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Why True Love Isn’t Like Hide-And-Seek But Building Sand Castles

Why True Love Isn’t Like Hide-And-Seek But Building Sand Castles

With the dominant presence of the media, we are expected to find love and live happily ever after. When the subject is centered on love many are becoming more nonchalant and unwilling to work for it or building it. But this is why true love isn’t like hide and seek but like building sand castles.

1. It starts in a tender way

Building a sand castle starts on a soft surface just like love. Love has a strong appeal on each of us and makes us calmer, tender and softer so that we have a more positive perception of the world around us.

2. It can be fragile

After being attracted to someone you are willing to take the risks to get to know the person on a different level. Like building a sand castle you have to be creative and strategic in how you express your feelings and how you take this attraction to another level in the relationship.

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3. We do not know what form it will take

Like building a sand castle we do not know where we are headed but the journey and the prospects are so exciting that we are ready to go all the way. In its purest form, true love takes us on a path we may never have plied on our own.

4. You are willing to learn

For many, building a sand castle is a task that is both exciting and offers learning to our curious minds. With love you should be willing to learn how to trust and respect the other person, and you should not be ready to expect anything less.

5. It takes time

You don’t build a sand castle in seconds. It takes time to build and nurture love; such patience and effort makes it more rewarding and enriching.

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6. You should focus on giving than getting

Enjoy the process of being in love. Don’t think of the rewards; diving in deep, you should not expect getting something back in return from your partner to justify your actions.

7. You should be willing to face the challenges

Love is not like a fairy tale. Although exciting and fun filled a love story comes with its challenges and you have to be willing to tolerate the other person’s flaws. Don’t get too serious and expect perfection. A sand castle is really not a perfect structure after all but with the right desires and expectations you can get a lot from it.

8. You will be adaptive

We tend to do things that we have not done before or may not do ordinarily for the one we love. True love is adaptive and accommodating. You have to be willing to accept the unconventional to make a balanced relationship.

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9. It evolves

Love doesn’t have a boundary or a limit, it actually evolves and gets better. You will be more equipped to face the future as you can overcome the hurdles that every stage presents.

10. It is a way of living

While some people think that love is passive and is emotional, you will find out that love is active and a way of life. You are willing to keep your promises and commit yourself to the process. Like building a sand castle, it needs action rather than mere wishful thinking or daydreaming.

11. It is bold

Being in love makes you feel alive and willing to take on challenges or march into higher grounds. You simply feel obligated to make your partner feel loved and special.

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12. It takes two

True love is not individualized. It takes two to make it a success. Interestingly as the relationship deepens you are willing to focus on the “we” rather than “me.”

At the end of the day, you should not force this type of love. It will grow and become a sand castle that you always cherish

Featured photo credit: RossHelen via shutterstock.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on August 4, 2020

The Gentle Art of Saying No For a Less Stressful Life

The Gentle Art of Saying No For a Less Stressful Life

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here’s how to master the Gentle Art of Saying No:

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1. Value Your Time

Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”

2. Know Your Priorities

Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time?

For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.

3. Practice Saying No

Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.

4. Don’t Apologize

A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.

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5. Stop Being Nice

Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets.

Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.

6. Say No to Your Boss

Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no,” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning.

But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.

7. Pre-Empting

It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting,

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“Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”

8. Get Back to You

Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them:

“After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.”

At least you gave it some consideration.

9. Maybe Later

If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say,

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“This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].”

Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.

10. It’s Not You, It’s Me

This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often, the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time.

Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

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Featured photo credit: Kyle Glenn via unsplash.com

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