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How Successful People Deal With Manipulators

How Successful People Deal With Manipulators

Some people are born manipulators, and not in a good way. A psychological manipulator deliberately creates an inequality of power, exploiting a victim or circumstance to serve their agenda. This can be beneficial, of course, and many successful business men and women are master manipulators. The problem is that a psychological manipulator isn’t necessarily going to have the best interests of the business at heart.

According to Psychology Today, most manipulative people have four common characteristics:

  • They know how to detect weaknesses
  • Once those weaknesses are found, they use them against you or your business
  • Through shrewd machinations, they convince you to give up something of yourself in order to serve their self-centered interests
  • In work, social, and family situations, once a manipulator succeeds at taking advantage of you, that person will continue repeating the violation until they are stopped.

How do successful people deal with manipulators? They do so through wisdom and their own strength of character.

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Below are several character traits and actions that successful people commonly use to deal with psychological manipulators.

1. They always trust people until those people are no longer honest

According to Jorge Diaz, founder of Lead Layer, honesty is one of the best compasses to use to successfully deal with manipulative people. It’s a filter that weeds out the people who will give you problems, like a business partner who just wants to work with you in order to take advantage of your connections for their own gain.

Steve Jobs, former CEO of NeXT and Apple and one of the most successful people in history, had a habit of being brutally honest. He told his biographer, “I don’t think I run roughshod over people, but if something sucks, I tell people to their face. It’s my job to be honest.”

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2. They remember that manipulative people are good communicators

A manipulative person won’t do what they say, but they will convince you with their interpersonal skills that they possess more value than they actually do. Unfortunately, once you’re ready to pull the trigger and take action, the manipulative person won’t act or will give you excuses so he or she can take advantage of the situation.

This reflects back to dealing with people honestly and expecting the same. Once the manipulator shows his or her true colors, it’s time to cut the cord and end the business relationship with that person. The successful person realizes this, and acts swiftly to remove the manipulator from any position of influence he or she might be in.

3. They evaluate the past actions of people

Looking at business that people have conducted in the past, digging deep to have a feel for what a person has built over the years, will show you what kind of person the manipulator really is. Do those past actions show a healthy response to fear, or an overwhelming defeat by it? The manipulator, often, is defeated by fear.

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Carly Fiorina, former CEO of Hewlett Packard, pointed out that “The difference between people who succeed and people who fail, I think in many cases it’s not fear. Everyone experiences fear. The difference is what do you do with your fear. Do you work to overcome it or do you let it defeat you? And I think that is actually what distinguishes very successful people from others.”

4. They follow their intuition

Whether in the business world or in personal life, it isn’t often that we hear our inside voice. Successful people are in tune with what both their minds and their bodies tell them, using the feedback on the outside world to determine whether something truly is as it seems.

Bill Gates once said, “Often, you have to rely on intuition.” Steve Jobs agreed with this, encouraging others to “Have courage to follow your heart and intuition.” If that’s not enough, Oprah Winfrey insists that people should follow their instincts because “That’s where true wisdom manifests itself.”

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5. They don’t play the fool

Gary Rawding, Chairman and CEO of myServiceForce, points out that successful people do not typically play the fool. Rather, they tend to be direct and challenging, knowing that manipulation won’t hold up well to the bright light of deeper inspection.

They take risks, to be sure, but they don’t do so foolishly. Instead, they closely evaluate every person they are dealing with and every situation they are embroiled in, determining how the puzzle pieces fit together and which pieces are from the wrong box.

6. They expect excellence

The manipulative person will find it difficult, if not impossible, to maintain an atmosphere of excellence. Their excuses and backpedaling won’t stand up to the light of excellence, so demand nothing short of that in the workplace. Like honesty, the expectation of excellence will act as a filter to weed out those who just want to manipulate the environment to best suit them.

Steve Jobs once advised leaders to “Be a yardstick of quality. Some people aren’t used to an environment where excellence is expected.” By demonstrating excellence, the successful person sets the stage for a manipulator to be found out and dismissed out of hand.

Featured photo credit: Gratisography via gratisography.com

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Last Updated on August 21, 2018

15 Signs You’re an Old Soul and Think Differently

15 Signs You’re an Old Soul and Think Differently

If you’ve often felt slightly removed from the worries of today and miss the simplistic life of a time gone by, or somehow feel a little out of sync with what your peers are concerned with, there’s a chance you may be an old soul.

Being an old soul refers to how you view and approach life.

Your views echo those of someone much older than you, who has lived a long and fruitful life. You approach life with a greater sense of knowledge and wisdom coupled with a greater sense of inner wealth.

If you’ve ever met an exasperated 10 year old saying, “Kids today are so…”, or a 28 year old who says, “In my day…”, an awful lot, chances are you’re in the presence of a beautiful old soul. They’re often perplexed, and unable to relate to the things people their own age consider fun, or important, and so feel out of place.

They look at life through a vignette of experiences they may not have lived, yet, but somehow, just seem to know.

So if you’ve ever felt like you’ve lived before, and you have a wealth of wisdom you can’t explain, chances are you have been reincarnated—

—or maybe, you’re just an old soul!

Here are some tell-tale signs to help you find out if you’re an old soul.

1. You know there’s another way to do things.

You often say things like, “I have a feeling this will work”, or “there’s no harm in trying.” People may view your suggestions as outdated or done, but you know that sometimes, just sometimes, the tried and tested ways of doing things are best. Hey, if it ain’t broke…

You feel that not all problems require a new and innovative solution, and going round in circles when the answer may be staring you in the face is usually a waste of valuable time, and energy.

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You have no problem trying out new things, but know, too, that oldies can also be goodies.

