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Why People Who Don’t Use Phones All the Time Lead A More Meaningful Life

Why People Who Don’t Use Phones All the Time Lead A More Meaningful Life

Prepare yourself for a bit of a rant.

I spent much of January, 2011 in Costa Rica on a study abroad trip. I returned with many vivid memories, such as staring into a volcano, hiking down hundreds of stone steps to a stunning waterfall, zip lining through misty clouds above a breathtaking rain forest, and eating dinner at a cliff-side restaurant overlooking a starlit valley.

But perhaps my favorite memory, the one I miss the most, is the moment I locked my cell phone in the hotel safe—where it lurked for the rest of the trip.

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Don’t get me wrong. Phones are useful. But somewhere along the way, people seem to have stopped viewing phones as a means to an end and started treating them like little rechargeable deities. I say “little”—these last few years phones have hit a growth spurt. Society needs to make up its mind. How can you expect me to wear skinny jeans when I’m trying to transport a phone that’s as big as my face? But I digress.

Anyway, assuming you’re like me, and you can spend an hour sans cell phone (without hyperventilating), let’s indulge in a playful little tribute to ourselves. Here is why the few of us who can survive an awkward pause without a cellphone conversation are wonderful.

1. We know how to have an actual conversation.

Don’t you love it when you’re telling a story and the listener pulls out their phone? Some would argue I’m just a bad story teller, but I choose to blame phone addicts. If you were talking to me and I turned to talk to someone else, you would be annoyed right? So how is it any different when you start reading a text? Why are the text thoughts more important than mine? I’m the one who cared enough to actually spend time with you. And don’t give me the classic line “Keep going, I’m still listening.” I’ll bet you are.

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2. We can go on an actual vacation.

I love cruises. So much. And one of the many reasons is everybody leaves their phones in their rooms and tries to remember how to be a human being—at least while they’re on the ship.

Earlier this year, my wife and I went on a cruise that debarked in Cozumel. We hitched a ride to the nearest beach; and while I swam in the crystal clear water, bounced sky high on floating trampolines, and tried to conquer my crippling fear of marine life, my beautiful wife took advantage of the beach’s free wifi. Because apparently that’s a thing now. Free wifi. At the beach.

3. We can tell you who won the game.

I will never understand this. How can you spend big money on concert or sports tickets and waste the whole show looking at your phone? Explain that to me. I took a college class from the GM of a minor league baseball team. He explained a growing struggle in live sports is keeping people’s attention on the action instead of their phones. Hence all the wacky dance contests and t-shirt bombardments during timeouts.

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4. We’re less stressed (according to research).

In a study conducted at the University of Missouri, Time Magazine reports students’ “blood pressure and heart rate increased” when their cell phones “started ringing across the room but they were unable to answer them.”

In a different study, “high mobile phone use was associated with sleep disturbances and symptoms of depression for the men and symptoms of depression for the women.”

And since many of us use our phones to browse through social media sites, I’ll give you one more. Elite Daily reports, “New research suggests people who don’t use Facebook are happier than the average person who uses the social networking site regularly.”

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5. We don’t ruin movies for everyone around us.

Remember when the first “turn off your phones” reminder showed up in movie theaters? At the time, it didn’t seem that necessary. Now, the movie warm up routine is basically preview, “turn off your phone,” preview, “turn off your phone,” opening credits, “turn off your phone.” And it still doesn’t work! I was at one theater that encouraged people to install an app that puts your phone on “movie mode.” Are you kidding me? Your phone already has a built-in movie mode. It’s called “silent,” and it’s not hard to activate.

Confession Time

I may have come on strong in this post, so let me land this plane with a little humility and a dose of encouragement.

I’m a recovering cell phone addict. My particular app of choice was Clash of Clans. I would rearrange my entire schedule and mistreat the people around me in service to that game. But thanks to a five day cruise (I told you cruises were wonderful), I broke the habit. Then I went a step further. I’ve recently changed the settings on my phone’s work email account so it won’t sync unless I tell it to manually. This gives me access to my work emails when I want, instead of letting them constantly interrupt my evenings and weekends.

If you find yourself feeling shackled to your cell phone, consider the research and know that, at least in my case, life has been more fun ever since I took control (minus a few days of withdrawal).

Featured photo credit: View Apart via shutterstock.com

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Kyle Young

Operations Manager, GoinsWriter

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Last Updated on November 26, 2020

How Relationships Building Helps Achieve Career Success

How Relationships Building Helps Achieve Career Success

As playwright Wilson Mizner supposedly said all the way back in the 1930s,

“Be kind to everyone on the way up; you will meet the same people on the way down.”

The adage is the perfect prototype for relationship building in 2020, although we may want to expand Mizner’s definition of “kind” to include being helpful, respectful, grateful, and above all, crediting your colleagues along the way.

5 Ways to Switch on Your Relationship Building Magnetism

Relationship building does not come easily to all. Today’s computer culture makes us more insular and less likely to reach out—not to mention our new work-from-home situation in which we are only able to interact virtually. Still, relationship building remains an important part of career engagement and success, and it gets better with practice.

Here are five ways you can strengthen your relationships:

1. Advocate for Other’s Ideas

Take the initiative to speak up in support of other team members’ good ideas. Doing so lets others know that the team’s success takes precedence over your needs for personal success. Get behind any colleague’s innovative approach or clever solution and offer whatever help you can give to see it through. Teammates will value your vote of confidence and your support.

