Advertising
Advertising

How Clever People Deal With Rude People (Instead Of Getting Angry With Them)

How Clever People Deal With Rude People (Instead Of Getting Angry With Them)

By nature, rude people tend to appear and likely believe they are the alphas in a situation that escalates toward confrontation. However, it is the clever person who may be on the receiving end of the rudeness who is the true alpha. We clever people have the emotional intelligence to recognize that we’re the ones in control, and we react accordingly, defusing the situation rather than making it worse.

We are often confronted by people who behave rudely in our everyday lives. And in turn, we have moments where we behave rudely. Impatience is usually a mitigating factor in most scenarios where someone has turned toward innapropriate abruptness.

Being self-aware is the first step in dealing with boorish people without getting angry, but the way we respond to rude people depends on the setting.

Advertising

I Must Engage!

As clever people, we are natural born leaders who don’t mind being uncomfortable. Putting ourselves in uncomfortable situations can lead to great successes. Engaging in a discussion, rather than an argument, with a rude person can lead to success. If done properly.

When I worked customer service for eight years, I had no choice but to engage. Therefore, I did so by using classic customer service techniques. I made sure that I restated the problem in my own words in order to show that I didn’t just sympathize, but I understood. I also used it as a teachable moment, for both myself and customer — if I was having to listen to more than one customer rudely berate me about a policy, perhaps the policy needed changing.

Have I Been in His Shoes?

What if I’m on the other end of the rude service behavior? We all have those moments where we’re minding our own business at the grocery store and someone flips out on you for no reason. Of course, you know there is a reason, asking why can be the first step in defusing the tension.

Advertising

Even we clever people who aren’t easily flustered sometimes have bad days. In fact, sometimes the smarter we are, the ruder we can be without realizing it. If you decide to engage with the rude barista, make sure you’re not rude in return by being overly blunt.

Don’t forget to put yourself in someone else’s shoes when it’s obvious that person is behaving rudely because of the situation, not their personality.

Just Let It Go!

In the end, there are rude people with whom we simply can’t reason. Or it’s neither the time nor the place to do so.

Advertising

The workplace is a setting in which we have to pick our battles. Arguing with rude coworkers in a public setting is never wise. This can make you look like the rude person rather than the clever one.

Instead, find the right moment to pull aside your coworker and thoughtfully engage then regarding their behavior. The trick is putting the onus on you rather than on them: “I feel mistreated when I am wrongfully accused of . . .”  This should put the shoe on the other foot, at least for a moment.

If the shoe can’t be put on the other foot, it may be time to walk away; a picture is worth a thousand words, and silence can sometimes speak volumes.

Advertising

There are times when silence is the most effective way of dealing with rude people. In fact, ignoring a rude person can be healthier than engaging with them. When we engage with rude people, it can drain our mental strength, making it harder for us to converse with people who aren’t rude.

Next time we encounter rude people, let’s instead take a breath and consider just putting some space between us and them. It might be the cleverest reaction of all.

Featured photo credit: People Fighting via static.pexels.com

More by this author

H. E. James

Writer and researcher

Fashion As Comfort: Using Clothes To Heal I Work in Healthcare; Can I Work from Home, Too? Better Office Setups for Better Office Health Understanding and Dealing with a Difficult Boss How Clever People Deal With Rude People (Instead Of Getting Angry With Them)

Trending in Communication

1 How to Make Changes in Life To Be The Very Best Version of You 2 Adapting to Change: Why It Matters and How to Do It 3 Why It’s Never Too Late To Redefine Yourself 4 Feeling Like It Might Be Too Late To Pursue Your Dreams? Think Again 5 How SMART Goal Setting Makes Lasting Changes in Your Life

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on February 18, 2019

Why It’s Never Too Late To Redefine Yourself

Why It’s Never Too Late To Redefine Yourself

The ability to reinvent and redefine yourself is a bold, daring and purposeful choice. It doesn’t just happen. You have to make a conscious, intentional choice and then follow through.

If the thought of forging a new path, changing habits, thought patterns and your inner circle of friends scares you – you’re not alone. Change can be a very scary thing. It takes courage, fortitude and a bit of faith to decide to shed your old self and don a new persona. However, it is one of the most critical processes one must repeatedly endure in the pursuit of destiny. Change unlocks new levels of potential.

The Need for Change

Everyday when we wake up, we make a decision. We decide to follow our routine or we decide to go off script and shake things up a bit. For those who are creatures of habit, routine is comfortable, easy and produces very little stress. The problem with this is, after a while you stop growing.

Advertising

We all reinvent ourselves at some point in our lives. It is absolutely necessary to achieve certain levels of success.

Reflect back on who you were as a teenager and then who you were at 25. Those are two very different people. Most of us are completely different. Your thought patterns changed, your appearance, job, level of education and even your friends– changed. We like to refer to this as “growing up” or maturing and consider it to be one of life’s natural progressions. However the changes you made were purposeful and deliberate.

This process must be a lifelong and continuous cycle. You are never too old to refresh yourself.

Advertising

Happy_old_man

    Signs It’s Time to Redefine

    “Just as established products and brands need updating to stay alive and vibrant, you periodically need to refresh or reinvent yourself.”– Mireille Guiliano

    So how do you know when it’s time for a system upgrade? There are signs along the way that alert you that it is time for an overhaul. The first sign is the feeling of being stuck. If you feel like you are in a rut, you’re bored with life or you need some newness and excitement, a self reinvention may be in order. Re-evaluate your life vision and your goals. Is that vision still valid and are your goals consistent with your vision and–are they achievable? If you are off course, it’s time for a change. If you are not moving forward and making progress, it’s time for a change.

    Advertising

    In life, there’s no such thing as neutrality–you’re either moving forward or you are moving backward. Time constantly moves forward and if you are standing still, you are actually losing ground. No matter your age or stage in life– there is always room for improvement.

    “You’re never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.” ~C. S. Lewis

    The second sign that you are due for a change is the occurrence of major life events in which change is forced upon you. Getting married, starting a new job, being promoted, ending a relationship, becoming a parenting or relocating are all prime opportunities to completely overhaul your life.

    Advertising

    When these major shifts occur in your life–you have to shift with them. You can’t have a single mentality and have a successful marriage. You can’t remain selfish and irresponsible, and raise a healthy, well-adjusted child. You can’t be promoted to a supervisory position and keep the same subordinate attitude. Each level of success requires something different from you.

    Aronld in Predator

      Consider, for a moment, Arnold Schwarzenegger. People may have different opinions about his character and some of his life choices, but he is a master at reinventing himself. He achieved the ultimate success as a professional body builder by earning the title “Mr. Universe” three times. He then earned a tremendous amount of fame and fortune in the entertainment industry making action/adventure films. And in his latest role, he served two terms as the Governor of California. He succeeded as a professional body builder, a film star and a politician. Each role required massive amounts of change, commitment, strength and hard work.

      And if Arnold can do it…so can you!

      Featured photo credit: BK via flickr.com

      Read Next