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10 Habits Everyone Should Start Practicing Before Turning 30

10 Habits Everyone Should Start Practicing Before Turning 30

I’ve officially entered the second half of my 30’s. In my 20’s and early 30’s, there were some life lessons I learned the hard way, and something I didn’t figure out until my 30’s that I wish I would’ve understood much sooner.

Here are some habits to master before turning 30. If you get these figured out in your 20’s, you’ll enter your 30’s with a great start.

1. Self-acceptance

Becoming a self-expert is the key to beginning to accept – and love – yourself. I recommend devoting time in your 20’s to self-discovery. I didn’t have a strong understanding of who I am until I reached my 30’s. If I would’ve really known myself in my 20’s, I believe I would’ve avoided many bad decisions. Once you truly know yourself, you can learn to accept yourself and all your unique traits. When you understand who you are including your natural strengths, quirks, and potential shortcomings, you can make decisions that better suit your personality. This will affect all areas of your life – your career, your relationships, and your lifestyle.

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2. The ability to drown out your inner critic

Start paying attention to the messages you tell yourself. If you’re inner dialogue is self-defeating and negative, it’s time to make a change. Feed your mind with positive thoughts. Compliment yourself. It’s time to treat yourself like you are your own best friend. 

3. Healthy stress relief habits

When you’re in your 30’s, you’re officially an adult, which comes with its own set of stressors. How you deal with life’s stressors will make a huge difference in your happiness. Work on getting rid of self-destructive coping mechanisms. Experiment with healthy stress management techniques, such as exercising, meditating, or socializing, and adopt the techniques that suit you best.

4. How to give without expecting anything in return

Giving to others altruistically helps them and also changes your life. When you help others – either by giving your encouragement and emotional support, lending a helping hand, or donating your time and money, great things happen. It will help many lives significantly when you get out of your head and think about others.

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5. How to forgive

Oprah Winfrey describes her favorite definition of forgiveness as “giving up the hope that the past could be any different.” Oprah writes, “Forgiveness doesn’t mean you condone the behavior or, in any way, make a wrong right. It just means you give yourself permission to release from your past – and step forward with the mud of resentment cleared from your wings. Fly!”

Harboring anger toward yourself or others you feel have wronged you can significantly hold you back in life. You absolutely must learn to forgive those who have hurt you to be truly free. Amazing things can happen in your life when you let go of your anger, resentment, and bitterness.

6. How to have healthy relationships

Being able to build healthy relationships will affect almost every area of your life. One of my favorite quotes is by Jim Rohn, who said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” When you surround yourself with people who build you up, inspire you, and encourage you to be your best, you will do amazing things. The sooner you develop a strong network of friends and learn how to have healthy relationships in your love life, the better.

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7. How to tolerate your own company

You don’t have to love time alone; many people would prefer to be in the company of others than spend a day alone (myself included). However, it’s important to tolerate being alone on occasion to reflect. Try doing little things on your own without scheduling your day around others — even something as simple as a manicure for yourself teaches you that time alone is valuable.

8. Spend your life doing what actually matters to you

Millions of people spend their lives doing work that isn’t meaningful to them. I believe you can find and do work you love, and your life will be so much more fulfilling if you do work that lights you up. If you’re not sure what you’re passionate about, this free workbook is a great start.

9. How to stand your ground

Learning to say no is an essential part of living the life you deserve. Decide what behavior you refuse you tolerate from others, draw your line in the sand, and stand your ground to people who are toxic. Learn to say no to being treated with disrespect. Learn to say no to time-sucking activities you dread but feel obligated to do. This is your one life. Learn to hold true to your values and focus your life on your purpose, priorities, and passions.

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10. How to gain control of your finances

Become financially literate and work on improving your financial situation. Learn about investing. Taking time to invest at a young age can make a huge difference to your financial future.

Do you have additional suggestions for people in their 20’s? I’d love to hear them.

More by this author

Dr. Kerry Petsinger

Entrepreneur, Mindset & Performance Coach, & Doctor of Physical Therapy

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

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