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12 Feelings That People With Depression And Anxiety Are Familiar With

12 Feelings That People With Depression And Anxiety Are Familiar With

Depression and anxiety are extremely difficult to live with, but living with both is actually more common than you may expect. Nearly one half of people who have been diagnosed with depression also suffer from an anxiety disorder.

Everyone has different experiences of depression and anxiety, but many people experience similar day-to-day struggles.

1. Worrying that cancelling plans will end friendships but still being too anxious to actually go

You hate the idea of letting your friends down because they mean so much to you, but sometimes you are just too overwhelmed to leave the house. The idea of socializing sounds like hell – but so does the idea of losing your wonderful friends.

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2. Feeling terrified about failing a test but being too worried to revise properly

All of your revision notes are in front of you, but you can barely stay focused because your mind keeps reminding you that you might fail. After an hour of revising you haven’t learnt anything, but you are super-stressed and near tears.

3. On some days you are too tired to get out of bed and on others you sleep for over 12 hours

On some nights you can’t get to sleep because you are too stressed or worried, and you lay wide awake in bed for hours. On other nights, you fall asleep at 10PM and wake up in the afternoon the next day. Even when you do finally wake up, you just want to curl up under the bed-sheets and hide.

4. When you can’t get out of bed you become stressed about the things you’re not doing

On the days when you can’t get out of bed, you rarely go back to sleep. Instead, you worry about work and the responsibilities that you are missing.

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5. You missed a few events and now it upsets you that no-one invites you anymore

You turned down plans with your friends because you couldn’t face leaving the house, and now they have stopped inviting you out. You understand why, but it upsets you to know they have stopped making an effort.

6. When your home is untidy but you don’t have the energy to clean up

You dislike living in a messy home and looking at the mess makes you feel stressed out, but you simply don’t have enough energy to tidy up.

7. Writing lots of to-do lists to help you to get out of a rut

You write lots of to-do lists with things that you need to do to lower your anxiety. Writing the lists actually helps you calm down and relax. While you rarely do everything on the list, it does help you to feel more in-control.

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8. Fearing being alone but disliking company

You fear being totally alone and your friends are very important to you, but you prefer your own company because there is less pressure.

9. Worrying that your loved ones are mad at you

You are always worried that you have upset someone that you care about. You want to check that they aren’t annoyed with you, but you worry that you will seem clingy and obsessive.

10. Wishing you could find a partner but fearing the dating scene

You’d love to find someone to spend your life with, but even the thought of dating makes you sweat. You’re not sure if you can handle spending a prolonged amount of time with a stranger.

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11. Worrying that your partner will leave you

You think your partner is amazing and even when things are going well, you are worried that they will leave you. You rationally know nothing bad has happened, but you hate the idea of losing someone you love.

12. You feel more tired the less you move

When you’re having a bad week you just want to hide in your bed. Sometimes, you’ll spend 5 days of sitting in your bed worrying you’re so tired that you can barely keep your eyes open.

If you are struggling with depression and anxiety, click here.

If you need someone to talk to anonymously, click here.

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Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Last Updated on February 15, 2019

Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

In Personal Development-speak, we are always talking about goals, outcomes, success, desires and dreams. In other words, all the stuff we want to do, achieve and create in our world.

And while it’s important for us to know what we want to achieve (our goal), it’s also important for us to understand why we want to achieve it; the reason behind the goal or some would say, our real goal.

Why is goal setting important?

1. Your needs and desire will be fulfilled.

Sometimes when we explore our “why”, (why we want to achieve a certain thing) we realize that our “what” (our goal) might not actually deliver us the thing (feeling, emotion, internal state) we’re really seeking.

For example, the person who has a goal to lose weight in the belief that weight loss will bring them happiness, security, fulfillment, attention, popularity and the partner of their dreams. In this instance, their “what” is weight-loss and their “why” is happiness (etc.) and a partner.

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Six months later, they have lost the weight (achieved their goal) but as is often the case, they’re not happier, not more secure, not more confident, not more fulfilled and in keeping with their miserable state, they have failed to attract their dream partner.

After all, who wants to be with someone who’s miserable? They achieved their practical goal but still failed to have their needs met.

So they set a goal to lose another ten pounds. And then another. And maybe just ten more. With the destructive and erroneous belief that if they can get thin enough, they’ll find their own personal nirvana. And we all know how that story ends.

2. You’ll find out what truly motivates you

The important thing in the process of constructing our best life is not necessarily what goals we set (what we think we want) but what motivates us towards those goals (what we really want).

The sooner we begin to explore, identify and understand what motivates us towards certain achievements, acquisitions or outcomes (that is, we begin moving towards greater consciousness and self awareness), the sooner we will make better decisions for our life, set more intelligent (and dare I say, enlightened) goals and experience more fulfilment and less frustration.

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We all know people who have achieved what they set out to, only to end up in the same place or worse (emotionally, psychologically, sociologically) because what they were chasing wasn’t really what they were needing.

What we think we want will rarely provide us with what we actually need.

3. Your state of mind will be a lot healthier

We all set specific goals to achieve/acquire certain things (a job, a car, a partner, a better body, a bank balance, a title, a victory) because at some level, most of us believe (consciously or not) that the achievement of those goals will bring us what we really seek; joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

Of course, setting practical, material and financial goals is an intelligent thing to do considering the world we live in and how that world works.

But setting goals with an expectation that the achievement of certain things in our external, physical world will automatically create an internal state of peace, contentment, joy and total happiness is an unhealthy and unrealistic mindset to inhabit.

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What you truly want and need

Sometimes we need to look beyond the obvious (superficial) goals to discover and secure what we really want.

Sadly, we live in a collective mindset which teaches that the prettiest and the wealthiest are the most successful.

Some self-help frauds even teach this message. If you’re rich or pretty, you’re happy. If you’re both, you’re very happy. Pretty isn’t what we really want; it’s what we believe pretty will bring us. Same goes with money.

When we cut through the hype, the jargon and the self-help mumbo jumbo, we all have the same basic goals, desires and needs:

Joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

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Nobody needs a mansion or a sport’s car but we all need love.

Nobody needs massive pecs, six percent body-fat, a face lift or bigger breasts but we all need connection, acceptance and understanding.

Nobody needs to be famous but we all need peace, calm, balance and happiness.

The problem is, we live in a culture which teaches that one equals the other. If only we lived in a culture which taught that real success is far more about what’s happening in our internal environment, than our external one.

It’s a commonly-held belief that we’re all very different and we all have different goals — whether short term or long term goals. But in many ways we’re not, and we don’t; we all want essentially the same things.

Now all you have to do is see past the fraud and deception and find the right path.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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