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12 Everyday Situations That Introverts Are Especially Good At Handling

12 Everyday Situations That Introverts Are Especially Good At Handling

Despite the growing conversation surrounding introverts, the group is still commonly misunderstood. As a fellow introvert, I understand the misconceptions that we have to constantly battle. I’m not shy because I’m introverted and I do enjoy socializing, just in a different setting than the standard societal norm.

It can be hard for society to understand things an introvert might naturally be good at, simply because they are introverted. Clearly, most of our societal constructs cater to the outgoing extrovert – our educational system, open-concept office spaces and loud bars for example, are built for them.

While it’s true that introverts can have a vast skill set like anyone else, there are a few everyday situations where we bring key strengths that extroverts will most likely lack.

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1. Just because we’re not talking doesn’t mean we’re not engaged.

We like to listen and observe more than anything else, so that usually means we are acutely aware of our environment. Because of this, we are almost always in tune with our surroundings, regardless of how little we interact with them. As a result, we can also synthesize the information that we are constantly taking in, making connections that extroverts may otherwise miss.

2. We don’t like small talk because we prefer deeper conversations.

I can speak from experience on this one – I’m just not good at small talk. It’s forced, flat, and often more painful than anything else. I prefer to say something when there is something important to say. But sometimes, small talk cannot be avoided. As a result, I’ve learned over the years that asking questions to steer the conversation to a deeper level. This direction can help unleash a more emotional connection and lead to some really great conversations.

3. We may not network with everyone at the office mixer but that’s only because we crave authenticity in all of our interactions, business or personal.

Networking can be stressful for introverts, after all, isn’t it just small talk with the end goal of advancing your career? While an extrovert may prioritize knowing everyone on a superficial level by the end of the night, introverts will be happy to have had a few conversations with others based on a more solid, meaningful connection.

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4. Even though we tend to avoid confrontation with friends or family, we are actually the best ones to execute it.

Introverts are good listeners, and oftentimes, someone who needs to be confronted is acting out for a reason. Since introverts are skilled at listening and observing, we can understand why the situation is happening and use this insight to help craft a plan that will satisfy everyone involved.

5. While we sometimes screen calls from relatives, we often thrive at the actual family get together.

Introverts tend to avoid chatting on the phone because it distracts us from our current thought or project and we really prefer to catch up in person. Small, intimate groups are the ideal social situations for us, so naturally at family gatherings introverts are at their best.

6. We might dread an invitation to a big party, but we’ll happily accept an invite to dinner with a few, close friends.

Again, since introverts prefer small gatherings, we often excel in this setting and have the ability to draw everyone who’s present in.

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7. Even though we don’t do well with chit-chat, we do have great presentation skills.

Introverts have been known to be great public speakers, whether it’s on stage to a crowd of five hundred, a corporate board meeting, or pitching to a potential investor. We play to our strengths and prepare extensively. While we might not look forward to the meet and greet afterwards, we don’t shy away from the spotlight and know how to present ourselves when it counts, and to a crowd of any size.

8. We may be reserved at the office but only because we are quietly trying to think about how the business works and see connections that spark new ideas.

Introverts have the tendency to keep to themselves at the office but that doesn’t mean they aren’t thinking of the entire organization. It’s actually quite the opposite since introverts are led by a different internal compass when it comes to careers: they try to build beyond themselves.

9. Our silent pauses in conversations mean we are taking the time to think before we speak.

This habit alone is the reason introverts have earned their reputation as great listeners. We reflect internally first before speaking, instead of thinking out loud like our extrovert counterparts. So while this may add to the perception of introverts being shy or quiet, it just means that when we do speak, our words can have more thought, and sometimes more impact, behind them.

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10. Since we crave solitude and enjoy alone time to recharge, it often means we don’t succumb to the mood of our environment.

We have a lower sensitivity to external rewards than extroverts do, which means we’re pretty comfortable with our own thoughts and maintaining our own moods. This quiet energy is also good for business – if your office is noisy and chaotic, your calming presence can radiate to others in the workplace and ultimately, be a boost to low office morale for example.

