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Why People Who Are Always Afraid to Be Hated Won’t Be Happy

Why People Who Are Always Afraid to Be Hated Won’t Be Happy

Having a constant need to please everyone is not only unrealistic, it actually backfires in numerous negative ways for you. Here are some reasons why trying to please everyone will only make you more miserable.

You are constantly overwhelmed

One of the biggest issues of constantly feeling the need to please others is that it is mentally and physically taxing. Always offering to do extra favors for other people can deplete your energy quickly and make you feel like a robot. Playing neutral for any disagreement between a group of your friends or co-workers can make you a mental zombie and can take precious time away from focusing on your own priorities.

It is important to learn how to say no sometimes to tasks that you know your friend or co-worker can handle on their own and will free up more time for you to concentrate on more pressing matters.

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You are seen as a pushover

People who always try to agree with others are often seen as people that can be taken advantage of. Your co-workers might dump the extra work project that no one else wants to take on. Your family might delegate you with extra tasks for the upcoming reunion, just because they know you will not say no. In order to reach a happier mindset, it is important to be assertive towards people in your life who have seen you as someone who is always willing to make everyone else happy first.

Finding true happiness as an individual will be infectious towards those in your life who truly care about your well-being, without always needing something from you in return.

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    Photo source: Flickr

    You do not recognize your own opinions anymore

    Constantly agreeing with people is not only tiring, but it can cause you to lose your own independent thoughts and instead mistake them for what other people think. Developing and voicing your own opinion can be a daunting task at first, but the more you practice and utilize it, the easier it will become.

    Standing up for what you believe in will increase your happiness tenfold and your days as a people pleaser will be a thing of the past.

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    You constantly over-think what other think of you

    Having the need to constantly please people requires a certain level of anxiety and stress, since you are always wondering what people are thinking of you. From playing over certain scenes in your head to rehearsing what you will say to people — all of this takes a toll on you and leaves you a emotional mess! It is important to learn to let go of the judgmental voices in your head and instead focus on the positive aspects of social interactions that you have. Living in fear of being hated by others will often mean missing out on the positive outcomes of interacting with others.

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      Photo source: Flickr

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      You are seen as lacking a personality

      People who are afraid of being hated by others frequently appear as if they lack any character and often seem dull. It is important for you to be able to be yourself and let your true personality shine through without you having to heavily edit it. What makes a person interesting is that they are able to embrace their flaws, instead of ignoring that they are there. Not everyone will get along with you and that is fine.

      Instead, it is important to find people who truly care about the real you and your opinions — no matter how different they may be. You will feel infinitely happier when you are not hiding any of your personality and can show off your true colors!

      Featured photo credit: Flickr via flickr.com

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      Last Updated on December 2, 2018

      7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

      7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

      When giving a presentation or speech, you have to engage your audience effectively in order to truly get your point across. Unlike a written editorial or newsletter, your speech is fleeting; once you’ve said everything you set out to say, you don’t get a second chance to have your voice heard in that specific arena.

      You need to make sure your audience hangs on to every word you say, from your introduction to your wrap-up. You can do so by:

      1. Connecting them with each other

      Picture your typical rock concert. What’s the first thing the singer says to the crowd after jumping out on stage? “Hello (insert city name here)!” Just acknowledging that he’s coherent enough to know where he is is enough for the audience to go wild and get into the show.

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      It makes each individual feel as if they’re a part of something bigger. The same goes for any public speaking event. When an audience hears, “You’re all here because you care deeply about wildlife preservation,” it gives them a sense that they’re not just there to listen, but they’re there to connect with the like-minded people all around them.

      2. Connect with their emotions

      Speakers always try to get their audience emotionally involved in whatever topic they’re discussing. There are a variety of ways in which to do this, such as using statistics, stories, pictures or videos that really show the importance of the topic at hand.

      For example, showing pictures of the aftermath of an accident related to drunk driving will certainly send a specific message to an audience of teenagers and young adults. While doing so might be emotionally nerve-racking to the crowd, it may be necessary to get your point across and engage them fully.

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      3. Keep going back to the beginning

      Revisit your theme throughout your presentation. Although you should give your audience the credit they deserve and know that they can follow along, linking back to your initial thesis can act as a subconscious reminder of why what you’re currently telling them is important.

      On the other hand, if you simply mention your theme or the point of your speech at the beginning and never mention it again, it gives your audience the impression that it’s not really that important.

      4. Link to your audience’s motivation

      After you’ve acknowledged your audience’s common interests in being present, discuss their motivation for being there. Be specific. Using the previous example, if your audience clearly cares about wildlife preservation, discuss what can be done to help save endangered species’ from extinction.

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      Don’t just give them cold, hard facts; use the facts to make a point that they can use to better themselves or the world in some way.

      5. Entertain them

      While not all speeches or presentations are meant to be entertaining in a comedic way, audiences will become thoroughly engaged in anecdotes that relate to the overall theme of the speech. We discussed appealing to emotions, and that’s exactly what a speaker sets out to do when he tells a story from his past or that of a well-known historical figure.

      Speakers usually tell more than one story in order to show that the first one they told isn’t simply an anomaly, and that whatever outcome they’re attempting to prove will consistently reoccur, given certain circumstances.

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      6. Appeal to loyalty

      Just like the musician mentioning the town he’s playing in will get the audience ready to rock, speakers need to appeal to their audience’s loyalty to their country, company, product or cause. Show them how important it is that they’re present and listening to your speech by making your words hit home to each individual.

      In doing so, the members of your audience will feel as if you’re speaking directly to them while you’re addressing the entire crowd.

      7. Tell them the benefits of the presentation

      Early on in your presentation, you should tell your audience exactly what they’ll learn, and exactly how they’ll learn it. Don’t expect them to listen if they don’t have clear-cut information to listen for. On the other hand, if they know what to listen for, they’ll be more apt to stay engaged throughout your entire presentation so they don’t miss anything.

      Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

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