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Why People Who Are Always Afraid to Be Hated Won’t Be Happy

Why People Who Are Always Afraid to Be Hated Won’t Be Happy

Having a constant need to please everyone is not only unrealistic, it actually backfires in numerous negative ways for you. Here are some reasons why trying to please everyone will only make you more miserable.

You are constantly overwhelmed

One of the biggest issues of constantly feeling the need to please others is that it is mentally and physically taxing. Always offering to do extra favors for other people can deplete your energy quickly and make you feel like a robot. Playing neutral for any disagreement between a group of your friends or co-workers can make you a mental zombie and can take precious time away from focusing on your own priorities.

It is important to learn how to say no sometimes to tasks that you know your friend or co-worker can handle on their own and will free up more time for you to concentrate on more pressing matters.

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You are seen as a pushover

People who always try to agree with others are often seen as people that can be taken advantage of. Your co-workers might dump the extra work project that no one else wants to take on. Your family might delegate you with extra tasks for the upcoming reunion, just because they know you will not say no. In order to reach a happier mindset, it is important to be assertive towards people in your life who have seen you as someone who is always willing to make everyone else happy first.

Finding true happiness as an individual will be infectious towards those in your life who truly care about your well-being, without always needing something from you in return.

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    Photo source: Flickr

    You do not recognize your own opinions anymore

    Constantly agreeing with people is not only tiring, but it can cause you to lose your own independent thoughts and instead mistake them for what other people think. Developing and voicing your own opinion can be a daunting task at first, but the more you practice and utilize it, the easier it will become.

    Standing up for what you believe in will increase your happiness tenfold and your days as a people pleaser will be a thing of the past.

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    You constantly over-think what other think of you

    Having the need to constantly please people requires a certain level of anxiety and stress, since you are always wondering what people are thinking of you. From playing over certain scenes in your head to rehearsing what you will say to people — all of this takes a toll on you and leaves you a emotional mess! It is important to learn to let go of the judgmental voices in your head and instead focus on the positive aspects of social interactions that you have. Living in fear of being hated by others will often mean missing out on the positive outcomes of interacting with others.

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      Photo source: Flickr

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      You are seen as lacking a personality

      People who are afraid of being hated by others frequently appear as if they lack any character and often seem dull. It is important for you to be able to be yourself and let your true personality shine through without you having to heavily edit it. What makes a person interesting is that they are able to embrace their flaws, instead of ignoring that they are there. Not everyone will get along with you and that is fine.

      Instead, it is important to find people who truly care about the real you and your opinions — no matter how different they may be. You will feel infinitely happier when you are not hiding any of your personality and can show off your true colors!

      Featured photo credit: Flickr via flickr.com

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      Last Updated on August 16, 2018

      10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

      10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

      The ability to take risks by stepping outside your comfort zone is the primary way by which we grow. But we are often afraid to take that first step.

      In truth, comfort zones are not really about comfort, they are about fear. Break the chains of fear to get outside. Once you do, you will learn to enjoy the process of taking risks and growing in the process.

      Here are 10 ways to help you step out of your comfort zone and get closer to success:

      1. Become aware of what’s outside of your comfort zone

      What are the things that you believe are worth doing but are afraid of doing yourself because of the potential for disappointment or failure?

      Draw a circle and write those things down outside the circle. This process will not only allow you to clearly identify your discomforts, but your comforts. Write identified comforts inside the circle.

      2. Become clear about what you are aiming to overcome

      Take the list of discomforts and go deeper. Remember, the primary emotion you are trying to overcome is fear.

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      How does this fear apply uniquely to each situation? Be very specific.

      Are you afraid of walking up to people and introducing yourself in social situations? Why? Is it because you are insecure about the sound of your voice? Are you insecure about your looks?

      Or, are you afraid of being ignored?

      3. Get comfortable with discomfort

      One way to get outside of your comfort zone is to literally expand it. Make it a goal to avoid running away from discomfort.

      Let’s stay with the theme of meeting people in social settings. If you start feeling a little panicked when talking to someone you’ve just met, try to stay with it a little longer than you normally would before retreating to comfort. If you stay long enough and practice often enough, it will start to become less uncomfortable.

      4. See failure as a teacher

      Many of us are so afraid of failure that we would rather do nothing than take a shot at our dreams.

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      Begin to treat failure as a teacher. What did you learn from the experience? How can you take that lesson to your next adventure to increase your chance of success?

      Many highly successful people failed plenty of times before they succeeded. Here’re some examples:

      10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

      5. Take baby steps

      Don’t try to jump outside your comfort zone, you will likely become overwhelmed and jump right back in.

      Take small steps toward the fear you are trying to overcome. If you want to do public speaking, start by taking every opportunity to speak to small groups of people. You can even practice with family and friends.

      Take a look at this article on how you can start taking baby steps:

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      The Number One Secret to Life Success: Baby Steps

      6. Hang out with risk takers

      There is no substitute for this step. If you want to become better at something, you must start hanging out with the people who are doing what you want to do and start emulating them. (Here’re 8 Reasons Why Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful).

      Almost inevitably, their influence will start have an effect on your behavior.

      7. Be honest with yourself when you are trying to make excuses

      Don’t say “Oh, I just don’t have the time for this right now.” Instead, be honest and say “I am afraid to do this.”

      Don’t make excuses, just be honest. You will be in a better place to confront what is truly bothering you and increase your chance of moving forward.

      8. Identify how stepping out will benefit you

      What will the ability to engage in public speaking do for your personal and professional growth? Keep these potential benefits in mind as motivations to push through fear.

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      9. Don’t take yourself too seriously

      Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes. Risk taking will inevitably involve failure and setbacks that will sometimes make you look foolish to others. Be happy to roll with the punches when others poke fun.

      If you aren’t convinced yet, check out these 6 Reasons Not to Take Life So Seriously.

      10. Focus on the fun

      Enjoy the process of stepping outside your safe boundaries. Enjoy the fun of discovering things about yourself that you may not have been aware of previously.

      Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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