Having a constant need to please everyone is not only unrealistic, it actually backfires in numerous negative ways for you. Here are some reasons why trying to please everyone will only make you more miserable.
You are constantly overwhelmed
One of the biggest issues of constantly feeling the need to please others is that it is mentally and physically taxing. Always offering to do extra favors for other people can deplete your energy quickly and make you feel like a robot. Playing neutral for any disagreement between a group of your friends or co-workers can make you a mental zombie and can take precious time away from focusing on your own priorities.
It is important to learn how to say no sometimes to tasks that you know your friend or co-worker can handle on their own and will free up more time for you to concentrate on more pressing matters.
You are seen as a pushover
People who always try to agree with others are often seen as people that can be taken advantage of. Your co-workers might dump the extra work project that no one else wants to take on. Your family might delegate you with extra tasks for the upcoming reunion, just because they know you will not say no. In order to reach a happier mindset, it is important to be assertive towards people in your life who have seen you as someone who is always willing to make everyone else happy first.
Finding true happiness as an individual will be infectious towards those in your life who truly care about your well-being, without always needing something from you in return.
You do not recognize your own opinions anymore
Constantly agreeing with people is not only tiring, but it can cause you to lose your own independent thoughts and instead mistake them for what other people think. Developing and voicing your own opinion can be a daunting task at first, but the more you practice and utilize it, the easier it will become.
Standing up for what you believe in will increase your happiness tenfold and your days as a people pleaser will be a thing of the past.
You constantly over-think what other think of you
Having the need to constantly please people requires a certain level of anxiety and stress, since you are always wondering what people are thinking of you. From playing over certain scenes in your head to rehearsing what you will say to people — all of this takes a toll on you and leaves you a emotional mess! It is important to learn to let go of the judgmental voices in your head and instead focus on the positive aspects of social interactions that you have. Living in fear of being hated by others will often mean missing out on the positive outcomes of interacting with others.
You are seen as lacking a personality
People who are afraid of being hated by others frequently appear as if they lack any character and often seem dull. It is important for you to be able to be yourself and let your true personality shine through without you having to heavily edit it. What makes a person interesting is that they are able to embrace their flaws, instead of ignoring that they are there. Not everyone will get along with you and that is fine.
Instead, it is important to find people who truly care about the real you and your opinions — no matter how different they may be. You will feel infinitely happier when you are not hiding any of your personality and can show off your true colors!
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