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Advantages to Marrying Your High School Sweetheart

Advantages to Marrying Your High School Sweetheart

Most people advise against marrying your high school sweetheart. There are a myriad of different reasons from not being able to experience dating others to being married too young. Despite the negative connotation, there are also a lot of benefits as well that are not often mentioned. It is rare, but personally for me having friends who were high school sweethearts and later went on to get married proved that it works for some couples. Read on to learn why building your life with someone who you have dated since you were a teen can be a really positive thing.

1. You will never have to worry about the holidays

When you get married the inevitable question of where you will spend the holidays comes up. If you and your spouse come from hometowns on the opposite sides of the country it can make this situation even more problematic. Marrying someone from your hometown means that you will never have this issue. No more fighting over which side of the family you will see for Thanksgiving and which side you will see for Christmas. Phew!

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    Photo source: Flickr

    2. You will have someone by your side who watched you mature and grow

    Looking back on your teenage years, there are some things that make you laugh in disbelief and sometimes in embarrassment. Having a spouse that was right there for all those awkward moments (!) and can share your stories of youth firsthand is something special that you two will always share. Watching each other grow up into the adults today can make you appreciate each other more, knowing how far you both have come.

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      Photo source: Flickr

      3. You know you will have someone who is willing to stick it out through the hard times

      High school is not always the easiest time and having someone who was willing to help navigate those times with you is a keeper. From self-confidence issues to fighting with your parents, it is nice to have a spouse who was a great support system in those years! You’ve been through the tough stuff and you know they will continue to be by your side during future hardships.

      4. You will have someone by your side that knows how to ride out rough patches in your relationship

      Long-term relationships that begin in high school have their fair share of hardships that couples have to endure. Whether it was going through a temporary separation in junior year or suffering the heartache of long-distance relationships, you as a couple have seen it all! Being able to survive the ups and downs of a longtime relationship makes you that much more resilient as a married couple.

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        Photo source: Flickr

        5. You got to be there for each others’ important life milestones

        Graduating high school together, being there for each others’ college graduations, navigating the real world together. Having a spouse who you have shared these important milestones together with is priceless. You do not have to explain certain significant moments in your life, because you spouse was a firsthand witness to all of them and vice versa.

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        6. You have some who knows what you were like when you were young

        Most people when they get married only know their spouses as adults, with many different responsibilities. Marry someone from high school means that you knew your spouse from way back when they were carefree teenagers! Remember what it was like when you did not have to worry about rent, taxes and career goals? Knowing your spouse from their high school years give you an extra perspective on the person you married and also give you the ability to remind them to embrace their younger self every once in awhile when they are struggling under the weight of adult responsibilities.

        Featured photo credit: Flickr via flickr.com

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        Last Updated on August 6, 2020

        6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

        6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

        We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

        “Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

        Are we speaking the same language?

        My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

        When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

        Am I being lazy?

        When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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        Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

        Early in the relationship:

        “Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

        When the relationship is established:

        “Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

        It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

        Have I actually got anything to say?

        When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

        A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

        When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

        Am I painting an accurate picture?

        One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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        How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

        Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

        What words am I using?

        It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

        Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

        Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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        Is the map really the territory?

        Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

        A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

        I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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