2. You give advice well beyond your years.

You somehow seem to know how to do things you haven’t even done yourself yet. It’s like you’ve lived before, and just know how it all works. People often look at you with that “how do you know?” expression, and you respond with a confident, “I just know!”

Truth is, you do just know, but don’t know how you know. Those people who come to you for advice, though somewhat freaked out by your amazing prophetic powers to impressively offer solutions and predict outcomes, trust you wholeheartedly and don’t doubt your authenticity.

3. You like to think things through.

Even the most impatient of people will need to think things through if they are an old soul at heart. You need that time to maul it over in your head.

It’s an important part of your to-do process, and it enables you to move forward in the direction most in sync with your mind, body and soul.

To you, not being able to think things through, even a little, leaves you feeling uneasy, and that does nothing to help.

4. You don’t waste time asking why.

After you’ve thought things through, you move ahead, confident in the knowledge that you’ve done all you needed to do to get going.

You don’t waste time in trying to justify it to yourself or anyone else. You have little time and patience for the nonsensical and would prefer to utilize your time getting things done, rather than sitting around talking about getting things done.

In the end, you understand that whatever you do, you trust that all things work out just as they are supposed to, and you don’t want to question that wonderful process.

5. You don’t like to go out just for the sake of going out.

It’s quality over quantity for you. You love to go out and have fun, but going out because others feel it is required, or you look boring if you don’t, holds no merit for you.

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When you go out, you’d like to experience something; something that resonates with your way of perceiving the world and challenges you.

You’ll happily spend money on those things that give you wonderful experiences and broaden your horizons. Going out just because, seems pointless to you; you’d rather save your time, and money, and do something of quality.

6. You have an appreciation for old literature.

You respect the classics. You’re often found getting euphorically high off old books. You’ve probably sniffed a good few old books in your time, and you don’t care who sees.

For you, old literature should be respected and valued; they hold history and historical experience between their pages and deserve to be exalted.

7. You have old ears.

You love and appreciate the classics and have a longing for the musicality of those nostalgic tunes. Your record (that’s right, record!) collection looks like a retro music store. Probably only 10% of your collection consists of what you refer to as “nowadays” music, the rest are from decades gone by.

You know only a handful of today’s artists, and that’s only because you haven’t heard an album yet to rival your favorite Grateful Dead album, or your favorite Frank Sinatra track.

You don’t go out of your way to avoid modern music, it just doesn’t seem to whet your appetite. So you’ll happily pump your beloved Janis Joplin or Nat King Cole all the way home. Heaven!

8. You see no need in being unnecessarily stressed.

You don’t invite drama just because it makes you feel alive, no, you’d much prefer to live without it.

You appreciate the quiet, and invite peace. It’s become apparent to you that the world views stress and busyness as being productive.

But you know that being productive has nothing to do with being crazy busy or stressed, but everything to do with how well you utilize your time.

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So you’re mindful about what you spend your hours doing, and make sure your doing something worthwhile, and not just keeping busy for busy sake.

9. You love to meet new people.

To you, talking to people is enriching and adds to your experience of the world. This isn’t because you just can’t help chit chatting, but more so because you are genuinely fascinated by those you share this planet with, who can offer different perspectives.

You love being able to swap stories with people you’ve only just met. Plus, it also serves to make those trips to the bank all the more interesting!

10. You value deep connections.

For you, it’s all about quality over quantity. You require a deeper connection with those around you in order to feel any connection at all.

Half-hearted friendships, surface-level relationships and fly-by-night hook-ups are not your thing. You value the essence of deeper friendships and long lasting relationships, as you give yourself wholly to them, too.

11. You love learning.

Nothing gets you going more than learning more about yourself, other people and the world around you.

For you learning is growth, and growth is part of life. As an old soul, you approach learning from the understanding that it doesn’t have to lead anywhere, for example, a degree or certificate.

Sure, those things are great and offer a sense of accomplishment, but for you it’s the act of learning something new and wonderful that motivates you, not the initials after your name!

12. You don’t see the fuss about the latest craze.

Following others just to fit in? Where’s the fun in that? To you, being a style chaser or tech follower is something you can never quite get your head around.

Sure you may even own a Kindle or you may have an iPad, but now they sit there, gathering dust, because you miss the feel (and smell) or the real thing, and computer works just fine.

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You don’t really care whether you’re an early adopter or a late comer. None of the things defines you, and you’re okay with that.

13. You value the company of those much older than you.

You want to drink in their wisdom and you hang on their every word as they tell you stories of their youth. You laugh at their accounts of old trends, and cry at the war stories, you reminisce with them about long lost loves, and actually listen to their pearls of wisdom.

At a time when we seem to have less and less time for the more mature among us, the old soul has nothing but time to give. That’s because you appreciate what they have to share, and let’s be honest, you secretly wish for a time when life seemed so simple.

14. You are the epitome of calm.

You are the steadfast one, the one neither swayed, nor toppled, even in a crisis. You probably say things like, “Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast,” and tell people to “Get a grip!”

To everyone else, you appear disconnected, but to those who know you well, you’re actually hard at work, you just work differently.

You’ve learned that nothing actually gets done if everyone is running around losing their heads; someone needs to be the calm force. This is just how you make sense of what is happening.

You stop. Wait. Listen. Then decide what steps to take next.

15. You truly understand what it means to give.

To you, there’s no better way to live, than to give.

Giving your time, or money or those things you simply have no need for is the most rewarding thing anyone can do with their short time on earth. It isn’t an ego thing, far from it.

For you, giving is the purest act of love. Plus, you see no point in holding on to things you cant take with you, so you’re more than happy to travel light!

Featured photo credit: Portrait of fashionable well dressed man with beard posing outdoors looking away, confident and focused mature man in coat standing outside at sunny evening, elegant fashion model via shutterstock.com

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