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How Clever People Deal With Rude People (Instead Of Getting Angry With Them)

How Clever People Deal With Rude People (Instead Of Getting Angry With Them)

By nature, rude people tend to appear and likely believe they are the alphas in a situation that escalates toward confrontation. However, it is the clever person who may be on the receiving end of the rudeness who is the true alpha. We clever people have the emotional intelligence to recognize that we’re the ones in control, and we react accordingly, defusing the situation rather than making it worse.

We are often confronted by people who behave rudely in our everyday lives. And in turn, we have moments where we behave rudely. Impatience is usually a mitigating factor in most scenarios where someone has turned toward innapropriate abruptness.

Being self-aware is the first step in dealing with boorish people without getting angry, but the way we respond to rude people depends on the setting.

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I Must Engage!

As clever people, we are natural born leaders who don’t mind being uncomfortable. Putting ourselves in uncomfortable situations can lead to great successes. Engaging in a discussion, rather than an argument, with a rude person can lead to success. If done properly.

When I worked customer service for eight years, I had no choice but to engage. Therefore, I did so by using classic customer service techniques. I made sure that I restated the problem in my own words in order to show that I didn’t just sympathize, but I understood. I also used it as a teachable moment, for both myself and customer — if I was having to listen to more than one customer rudely berate me about a policy, perhaps the policy needed changing.

Have I Been in His Shoes?

What if I’m on the other end of the rude service behavior? We all have those moments where we’re minding our own business at the grocery store and someone flips out on you for no reason. Of course, you know there is a reason, asking why can be the first step in defusing the tension.

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Even we clever people who aren’t easily flustered sometimes have bad days. In fact, sometimes the smarter we are, the ruder we can be without realizing it. If you decide to engage with the rude barista, make sure you’re not rude in return by being overly blunt.

Don’t forget to put yourself in someone else’s shoes when it’s obvious that person is behaving rudely because of the situation, not their personality.

Just Let It Go!

In the end, there are rude people with whom we simply can’t reason. Or it’s neither the time nor the place to do so.

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The workplace is a setting in which we have to pick our battles. Arguing with rude coworkers in a public setting is never wise. This can make you look like the rude person rather than the clever one.

Instead, find the right moment to pull aside your coworker and thoughtfully engage then regarding their behavior. The trick is putting the onus on you rather than on them: “I feel mistreated when I am wrongfully accused of . . .”  This should put the shoe on the other foot, at least for a moment.

If the shoe can’t be put on the other foot, it may be time to walk away; a picture is worth a thousand words, and silence can sometimes speak volumes.

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There are times when silence is the most effective way of dealing with rude people. In fact, ignoring a rude person can be healthier than engaging with them. When we engage with rude people, it can drain our mental strength, making it harder for us to converse with people who aren’t rude.

Next time we encounter rude people, let’s instead take a breath and consider just putting some space between us and them. It might be the cleverest reaction of all.

Featured photo credit: People Fighting via static.pexels.com

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H. E. James

Writer and researcher

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Last Updated on December 10, 2019

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

Here’s the truth: your effectiveness at life is not what it could be. You’re missing out.

Each day passes by and you have nothing to prove that it even happened. Did you achieve something? Go on a date? Have an emotional breakthrough? Who knows?

But what you do know is that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

Our lives are full of hidden gems of knowledge and insight, and the most recent events in our lives contain the most useful gems of all. Do you know why? It’s simple, those hidden lessons are the most up to date, meaning they have the largest impact on what we’re doing right now.

But the question is, how do you get those lessons? There’s a simple way to do it, and it doesn’t involve time machines:

Journal writing.

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Improved mental clarity, the ability to see our lives in the big picture, as well as serving as a piece of evidence cataloguing every success we’ve ever had; we are provided all of the above and more by doing some journal writing.

Journal writing is a useful and flexible tool to help shed light on achieving your goals.

Here’s 5 smart reasons why you should do journal writing:

1. Journals Help You Have a Better Connection with Your Values, Emotions, and Goals

By journaling about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you understand your relationships with these things better. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.

Consider this:

Perhaps you’ve spent the last year or so working at a job you don’t like. It would be easy to just suck it up and keep working with your head down, going on as if it’s supposed to be normal to not like your job. Nobody else is complaining, so why should you, right?

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But a little journal writing will set things straight for you. You don’t like your job. You feel like it’s robbing you of happiness and satisfaction, and you don’t see yourself better there in the future.

The other workers? Maybe they don’t know, maybe they don’t care. But you do, you know and care enough to do something about it. And you’re capable of fixing this problem because your journal writing allows you to finally be honest with yourself about it.

2. Journals Improve Mental Clarity and Help Improve Your Focus

If there’s one thing journal writing is good for, it’s clearing the mental clutter.

How does it work? Simply, whenever you have a problem and write about it in a journal, you transfer the problem from your head to the paper. This empties the mind, allowing allocation of precious resources to problem-solving rather than problem-storing.

Let’s say you’ve been juggling several tasks at work. You’ve got data entry, testing, e-mails, problems with the boss, and so on—enough to overwhelm you—but as you start journal writing, things become clearer and easier to understand: Data entry can actually wait till Thursday; Bill kindly offered earlier to do my testing; For e-mails, I can check them now; the boss is just upset because Becky called in sick, etc.

You become better able to focus and reason your tasks out, and this is an indispensable and useful skill to have.

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3. Journals Improve Insight and Understanding

As a positive consequence of improving your mental clarity, you become more open to insights you may have missed before. As you write your notes out, you’re essentially having a dialogue with yourself. This draws out insights that you would have missed otherwise; it’s almost as if two people are working together to better understand each other. This kind of insight is only available to the person who has taken the time to connect with and understand themselves in the form of writing.

Once you’ve gotten a few entries written down, new insights can be gleaned from reading over them. What themes do you see in your life? Do you keep switching goals halfway through? Are you constantly dating the same type of people who aren’t good for you? Have you slowly but surely pushed people out of your life for fear of being hurt?

All of these questions can be answered by simply self-reflecting, but you can only discover the answers if you’ve captured them in writing. These questions are going to be tough to answer without a journal of your actions and experiences.

4. Journals Track Your Overall Development

Life happens, and it can happen fast. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and look around at what’s happening to us at each moment. We don’t get to see the step-by-step progress that we’re making in our own lives. So what happens? One day it’s the future, and you have no idea how you’ve gotten there.

Journal writing allows you to see how you’ve changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you took a misstep and fell.

The great thing about journals is that you’ll know what that misstep was, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen again—all because you made sure to log it, allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes.

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5. Journals Facilitate Personal Growth

The best thing about journal writing is that no matter what you end up writing about, it’s hard to not grow from it. You can’t just look at a past entry in which you acted shamefully and say “that was dumb, anyway!” No, we say “I will never make a dumb choice like that again!”

It’s impossible not to grow when it comes to journal writing. That’s what makes journal writing such a powerful tool, whether it’s about achieving goals, becoming a better person, or just general personal-development. No matter what you use it for, you’ll eventually see yourself growing as a person.

Kickstart Journaling

How can journaling best be of use to you? To vent your emotions? To help achieve your goals? To help clear your mind? What do you think makes journaling such a useful life skill?

Know the answer? Then it’s about time you reap the benefits of journal writing and start putting pen to paper.

Here’s what you can do to start journaling:

Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com

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