11. Just because we aren’t overly assertive, doesn’t mean we don’t have good negotiation skills.

We’ve been conditioned to think that in order to be a great negotiator, we need to be good at intimidation. But our ability to asking probing questions, listen and observe people’s reactions to suggestions makes our negotiation skills great. We tend to empathize a little better than our peers, so we can see both sides well which inevitably helps the process go smoother.

12. While we can be distracted by too much stimuli in our environment, we notice details that may escape others.

Research has shown that introverts exhibit increased brain activity when processing visual information, which gives us an edge in our eye for detail. This is also the reason that many introverts gravitate towards more detail-oriented career choices like financial clerks, video editors and writers.

As an introvert, may not feel like you have a lot of advantages in life but you really do. You are just as well-suited as your extrovert counterparts to handle what life throws at you, but you possess a few more enviable qualities that really help you ace everyday situations.

Featured photo credit: RyanMcGuire via pixabay.com

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Jennee Rasavong

Freelance Content Marketer

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Last Updated on July 8, 2020

How to Say No When You Say Yes Too Often

How to Say No When You Say Yes Too Often

Do you say yes so often that you realize you aren’t really happy about this, wondering how to say no to people?

For years, I was a serial people pleaser. Known as someone who would step up, I would gladly make time especially when it came to volunteering for certain causes. I proudly carried this role all through grade school, college, even through law school. For years, I thought saying “no” meant I would disappoint a good friend or someone I respected.

But somewhere along the way, I noticed I wasn’t quite living my life. Instead, I seem to have created a schedule that was a strange combination of meeting the expectations of others, what I thought I should be doing, and some of what I actually wanted to do. The result? I had a packed schedule that left me overwhelmed and unfulfilled.

It took a long while but I learned the art of saying no. Saying ‘no’ meant I no longer catered fully to everyone else’s needs and could make more room for what I really wanted to do. Instead of cramming too much in, I chose to pursue what really mattered. I started to manage my time more around my own needs and interests. When that happened, I became a lot happier. And guess what? I hardly disappointed anyone.

The Importance of Saying No

When you learn the art of saying ‘no,’ you begin to look at the world differently. Rather than seeing all of the things you could or should be doing (and aren’t doing), you start to look at how to say yes to what’s important.

In other words, you aren’t just reacting to what life throws at you. You seek the opportunities that move you to where you want to be.

Successful people aren’t afraid to say no. Oprah Winfrey considered one of the most successful women in the world confessed that it was much later in life when she learned how to say no. Even after she had become internationally famous, she felt she had to say yes to virtually everything. It was only when she realized that after years of struggling with saying no, I finally got to this question: “What do I want?”

Being able to say no also helps you manage your time better.

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Warren Buffett views no as essential to his success. He said,

“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

When I made ‘no’ a part of my toolbox, I drove more of my own success focusing on fewer things and doing them well.

How We Are Pressured to Say Yes

It’s no wonder a lot of us find it hard to say ‘no.’

From an early age, we are conditioned to say ‘yes.’ We said yes probably hundreds of time in order to graduate from high school and then get into college. We said yes to find work. We said yes get a promotion. We said yes to find love and then yes again to stay in a relationship. We said yes to find and keep friends.

We say yes because it feels better to help someone. We say yes because it can seem like the right thing to do. We say yes because we think that is key to success. And we say yes because the request might come from someone who is hard to resist like the boss.

And that’s not all. The pressure to say yes doesn’t just come from others. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves. At work, we say yes because we compare ourselves to others who seem to be doing more than we are. Outside of work, we say yes because we feel guilty we aren’t doing enough to spend time with family or friends.

The message no matter where we turn is nearly always, “You really could be doing more.” The result? When people ask us for our time, we are heavily conditioned to say yes.

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How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty

Deciding to add the word ‘no’ to your toolbox is no small thing. Perhaps you already say ‘no’ but not as much as you would like. Maybe you have an instinct that if you were to learn the art of ‘no’ that you could finally create more time for things you care about. But let’s be honest, using the word ‘no’ doesn’t come easily for many people.

