Advertising
Advertising

No Woman Should Apologize for These 8 Things Anymore

No Woman Should Apologize for These 8 Things Anymore

To be fair, no woman should have to apologize for a damn thing. Of course, as women, we all have those things we continually feel we should apologize for in our daily lives: speaking our minds, reading trashy novels…maybe watching the Twilight movies.

However, there are some big picture things we continuously apologize for that we shouldn’t have to apologize for at all. Ever. Again.

Our lifestyle choices

Some of us want kids. Some of us don’t. We shouldn’t have to apologize for choosing one or the other. Or for changing our minds about it. And there are those of us who choose to be single and still find ourselves apologizing to people for that choice. Why? It’s our choice.

What about our living arrangements? I own my house and live by myself. “Don’t you want a roommate?”  Nope. Not sorry. “You’re single, and you live with a guy who’s not your boyfriend?”  Yep. Not sorry.

Advertising

Whatever lifestyle choices you make, from your diet to your friends, never apologize for them.

Career choices

We shouldn’t have to apologize for our career choices. We can choose a career in a male-dominated field like law enforcement and swell the ranks of women police officers in the country. Or we can choose the career of stay-at-home mother. And if you think being a stay-at-home mother isn’t a full-time job, maybe you should be apologizing. It’s not a regular full-time job, but it will keep you busy as hell.

No more apologizing for asking for promotions or raises, either. If we’ve done the work, we deserve them. Ask for them with confidence. No sorries necessary.

Swearing

Oh, bloody hell. Just did it again. It’s long been argued that swearing is the sign of a weak mind. This ex-English teacher (who never swore in the classroom — I swear!) disagrees. Words obviously have power, but if you’re not swearing at someone, go for it, and don’t you dare apologize for it!

Advertising

The British Psychological Society conducted a study regarding swearing. It found that groups who used swear words during stressful situations were able to cope better than groups who were not. That’s right: Swearing is good for you!

Swear away, and never say you’re sorry after you do so!

Liking “guy” things

I like the classical “guy” things. Cars, sports, beer . . . I owned a 1971 Chevy Chevelle in high school and can talk about my favorite muscle cars for days. I once put a guy in his place at a bar when he mistook a Lotus Exige for a Lotus Elise. Wrong car, dude. I apologized for it. I shouldn’t have. Will I ever apologize for my car knowledge again? Hell no (not sorry!).

I will never (again) apologize for knowing about baseball or hockey or soccer or any other sport I love. Sports are becoming less and less the exclusive territory of “the guy,” but society still feels the need to compel us to apologize for liking sports, wanting to participate in them, or wanting to have any part of the world.  I’m still not apologizing for knowing about and loving sports!

Advertising

Liking “girly” things

On the other side of the “guy” coin are the “girly” things. I like beer or whiskey and an occasional cigar with said whiskey. But I also like wearing a skirt and my four-inch booties while I drink my booze and smoke my cigar. And I’m no longer apologizing for it.

I’m also not apologizing for being tall and wearing my high heels. If I tower over you, so be it. If I look you in the eye, deal with it. Don’t apologize for wanting to be feminine. And don’t apologize for not being feminine.

Saying no

Don’t apologize for saying no. To anything. Don’t apologize for saying no when someone asks for your number and you don’t want to give it to them. You don’t have to explain why. A simple: “No thanks,” or, “I’d rather not,” should suffice. Hopefully, the person asking will have enough tact to back off.

Don’t apologize if you want to stay home for a night in with a bottle of wine, your dog, and an NCIS binge. You don’t always have to hang out in the bar with your friends. Or go to the party with all your married friends. It’s okay to say no without saying you’re sorry. I’ve done it. I love going out or hanging out with my friends and their families. But sometimes, I need alone time, and I won’t apologize for it.

Advertising

Our sexuality

Don’t apologize for your sexuality, whatever that may be. And don’t apologize for expressing it. If you like sex, stop worrying that you will be stigmatized for your desires. If you don’t like it, the same can be said. Women’s sexuality can be affected by the expectations we set regarding it, and when we apologize for it, we are setting the expectation that we can’t be sensual or sexual beings.

Anything and everything!

Like I said at the beginning, just stop apologizing. Women seem to apologize for everything. We apologize for being in someone’s way at the grocery store. We apologize for expressing opinions to each other!  Stop it!  We certainly shouldn’t be apologizing to each other!  Women need to stand together and say, “I will no longer apologize for making a choice and having an opinion!”

