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Read This If You Don’t Want To Miss Your True Love.

Read This If You Don’t Want To Miss Your True Love.

It has captivated men and women in every era, on every continent, from every culture. It has caused wars and ended them, it has brought the deepest despair and the highest joy. It is free, but it costs absolutely everything. More than anything, it gives hope. Two out of every three songs is written about it. Countless amounts of literature has been devoted to its topic.What are we talking about? Love.

So hard to find and maintain, but once attained it is a priceless treasure. Here are some of the reasons that so many miss out on finding their true love, and hopefully they will help you avoid the same mistakes in your relationship journeys.

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“There is one true love out there waiting for me.”

I call this the “Disney Syndrome.” Too often people miss the love of their life because they are looking for the wrong kind of guy or girl–the one of their dreams. I am an engaged man–to the most amazing woman in the world: Kelsey–and I wish I could tell you our whole story because it is beautiful. But it is not a Disney fairytale. I met Kels my sophomore year of college (her freshman year) and quickly fell for her. Long story short, she friend-zoned me because I wasn’t the kind of guy she was looking for. We didn’t talk for two years. But through a series of events (long story short, again), we rekindled that flame and now we are getting married in April. Disney fairytale? No. But romantic and perfect? Absolutely. So stop looking for the “perfect person” because he/she doesn’t exist. Look for the man or woman who brings out the best AND the worst in you–the best because he/she makes you better and the worst because the most loving relationships sharpen each other.

“Love is all happiness”

Love is one of the greatest joys, but people seem to ignore how hard it is. Love is not simply the feelings that arise when you think of that special someone–love is an action, a choice. Love is intentional and requires effort. Love is the greatest investment–it requires you to put time and effort into it, but the rewards are worth so much more.

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“With my true love, romance will never die”

Love occurs between two people. Did you catch that? Love happens between two HUMANS. No human being is perfect. We hurt each other–intentionally and unintentionally. We do and say dumb things. We make mistakes. The pitfall of many doomed couples is that they are looking for someone who will make them feel giddy constantly, so they ditch each other when things get hard or arguments stifle the romance. But the best romance is fought for; the best romance is made.

“My true love will have everything in common with me”

Although it is true that similarities can draw couples closer, differences are what sustain relationships. If you dated or married someone exactly like you, it would be boring and awful. Nobody wants to date themselves (okay, maybe Donald Trump…). The spice of relationships is the differences between each of you. Kels is more artistic and outgoing while I am more detail-oriented, organized and less outgoing. My life was fine before her, but with her (and because of her differences in personality and tastes in activities) I have adventures that I never would have on my own. People are meant to complement each other–I fill in where she lacks and she graciously does the same for me. Together we make a whole.

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“My true love will complete me”

This is where many relationships fall off the rails. This statement makes the underlying assumption that another person is capable of fulfilling all of your wants and needs. This is so far from the truth and terribly unfair to your significant other. This assumption puts unrealistic pressure on your significant other to satisfy all of your desires. No one person can do that. It is impossible.

A fulfilling life is more dynamic that simply having another person fix it for you. Having a partner can make life so much better, but you must have goals and dreams outside of your relationship. Do other things–ride a bicycle, learn magic tricks, do yoga–ANYTHING that brings satisfaction outside of your significant other. If all you are doing is taking from your true love, you have no new love to give back to them–and eventually they won’t be able to meet your unrealistic standards for them.

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Featured photo credit: james j8246 via flickr.com

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Austen Broome

Social Media/Public Relations Manager and Copywriter for Liquid Creative

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Last Updated on December 3, 2019

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

There are so many lessons I wish I had learned while I was young enough to appreciate and apply them. The thing with wisdom, and often with life lessons in general, is that they’re learned in retrospect, long after we needed them. The good news is that other people can benefit from our experiences and the lessons we’ve learned.

Here’re 10 important life lessons you should learn early on:

1. Money Will Never Solve Your Real Problems

Money is a tool; a commodity that buys you necessities and some nice “wants,” but it is not the panacea to your problems.

There are a great many people who are living on very little, yet have wonderfully full and happy lives… and there are sadly a great many people are living on quite a lot, yet have terribly miserable lives.

Money can buy a nice home, a great car, fabulous shoes, even a bit of security and some creature comforts, but it cannot fix a broken relationship, or cure loneliness, and the “happiness” it brings is only fleeting and not the kind that really and truly matters. Happiness is not for sale. If you’re expecting the “stuff” you can buy to “make it better,” you will never be happy.

