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Cliche Remarks that Go Nowhere in Conversation

Cliche Remarks that Go Nowhere in Conversation

It’s no secret that people overuse cliches. If these phrases weren’t overused, they wouldn’t be cliches, would they? When these phrases are used, though, the speaker’s lack of personality, originality, and interest shines right through. They might as well hold up a sign that says “I don’t care enough about this conversation to come up with something personable to say!” I’m not saying this is always the case, but you should always take care not to say any of the following in order to avoid annoying or insulting the person you’re speaking with.

1. “At the end of the day…”

People throw this around as if to say “regardless of everything else you just said, what I’m about to say is the only thing that matters.” It doesn’t matter how valid the other person’s point is; it’s not being taken into consideration. Using this cliche shows a lack of critical thinking skills, and that the speaker only thinks in terms of black and white. “At the end of the day, [arbitrary decision] must be done, no questions asked.” Why not? Are you afraid someone actually might bring up a good idea that you won’t be able to refute?

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2. “I know what you mean…”

Do you really? Granted, this is usually used by those who have been doing whatever they can do comfort a distraught friend, and sometimes enough is enough. But rather than being honest with the friend who seems intent on bringing everyone else around him down to his level, you swallow your pride and keep “yes-ing” him to death. You’re not doing him any favors by agreeing with him on points that you don’t actually agree with. And you’re definitely not helping yourself by wasting your time in a cyclical, one-sided conversation, either.

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3. “With all due respect…”

Nothing good ever comes after those four words. If someone ever says that to you, what they really mean is: “I’m about to say something really mean, but I don’t want you to think I’m actually that rude…even though I am.” People tend to think that prefacing a jabbing statement with “with all due respect” totally absolves them of any backlash from the person they’re speaking to. It doesn’t work that way. You’re going to hurt someone’s feelings, and they’re going to retaliate one way or another.

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4. “Isn’t that always the way?”

This goes along with “I know what you mean.” It usually goes along with listening to a friend’s sob story about how their girlfriend dumped them, or they got laid off from their job, or they just had a terrible day. Though you do care about them, saying something like this usually means “I care about you, but not enough to give you some helpful advice.” Although I can’t blame you if the person dumping their problems on you never takes your advice in the first place. In that case, I guess you could resort to this cliche. If they’re not really listening anyway, what difference does your response make?

5. “It is what it is”

Coming full circle, saying “it is what it is” generally means “I definitely disagree with the way things are, but who am I to change them?” This is a defeatist attitude that goes against everything we’ve been taught our entire lives. Nothing truly ever “is what it is”; things are the way they are because people allow them to be that way. It’s sort of the opposite of “at the end of the day.” While “at the end of the day” tends to come from someone in a supervisory position and is directed at an employee, “it is what it is” is usually a colleague-to-colleague statement lamenting the current situation they both find themselves in. Don’t ever let yourself be so downtrodden that you truly believe you can’t make a difference.

Featured photo credit: Bored / Paul Want via farm8.staticflickr.com

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Matt Duczeminski

A passionate writer who shares lifestlye tips on Lifehack

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

“When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

The Reinvention Checklist

Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

Resilience

Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

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Support

Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

Self-Care

During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

  • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
  • Spending time with your support system
  • Taking some time to walk in nature
  • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

How to Reinvent Yourself

Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

1. Discover Your Strengths

This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

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To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

2. Plan

This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

3. Try Things Out

Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

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By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

4. Manage Your Finances Well

Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

5. Muster Your Courage

Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

6. Use Your Support Group

As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

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7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

Final Thoughts

If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

More Tips on How to Reinvent Yourself

Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

Reference

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