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13 Rights Every Woman Should Bravely Defend For Herself

13 Rights Every Woman Should Bravely Defend For Herself

Every woman is different in her own way. A woman has certain rights of her own that she should rightly assert. There is no difference between males and females. A woman and man have rights that are central to them and their individuality. Here is a list of rights that every woman in the world should bravely defend for herself as she is beautiful no matter what anyone says.

1. Her body no matter how it looks

No woman should have to desperately hate her body because of what people think about her. Why can guys live in peace but women have to resent their bodies? Isn’t this rigged? I definitely think it is. I used to be very skinny and then gained a little weight, and I was criticized during both these phases. I am happy regardless of how I look like because I know I am genuinely a nice person. No one should care about what you look like as long as you are not hurting or “offending” anybody. So, do not be ashamed of who you are. Embrace both inner and outer beauty because you are beautiful no matter what anybody says about you.

2. Her appearance

Be proud of the way you look. Whether tall, short, curvy, skinny, you are original. You can’t be replaced by anyone i

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n this world because you are a one piece person. There is no one on this earth that can match up to you or your standards. Make sure you remind yourself this each day because it’s quite easy to forget and I never want to see you forget this. It is an essential part to your self-esteem and courage. Each women is beautiful in her own way. Never ever let anybody tell you are inferior to anybody else. They are flat out wrong.

3. Her judgment and concern over topics

Everyone is allowed to express concern over topics they find engaging or distressing. Women are entitled to their fair share of judgment and self-expression. Why can a man say his opinion while a women can’t? If men and women are truly equal, then both parties should be able to express their opinions without any tension of the world or other people. All people have a right to voice their opinion regardless of race, creed, or gender for the matter. Be bold, and be blunt! It is not who you are, but it is who you want to be and desire to be.

4. Her relationship status

Women do not always have to be in relationships. Sometimes, finding the right man is hard. Why is it a sin to be single? There is no shame in admitting that one has not found the right person yet. There is a time and place for everything. This includes relationships that are meant to be. A relationship will come when its mean to come. There is no hassle or rush in these sorts of things.

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5. Her choice of a partner

A woman has the right to choose if she wants to be in a relationship or not. There is nobody out in the world that can tell a woman what she can and must do. The key is having confidence in yourself regardless of the outcome. I have learned this from going rock bottom and coming back up again. Relationships are meant for everyone. No one has the right to tell you to live a life determined by their choices or standards. Stand up for yourself and speak when necessary. You are you and nobody can take that away from you!

6. Her want of a relationship

Everyone is allowed a relationship. The same goes for females. Why is a woman criticized in a relationship but a man is not? If a woman wants one that is great. If she doesn’t that is also okay. This plays into our next subtopic of not wanting to have a relationship or choosing to be happy being completely single. Some of the most bravest women are single because they need nobody but themselves in a world (that tends to be cruel all too often).

7. Her denial of a relationship

A relationship will come when it is meant to come. If a woman does not want a relationship, she does not have to have one.There is no rush or no need for a relationship if it just does not come naturally from the heart. When a woman wants to be in a relationship she will vouch to be in one. No one can be in a relationship with someone’s force. Everything comes from the inside.

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8. Her desire for children

Yes, we all see women having children and some not having them. Age is no barrier. A women can conceive anytime she feels like wanting to. A women is inborn with a mother-like instinct. Why must she curb it to fit into society’s thinking?

9. Her happiness or unhappiness

When a woman is not happy, it is alright. She is a human like all other people. She doesn’t constantly have to show that she is on top of the world if she really just feels down in the dumps. Sometimes it is in the best interest to just express yourself even if its not the best emotion. There is nothing better than being yourself and who you exactly are.

10. Her salary

Sometimes it becomes bitter talk when a woman starts earning more money to her male equivalent or partner. It does not matter the gender. It is through hard work and determination that one earns money, based on the context of his or her potential and strong-will. Don’t care about the protractors, believe in yourself, and your dedication, and craft! You are simply amazing the way you are.

