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6 Pieces Of Advice That Every Woman Should Refuse To Accept

6 Pieces Of Advice That Every Woman Should Refuse To Accept

Ladies, how often do you receive advice from others? Chances are, pretty frequently. This advice, whether requested or unsolicited, isn’t always the greatest.

Here are 6 pieces of advice that every woman should refuse to accept.

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1. That’s a male-dominated field – pick a job for women

In this article, Richard Branson responds to 9-year-old Annie’s letter to him that included blueprints of an aircraft she designed. Branson writes, “I also think it’s wonderful that you are looking at an industry that is largely made up by males. If you’re thinking about becoming an engineer or a pilot, then my advice is to go for it. Go out and grab it with both hands. The world needs more female engineers and pilots, and entrepreneurs. If you put your mind to it, you can achieve it – you’ve clearly got drive, which is a necessary quality of all these careers.”

2. It’s time for you to settle down and get married

That’s horrible advice. If you’re not ready to get married, don’t. Wait to get married until you really know yourself and you and your significant other both feel ready. Just because your friends are all settling down by a certain age doesn’t mean you need to.

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3. Stay in your relationship, no matter what

Breaking up from a serious dating relationship is never easy. Once you are married and add a couple kids to the mix, it’s even more complicated to end a relationship. However, that doesn’t mean you should always stay no matter what. There are times when staying in a relationship means living in a toxic, abusive environment. Better advice is to seek help to salvage an overall healthy relationship, and seek help to get out if you’re in an abusive situation.

4. You should have a kid

Women are given this advice all the time. Whether they are childless or have several kids already, women frequently receive unsolicited advice about having kids. When you decide to have children, if at all, the decision should be between you and your life partner. It’s a very personal decision that is not to be taken lightly and should not be based on pressure from others.

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5. You should put all your dreams on hold when you have kids

Life changes when you have kids. Suddenly, you may find your priorities change. However, this doesn’t mean every single one of your dreams needs to go on hold when you become a parent. I strongly believe every mother should pursue some interests aside from her children, so she can continue to learn and grow and cultivate her passions. It’s very beneficial to continue to dream.

6. You’re a bad mom if…(fill in the blank)…

Women make snarky comments all the time. You’re a bad mom if you don’t breastfeed. You’re a bad mom if you’re still breastfeeding your child at a certain age. You’re a bad mom if you’re too tired to exercise. You’re a bad mom if you choose the gym over hanging out with your child. You’re a bad mom if you don’t feed your kid all organic food. You’re a bad mom if you spend too much time in the kitchen cooking when you should be reading to your child. You’re a bad mom for teaching your kid academics when you should let him have freestyle play time. You’re a bad mom for so much play time; you need to teach your child math so she won’t fall behind. I see this type of behavior frequently among moms.

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Enough of the mommy wars already. More than likely, whether you’re busy climbing the corporate ladder or climbing out from under a pile of Cheerios, you’re a good mom. Focus on the needs and desires of your immediate family and make your decisions accordingly. Do your best to ditch the concept of being superwoman, and realize you will never please everybody. Find what works best for you and your loved ones, and don’t worry about the opinions of others.

Ladies, it’s time to live boldly and blaze your own trail.

Featured photo credit: Laura/Dita Margarita via flickr.com

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Dr. Kerry Petsinger

Entrepreneur, Mindset & Performance Coach, & Doctor of Physical Therapy

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Last Updated on April 8, 2020

11 Things Overachievers Do Differently

11 Things Overachievers Do Differently

We all know some overachievers: supermoms who manage to get online degrees between cleaning, cooking, and taking kids to practice; students who write 10-page papers when the directions call for 4; managers whose resumes look more like pages from the Guinness book of Records.

How do they do it all? How is it possible that one person can graduate at the top of their class, found an orphanage in India, run 30k marathons, write a best-selling book, travel all over the world and learn to speak Mandarin Chinese while having a full-time job?

What’s the secret of an overachiever? Here’re 11 things overachievers do differently that you can learn from.

1. They Know How to Manage Their Time

It’s pretty simple actually – you can never become an overachiever if you don’t know how to organize your time efficiently.

The great thing is that overachievers are ready to share their knowledge and time management talent with the rest of the world. Read The 4-Hour Workweek or The 4-Hour Body by Timothy Ferriss, and you’ll know what I’m talking about.

