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5 Great Signs You’ve Fallen In Love With Yourself Like Nobody Else

5 Great Signs You’ve Fallen In Love With Yourself Like Nobody Else

If you’ve ever watched an episode of Ru Paul’s Drag Race (or, binge-watched, much like myself), you’re familiar with the closing lines: “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an Amen?” Amen, indeed.

More often than not, we take ourselves for granted. We forget that we have incredible characteristics that are unique just to ourselves. It’s important to take stock of what makes you, as a person, a prize. Over the course of your life, you may have opportunities to fall in love with a few people. Being the first person you always stay in love with can enhance the love you’ll be able to give to others. Not to mention, make life a whole lot sweeter.

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Here are 5 signs that you’re in love with yourself like nobody else.

1. You rely on your confidence, not cockiness

When I was a child, my mother looked me in the eye and said, “No one is better than you but you are no better than anyone else.” These words have served as one of my life mantras. Confidence is the quality of knowing that you have worth. Therefore, your actions and words are an extension of your worth; they are respected and respectful.

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Cockiness is the quality of acting as if you are better than others. Therefore, your actions and words reflect an ill-mannered attitude and insecurities. Relying on the former is a symbol of recognizing your own value; that you have something good to offer. Confidence allows us to be our best selves. When you operate with confidence, you also enable the people around you to offer the best of themselves. Clear proof that you don’t feel like you’re in competition with anyone but yourself — a loving and wonderful place to be.

2. You are your sturdiest rock

It’s important to value the opinions of your tribe. After all, they care about you and have your heart in mind. However, when you truly love yourself, you may take polls amongst friends and family, but ultimately you choose what’s best for your personal journey — regardless of popular opinion. You can’t have love without trust. Listening to yourself and trusting those interior words is modus operandi for you, because, at your core, you are solid and self-possessed.

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3. You have great inner dialogue

Everyone talks to themselves at one point or another. A fine sign that you love yourself is in the way you use inner dialoging. Many self-help gurus insist that you can change your life for the better simply by being careful with the words you use when speaking to yourself. By adopting encouraging language internally to celebrate even small victories, you’ll be treating yourself like a genuine loved one. As well, really serving the hard truth when things get tough can also uphold your self-loyalty.

4. You don’t pay much attention to what people think about you

We’ve all sought approval from someone before: a parent, a lover, a boss, a friend. However, when you love yourself, you know that the only person you have to impress is you. Life is too short to be held hostage by the judgements of others. As a person who loves yourself unconditionally, you recognize that living up to someone else’s expectations is a life lived for someone else… and you don’t have time for that. Your opinions filter is set on high; you can differentiate constructive criticism from destructive criticism. You take the good, leave the bad, and keep it moving.

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5. You treat yourself well

By this, I don’t mean going on a shopping spree at the closest designer boutique. Rather, you acknowledge that you’re human. You accept 100% of you and embrace all of it. You find perfection in all of your imperfections. You don’t get hung up on your mistakes, but you draw knowledge from them to build yourself up. You respect yourself in every aspect: mentally, physically, and spiritually, by making time to process your thoughts, maintaining your body’s health, and creating balance to harmonize as many layers of your life as you can. Mostly, you enjoy the world around you by allowing yourself to be fascinated, humbled, and invigorated by it as much as possible!

Featured photo credit: stokpic/ed gregory via stokpic.com

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

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