You have a friend who is smart, hot, sophisticated, fun, good-looking and sexy. You feel they are perfect and you want to be with them forever. But one more thing, they are gay. There is just everything that can be right in the relationship except any romantic involvement. And you have to understand these things:
You know everything can’t be perfect
Whether you think it right or not, you suddenly know that this person cannot be for you. You want to explore options but whatever you think of and try to picture will not just be the perfect story.
You know that they will always want to be friends
There is nothing as difficult or as straining as reaching a point where things just become stagnated. There is really no progress in the relationship.
You will always be in love with that person
You love the person but somehow even while there are prospects for being better friends, things won’t just go beyond that.
They have a way of making you stay in their lives
They don’t make you go away. You may be uncomfortable with the way things are or how you have become great friends without any romantic displays but you must admit that they have a way of becoming relevant in your world.
You daydream of possibilities
You ask yourself questions of how things would have been if they were straight.
You wonder why things cannot happen the way you want it to
Such fantasies will only help you develop better understanding of who they really are and you are okay with it.
You hate the situation but you love the closeness
You do not like things working out the way you want it to, but you must admit that you love the closeness in the relationship because you can tell them almost anything and they can tell you almost anything. You become comfortable with revealing yourself to them.
You know it may never be over
What happens between you two would never be over. At least the thoughts of it will always linger. The thoughts of you never being together will always hurt in a way.
You become stronger
The situation somehow makes you emotionally stronger over time. You start becoming aware of the way things are and you are okay.
You have nostalgic feelings
The feeling you have can be sometimes nostalgic because you are happy that you found them regardless of the dissimilarities. As they say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. This applies in this case also.
You sometimes feel stupid
You sometimes feel you are in the wrong and that you are not good enough or something.
You feel vulnerable
When you are with them it is hard to be in control of your feelings. You wish you were never caught up in the drama and you have to start learning how to deal with the situation you are in.
You deny reality for a while
You wanted to think that things would change and that they will be yours somehow. You wanted to fight reality and waltz into some place different where things were different and they loved you just as much as you love them. You wanted to be with him so bad that you fought the certainty of facts that you would never be with him.
You cry a lot
You can’t say everything because words cannot express how you feel. Your heart breaks in small pieces and you try to figure out whose fault it is after all. But you cannot point fingers or blame anyone but assume the responsibility of being in love with the wrong person.
You understand that things would definitely work out
At some point you understand that the world is not against you but there are other persons out there who want a perfect relationship with you. You can learn to be optimistic rather than becoming a victim of your emotions and loving someone who is gay.
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