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Understand These Biological Differences To Communicate Better With The Opposite Sex

Understand These Biological Differences To Communicate Better With The Opposite Sex

Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. This popular saying goes back to Roman times. Mars represented the god of war; Venus the god of love. It was a statement to reflect the different gender identities in society.

Though men and women are not from separate planets, it can feel like it when it comes to communicating. If you can understand these biological differences, then you will be able to better communicate with the opposite sex.

Women are far better communicators than men

Women excel in verbal and nonverbal communication. The average woman speaks three times as much as a man. There is a “language protein” found in women that is not present in men which helps them start off with better social and communication skills. Years of communicating and an effective language gene allow women to be effective communicators.

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This is the reason women have the innate ability to send men metamessages. Women send indirect messages with the expectation that men will decode them. Men often miss these hidden messages because men are not on the same communication level as women.

So when men need to communicate with a woman, they need to watch her body language, listen to the tone of her voice, and, for the most part, ignore her words. She is sending you a codex seraphinianus. Pay attention or you might miss the meaning.

Women, when communicating with men, need to be specific about what they want or need. Men are not able to pick-up on the frustration in a woman’s voice when they say things are “fine”.

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Men speak to the point; women include every detail

Men do not enjoy small talk. They want to get to the facts and straight to the point. When they communicate, feelings are removed because they are seen as irrelevant. Women enjoy small talk and include every last detail of the story because they think it is all relevant.

This difference in thinking is caused by the way our brains are wired. Men have a majority of brain connections within a single hemisphere. Women have the most connections between hemispheres. This allows women to recall and remember every detail from the story, including the emotions.

When communicating with women, men should understand that women think every part of their story is important. Even if you disagree. Learn to communicate and tell a story that includes more than the facts. She will appreciate you for it.

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When communicating with men, women should try to cut out the fluff that men think is irrelevant. Get to the point of the story quicker.

Men communicate to dominate; women communicate to connect

Humans are one of the only species to have a paradox where they pair up, and yet desire polygamy. History and evolution has caused males to compete for mates. When life was a constant challenge, men tried to produce as many offspring as possible for survival.

Men would compete for women. A woman’s ability to produce more kids would not change. She is limited by the gestation and recovery period. As a result, men tend to communicate to dominate. They have learned through years of evolution that they will need to dominate for survival. This might be the reason men form shallow connections with multiple women.

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Women could not have as many partners as men, so they tend to form a deeper connection. This might be the reason women communicate in an effort to connect. They want to talk about their feelings and emotions.

Men need to work on connecting with women through communication. Do not make it about impressing her. Women can talk to men in a more dominant form without men feeling threatened.

Featured photo credit: Couple/mrhayata via flickr.com

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Alex Craig

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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