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8 Things Only People Who Have Experienced Traumatic Accidents Can Understand

8 Things Only People Who Have Experienced Traumatic Accidents Can Understand

Every now and then we come across people who have been through terrible trauma. Without fail, we can see that these people possess qualities and characteristics that are admirable and, to say the least, enviable.

They see life through fresh eyes and from a totally different perspective than before.

While life isn’t all easy for accident survivors they do seem to gain insights which are out of reach for the rest of us.

Here’s what they have come to understand:

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1. We Only Have Today

There is no more poignant a lesson to teach us about the value of living in the present than to be in a serious accident.

Facing death changes us and our personalities. People who face terrible challenges usually become stronger and better able to face their new world.

2. We See Beauty All Around Us

Something we don’t notice before a trauma is that beauty is everywhere – it’s in nature, people, children, cities, galleries and so on. There are things worth seeing everywhere we go. Those who have suffered trauma don’t need to be reminded of this – they can see it clearly.

3. We May Need Support For the Rest of Our Lives

Nobody wants to be dependent on others, but it is a saddening fact for many who have serious accidents. This can be frustrating, embarrassing and downright intolerable but eventually the survivor has to accept that they are unable to do some things for themselves and so need the help of others.

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4. We Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

After we’ve been through something really big we don’t worry about the smaller stuff as much. Our outlook on what the smaller stuff is can change too.

Giving an important presentation would have been a big deal at one time but after a horrendous emotional and physical journey the presentation is no longer a big deal – this is a walk in the park for the survivor.

5. We Still Have Challenges – But Now it’s Rewarding Too

Many things may pose as challenges for those of us who have survived accidents: driving a car, speaking, figuring out problems – some things just don’t come as easily anymore.

The silver lining to this cloud is that after such trauma we often realize that every small achievement is a reward in itself. We take great pride in our small wins.

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6. We Cherish Our Family and Friends

Things we once took for granted like the love of those closest to us are embraced after a serious accident. We feel vulnerable and at the mercy of those who care for us.

After an accident we understand that nothing is here ‘forever’ – that everything and everyone moves on sooner or later. This is difficult to accept but helps bring us closer to those that matter most.

7. We Know That Life is Full of Surprises

No one expects to be in a serious accident. One minute everything’s great – the next – bang, your whole life changes. You may be seriously injured or left with difficult memories to deal with.

Only someone who has experienced this can understand how this impacts on your daily life. The unexpected twists can leave someone with a severe sense of uncertainty.

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8. We Fear the Bad Memories Won’t Leave Us

Remembering traumatic accidents can be overwhelming and many need help to overcome these powerful thoughts. However, the darkest times will pass.

Being in a very serious accident is not something we plan for. It’s not something we ever want to happen to us or our loved ones. But rest assured that while recovery is difficult, the survivor understands more about life than many of us do.

They know how precious life is and what’s important and what’s not. The survivor grows stronger everyday and becomes an inspiration to us all. They become the teacher in the end.

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

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