2. Pace Yourself

Often when we’re young, just beginning our adult journey we feel as though we have to do everything at once. We need to decide everything, plan out our lives, experience everything, get to the top, find true love, figure out our life’s purpose, and do it all at the same time.

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Slow down—don’t rush into things. Let your life unfold. Wait a bit to see where it takes you, and take time to weigh your options. Enjoy every bite of food, take time to look around you, let the other person finish their side of the conversation. Allow yourself time to think, to mull a bit.

Taking action is critical. Working towards your goals and making plans for the future is commendable and often very useful, but rushing full-speed ahead towards anything is a one-way ticket to burnout and a good way to miss your life as it passes you by.

3. You Can’t Please Everyone

“I don’t know the secret to success, but the secret to failure is trying to please everyone” – Bill Cosby.

You don’t need everyone to agree with you or even like you. It’s human nature to want to belong, to be liked, respected and valued, but not at the expense of your integrity and happiness. Other people cannot give you the validation you seek. That has to come from inside.

Speak up, stick to your guns, assert yourself when you need to, demand respect, stay true to your values.

4. Your Health Is Your Most Valuable Asset

Health is an invaluable treasure—always appreciate, nurture, and protect it. Good health is often wasted on the young before they have a chance to appreciate it for what it’s worth.

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We tend to take our good health for granted, because it’s just there. We don’t have to worry about it, so we don’t really pay attention to it… until we have to.

Heart disease, bone density, stroke, many cancers—the list of many largely preventable diseases is long, so take care of your health now, or you’ll regret it later on.

5. You Don’t Always Get What You Want

“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon

No matter how carefully you plan and how hard you work, sometimes things just don’t work out the way you want them to… and that’s okay.

We have all of these expectations; predetermined visions of what our “ideal” life will look like, but all too often, that’s not the reality of the life we end up with. Sometimes our dreams fail and sometimes we just change our minds mid-course. Sometimes we have to flop to find the right course and sometimes we just have to try a few things before we find the right direction.

6. It’s Not All About You

You are not the epicenter of the universe. It’s very difficult to view the world from a perspective outside of your own, since we are always so focused on what’s happening in our own lives. What do I have to do today? What will this mean for me, for my career, for my life? What do I want?

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It’s normal to be intensely aware of everything that’s going on in your own life, but you need to pay as much attention to what’s happening around you, and how things affect other people in the world as you do to your own life. It helps to keep things in perspective.

7. There’s No Shame in Not Knowing

No one has it all figured out. Nobody has all the answers. There’s no shame in saying “I don’t know.” Pretending to be perfect doesn’t make you perfect. It just makes you neurotic to keep up the pretense of manufactured perfection.

We have this idea that there is some kind of stigma or shame in admitting our limitations or uncertainly, but we can’t possibly know everything. We all make mistakes and mess up occasionally. We learn as we go, that’s life.

Besides—nobody likes a know-it-all. A little vulnerability makes you human and oh so much more relatable.

8. Love Is More Than a Feeling; It’s a Choice

That burst of initial exhilaration, pulse quickening love and passion does not last long. But that doesn’t mean long-lasting love is not possible.

Love is not just a feeling; it’s a choice that you make every day. We have to choose to let annoyances pass, to forgive, to be kind, to respect, to support, to be faithful.

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Relationships take work. Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it’s incredibly hard. It is up to us to choose how we want to act, think and speak in a relationship.

9. Perspective Is a Beautiful Thing

Typically, when we’re worried or upset, it’s because we’ve lost perspective. Everything that is happening in our lives seems so big, so important, so do or die, but in the grand picture, this single hiccup often means next to nothing.

The fight we’re having, the job we didn’t get, the real or imagined slight, the unexpected need to shift course, the thing we wanted, but didn’t get. Most of it won’t matter 20, 30, 40 years from now. It’s hard to see long term when all you know is short term, but unless it’s life-threatening, let it go, and move on.

10. Don’t Take Anything for Granted

We often don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone: that includes your health, your family and friends, your job, the money you have or think you will have tomorrow.

When you’re young, it seems that your parents will always be there, but they won’t. You think you have plenty of time to get back in touch with your old friends or spend time with new ones, but you don’t. You have the money to spend, or you think you’ll have it next month, but you might not.

Nothing in your life is not guaranteed to be there tomorrow, including those you love.

This is a hard life lesson to learn, but it may be the most important of all: Life can change in an instant. Make sure you appreciate what you have, while you still have it.

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Featured photo credit: Ben Eaton via unsplash.com

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