Advertising
Advertising

12 Phrases People With Anxiety Are Totally Fed Up With

12 Phrases People With Anxiety Are Totally Fed Up With

Anxiety is a terrible disease. Not only do those who suffer from it live in a constant state of worry and panic, but they also have to deal with those who don’t truly understand the nature of the disease. Although friends of those with anxiety are, for the most part, attempting to be sympathetic, sometimes their “words of advice” end up doing more harm than good. Even if you are trying to help, you should never catch yourself saying the following to a person suffering from anxiety.

1. “Stop being so negative!”

People with anxiety wish they could stop focusing on the possibility of bad things happening, but they can’t. Their minds are full of what-if scenarios, and will unwittingly latch on to the worst-case outcomes as if they’re 100% guaranteed. For people with anxiety, pessimism and realism are one in the same.

2. “You just like being miserable.”

We’ve all heard people say “you’re just not happy unless you have something to complain about,” but to a person with anxiety, this simply isn’t the case. They don’t like being miserable, but for many of them, it’s the only way they know how to live.

Advertising

3. “You’re so dramatic.”

Life isn’t a TV show. People with anxiety don’t sit around writing their lives out in a script in an attempt to make every situation they face as dramatic as possible. They don’t thrive off of the panicky feelings they get, and they certainly aren’t entertained by them. They know they’re dramatic, and would give anything to not be.

4. “You’re being ridiculous.”

Along with knowing they’re dramatic at times, people with anxiety often know their feelings and intuitions are ridiculous, but they can’t help feeling them. Also, by saying this, you put a label on a friend because of an illness that they can’t help. Do you really think that will help at all?

5. “Try not to think about it.”

This is like saying “Stop thinking of purple elephants.” If you tell someone, especially a person with anxiety, to stop thinking about something, all they’re going to do is think abut it (no matter what “it” is). As a friend, the best thing you can do is steer clear of talking about “it” altogether, and bring up just about anything else to the person’s mind.

Advertising

6. “Get over yourself.”

Those who don’t understand anxiety might think the sufferer is just throwing a pity-party. If anything, though, it’s the complete opposite. People suffering from anxiety hate being in the spotlight and don’t want to be the center of attention. They’re not making a huge scene because they want people to feel bad for them; they truly cannot help themselves.

7. “What do you have to worry about?”

A person who truly suffers from anxiety will probably answer this question with “everything and nothing all at once.” They know that, for the most part, there really is nothing to worry about, but since they can’t stop worrying about something (usually an intangible, unreachable something), they tend to worry even more. And insinuating they don’t have anything to worry about, of course, only exacerbates the issue.

8. “You just need to try harder.”

Though anxiety obviously creates observable reactions from those who suffer from it, it’s an internal disease of the mind that can’t be seen by others. Saying that a sufferer needs to “try harder” to deal with their issues makes it clear that you have no idea how much they are struggling to keep it together at any and all times.

Advertising

9. “It must be horrible being you.”

File this one under “Gee, thanks.” While you might think such a statement is a sympathetic way of saying “I feel your pain,” a person with anxiety is just going to hear “Sucks to be you.” They really can’t imagine what it’s like to not suffer from anxiety, but would do absolutely anything to live life free of chronic worry. They know it’s horrible; they don’t need you to reinforce that.

10. “Everyone feels that way sometimes.”

Again, this is a vain attempt to commiserate with an anxious individual, but all it does is minimize everything the person is going through. Sure, everyone feels uneasy every once in a while, but the definition of anxiety is a chronic feeling of uneasiness. By definition, unless you feel anxious all the time, you have no idea how a person with true anxiety feels.

11. “You’re just lazy.”

At least the rest of the items on this list are attempts at being sympathetic; this one’s just straight-up mean. It goes along with “you need to try harder,” as if a person with anxiety deserves to have to put extra effort into beating their disease. And, again, just because you can’t see how hard they’re trying doesn’t mean they’re not.

