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Signs That You’re Carrying The Old Issues Into The New Relationship

Signs That You’re Carrying The Old Issues Into The New Relationship

I have sadly destroyed many possible partnerships by assuming they would do the same thing as my former partners did. I had to eventually learn that the new partner was an individual and not my ex. Stepping into a new relationship with old baggage actually hurts the possibility of success and happiness. Maybe you started seeing someone too quickly and didn’t give yourself enough time to heal. There is an art of letting go that needs to be processed so your new relationship has a chance.

Honoring the lessons your learned in the past relationship is a positive way you can accept whatever it was that happened. If you were disappointed because your last partner let you down, it’s important to make peace with that. If you don’t, your new relationship will be plagued with bad feelings even if your new partner does none of those things your old partner did. It’s time to cut the cord! That person can’t hurt you anymore if you don’t let them.

Don’t dwell on the past, move towards a future by enjoying the present. Don’t make up a fairy tale in your head about your new relationship. Let it unfold naturally!

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1. You Compare Your Now to Yesterday

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    Maybe you have doubts about your new relationship or you have a hard time trusting. This is pretty natural as trust has to be earned over time in a new relationship. The damaging part is when you compare your new partner to your ex. If they like a certain kind of music that your ex liked for example, it may bring back bad memories. Your mood diminishes and you start to second guess the possibility of happiness with your new partner. Instead of comparing these small things, look at the character of your new partner. Notice the important differences and perhaps in time that song that made you sad will make you happy.

    2. You Tend to Project

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      With your baggage from past relationships, there is likely a sense of self-doubt. Since you see the worst in yourself, you can tend to project those emotions to others. In your new relationship, you may judge your new partner harshly which may make you think they are judging you. One harmless sentence could lead you to get defensive. If you’re looking at your new partner with a lot of negativity for no real reason, you may want to look within and ask where it’s coming from. You may just be assuming something they’re not which really hurts them and also hurts you when the relationship ends.

      3. You Feel Paranoid

      Photo Credit: <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/76305380@N07/15942005192/">Mr_RyanTackett</a> via <a href="http://compfight.com">Compfight</a> <a href="https://www.flickr.com/help/general/#147">cc</a>

        If you’ve had a former partner cheat on you, it’s natural that you will avoid that terrible feeling again. Hopefully, you have chosen a partner that is worthy of your trust. Paranoia feels terrible and it makes you do unattractive things that are going to make you feel worse, which (of course) allows the cycle to continue.

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        Warning! Neediness, checking their phone or email, and other clingy behaviors will destroy your new relationship very quickly. You’ll feel terrible about yourself and the downward spiral will leave you disliking yourself. Be realistic about your suspicions for someone else and either give them the benefit of the doubt or graciously end the relationship.

        4. You Throw Up Walls

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          Throwing up walls is literally putting up a huge obstacle between you and your new partner. You shouldn’t hold onto secrets about your feelings or the new relationship will end up becoming stagnant. It will never go any further emotionally than the last relationship, even if the person is completely different. Don’t hold back your emotions about things. Figure out what you’re holding back from your new love so they at least have a chance. Together you have the opportunity to get through it and become stronger!

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          5. You Hold Back from Commitment

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            Maybe you’re a free spirit and just love to be alone and a person of the world. That’s great! For those of you that don’t want to commit because you’re afraid, not so great. To avoid something like being in love because you’re afraid prevents you from living a full life.

            Don’t allow your past relationships to rob you of the amazing feeling of love that is possible. Take the leap of faith if you want to feel and give love instead of holding yourself back.

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            Loraine Couturier

            Content creation and marketing

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            Last Updated on October 18, 2018

            50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

            50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

            Life is filled with highs and lows —happiness and struggles that will test your resilience and integrity, push you to overcome challenges and leave you with lessons that will make you even stronger on your way up.

            It’s the way you feel and think about yourself, including your expectations and beliefs about what is possible to you, greatly determines everything that happens to you.

            It all starts with your thoughts. When you change your thoughts, you transform the quality of your life. (Right, Nancy’s story is a typical example!)

            Below is a list of the best motivational quotes to inspire you to start your day with a blast:

            Quotes for self-assurance

            1. Don’t downgrade your dream just to fit your reality, upgrade your conviction to match your destiny.

              2. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.

                3. You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.

                  4. The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others

                    5. You attract what you are, not what you want. If you want great, then be great.

                      6. It’s not who you are that holds you behind, it’s who you think your are not.

                        Quotes about positivity

                        7. Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right.

                          8. You should never regret anything in life. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it is experience.

                            9. Falling down is an accident, staying down is a choice.

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                              10. If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that.

                                11. Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.

                                  12. Don’t be afraid to give up the good and go for great.

                                    13. Remember that life’s greatest lessons are usually learned from worst times and from the worst mistakes.

                                      Quotes for work and success

                                      14. Don’t talk, just act. Don’t say, just show. Don’t promise, just prove.

                                        15. Never stop doing great just because someone doesn’t give you credit.

                                          16. Discipline is doing what needs to be done, even if you don’t want to.

                                            17. Work while they sleep. Learn while they party. Save while they spend. Live like they dream.

                                              18. The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire, not things we fear.

                                                19. Never apologize for having high standards, people who really want to be in your life will rise to meet them.

                                                  20. If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.

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                                                    21. Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it, time will pass anyway.

                                                      22. Don’t fear failure. Fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today.

                                                        23. A hill is just another opportunity to leave your competition behind.

                                                          24. Don’t quit. You’re already in pain. You’re already hurt. Get a reward from it.

                                                            25. Hustle until you no longer need to introduce yourself.

                                                              26. You didn’t come this far only to come this far.

                                                                27. Be selective in your battles for sometimes peace is better than being right.

                                                                  28 If we keep doing what we are doing, we’re going to keep getting what we’re getting.

                                                                    29. You will never know your limits until you push yourself to them.

                                                                      30. Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do.

                                                                        31. The man on top of the mountain didn’t fall there.

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                                                                          32. If your dreams don’t scare you, they are not big enough.

                                                                            33. If you can’t handle stress, you won’t manage success.

                                                                              34. Don’t be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams.

                                                                                35. Don’t mistake silence for weakness. Smart people don’t plan big moves out loud.

                                                                                  36. Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

                                                                                    37. Obsessed is the word the lazy use to describe dedicated.

                                                                                      38. You become who you spend your time with.

                                                                                        39. Be stubborn about your goals and flexible about your methods.

                                                                                          40. Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.

                                                                                            41. If you don’t build your dreams, someone else will hire you to build theirs.

                                                                                              42. Between stimulus and response is our greatest power –the freedom to choose.

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                                                                                                43. What comes easy won’t last, what lasts won’t come easy.

                                                                                                  44. Don’t limit your challenges, challenge your limits.

                                                                                                    45. Work until your idols become your rivals.

                                                                                                      Quotes about money

                                                                                                      46. Formal education will make you a living. Self-education will make you a fortune.

                                                                                                        47. I create new enemies every day, it’s called business.

                                                                                                          48. When you have a Million Dollar vision, don’t surround yourself with 1 cent minds.

                                                                                                            49. You can’t get rich thinking poor.

                                                                                                              50. Doing what is comfortable is rarely profitable.

                                                                                                                51. If you can count your money, work harder.

                                                                                                                  If you find yourself feeling lost and frustrated, it’s never too late to change things up. Check out this guide:

                                                                                                                  How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

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