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Small Signs That He’s The One You Can Grow Old With

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Small Signs That He’s The One You Can Grow Old With

There are giveaway signs in every relationship that a couple are destined to be together -that without a doubt they will grow old together. These giveaways can be small gestures, subtle behaviors – nothing remarkable at first glance – but so meaningful when we take a closer look.

It’s not the hotel rooms and fancy presents that suggest the longevity of a relationship but the sweet moments shared at the breakfast table or in the bathroom first thing in the morning as you both rush out to work.

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Here are some examples of some everyday signals that tell you this man is for the long road.

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1. He’s the first person you look for when you get big news – you can’t wait for his reaction.

2. You guys still hold hands in public after one year together.

3. You’re happy to wash his smelly gym gear.

4. If he doesn’t text all day it’s not a big deal – you miss hearing from him but you know he’s busy.

5. He very gently clips your toe nails for you.

6. You massage his back after his stressful day even though you’re tired yourself.

7. He remembers the anniversary of your first date and always marks the occasion.

8. When you’re out together he only looks at you – he has no interest in anyone else.

9. You finish his sentences for him and he doesn’t mind.

10. Sometimes you answer the question that he’s just about to ask.

11. Other times you know when he’s going to call you or he knows when you’re going to call him.

12. You always prepare the veg and he does the meat. That’s just how you roll.

13. You laugh at the same things and at the same time.

14. He pretends not to notice when you haven’t shaved your legs.

15. You always find what he’s looking for. Glasses, bag, jacket he knows you’ve got him covered.

16. You leave out a towel for him when he’s in the shower.

17. He just smiles when your cooking goes horribly wrong yet again.

18. He cuddles up to you in your PJ’s – you’re always attractive to him.

19. When you’re out together you know from your body language what the other one is thinking.

20. He always satisfies you in bed – or at least tries his best.

21. He tries to stay awake after sex to keep you company.

22. You love to cook for him even though you know you’re rubbish at it.

23. You use the toilet when he’s in the shower – no biggy.

24. You don’t mind picking up his smelly socks.

25. He’s cool with buying your tampons.

26. He’s upset when you’re upset but he stays strong for you.

27. He always knows when you need a hug.

28. You always know when he needs a hug.

29. You still kiss a lot even after one year together.

30. You laugh when he hangs a picture crooked.

31. You brag about him to your Dad on the phone.

32. He brags about you to his Mom on the phone.

33. He cooks every Sunday and lets you have a long hot soak.

34. You play with your technology ever Sunday afternoon lying together on the couch.

35. He’s happy to spend time with your friends – he considers them his friends.

36. He won’t watch HOMELAND until you can watch it together.

37. He stands up for you when the neighbor gives you grief for scratching her car.

38. You understand each others bodies – you don’t need to talk about it now, it just works.

39. You reassure him when he lays the new floor all wrong.

40. He still insists on paying for dinner even after two years together.

41. You don’t tell him how bad his dodgy haircut really is.

42. He licks his lips after your terrible lasagne – he even has second helpings.

43. You laugh half way through an argument and he joins you – you can’t stay angry at each other for long.

44. You don’t like being apart for more than a night and you call and text constantly.

45. You haven’t fancied anyone else since you met him.

46. You still buy each other small gifts for no particular reason.

47. You love to holiday together.

As you can see there are lots of tell tale signs that you will grow old with this special man in your life. Maybe your partner is always looking out for you or you have fallen into comfortable habits that you would miss were they not there?

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Falling in love with the right person is one of the best feelings imaginable but growing into a deeper love that is based in understanding and trust is the most reassuring feeling there is.

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When you’ve got the man you will grow old with you will know – why ? Because he’s a legend.

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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