The 3 Rules of Thumbs for Saying No

1. You Need to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Let’s face it. It is hard to say no. Setting boundaries around your time especially you haven’t done it much in the past will feel awkward.

2. You Are the Air Traffic Controller of Your Time

Remember that you are the only one who understands the demands for your time. Think about it, who else knows about all of the demands on your time? No one. Only you are at the center of all of these requests. are the only one that understands what time you really have.

3. Saying ‘No’ Means Saying ‘Yes’ to Something That Matters

When we decide not to do something, it means we can say yes to something else. You have a unique opportunity to decide how you spend your precious time.

6 Ways to Start Saying No

Incorporating that little word ‘no’ into your life can be transformational. Turning some things down will mean you can open doors to what really matters. Here are some essential tips to learn the art of no:

1. Check in With Your Obligation Meter

One of the biggest challenges to saying ‘no’ is a feeling of obligation. Do you feel you have a responsibility to say yes and worry that saying no reflect poorly on you?

Ask yourself whether you truly have the duty to say yes. Check your assumptions or beliefs about whether you carry the responsibility to say yes. Turn it around and instead ask what duty you owe to yourself.

2. Resist the Fear of Missing out (FOMO)

Do you have a fear of missing out (FOMO)? FOMO can follow us around in so many ways. At work, we volunteer our time because we fear we won’t move ahead. In our personal lives, we agree to join the crowd because FOMO even while we ourselves aren’t enjoying the fun.

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Check in with yourself. Are you saying yes because of FOMO or because you really want to say yes? More often than not, running after fear doesn’t make us feel better.

3. Check Your Assumptions About What It Means to Say ‘No’

Do you dread the reaction you will get if you say no? Often, we say ‘yes’ because we worry about how others will respond or the consequences of saying no or because of the consequences. We may be afraid to disappoint others or think we will lose respect from others. We often forget how much we are disappointing ourselves along the way.

Keep in mind that saying ‘no’ can be exactly what is needed to send the right message that you have limited time. In the tips below, you will see how to communicate your no in a gentle and loving way. You might disappoint someone initially but drawing a boundary can bring you the freedom you need so that you can give freely of yourself when you truly want to.

4. When the Request Comes In, Sit on It

Sometimes, when we are in the moment, we instinctively agree. The request might make sense at first. Or we typically have said yes to this request in the past.

Give yourself a little time to reflect on whether you really have the time, or can do the task properly. You may decide the best option is to say ‘no.’ There is no harm in giving yourself the time to decide.

5. Communicate Your ‘No’ with Transparency and Kindness

When you are ready to tell someone no, communicate your decision clearly. The message can be open and honest to ensure the recipient that your reasons have to do with your limited time.

Resist the temptation not to respond or communicate all. But do not feel obligated to provide a lengthy account about why you are saying no.

A clear communication with a short explanation is all that is needed. I have found it useful to tell people that I have many demands and need to be careful with how I allocate my time. I will sometimes say I really appreciate that they came to me and for them to check in again if the opportunity arises another time.

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6. Consider How to Use a Modified ‘No’

If you are under pressure to say yes but want to say no, you may want to consider downgrading a “yes” to a “yes but…” giving you an opportunity to condition your agreement to what works best for you.

Sometimes, the condition can be to do the task but not in the time frame that was originally requested. Or perhaps you can do part of what has been asked.

Final Thoughts

Beginning right now, you can change how you respond to requests for your time. When the request comes in, take yourself off autopilot where you might normally say yes.

Use the request as a fresh request to draw a healthy boundary around your time. Pay particular attention to when you place certain demands on yourself. If you are the one placing the demand on yourself, try to evaluate the demand as if it were coming from somewhere else.

Try it now. Say no to a friend who continues to take advantage of your goodwill. Or, draw the line with a workaholic colleague and tell them you will complete the project but not by working all weekend. Or, tell someone in your family you can’t loan them money again because they never paid you back the last time. You’ll find yourself much happier.

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Featured photo credit: Chris Ainsworth via unsplash.com

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