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11. Her strong ambitions

Only men do not have the liberty to pursue their passion. Women equally have the right to be ambitious and do what their heart tells them to do. Life is about seizing each of the moments that come your way. A woman is attractive especially when she is independent and what’s to do something on her own terms. She becomes all the more special.

12. Her success

If a female is successful, she should be proud of it, and never try to hide it from others. Why is it alright if a man is successful but if a women is, that there are tons of detractors? A female being successful calls for even more celebration, considering the history of “women’s rights” that we all fought for. Sometimes it is in the best interest to be a feminist. I know I am one big feminist, but I am proud of it, as we are tough and strong on the outside, but fragile and extremely emotional on the inside. We are beautiful creatures and we should be proud.

13. Her choice to show emotions

Whether happy or sad, a woman has the ability to choose to show emotions if she chooses to. When someone is happy or sad, or even angry, a person has the ability to choose to show it or not. In this case, we are talking about females. A female has the full right to choose to speak her opinion and show her emotion.

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Ramanpreet Kaur

Currently a student but don't know what direction to go in: Let us see if writing gets me anywhere :)

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Last Updated on October 22, 2020

8 Simple Ways to Be a Better Listener

8 Simple Ways to Be a Better Listener

How would you feel if you were sharing a personal story and noticed that the person to whom you were speaking wasn’t really listening? You probably wouldn’t be too thrilled.

Unfortunately, that is the case for many people. Most individuals are not good listeners. They are good pretenders. The thing is, true listening requires work—more work than people are willing to invest. Quality conversation is about “give and take.” Most people, however, want to just give—their words, that is. Being on the receiving end as the listener may seem boring, but it’s essential.

When you are attending to someone and paying attention to what they’re saying, it’s a sign of caring and respect. The hitch is that attending requires an act of will, which sometimes goes against what our minds naturally do—roaming around aimlessly and thinking about whatnot, instead of listening—the greatest act of thoughtfulness.

Without active listening, people often feel unheard and unacknowledged. That’s why it’s important for everyone to learn how to be a better listener.

What Makes People Poor Listeners?

Good listening skills can be learned, but first, let’s take a look at some of the things that you might be doing that makes you a poor listener.

1. You Want to Talk to Yourself

Well, who doesn’t? We all have something to say, right? But when you are looking at someone pretending to be listening while, all along, they’re mentally planning all the amazing things they’re going to say, it is a disservice to the speaker.

Yes, maybe what the other person is saying is not the most exciting thing in the world. Still, they deserve to be heard. You always have the ability to steer the conversation in another direction by asking questions.

It’s okay to want to talk. It’s normal, even. Keep in mind, however, that when your turn does come around, you’ll want someone to listen to you.

2. You Disagree With What Is Being Said

This is another thing that makes you an inadequate listener—hearing something with which you disagree with and immediately tuning out. Then, you lie in wait so you can tell the speaker how wrong they are. You’re eager to make your point and prove the speaker wrong. You think that once you speak your “truth,” others will know how mistaken the speaker is, thank you for setting them straight, and encourage you to elaborate on what you have to say. Dream on.

Disagreeing with your speaker, however frustrating that might be, is no reason to tune them out and ready yourself to spew your staggering rebuttal. By listening, you might actually glean an interesting nugget of information that you were previously unaware of.

3. You Are Doing Five Other Things While You’re “Listening”

It is impossible to listen to someone while you’re texting, reading, playing Sudoku, etc. But people do it all the time—I know I have.

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I’ve actually tried to balance my checkbook while pretending to listen to the person on the other line. It didn’t work. I had to keep asking, “what did you say?” I can only admit this now because I rarely do it anymore. With work, I’ve succeeded in becoming a better listener. It takes a great deal of concentration, but it’s certainly worth it.