Advertising

12. “It could be worse.”

Of course it could be worse. But then, once you say that, all an anxious person is going to think about is how much worse it could be. As I said before, those suffering from anxiety tend to extrapolate and predict chains of occurrences that will lead to even worse scenarios. Saying “it could be worse” might be an attempt to let a friend know they don’t have it that bad, but all it really does is lead to them coming up with hundreds of what-if scenarios leading to pain and suffering.

Featured photo credit: Anxiety / Diane Northman via farm9.staticflickr.com

More by this author

20 Little Signs You’ve Found The One 8 Signs of a Man Who Will Never Ever Stop Loving You 8 Things To Remember When Dating Someone With A Guarded Heart 14 Signs You’re Not Drinking Enough Water Which Type of Visa Do You Need to Travel Abroad?

Trending in Health

1 The Ultimate Guide to Help You Sleep Through the Night Tonight 2 Why Am I Exhausted? The Real Causes and How to Fix It Forever 3 How to Manage Stress (A Step-by-Step Guide to Turn Stress Into Success) 4 How to Stop Feeling Tired All the Time (And the Real Causes Explained) 5 Why Am I So Tired? 10 Reasons You’re Extremely Tired And How to Fix It

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on October 16, 2018

The Ultimate Guide to Help You Sleep Through the Night Tonight

The Ultimate Guide to Help You Sleep Through the Night Tonight

It’s well past midnight and you’ve got to get up in less than six hours. You toss and turn all night. Before you know it, another hour passes by and you start panicking.

If I don’t get to sleep in the next 30 minutes, I’m going to be exhausted tomorrow!”

One thing is for sure, you’re not alone. Over 70M+ Americans have stated that they don’t get the proper sleep they need at night.[1] So what could possibly be causing this insomnia epidemic?

Throughout my entrepreneurial journey of building my language learning company, I have experimented and researched dozens of best sleep practices. Some have flopped but a few have dramatically improved the quality of my life and work.

In this article, I’ll look into the reason why you’re sleep deprived and how to sleep through the night tonight.

Why you can’t sleep through the night

The first step to improving anything is getting to the bottom of the root problem. Different studies have shown the reasons why most people cannot sleep well at night.[2] Here are the main ones that the average person faces:

Advertising

Stress

If you’ve ever stayed up at night worrying about something, know that it’s a major sleep inhibitor. When you’re feeling stress, your mind and body becomes more activated, making it incredibly difficult to fall asleep. Even when you do manage to sleep, it won’t be deep enough to help you feel rested the next day.

Exposure to blue light before sleep time

We’re exposed to harmful blue light on a daily basis through the use of our digital screens. If you’ve never heard of blue light, it’s part of the visible light spectrum that suppresses melatonin, our sleep hormones. Other harmful effects include digital eye strains and macular cellular damage.

While daytime exposure to blue light is not very harmful, night time exposure tricks our brain into thinking it’s daytime. By keeping your brain alert and suppressing melatonin, your mind is unable to shut down and relax before bedtime.

Eating close to bedtime

Eating too late can actually be an issue for many people, especially those who are older than 40. The reason is, eating before laying down increases the chances of Gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), in which stomach acid backflows into the esophagus.

Another reason not to eat too late is sleep quality. Even if you manage to sleep right after eating, it’s likely that you’ll wake up tired. Instead of letting your body rest during sleep, it has to digest the food that was entered before bedtime.

Rule of thumb: eat 3-4 hours before bedtime.

Advertising

Medical conditions

In some cases, it could be medical conditions that cause your sleep problems. If you can’t relate yourself to the above reasons or any of these common sleep problem causes, you should visit the doctor.

The vicious sleep cycle

The biggest danger to repeating the bad habits mentioned above is the negative cycle that it can take you through. A bad night’s sleep can affect not only your energy but your willpower and decision making skills.

