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How Clever People Deal With Rude People (Instead Of Getting Angry With Them)

How Clever People Deal With Rude People (Instead Of Getting Angry With Them)

By nature, rude people tend to appear and likely believe they are the alphas in a situation that escalates toward confrontation. However, it is the clever person who may be on the receiving end of the rudeness who is the true alpha. We clever people have the emotional intelligence to recognize that we’re the ones in control, and we react accordingly, defusing the situation rather than making it worse.

We are often confronted by people who behave rudely in our everyday lives. And in turn, we have moments where we behave rudely. Impatience is usually a mitigating factor in most scenarios where someone has turned toward innapropriate abruptness.

Being self-aware is the first step in dealing with boorish people without getting angry, but the way we respond to rude people depends on the setting.

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I Must Engage!

As clever people, we are natural born leaders who don’t mind being uncomfortable. Putting ourselves in uncomfortable situations can lead to great successes. Engaging in a discussion, rather than an argument, with a rude person can lead to success. If done properly.

When I worked customer service for eight years, I had no choice but to engage. Therefore, I did so by using classic customer service techniques. I made sure that I restated the problem in my own words in order to show that I didn’t just sympathize, but I understood. I also used it as a teachable moment, for both myself and customer — if I was having to listen to more than one customer rudely berate me about a policy, perhaps the policy needed changing.

Have I Been in His Shoes?

What if I’m on the other end of the rude service behavior? We all have those moments where we’re minding our own business at the grocery store and someone flips out on you for no reason. Of course, you know there is a reason, asking why can be the first step in defusing the tension.

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Even we clever people who aren’t easily flustered sometimes have bad days. In fact, sometimes the smarter we are, the ruder we can be without realizing it. If you decide to engage with the rude barista, make sure you’re not rude in return by being overly blunt.

Don’t forget to put yourself in someone else’s shoes when it’s obvious that person is behaving rudely because of the situation, not their personality.

Just Let It Go!

In the end, there are rude people with whom we simply can’t reason. Or it’s neither the time nor the place to do so.

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The workplace is a setting in which we have to pick our battles. Arguing with rude coworkers in a public setting is never wise. This can make you look like the rude person rather than the clever one.

Instead, find the right moment to pull aside your coworker and thoughtfully engage then regarding their behavior. The trick is putting the onus on you rather than on them: “I feel mistreated when I am wrongfully accused of . . .”  This should put the shoe on the other foot, at least for a moment.

If the shoe can’t be put on the other foot, it may be time to walk away; a picture is worth a thousand words, and silence can sometimes speak volumes.

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There are times when silence is the most effective way of dealing with rude people. In fact, ignoring a rude person can be healthier than engaging with them. When we engage with rude people, it can drain our mental strength, making it harder for us to converse with people who aren’t rude.

Next time we encounter rude people, let’s instead take a breath and consider just putting some space between us and them. It might be the cleverest reaction of all.

Featured photo credit: People Fighting via static.pexels.com

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H. E. James

Writer and researcher

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Last Updated on August 16, 2018

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

The ability to take risks by stepping outside your comfort zone is the primary way by which we grow. But we are often afraid to take that first step.

In truth, comfort zones are not really about comfort, they are about fear. Break the chains of fear to get outside. Once you do, you will learn to enjoy the process of taking risks and growing in the process.

Here are 10 ways to help you step out of your comfort zone and get closer to success:

1. Become aware of what’s outside of your comfort zone

What are the things that you believe are worth doing but are afraid of doing yourself because of the potential for disappointment or failure?

Draw a circle and write those things down outside the circle. This process will not only allow you to clearly identify your discomforts, but your comforts. Write identified comforts inside the circle.

2. Become clear about what you are aiming to overcome

Take the list of discomforts and go deeper. Remember, the primary emotion you are trying to overcome is fear.

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How does this fear apply uniquely to each situation? Be very specific.

Are you afraid of walking up to people and introducing yourself in social situations? Why? Is it because you are insecure about the sound of your voice? Are you insecure about your looks?

Or, are you afraid of being ignored?

3. Get comfortable with discomfort

One way to get outside of your comfort zone is to literally expand it. Make it a goal to avoid running away from discomfort.

Let’s stay with the theme of meeting people in social settings. If you start feeling a little panicked when talking to someone you’ve just met, try to stay with it a little longer than you normally would before retreating to comfort. If you stay long enough and practice often enough, it will start to become less uncomfortable.

4. See failure as a teacher

Many of us are so afraid of failure that we would rather do nothing than take a shot at our dreams.

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Begin to treat failure as a teacher. What did you learn from the experience? How can you take that lesson to your next adventure to increase your chance of success?

Many highly successful people failed plenty of times before they succeeded. Here’re some examples:

10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

5. Take baby steps

Don’t try to jump outside your comfort zone, you will likely become overwhelmed and jump right back in.

Take small steps toward the fear you are trying to overcome. If you want to do public speaking, start by taking every opportunity to speak to small groups of people. You can even practice with family and friends.

Take a look at this article on how you can start taking baby steps:

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The Number One Secret to Life Success: Baby Steps

6. Hang out with risk takers

There is no substitute for this step. If you want to become better at something, you must start hanging out with the people who are doing what you want to do and start emulating them. (Here’re 8 Reasons Why Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful).

Almost inevitably, their influence will start have an effect on your behavior.

7. Be honest with yourself when you are trying to make excuses

Don’t say “Oh, I just don’t have the time for this right now.” Instead, be honest and say “I am afraid to do this.”

Don’t make excuses, just be honest. You will be in a better place to confront what is truly bothering you and increase your chance of moving forward.

8. Identify how stepping out will benefit you

What will the ability to engage in public speaking do for your personal and professional growth? Keep these potential benefits in mind as motivations to push through fear.

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9. Don’t take yourself too seriously

Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes. Risk taking will inevitably involve failure and setbacks that will sometimes make you look foolish to others. Be happy to roll with the punches when others poke fun.

If you aren’t convinced yet, check out these 6 Reasons Not to Take Life So Seriously.

10. Focus on the fun

Enjoy the process of stepping outside your safe boundaries. Enjoy the fun of discovering things about yourself that you may not have been aware of previously.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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