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10 Traps Most Women Over 30 Fall Into. Read This If You Want To Be The Survivors

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10 Traps Most Women Over 30 Fall Into. Read This If You Want To Be The Survivors

Your twenties are for figuring out how to be an adult and making mistakes along the way. Once you turn thirty, you have had a decade of experience behind you and realize what is no longer acceptable for your life. For me, I realized when I was almost thirty that I needed to learn how to get in control of my finances and personal budget.

Read on to see a few things that do not cut it anymore.

1. Ignoring the benefits of physical exercise will lead to a lifetime of bad health

In your twenties, your body may have been more forgiving when you went weeks without exercising, but now that you are older your body cannot be neglected anymore. I know that a late night eating binge is much harder on my body now, than in my twenties when my metabolism was much faster. Making it a priority to get daily exercise, is of the utmost importance not only for maintaining your current health, but also even more so as you get older. No matter how busy your schedule gets, you can always make room for a thirty minute walk around the block or a quick jog through a nearby park.

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2. Tolerating worthless guys will lead to you always dating someone who doesn’t care about your well-being

Throughout your twenties you put up with a lot of guys who you knew deep down were not worthy of your time. Waiting for that guy from last night to call or playing the is-he-into-me game over and over in your head. I spent many nights waiting for “Mr. Right” to call. Now that you are older and wiser, you know your self-worth and realize that you deserve a guy who knows how to treat a woman and is not afraid of commitment.

3. Considering junk food a meal when really it is poisoning your body

It can be easy as a young adult when you are broke to get dinner from McDonald’s or eat instant ramen for the third time in a week. As you get older you realize how much damage you are doing to your body and the importance of nourishing it with wholesome meals. I used to consider junk food a viable meal, but now I cringe when I think about all the chemicals I put into my body. Instead of scarfing a whole bag of potato chips, from now on you should go for apple slices with peanut butter. Not as exciting, but your body will definitely thank you in the long run.

4. Being ashamed about who you are will disable you from reaching your dreams

In your twenties you felt like you had to hide certain parts of who you were if they were not socially acceptable, for example wanting to become a writer instead of working in marketing. I am embracing the fact that I am a writer and although I still sometimes feel insecure about this career path, I know it’s the right choice for me. You now realize that life is short and it’s important to embrace who you are, no matter what society thinks.

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5. Ignoring your mental health can create a domino effect into all areas of your life

Adult life can be immensely stressful and as a twenty-something it was easier to deal with issues by drowning yourself in a tub of ice cream and binge watching your favorite TV show. I know I had my fair share of nights at home, soothing my pain with chocolates and wine. As a woman in your thirties you realize there is now a much better way to deal with life’s hardships, whether it is taking time to meditate for a few minutes in the morning or seeing a therapist every week.

6. Comparing yourself to others will only make you feel worthless

One of the most toxic habits of your twenties was constantly comparing yourself with your peers, whether it was virtually or in real life. I realize how toxic social media like Facebook and Instagram can be and try to catch myself when I begin to fanitcise about other people’s so-called perfect life. You now realize this only caused more pain and that most importantly no one’s life is perfect, even if their Instagram feed says otherwise.

7. Not standing up for yourself will prevent you from reaching your goals

There were plenty of moments throughout your twenties when you looked back and wished you had been more assertive, whether it was at work or in your personal life. I used to be terrified that I would say something wrong and die of embaressement, but now I know it is better to speak-up and have your opinions heard. As a thirty-something you now know how important it is to have your voice heard, especially since no one else is going to do it for you.

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8. Superficial friendships only suck your valuable time and energy

In you twenties having a large social circle was enjoyable, even if you did not necessary like everyone in it. In your thirties you have now come to realize the importance of having a few true friends instead. In my thirties, I am truly beginning to realize quality over quantity with my friendships and that having a few close friends is much more important than having a dozen friends that you only know on the surface.

9. Not indulging in a few expensive items will make you realize your house is filled with cheap things you often have to replace

Being a frugal twenty-something, buying cheap clothes and accessories seemed to make sense. Now that you are in your thirties you see the importance of buying a few important items that are of quality and that you will be able to use for a very long time. I used to think cheaper is better, but after realizing that I was actually spending more than I thought when I had to replace an item after a few months, I realized the importance of upgrading to better quality.

10. Not knowing how to cook will lead to you having to get take-out for dinner parties

As a young adult it is easier to get away with only knowing how to cook pasta and scrambled eggs, but now that you are older it is important to know how to make several healthy of dishes that will not only give you variety in your daily meals, but also are great for when friends come over for dinner. I realized there is nothing that compares to a home-cooked meal because it’s something you can truly be proud of as a host.

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Featured photo credit: KieferPix via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on January 5, 2022

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

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How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

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That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

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More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

Reference

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