Here’s an example of a bad sleep pattern:

You get a bad night’s sleep
–> You feel tired and stressful throughout the day.
–> You compensate it with unhealthy habits (for example junk food, skipping exercises, watching Netflix etc.)
–> You can’t sleep well (again) the next night.

    You can imagine what could happen if this cycle repeats over a longer period of time.

    Advertising

    How to sleep better (throughout the night)

    To help you break the vicious cycle and stop waking up in the middle of the night, I’ll explain to you a list of actionable steps to solve your trouble staying asleep.

    1. Take control over the last 90 minutes of your night

    What you do (or don’t do) before bedtime have significant impact on the quality of your sleep. Many times, it can be the difference between staying up until 4am and sleeping like a baby.

    Here are a few suggestions:

    • Go from light to dark – Darkness stimulates production of the sleep hormone melatonin. Turn off unused light around the house, and think about investing into warm light that you can use in the bedroom before bedtime.
    • Avoid screens (or wear blue light blocking glasses) – Keep the bedroom a technology-free zone as the light from electronic devices can disturb your sleep. If you need to work, wear blue light blocking glasses (also known as computer glasses) throughout or before you sleep to prevent sleep disruption.
    • Find an activity that helps you to wind down  This could be anything that calms you down, and reduces thinking (especially unnecessary stress). Fir example, listening to soothing/good feel music, taking a hot bath, reading or meditating.
    • Keep any electronics you have on the other side of the room or outside the room – One of the most harmful things that can disrupt your sleep is the notifications you get from your smartphones. The simplest way to avoid this is to keep it away from you.
    • Create a bedtime routine – A night routine is a couple of things you do prior to going to bed. By doing these things every night, you’ll have a more restful and high-quality sleep. Learn how to pick up a night routine here: The Ultimate Night Routine Guide to Sleep Better and Wake Up Productive

    2. Eat the right nutrients (and avoid the wrong ones)

    What you eat (not just when we eat) plays a critical role in your sleep quality. If you’re ever in doubt of what to eat to improve your sleep, take the following into consideration:

    • Kiwi – This green fruit may be the ultimate pre-bed snack. When volunteers ate two kiwis an hour before hitting the hay, they slept almost a full extra hour. Kiwis are full of vitamins C and E, serotonin and folate—all of which may help you snooze.
    • Soy foods – Foods made with soy such as tofu, miso and edamame, are rich in isoflavones. These compounds increase the production of serotonin, a brain chemical that influences the body’s sleep-wake cycle.
    • Fiber-rich foods – Eating more fiber could be key for better sleep. Eating fiber was associated with more restorative slow-wave sleep—the more you eat, the better you sleep—per a study published in the Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine. Fiber prevents blood sugar surges that may lower melatonin. Get a fiber boost from beans, artichokes, bran cereal and quinoa.
    • Salmon – Most fish, especially salmon, halibut and tuna boost vitamin B6, which is needed to make melatonin— a sleep-inducing hormone triggered by darkness.

    3. Adjust your sleep temperature

    Once you’ve gone through the first 2 recommendations, the last step to experiment with is temperature. According to Sleep.org, the ideal temperature for sleep is 60-67 Farenheit. This may be cooler than what most people are used to, but keep in mind that our body temperature changes once we fall asleep.

    Rule of thumb: sleeping in cooler temperature is better for sleep quality than warmer temperature.

    Advertising

    Find out how to maintain the optimal temperature to sleep better here: How to Sleep Faster with the Best Temperature

    Sleep better form now on

    Congrats on making it to the end of this guide on sleep. If you’re serious about taking the necessary steps in improving your sleep, remember to take it one step at a time.

    I recommend trying just one of the steps mentioned such as taking a hot bath, blocking out blue light at night, or sleeping in cooler temperature. From there, see how it impacts your sleep quality and you can keep doing what works, and throw away what doesn’t.

    As long as you follow these steps cautiously and diligently, I know you’ll see improved results in your sleep!

    Featured photo credit: pixabay via pixabay.com

    Reference

    Read Next