If you’re truly going to listen, then you must: listen! M. Scott Peck, M.D., in his book The Road Less Travel, says, “you cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time.” If you are too busy to actually listen, let the speaker know, and arrange for another time to talk. It’s simple as that!

4. You Appoint Yourself as Judge

While you’re “listening,” you decide that the speaker doesn’t know what they’re talking about. As the “expert,” you know more. So, what’s the point of even listening?

To you, the only sound you hear once you decide they’re wrong is, “Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!” But before you bang that gavel, just know you may not have all the necessary information. To do that, you’d have to really listen, wouldn’t you? Also, make sure you don’t judge someone by their accent, the way they sound, or the structure of their sentences.

My dad is nearly 91. His English is sometimes a little broken and hard to understand. People wrongly assume that he doesn’t know what he’s talking about—they’re quite mistaken. My dad is a highly intelligent man who has English as his second language. He knows what he’s saying and understands the language perfectly.

Keep that in mind when listening to a foreigner, or someone who perhaps has a difficult time putting their thoughts into words.

Now, you know some of the things that make for an inferior listener. If none of the items above resonate with you, great! You’re a better listener than most.

How To Be a Better Listener

For conversation’s sake, though, let’s just say that maybe you need some work in the listening department, and after reading this article, you make the decision to improve. What, then, are some of the things you need to do to make that happen? How can you be a better listener?

1. Pay Attention

A good listener is attentive. They’re not looking at their watch, phone, or thinking about their dinner plans. They’re focused and paying attention to what the other person is saying. This is called active listening.

According to Skills You Need, “active listening involves listening with all senses. As well as giving full attention to the speaker, it is important that the ‘active listener’ is also ‘seen’ to be listening—otherwise, the speaker may conclude that what they are talking about is uninteresting to the listener.”[1]

As I mentioned, it’s normal for the mind to wander. We’re human, after all. But a good listener will rein those thoughts back in as soon as they notice their attention waning.

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I want to note here that you can also “listen” to bodily cues. You can assume that if someone keeps looking at their watch or over their shoulder, their focus isn’t on the conversation. The key is to just pay attention.

2. Use Positive Body Language

You can infer a lot from a person’s body language. Are they interested, bored, or anxious?

A good listener’s body language is open. They lean forward and express curiosity in what is being said. Their facial expression is either smiling, showing concern, conveying empathy, etc. They’re letting the speaker know that they’re being heard.

People say things for a reason—they want some type of feedback. For example, you tell your spouse, “I had a really rough day!” and your husband continues to check his newsfeed while nodding his head. Not a good response.

But what if your husband were to look up with questioning eyes, put his phone down, and say, “Oh, no. What happened?” How would feel, then? The answer is obvious.

According to Alan Gurney,[2]

“An active listener pays full attention to the speaker and ensures they understand the information being delivered. You can’t be distracted by an incoming call or a Facebook status update. You have to be present and in the moment.

Body language is an important tool to ensure you do this. The correct body language makes you a better active listener and therefore more ‘open’ and receptive to what the speaker is saying. At the same time, it indicates that you are listening to them.”

3. Avoid Interrupting the Speaker

I am certain you wouldn’t want to be in the middle of a sentence only to see the other person holding up a finger or their mouth open, ready to step into your unfinished verbiage. It’s rude and causes anxiety. You would, more than likely, feel a need to rush what you’re saying just to finish your sentence.

Interrupting is a sign of disrespect. It is essentially saying, “what I have to say is much more important than what you’re saying.” When you interrupt the speaker, they feel frustrated, hurried, and unimportant.

Interrupting a speaker to agree, disagree, argue, etc., causes the speaker to lose track of what they are saying. It’s extremely frustrating. Whatever you have to say can wait until the other person is done.

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Be polite and wait your turn!

4. Ask Questions

Asking questions is one of the best ways to show you’re interested. If someone is telling you about their ski trip to Mammoth, don’t respond with, “that’s nice.” That would show a lack of interest and disrespect. Instead, you can ask, “how long have you been skiing?” “Did you find it difficult to learn?” “What was your favorite part of the trip?” etc. The person will think highly of you and consider you a great conversationalist just by you asking a few questions.

