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The Smarter And More Independent You Are, The More Obstacles You Have When Finding Love

The Smarter And More Independent You Are, The More Obstacles You Have When Finding Love

In a world of more demands and faster possibilities it is interesting to find that many smart and independent person are stepping up to the table and making a name for themselves. While for us it becomes an exciting platform to connect other intellectuals and be counted as one, it has become more difficult to replicate such excellent performance in our lives. Doing well to examine this subject carefully, here are 12 reasons why being smart and independent can pose a threat in getting the love we deserve.

You think love is predictable

Being smart makes you very thoughtful and extra cautious or incisive on every decision you make. You are asking yourself what the risk factors are and why you should tolerate this person or that person. With love you simply have to let yourself swim in it.

You don’t have any guidebook to be in love

You can teach Mathematics, English Language or philosophy. But love is not a subject that you simply teach. It has to be experienced. Many smart and independent are stuck with learning and passing through the books that they do not understand that there is no guidebook to being in love.

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There is no consistency with love

You cannot be consistent with love. For smart and independent people they want something they can battle and win. But with love it is not about winning but about how to learn to compromise every now and then.

The standards become too high

The higher your standards the more difficult it is to have more options and open chances to be in love. Smart and independent people think that they deserve simply the best or excellence. But even excellence and quality is rare.

You don’t make love a top priority

Smart and independent people do not view love as a top priority. They are focused on other areas of life that makes them ignore the importance of love.

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You have become so independent

We all have gotten stuck with the demands of this world that it is more of survival than tolerance. Being independent have made you live with yourself rather than seek out relationships with other people.

There is no appreciation of the adventure love provides

You are so perturbed with every day demands and how you can show the world how smart you are that you forget the simplicity that does exist in love. You have to be willing to go on an adventure when it comes to love, if not you can get stuck with being independent.

You don’t want to be seen as easy

You prefer to appear solid and formidable. Even if you are going to be a captive of love you want it to be one that makes a difference and that makes the process challenging for the other person.

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It takes two

Well, being smart and independent is not a simple requirement to be in love. Looking at the big picture it is not about you, it is about two. Smart and independent are always seeing love from a singular perspective.

It takes patience

The major question is that how many smart and independent people out there will be willing to be patient and stay the long haul when they are so used to getting what they want faster than the average person because of their intellect or energy.

You can only connect with someone who has similarities with your personalities

Most times you find it difficult to be with someone who doesn’t show interests and similarities like you. Smart and independent want to be surrounded with people who are like them. And in our society this may be really selective.

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You are analytic

It is harder to be in love and rely on analysis during the process. Smart and independent people are analytic and follow a stringent rule of accomplishing goals. Falling in love is not a goal anyways, but a way of life.

Featured photo credit: Kiselev Andrey Valerevich via shutterstock.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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