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Things I Wish I Could Tell The Man I Thought I Would Grow Old With

Things I Wish I Could Tell The Man I Thought I Would Grow Old With

The early days of a wondrous new relationship tend to be filled with glee and magic–and incomparable hope. Ecstatic and exhilarated, we knit together futures we’re certain will unfold. We close the door to doubt and open our arms wide to love, opportunity, and the concept of together forever. And in that space, time dissolves, because we have all we need of it in the world.

So when the strength of a bond frays or a relationship ends tragically–death, divorce, infidelity–we shuffle forward in the dark, trying to recapture lost time, feeling the weight of regret and dashed chances. There are so many things we haven’t experienced together yet, we think. There are so many things left unsaid.

I had an inkling that my marriage was doomed to fail the moment I begged for marble countertops and ended up with brown granite instead. By then, however, we had tied the knot and I was three months pregnant with our child. An architect by trade, my husband claimed to know it all, from the interior structure of our to-be-remodeled home to the inner workings of my heart. As an alpha female who wasn’t used to yielding to someone else when it came to life’s decision, both big and small, the clashes between us grew so vast that they ultimately became as irreparable as a severed bridge. I was left bitter and resentful when I renounced trying to steer the ship. He, an introvert, was left bewildered and cold by the innate differences in our personalities.

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After time partially healed the pain caused by our separation, those things I left unsaid bubbled to the surface with such urgency I could hardly put down my pen. If you, too, are going through a divorce or a separation, know that it’s never too late to speak from that place he or she once touched: your heart.

You expressed your love in ways that took me time to understand.

Quiet and seemingly removed, my husband demonstrated that love can be given in silence and adoration in stillness; it is the sheer presence that counts.

I learned life’s greatest lessons from you.

Without my husband’s incredible influence of me, I would still be searching for someone to save me. He taught me that it is I–and only I–who can save myself.

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Love knows no boundaries.

Geographically, on paper, and to our friends and family, we may be apart. But true love, even if it doesn’t function in the traditional sense, persists. Such fondness doesn’t vanish; it only shifts.

Carpe Diem.

Through our separation, I’ve realized that to eliminate “tomorrow” from one’s vocabulary is to live life to the fullest. Seize what you have today, and love with all of your might–for nothing but a calendar can guarantee tomorrow.

I adored the child inside of you.

So focused on his career and his role as a father, my husband wasn’t inclined to let loose often. But when he did, such vividness and humor and cheer emerged. He might have been embarrassed when this side came out, but I relished every minute of it.

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There was such grace in your small gestures.

From making me coffee in the morning to ensuring I had enough books beside my bed when ill, my husband did a number of little things to elate me, comfort me, and demonstrate his love for me. Some of his kindnesses were left unacknowledged, and yet they never went unnoticed.

You’re still as attractive as the day I met you.

Time can ravish us, time can change us. But the beauty we see in our former partners–that essence; that light–never fades.

You know me better than anyone else.

There are few greater comforts than knowing that your love—whether he or she is part of your past or remains in your presence—knows and adores you through and through. My husband knew my secrets, my passions, my pet peeves, my moods. And there is tremendous beauty in realizing that, at times, no explanation is needed. You are who you are, he sometimes seemed to say in silence, and that is more than enough.

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I should have complimented you more often.

An athlete, a wordsmith, a designer, a fabulous father, my husband possesses myriad gifts that I should have praised more often. Were I to go back in time, I would have pointed out with greater frequency the talents of his that I so deeply admired.

I should have respected the way you argued.

While I raged, he disengaged—a pulling away that found me madder and more frustrated. I cannot change who I am, but going forward, I can temper my ire—and understand that we all navigate disputes differently.

I will cherish our memories together for life.

The first time I saw him. Christmas mornings with our daughter. Ice-skating at Lake Tahoe. Dining at five-star restaurants around the world. Bumping hips in the kitchen as we cooked. Laughing over a good movie, spooning in bed, toasting our glasses. All of these, and more, I will reflect back upon with a bittersweet mix of joy and nostalgia, always holding them near and dear to my heart.

I’m sorry.

