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The Smarter And More Independent You Are, The More Obstacles You Have When Finding Love

The Smarter And More Independent You Are, The More Obstacles You Have When Finding Love

In a world of more demands and faster possibilities it is interesting to find that many smart and independent person are stepping up to the table and making a name for themselves. While for us it becomes an exciting platform to connect other intellectuals and be counted as one, it has become more difficult to replicate such excellent performance in our lives. Doing well to examine this subject carefully, here are 12 reasons why being smart and independent can pose a threat in getting the love we deserve.

You think love is predictable

Being smart makes you very thoughtful and extra cautious or incisive on every decision you make. You are asking yourself what the risk factors are and why you should tolerate this person or that person. With love you simply have to let yourself swim in it.

You don’t have any guidebook to be in love

You can teach Mathematics, English Language or philosophy. But love is not a subject that you simply teach. It has to be experienced. Many smart and independent are stuck with learning and passing through the books that they do not understand that there is no guidebook to being in love.

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There is no consistency with love

You cannot be consistent with love. For smart and independent people they want something they can battle and win. But with love it is not about winning but about how to learn to compromise every now and then.

The standards become too high

The higher your standards the more difficult it is to have more options and open chances to be in love. Smart and independent people think that they deserve simply the best or excellence. But even excellence and quality is rare.

You don’t make love a top priority

Smart and independent people do not view love as a top priority. They are focused on other areas of life that makes them ignore the importance of love.

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You have become so independent

We all have gotten stuck with the demands of this world that it is more of survival than tolerance. Being independent have made you live with yourself rather than seek out relationships with other people.

There is no appreciation of the adventure love provides

You are so perturbed with every day demands and how you can show the world how smart you are that you forget the simplicity that does exist in love. You have to be willing to go on an adventure when it comes to love, if not you can get stuck with being independent.

You don’t want to be seen as easy

You prefer to appear solid and formidable. Even if you are going to be a captive of love you want it to be one that makes a difference and that makes the process challenging for the other person.

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It takes two

Well, being smart and independent is not a simple requirement to be in love. Looking at the big picture it is not about you, it is about two. Smart and independent are always seeing love from a singular perspective.

It takes patience

The major question is that how many smart and independent people out there will be willing to be patient and stay the long haul when they are so used to getting what they want faster than the average person because of their intellect or energy.

You can only connect with someone who has similarities with your personalities

Most times you find it difficult to be with someone who doesn’t show interests and similarities like you. Smart and independent want to be surrounded with people who are like them. And in our society this may be really selective.

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You are analytic

It is harder to be in love and rely on analysis during the process. Smart and independent people are analytic and follow a stringent rule of accomplishing goals. Falling in love is not a goal anyways, but a way of life.

Featured photo credit: Kiselev Andrey Valerevich via shutterstock.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on June 19, 2019

6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

I’ve stood on the edge of my own personal cliffs many times. Each time I jumped, something different happened. There were risks that started off great, but eventually faded. There were risks that left me falling until I hit the ground. There were risks that started slow, but built into massive successes.

Every risk is different, but every risk is the same. You need to have some fundamentals ready before you jump, but not too many.

It wouldn’t be a risk if you knew everything that was about to happen, would it? Here’re 6 ways to be a successful risk taker.

1. Understand That Failure Is Going to Happen a Lot

It’s part of life. Everything we do has failure attached to it. All successful people have stories of massive failure attached to them. Thinking that your risk is going to be pain free and run as smooth as silk is insane.

Expect some pain and failure. Actually, expect a lot of it. Expect the sleepless nights with crazy thoughts of insecurity that leave you trembling under the covers. It’s going to happen, no matter how positive you are about the risk you are about to take.

When failure hits, the only options are to keep going or quit. If you expect falling into a meadow of flowers and frolicking unicorns, then you’re going to immediately quit once you realize that getting to that meadow requires you to go through a rock filled cave filled with hungry bats.