More by this author

H. E. James

Writer and researcher

Fashion As Comfort: Using Clothes To Heal I Work in Healthcare; Can I Work from Home, Too? Better Office Setups for Better Office Health Understanding and Dealing with a Difficult Boss How Clever People Deal With Rude People (Instead Of Getting Angry With Them)

Trending in Communication

1 Positive and Negative Reinforcement: Which Is More Effective? 2 13 Reasons Why You Should Fail Fast to Learn Fast 3 10 Things to Do If You’re Feeling Hopeless About Your Future 4 5 Ways to Help Yourself Advance Your Mental Strength 5 Feeling Like a Failure? 10 Simple Things to Help You Rise Again

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on July 3, 2020

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

In today’s world, true peace must come from within us and our own actions. Here are 30 small things you can do on a regular basis to increase your overall sense of harmony, peace, and well-being:

1. Don’t go to every fight you’re invited to

Particularly when you’re around those who thrive on chaos, be willing to decline the invitation to join in on the drama.

2. Focus on your breath

Throughout the day, stop to take a few deep breaths. Keep stress at bay with techniques such as “square breathing.” Breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, then out for four counts, and hold again for four counts. Repeat this cycle four times.

3. Get organized and purge old items

A cluttered space often creates a cluttered spirit. Take the time to get rid of anything you haven’t used in a year and invest in organizational systems that help you sustain a level of neatness.

4. Stop yourself from being judgmental

Whenever you are tempted to have an opinion about someone else’s life, check your intentions. Judging others creates and promotes negative energy.

5. Say ‘thank you’ early and often

Start and end each day with an attitude of gratitude. Look for opportunities in your daily routine and interactions to express appreciation.

Advertising

6. Smile more

Even if you have to “fake it until you make it,” there are many scientific benefits of smiling and laughing. Also, pay attention to your facial expression when you are doing neutral activities such as driving and walking. Turn that frown upside down!

7. Don’t worry about the future

As difficult as this sounds, there is a direct connection between staying in the present and living a more peaceful life. You cannot control the future. As the old proverb goes, “Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.” Practice gently bringing your thoughts back to the present.

8. Eat real food

The closer the food is to the state from which it came from the earth, the better you will feel in eating it. Choose foods that grew from a plant over food that was made in a plant.

9. Choose being happy over being right

Too often, we sacrifice inner peace in order to make a point. It’s rarely worth it.

10. Keep technology out of the bedroom

Many studies, such as one conducted by Brigham and Women’s Hospital, have connected blue light of electronic devices before bed to adverse sleep and overall health. To make matters worse, many people report that they cannot resist checking email and social media when their cell phone is in reach of their bed, regardless of the time.

11. Make use of filtering features on social media

You may not want to “unfriend” someone completely, however you can choose whether you want to follow their posts and/or the sources of information that they share.

Advertising

12. Get comfortable with silence

When you picture someone who is the ultimate state of peace, typically they aren’t talking.

13. Listen to understand, not to respond

So often in conversations, we use our ears to give us cues about when it is our turn to say what we want to say. Practice active listening, ask questions, process, then speak.

14. Put your troubles in a bubble

Whenever you start to feel anxious, visualize the situation being wrapped in a bubble and then picture that sphere floating away.

15. Speak more slowly

Often a lack of peace manifests itself in fast or clipped speech. Take a breath, slow down, and let your thoughtful consideration drive your words.

16. Don’t procrastinate

Nothing adds stress to our lives like waiting until the last minute.

17. Buy a coloring book

Mandala coloring books for adults are becoming more popular because of their connection to creating inner peace.

Advertising

18. Prioritize yourself

You are the only person who you are guaranteed to live with 24 hours a day for the rest of your life.

19. Forgive others

Holding a grudge is hurting you exponentially more than anyone else. Let it go.

20. Check your expectations

Presumption often leads to drama. Remember the old saying, “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”

21. Engage in active play

Let your inner child come out and have some fun. Jump, dance, play, and pretend!

22. Stop criticizing yourself

The world is a hard enough place with more than enough critics. Your life is not served well by being one of them.

23. Focus your energy and attention on what you want

Thoughts, words, and actions all create energy. Energy attracts like energy. Put out what you want to get back.

Advertising

24. Assign yourself “complaint free” days.

Make a conscious decision not to complain about anything for a whole day. It might be harder than you think and the awareness will stick with you.

25. Surround yourself with people you truly enjoy being in the company of

Personalities tend to be contagious, and not everyone’s is worth catching. Be judicious in your choices.

26. Manage your money

Financial concerns rank top on the list of what causes people stress. Take the time each month to do a budget, calculate what you actually spend and sanity check that against the money you have coming in.

27. Stop trying to control everything

Not only is your inner control freak sabotaging your sense of peace, it is also likely getting in the way of external relationships as well.

28. Practice affirmations

Repeat positive phrases that depict the life and qualities you want to attract. It may not come naturally to you, but it works.

29. Get up before sunrise

Personally witnessing the dawn brings a unique sense of awe and appreciation for life.

30. Be yourself

Nothing creates more inner discord than trying to be something other than who we really are. Authenticity breeds happiness.

Featured photo credit: man watching sunrise via stokpic.com

Read Next