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Why True Love Isn’t Like Hide-And-Seek But Building Sand Castles

Why True Love Isn’t Like Hide-And-Seek But Building Sand Castles

With the dominant presence of the media, we are expected to find love and live happily ever after. When the subject is centered on love many are becoming more nonchalant and unwilling to work for it or building it. But this is why true love isn’t like hide and seek but like building sand castles.

1. It starts in a tender way

Building a sand castle starts on a soft surface just like love. Love has a strong appeal on each of us and makes us calmer, tender and softer so that we have a more positive perception of the world around us.

2. It can be fragile

After being attracted to someone you are willing to take the risks to get to know the person on a different level. Like building a sand castle you have to be creative and strategic in how you express your feelings and how you take this attraction to another level in the relationship.

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3. We do not know what form it will take

Like building a sand castle we do not know where we are headed but the journey and the prospects are so exciting that we are ready to go all the way. In its purest form, true love takes us on a path we may never have plied on our own.

4. You are willing to learn

For many, building a sand castle is a task that is both exciting and offers learning to our curious minds. With love you should be willing to learn how to trust and respect the other person, and you should not be ready to expect anything less.

5. It takes time

You don’t build a sand castle in seconds. It takes time to build and nurture love; such patience and effort makes it more rewarding and enriching.

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6. You should focus on giving than getting

Enjoy the process of being in love. Don’t think of the rewards; diving in deep, you should not expect getting something back in return from your partner to justify your actions.

7. You should be willing to face the challenges

Love is not like a fairy tale. Although exciting and fun filled a love story comes with its challenges and you have to be willing to tolerate the other person’s flaws. Don’t get too serious and expect perfection. A sand castle is really not a perfect structure after all but with the right desires and expectations you can get a lot from it.

8. You will be adaptive

We tend to do things that we have not done before or may not do ordinarily for the one we love. True love is adaptive and accommodating. You have to be willing to accept the unconventional to make a balanced relationship.

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9. It evolves

Love doesn’t have a boundary or a limit, it actually evolves and gets better. You will be more equipped to face the future as you can overcome the hurdles that every stage presents.

10. It is a way of living

While some people think that love is passive and is emotional, you will find out that love is active and a way of life. You are willing to keep your promises and commit yourself to the process. Like building a sand castle, it needs action rather than mere wishful thinking or daydreaming.

11. It is bold

Being in love makes you feel alive and willing to take on challenges or march into higher grounds. You simply feel obligated to make your partner feel loved and special.

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12. It takes two

True love is not individualized. It takes two to make it a success. Interestingly as the relationship deepens you are willing to focus on the “we” rather than “me.”

At the end of the day, you should not force this type of love. It will grow and become a sand castle that you always cherish

Featured photo credit: RossHelen via shutterstock.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on June 24, 2019

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

A study [1] published in Depression and Anxiety found that social media users are more likely to be depressed. This was just one of the huge number of studies linking social media and depression[2] . But why exactly do platforms like Facebook and Instagram make people so unhappy? Well, we don’t know yet for sure, but there are some explanations.

Social Media Could Lead to Depression

Depression is a serious medical condition that affects how you think, feel, and behave. Social media may lead to depression in predisposed individuals or make existing symptoms of depression[3] worse explains[4] the study above’s senior author Dr. Brian Primack. So, the problem may not be in social media per se, but how we use it.

Signs You’re Suffering From “Social Media Depression”

If you feel like social media is having a negative impact on your mood, then you may be suffering from “social media depression.” Look for symptoms like:

• low self-esteem,

• negative self-talk,

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• a low mood,

• irritability,

• a lack of interest in activities once enjoyed,

• and social withdrawal.

If you’ve had these symptoms for more than two weeks and if this is how you feel most of the time, then you are likely depressed. Although “social media depression “is not a term recognized in the medical setting, social media depression seems to be a real phenomenon affecting around 50% of social media users. As explained in a review study[5] published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, if a person has a certain predisposition to depression and other mental disorders, social media use may only worsen their mental health.

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Social Media Could Crush Self-Esteem

We know that social media and depression are in some way linked, but why is this so? Well, according to Igor Pantic, MD, Ph.D.[6], social media use skews your perception about other people’s lives and traits. To explain this further, most people like to portray an idealized image of their lives, personal traits, and appearance on sites like Facebook and Instagram. If you confuse this idealized image with reality, you may be under the false impression that everyone is better than you which can crush your self-esteem and lead to depression. This is especially true for teens and young adults who are more likely to compare themselves to others. If you already suffer from low self-esteem, the illusion that everyone has it better off than you will just make you feel worse.

Causing Social Isolation and Other Negative Emotions

Another commonly cited reason for the negative impact of social media on mental health is its link with social isolation. Depressed people are more likely to isolate themselves socially and chose only to interact indirectly through social media platforms. But communication online tends to be superficial and is lacking when compared to real-life interaction explains Panic. What this means is not that social media leads to isolation but the other way around, possibly explaining why we find so many depressed persons on these sites.

Lastly, social media use may generate negative emotions in you like envy, jealousy, dislike, loneliness, and many others and this may worsen your depressive symptoms.

Why We Need to Take This Seriously

Both depression and social media use are on the rise according to epidemiological studies. Since each one has an impact on the other, we have to start thinking of healthier ways to use social media. Teens and young adults are especially vulnerable to the negative impact of social media on mental health.

Advice on Social Media Use

Although these findings did not provide any cause-effect explanation regarding Facebook and depression[7], they still do prove that social media use may not be a good way to handle depression. For this reason, the leading authors of these studies gave some suggestions as to how clinicians and people can make use of such findings.

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One suggestion is that clinicians should ask patients about their social media habits. Then they can advise them on how to change their outlook on social media use or even suggest limiting their time spent on social media.

Some social media users may also exhibit addictive behavior; they may spend too much time due to compulsive urges. Any compulsive behavior is bound to lead to feelings of guilt which can worsen depressive symptoms.

Having Unhealthy Relationship with Social Media

If you feel like your relationship with social media is unhealthy, then consider the advice on healthy social media use provided by psychology experts from Links Psychology[8]:

Avoid negative social comparison – always keep in mind that how people portray themselves and their lives on social media is not a realistic picture, but rather an idealized one. Also, avoid comparing yourself to others because this behavior can lead to negative self-talk.

Remember that social media is not a replacement for real life – Social media is great for staying in touch and having fun, but it should never replace real-world interactions.

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Avoid releasing personal information – For your safety and privacy, make sure to be careful with what you post online.

Report users who bully and harass you – It’s easy to be a bully in the anonymous and distant world of social media. Don’t take such offense personally and report those who abuse social media to harass others.

The bits of advice listed above can help you establish a healthy relationship with social media. Always keep these things in mind to avoid losing an objective perspective of what social media is and how it is different from real life. If you are currently suffering from depression, talk to your doctor about what is bothering you so that you can get the treatment you need to get better. Tell your doctor about your social media use and see if they could give you some advice on this topic.

Reference

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