2. Trust the Muse

Writing a story isn’t a big risk. It’s really just a risk on my time. So when I start writing a story, I’m scared it will be time wasted. Of course, it never really is. Even if the story doesn’t turn out fabulous, I still practiced.

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When I’ve taken risks in my life, the successful ones always seemed to happen when I followed the muse. Steven Pressfield describes the muse,

“The Muse demands depth. Shallow does not work for her. If we’re seeking her help, we can’t stay in the kiddie end. When we work, we have to go hard and go deep.”

The muse is a goddess who wants our attention and wants us to work on our passion.

If you’re taking a risk in anything, it’s assumed that there is some passion built up behind that risk. That passion, deep inside you, is the muse. Trust it, focus on it, listen to it.

The most successful articles and stories I write are the ones I’ve focused all my attention on. There were no interruptions during their creative development. I didn’t check my phone or go watch my Twitter feed. I was fully engaged in my work.

Trust the muse, focus your attention on your risk, let the ideas and path develop themselves, and leave the distractions at the side of the road.

3. Remember to Be Authentic

Taking a risk and then turning into something you’re not, is only going to lead to disaster. Whether you are risking a new relationship or new opportunity, you must be yourself throughout the entire process.

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How many times have you acted like you loved something just because the men or woman you just started going out with loved it?

For example, I’m not an office worker. I have an incredibly hard time working in a confined timeline (ie. 9-5). That’s why I write. I can do it whenever the mood strikes, I don’t have somebody breathing down my neck, telling me that I’m five minutes late, or missed a comma somewhere. I don’t have to walk on eggshells wondering if what I’m writing will get me fired or make me lose a promotion. I can just be myself, period.

One girlfriend didn’t understand that. She believed solely in the 9-5 motto, specifically something in human resources because that was a very stable job. I was scared for my future, but I stuck with the relationship because of my own insecurities and acted like I would do it to make her happy.

Here’s a tip: NEVER take away from your happiness to make somebody else satisfied (note I didn’t say happy).

Making somebody else happy will make you happy. Doing something to satisfy somebody is murder on your soul.

4. Don’t Take Any Risks While You’re Not Clearheaded

I’d been considering the risk for a couple weeks. It all sounded good. I was 22 and I could be rich in a couple of years. That’s what they were selling me, anyways.

One night, while at a house party with some friends, I found myself at a computer. A couple of my friends were standing nearby and asked me what I was doing. I told them I was considering starting my own business and it was only going to cost me $1,500.

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Of course, when a bunch of drunk people are surrounded by more drunk people, things get enthusiastic. It sounded like the best business venture in the world to everybody, including me. So I signed up and gave them my credit card number.

A few painful months and close to $4,000 dollars lost later, I quit the business. I was young and fell into the pyramid scheme trap. It was an expensive drunk decision.

Drinking heavily and making decisions has a proven track record of failure. So when you have something important to decide, don’t let your emotions take over your brain.

5. Fully Understand What You’re Risking

It was the start of my baseball comeback. I got a tryout with a professional scout and killed it. After the tryout, he talked to my girlfriend and myself, making sure we understood I would be gone for up to 6 months at a time. That strain on the relationship could be tough.

We understood. I left to play ball, chose to stay in the city I played in, and a year later we broke up. Not because of baseball, see point 3 above. Taking big risks can have massive impacts on everything in your life from relationships to money. Know what you’re risking before you take the risk.

If you believe the risk will be worth it or you have the support you need from your family, then go ahead and make the leap.

You can get more guidance on how to take calculated risks from this article: How to Take Calculated Risk to Achieve More and Become Successful

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6. Remember This Is Your One Shot Only

As far as we know officially, this is our one shot at life, so why not take some risks?

The top thing people are saddened by on their deathbeds are these regrets. They wish they did more, asked that girl in the coffee shop out, spoke out when they should have, or did what they were passionate about.

Don’t regret. Learn and experience. Live. Take the risks you believe in. Be yourself and make the world a better place.

Now go ahead, take that risk and be successful at it!

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Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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