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2. Show Compassion

If you learn that someone whom you work with has encountered difficult times, reach out. If it’s not someone you know well, a hand-written card expressing your sympathy and hopes for better times ahead could be an initial gesture. If it’s someone with whom you interact regularly, the act could involve offering to take on some of the person’s work to provide a needed reprieve or even bringing in a home-cooked dish as a way to offer comfort. The show of compassion will not go unnoticed, and your relationship building will have found a foothold.

3. Communicate Regularly

Make an effort to share any information with team members that will help them do their jobs more effectively. Keeping people in the loop says a lot about your consideration for what others need to deliver their best results.

Try to discover the preferred mode of communication for each team member. Some people are fine relying on emails; others like to have a phone conversation. And once we can finally return to working together in offices, you may determine that face-to-face updates may be most advantageous for some members.

4. Ask for Feedback

Showing your willingness to reach out for advice and guidance will make a positive impression on your boss. When you make it clear that you welcome and can accept pointers, you display candor and trust in what opinions your superior has to offer. Your proclivity towards considering ways of improving your performance and strengthening any working interactions will signal your strong relationship skills.

If you are in a work environment where you are asked to give feedback, be generous and compassionate. That does not mean being wishy-washy. Try always to give the type of feedback that you wouldn’t mind receiving.

5. Give Credit Where It’s Due

Be the worker who remembers to credit staffers with their contributions. It’s a surprisingly rare talent to credit others, but when you do so, they will remember to credit you, and the collective credit your team will accrue will be well worth the effort.

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How Does Relationship Building Build Careers?

Once you have strengthened and deepened your relationships, here are some of the great benefits:

Work Doesn’t Feel So Much Like Work

According to a Gallup poll, when you have a best friend at work, you are more likely to feel engaged with your job. Work is more fun when you have positive, productive relationships with your colleagues. Instead of spending time and energy overcoming difficult personalities, you can spend time enjoying the camaraderie with colleagues as you work congenially on projects together. When your coworkers are your friends, time goes by quickly and challenges don’t weigh as heavily.

You Can Find Good Help

It’s easier to ask for assistance when you have a good working relationship with a colleague. And with office tasks changing at the speed of technology, chances are that you are going to need some help acclimating—especially now that work has gone remote due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

Much of relationship building rests on your genuine expressions of appreciation toward others. Showing gratitude for another’s help or for their willingness to put in the extra effort will let them know you value them.

Mentors Come Out of the Woodwork

Mentors are proven to advance your professional and career development. A mentor can help you navigate how to approach your work and keep you apprised of industry trends. They have a plethora of experience to draw from that can be invaluable when advising you on achieving career success and advancement.

Mentors flock to those who are skilled at relationship building. So, work on your relationships and keep your eyes peeled for a worthy mentor.

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You Pull Together as a Team

Great teamwork starts with having an “abundance mentality” rather than a scarcity mentality. Too often, workers view all projects through a scarcity mentality lens. This leads to office strife as coworkers compete for their piece of the pie. But in an abundance mentality mode, you focus on the strengths that others bring rather than the possibility that they are potential competitors.

Instead, you can commit relationship building efforts to ensure a positive work environment rather than an adversarial one. When you let others know that you intend to support their efforts and contribute to their success, they will respond in kind. Go, team!

Your Network Expands and So Does Your Paycheck

Expand your relationship building scope beyond your coworkers to include customers, suppliers, and other industry stakeholders. Your extra efforts can lead to extra sales, a more rewarding career, and even speedy professional advancement. And don’t overlook the importance of building warm relationships with assistants, receptionists, or even interns.

Take care to build bridges, not just to your boss and your boss’s boss but with those that work under you as well. You may find that someone who you wouldn’t expect will put in a good word for you with your supervisor.

Building and maintaining good working relationships with everyone you come in contact with can pay off in unforeseen ways. You never know when that underling will turn out to be the company’s “golden child.” Six years from now you may be turning to them for a job. If you have built up a good, trusting work relationship with others along your way, you will more likely be considered for positions that any of these people may be looking to fill.

Your Job Won’t Stress You Out

Study shows that some 83 percent of American workers experience work-related stress.[1] Granted, some of that stress is now likely caused by the new pandemic-triggered workplace adjustments, yet bosses and management, in general, are reportedly the predominant source of stress for more than one-third of workers.

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Having meaningful connections among coworkers is the best way to make work less stressful. Whether it is having others whom to commiserate with, bounce ideas off, or bring out your best performance, friendships strengthen the group’s esprit de corps and lower the stress level of your job.

Your Career Shines Bright

Who would you feel better about approaching to provide a recommendation or ask for promotion: a cold, aloof boss with whom you have only an impersonal relationship or one that knows you as a person and with whom you have built a warm, trusting relationship?

Your career advancement will always excel when you have a mutual bond of friendship and appreciation with those who can recommend you. Consider the plug you could receive from a supervisor who knows you as a friend versus one who remains detached and only notices you in terms of your ability to meet deadlines or attain goals.

When people fully know your skills, strengths, personality, and aspirations, you have promoters who will sing your praises with any opportunity for advancement.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, it is “who you know” not “what you know.” When you build relationships, you build a pipeline of colleagues, work partners, team members, current bosses, and former bosses who want to help you—who want to see you succeed.

At its core, every business is a people business. Making a point to take the small but meaningful actions that build the foundation of a good relationship can be instrumental in cultivating better relationships at work.

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Featured photo credit: Adam Winger via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] The American Institute of Stress: 42 Worrying Workplace Stress Statistics

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