2. They Don’t Spend Hours Watching TV or Playing Computer Games

Mostly because they have better things to do, like exercising, reading, spending an evening with their family or volunteering to work in the local soup kitchen. Their philosophy is simple – the world is full of wonderful things to try, explore and experience. Watching TV is not one of them.

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3. They Are Obsessed With Perfection

Imagine Steve Jobs’ work approach and you’ll understand the level of perfection and painfully high standards that overachievers set for themselves and those around them. Often it pays off (especially if they focus on just one domain). But sometimes compulsive over-striving turns into a sure-fire road to disappointments and unfinished tasks.

Learn how to strike a balance: How Not to Let Perfectionism Secretly Screw You Up

4. They Know How To Inspire

Overachievers learn quickly that it is much easier to achieve goals through collaboration (and especially delegation). So they know how to inspire, encourage, persuade and motivate people around them. Even though they often drive their team crazy with their stubbornness and perfectionism, people quickly follow under the spell of their enthusiasm and greater vision.

Learn these 10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively.

5. They Set Clear Goals

The term “overachiever” itself implies that they know how to achieve goals. That is kind of hard to do if your goals are vague, unclear and lack specific deadline, which is why overachievers educate themselves, read goal-setting books, and think about the best way to approach a new task.

Although, it’s worth mentioning that overachievers usually use their time management and goal-setting skills towards competitive, “I want to kick butt” type of goals rather than self-improvement, mastery goals.

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Take a look at these tips to help you set clearer goals: What Are SMART Goals (And How to Use Them to Become Successful)

6. They Are Organized

It’s hard to imagine a disorganized overachiever, isn’t it? Their great organizational and planning skills usually serve three main purposes: keeping track of time, keeping track of progress and keeping track of achievements.

This hasn’t been confirmed by scientific research yet, but overachievers might actually get a “runner’s high” from crossing tasks off their to-do lists, and making new to-do lists.

Here’s How to Organize Your Life: 10 Habits of Really Organized People

7. They Try to Avoid Failure at All Costs

Some psychologists believe that overachievers place their self-worth on their competence, driven by an underlying fear of failure. Rather than setting and striving for goals based on a pure desire to achieve, their core motivation becomes avoiding failure. This may explain the fact that overachiever beat themselves up for even little setbacks and seemingly-insignificant mistakes.

But be aware that having a strong fear of failure can wrek havoc your productivity. So the best thing to do? Learn to conquer the fear: Why You Have the Fear of Failure (And How to Conquer It)

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8. They Love Awards

Who doesn’t love them, right? True enough, but unlike most people who like to feel acknowledged and appreciated for their efforts, overachievers are bent on collecting ‘awards’, be it university degrees, spelling bee prizes or unusual destinations.

While loving awares isn’t bad, it’s even better if you’re driven by internal motivation instead of external ones which could be quite uncontrolable or unstable: Why Is Internal Motivation So Powerful (And How to Find It).

9. They Don’t Understand the Concept of Work Hours

Don’t get surprised if you receive a work-related email anywhere between 8 p.m. and midnight. It’s something overachievers usually do and you weren’t the only one. At least 20 more emails have been sent during these hours to other people. The concepts of over-achieving and working overtime usually go hand in hand.

The downside of this is an imbalnced life, which may need to problems in other aspects of life including health and relationships. A better way is to Achieve a Realistic Work Life Balance.

10. They Rest

Overachievers might often be labeled as “workaholics”, because they often ignore bodily signs of hunger, fatigue and even a full bladder, hoping to finish just one last little part. This doesn’t mean that overachievers don’t know how to disconnect and relax.

True that they tend to work in the highest gear, but they also have enough sense to give themselves time to rest and recharge. Of course, they do it in their own overachieving way, preferring climbing Mount Kilimanjaro or hiking through the Amazon jungle to lazing on the beach.

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11. Overachievers Continuously Educate Themselves

A great quality that most overachievers have is the hunger for knowledge. They surround themselves with bright people. They know how to listen, and most importantly, they get tons of mentoring.

Despite the fact that overachievers want to excel at everything they set their minds on, they are humble enough to admit that to get on top of their game, they need help. And they are willing to pay someone to push, coach and guide them.

You too can learn How to Create a Habit of Continuous Learning for a Better You.

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Featured photo credit: Nghia Le via unsplash.com

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