When we were young, I thought my husband and I were indestructible. Despite our differences of opinion over innumerable issues. I apologize for the errors I made, the words I can’t undo, the pain I created. I want to tell him that I refuse to admit defeat, but I do accept that our time together has run its course; that I will always cheer him on from the sidelines. And from there, I say, thank you. You were my gift, my partner, my best friend, my goodbye.

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Last Updated on October 18, 2018

50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

Life is filled with highs and lows —happiness and struggles that will test your resilience and integrity, push you to overcome challenges and leave you with lessons that will make you even stronger on your way up.

It’s the way you feel and think about yourself, including your expectations and beliefs about what is possible to you, greatly determines everything that happens to you.

It all starts with your thoughts. When you change your thoughts, you transform the quality of your life. (Right, Nancy’s story is a typical example!)

Below is a list of the best motivational quotes to inspire you to start your day with a blast:

Quotes for self-assurance

1. Don’t downgrade your dream just to fit your reality, upgrade your conviction to match your destiny.

    2. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.

      3. You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.

        4. The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others

          5. You attract what you are, not what you want. If you want great, then be great.

            6. It’s not who you are that holds you behind, it’s who you think your are not.

              Quotes about positivity

              7. Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right.

                8. You should never regret anything in life. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it is experience.

                  9. Falling down is an accident, staying down is a choice.

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                    10. If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that.

                      11. Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.

                        12. Don’t be afraid to give up the good and go for great.

                          13. Remember that life’s greatest lessons are usually learned from worst times and from the worst mistakes.

                            Quotes for work and success

                            14. Don’t talk, just act. Don’t say, just show. Don’t promise, just prove.

                              15. Never stop doing great just because someone doesn’t give you credit.

                                16. Discipline is doing what needs to be done, even if you don’t want to.

                                  17. Work while they sleep. Learn while they party. Save while they spend. Live like they dream.

                                    18. The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire, not things we fear.

                                      19. Never apologize for having high standards, people who really want to be in your life will rise to meet them.

                                        20. If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.

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                                          21. Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it, time will pass anyway.

                                            22. Don’t fear failure. Fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today.

                                              23. A hill is just another opportunity to leave your competition behind.

                                                24. Don’t quit. You’re already in pain. You’re already hurt. Get a reward from it.

                                                  25. Hustle until you no longer need to introduce yourself.

                                                    26. You didn’t come this far only to come this far.

                                                      27. Be selective in your battles for sometimes peace is better than being right.

                                                        28 If we keep doing what we are doing, we’re going to keep getting what we’re getting.

                                                          29. You will never know your limits until you push yourself to them.

                                                            30. Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do.

                                                              31. The man on top of the mountain didn’t fall there.

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                                                                32. If your dreams don’t scare you, they are not big enough.

                                                                  33. If you can’t handle stress, you won’t manage success.

                                                                    34. Don’t be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams.

                                                                      35. Don’t mistake silence for weakness. Smart people don’t plan big moves out loud.

                                                                        36. Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

                                                                          37. Obsessed is the word the lazy use to describe dedicated.

                                                                            38. You become who you spend your time with.

                                                                              39. Be stubborn about your goals and flexible about your methods.

                                                                                40. Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.

                                                                                  41. If you don’t build your dreams, someone else will hire you to build theirs.

                                                                                    42. Between stimulus and response is our greatest power –the freedom to choose.

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                                                                                      43. What comes easy won’t last, what lasts won’t come easy.

                                                                                        44. Don’t limit your challenges, challenge your limits.

                                                                                          45. Work until your idols become your rivals.

                                                                                            Quotes about money

                                                                                            46. Formal education will make you a living. Self-education will make you a fortune.

                                                                                              47. I create new enemies every day, it’s called business.

                                                                                                48. When you have a Million Dollar vision, don’t surround yourself with 1 cent minds.

                                                                                                  49. You can’t get rich thinking poor.

                                                                                                    50. Doing what is comfortable is rarely profitable.

                                                                                                      51. If you can count your money, work harder.

                                                                                                        If you find yourself feeling lost and frustrated, it’s never too late to change things up. Check out this guide:

                                                                                                        How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

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