5. Just Listen

This may seem counterintuitive. When you’re conversing with someone, it’s usually back and forth. On occasion, all that is required of you is to listen, smile, or nod your head, and your speaker will feel like they’re really being heard and understood.

I once sat with a client for 45 minutes without saying a word. She came into my office in distress. I had her sit down, and then she started crying softly. I sat with her—that’s all I did. At the end of the session, she stood, told me she felt much better, and then left.

I have to admit that 45 minutes without saying a word was tough. But she didn’t need me to say anything. She needed a safe space in which she could emote without interruption, judgment, or me trying to “fix” something.

6. Remember and Follow Up

Part of being a great listener is remembering what the speaker has said to you, then following up with them.

For example, in a recent conversation you had with your co-worker Jacob, he told you that his wife had gotten a promotion and that they were contemplating moving to New York. The next time you run into Jacob, you may want to say, “Hey, Jacob! Whatever happened with your wife’s promotion?” At this point, Jacob will know you really heard what he said and that you’re interested to see how things turned out. What a gift!

According to new research, “people who ask questions, particularly follow-up questions, may become better managers, land better jobs, and even win second dates.”[3]

It’s so simple to show you care. Just remember a few facts and follow up on them. If you do this regularly, you will make more friends.

7. Keep Confidential Information Confidential

If you really want to be a better listener, listen with care. If what you’re hearing is confidential, keep it that way, no matter how tempting it might be to tell someone else, especially if you have friends in common. Being a good listener means being trustworthy and sensitive with shared information.

Whatever is told to you in confidence is not to be revealed. Assure your speaker that their information is safe with you. They will feel relieved that they have someone with whom they can share their burden without fear of it getting out.

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Keeping someone’s confidence helps to deepen your relationship. Also, “one of the most important elements of confidentiality is that it helps to build and develop trust. It potentially allows for the free flow of information between the client and worker and acknowledges that a client’s personal life and all the issues and problems that they have belong to them.”[4]

Be like a therapist: listen and withhold judgment.

NOTE: I must add here that while therapists keep everything in a session confidential, there are exceptions:

  1. If the client may be an immediate danger to himself or others.
  2. If the client is endangering a population that cannot protect itself, such as in the case of a child or elder abuse.

8. Maintain Eye Contact

When someone is talking, they are usually saying something they consider meaningful. They don’t want their listener reading a text, looking at their fingernails, or bending down to pet a pooch on the street. A speaker wants all eyes on them. It lets them know that what they’re saying has value.

Eye contact is very powerful. It can relay many things without anything being said. Currently, it’s more important than ever with the Covid-19 Pandemic. People can’t see your whole face, but they can definitely read your eyes.

By eye contact, I don’t mean a hard, creepy stare—just a gaze in the speaker’s direction will do. Make it a point the next time you’re in a conversation to maintain eye contact with your speaker. Avoid the temptation to look anywhere but at their face. I know it’s not easy, especially if you’re not interested in what they’re talking about. But as I said, you can redirect the conversation in a different direction or just let the person know you’ve got to get going.

Final Thoughts

Listening attentively will add to your connection with anyone in your life. Now, more than ever, when people are so disconnected due to smartphones and social media, listening skills are critical.

You can build better, more honest, and deeper relationships by simply being there, paying attention, and asking questions that make the speaker feel like what they have to say matters.

And isn’t that a great goal? To make people feel as if they matter? So, go out and start honing those listening skills. You’ve got two great ears. Now use them!

More Tips on How to Be a Better Listener

Featured photo credit: Joshua Rodriguez via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Skills You Need: Active Listening
[2] Filtered: Body language for active listening
[3] Forbes: People Will Like You More If You Start Asking Follow-up Questions
[4] TAFE NSW Sydney eLearning Moodle: Confidentiality

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