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Why People Who Are Always Afraid to Be Hated Won’t Be Happy

Why People Who Are Always Afraid to Be Hated Won’t Be Happy

Having a constant need to please everyone is not only unrealistic, it actually backfires in numerous negative ways for you. Here are some reasons why trying to please everyone will only make you more miserable.

You are constantly overwhelmed

One of the biggest issues of constantly feeling the need to please others is that it is mentally and physically taxing. Always offering to do extra favors for other people can deplete your energy quickly and make you feel like a robot. Playing neutral for any disagreement between a group of your friends or co-workers can make you a mental zombie and can take precious time away from focusing on your own priorities.

It is important to learn how to say no sometimes to tasks that you know your friend or co-worker can handle on their own and will free up more time for you to concentrate on more pressing matters.

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You are seen as a pushover

People who always try to agree with others are often seen as people that can be taken advantage of. Your co-workers might dump the extra work project that no one else wants to take on. Your family might delegate you with extra tasks for the upcoming reunion, just because they know you will not say no. In order to reach a happier mindset, it is important to be assertive towards people in your life who have seen you as someone who is always willing to make everyone else happy first.

Finding true happiness as an individual will be infectious towards those in your life who truly care about your well-being, without always needing something from you in return.

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    Photo source: Flickr

    You do not recognize your own opinions anymore

    Constantly agreeing with people is not only tiring, but it can cause you to lose your own independent thoughts and instead mistake them for what other people think. Developing and voicing your own opinion can be a daunting task at first, but the more you practice and utilize it, the easier it will become.

    Standing up for what you believe in will increase your happiness tenfold and your days as a people pleaser will be a thing of the past.

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    You constantly over-think what other think of you

    Having the need to constantly please people requires a certain level of anxiety and stress, since you are always wondering what people are thinking of you. From playing over certain scenes in your head to rehearsing what you will say to people — all of this takes a toll on you and leaves you a emotional mess! It is important to learn to let go of the judgmental voices in your head and instead focus on the positive aspects of social interactions that you have. Living in fear of being hated by others will often mean missing out on the positive outcomes of interacting with others.

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      Photo source: Flickr

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      You are seen as lacking a personality

      People who are afraid of being hated by others frequently appear as if they lack any character and often seem dull. It is important for you to be able to be yourself and let your true personality shine through without you having to heavily edit it. What makes a person interesting is that they are able to embrace their flaws, instead of ignoring that they are there. Not everyone will get along with you and that is fine.

      Instead, it is important to find people who truly care about the real you and your opinions — no matter how different they may be. You will feel infinitely happier when you are not hiding any of your personality and can show off your true colors!

      Featured photo credit: Flickr via flickr.com

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      Last Updated on June 3, 2020

      19 Definitions Of Success You Should Never Ignore

      19 Definitions Of Success You Should Never Ignore

      What is success?

      Is it wealth? Is it happiness? Is it fame?

      The late Zig Ziglar was one of the most respected modern day experts on success, motivation, and leading a balanced life. In his book Born to Win!, he argues that success cannot be defined in one sentence, but instead it is comprised of many things. One could argue that the definition depends on the individual and that one size does not fit all[1].

      Here are 19 different definitions of success. Not all of these will resonate with you, but chances are at least a few of them will. Use these or find inspiration here to create your own definition of success that can be applied to your unique life.

      1. Success is always doing your best.

      Success can be achieved when you try your best in all aspects of everything you do, even if that doesn’t lead to big results. If you’ve done your best, you should feel proud of your efforts.

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      2. Success is properly setting concrete goals.

      Be realistic and concrete when setting goals. Success does not come from setting abstract goals. If you know where you’re heading, that is a success in itself, even if you don’t ultimately arrive to the planned destination.

      3. Success is having a place to call home.

      Home is where your heart soars. You are always successful when you can call a place home. Home doesn’t have to be a specific structure. It can be a country, a city, or even a person. If you have a place you feel comfortable and safe, you’re already achieving something great.

      4. Success is understanding the difference between need and want.

      If you can meet your monthly obligations and fulfill your basic needs, you are successful. Being able to identify when you absolutely need something and when you can do without it often leads to financial stability and is a great way to succeed.

      5. Success is believing you can.

      If you believe you can, you will succeed. Self-belief doesn’t come naturally to everyone, so if you’re able to tell yourself that you can achieve the goals in your plans, you’re doing great.

      6. Success is remembering to balance work with passion.

      Work without passion creates undue stress and empty achievements. Focus on what excites you. If you’re happy at your job, that’s great. However, even if you aren’t, you can balance your formal job with hobbies or volunteer work you’re passionate about.

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      7. Success is taking care of your needs.

      Remember to put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others. Self-care is essential if you want to have any meaningful impact on the world around you.

      8. Success is learning that you sometimes have to say no.

      Success only comes with a balanced life. Part of balance is learning to say no. Saying no doesn’t mean you are selfish; it simply means you have priorities and know what you need to give your attention to at any given time.

      9. Success is knowing your life is filled with abundance.

      Love, health, friends, family…life is filled with abundance. Recognizing this is an important step to feeling grateful for all life has given you. If you can feel this, you are already experiencing success.

      10. Success is understanding you cannot keep what you don’t give away.

      You will only succeed if you help others succeed. Learning to give instead of always take is part of creating a world we all want to live in. When you help others, you will also create an environment where others want to help you.

      11. Success is overcoming fear.

      Conquering a fear makes you feel invincible. Even if it’s confronting just one small fear each week, that is certainly something to feel proud of. The bigger fears will take more time, but any work you do to overcome fear will lead to success.

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      12. Success is learning something new each day.

      Successful people understand that learning never stops. Take time each day to converse with someone with opposing views, read an interesting article on a topic you know little about, or watch a TED talk on new research. It doesn’t take long to learn, so get started now.

      13. Success is learning that losing a few battles can help you win a war.

      Successful people choose their battles wisely. When you know which battles will ultimately help you achieve your goals, you will be successful.

      14. Success is loving and being loved back.

      Opening your heart to others is difficult and can produce fear. Having the courage to love and accept love from others is a step toward a fulfilling life and great success.

      15. Success is standing your ground when you believe in something.

      Successful people never give up on things they believe with all their heart. You may hold views that many people disagree with, but if you’ve done your research and know that it’s the right belief for you, you shouldn’t let it go without a fight.

      16. Success is not giving up.

      Perseverance creates grit, and grit achieves success. Even if it takes years to achieve a goal, persisting is key if you want success.

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      17. Success is celebrating small victories.

      Anytime a goal is reached or an obstacle is overcome, take time to celebrate, even if it’s something small. All goals require smaller objectives to be achieved first, so each time you complete one, take time to appreciate the work you put into it.

      18. Success is never letting a disability hold you back.

      Disabilities do not define a person’s success. The body and mind will compensate. Just because you can’t do absolutely everything doesn’t mean you can’t do something. Do what your body and mind allow and always push yourself. That is true success.

      19. Success is understanding that you control your destiny.

      Your destiny is controlled by you and you alone. Take responsibility for your actions and their consequences and you’ll find that you naturally become more successful.

      The Bottom Line

      Success can be defined in many ways. If you are experiencing happiness, love, or adventure in this moment, you’ve already found success. Keep it up.

      More Tips on Success

      Featured photo credit: Dino Reichmuth via unsplash.com

      Reference

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