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You’ll Go Through These 6 Stages In A Long-Term Relationship

You’ll Go Through These 6 Stages In A Long-Term Relationship

All relationships begin differently. Every couple has their own story. Maybe you were friends for years before you started dating. Or maybe the two of you connected by swiping right on the infamous dating, Tinder. Successful relationships can stem from a number of different instances and they all follow their own particular path. Still, there is a common pattern of stages that almost all long-term relationships follow.

These stages are categorized by the things you’ll say while you’re in them.

Many of them are positive, filled with infatuation and enthusiasm. These stages usually occur at the beginning of a relationship, when you just can’t get enough of each other. The later stages require the most time and attention, whether it’s with your partner or with other people in your life that your relationship has caused you to neglect.

It’s important to acknowledge which stage you’re in (especially during the tougher ones) and to understand that they are all normal.

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1.The “I Told My Friends About You” Stage

As soon as you tell your friends about the girl you’ve been seeing (or hooking up with), and then go back and tell that girl that you told your friends about her, that’s when you know things are getting serious.

This is also known as the infatuation stage, in which you find yourself bringing them up during random conversations. You find yourself wanting to see them on your lunch breaks or at ridiculous hours of the night. This is also the stage when your friends might complain about how you’re spending your time. People in your life will start to miss you, but will hopefully be supportive of your newfound happiness, and wish to be involved.

2.The “I Want You to Meet My Parents” Stage.

Meeting the family is usually a big deal in a relationship. It’s a subconscious way of welcoming that person into our lives and making sure they fit. This stage comes along with a sense of comfort. You’re comfortable enough to introduce them, and know that they will be comfortable enough to be introduced (without feeling freaked out or pressured), to the people who matter to you most.

It also means that you want to seek validation that you’re with the right person. You’re interested in gaining the approval of the people whose opinion you value.  While this stage is often a joyful experience, it can also spark a lot of anxiety for all parties involved. If you’re experiencing stress, it just means that you want it to go well.

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If you’re lucky, and have found the right person, your family and friends will approve and be both loving and supportive.

3. The “I Love You” Stage.

It’s difficult to put a timeframe on this stage since we all experience love differently. It takes some people a lot of time to get there, while others throw the word around carelessly. My suggestion for this stage is to draw it out as long as possible. Don’t drop the “L” bomb the first time you feel it. Waiting to say, “I love you” will only make it mean more when you finally do.

4.The “It Bothers Me When You…” Stage.

For me personally, this stage has always occurred about nine months into the relationship. At this point, you’ve had enough time together to see that, as much as you hoped, your partner isn’t perfect. (Nobody is…not even including you…) It might be the first time they’ve displayed jealous or a lack of patience, or they’ve said something you don’t agree with.

If you find yourself in this predicament, it is absolutely critical that you address it. Right now! Before you go and vent to all your friends about it and self-sabotage the entire relationship. Most concerns, at this point in the game, are minor and only become larger if you ignore them.

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Communication is crucial. You have to realize that, although you work well together, you are still different people. And that’s OK. Can you accept or learn to appreciate these imperfections? If the answer is yes, you should be able to navigate smoothly in and out of this stage into the next one in your relationship.

5. The “What Do You Want?” Stage.

This stage occurs after a year, or multiple years of being together. It’s when you find out if your goals match up. It’s when you start considering moving in together. It’s when you start discussing a future together and deciding if your desires in life coincide.

This the most pivotal stage of a long-term relationship. It will make or break you. Communication and absolute honesty is key when you are addressing the future. This is not the time to sugarcoat or lie about anything. If you do, you’ll likely find yourself unsatisfied in the future.

6.The “I Want That Too” Stage, also known as the “I Still Love You” Stage.

This is the most fulfilling stage of all. If you have reached it, take a moment to give yourself a pat on the back. You deserve it.

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Long-term relationships are not easy. Just look at the increase of divorces every year. We are all different, and we live in a time of social media and online dating. Many relationships are destined to fail from the get-go, but long-term relationships are not impossible. Figure out what it is you want out of life, and then find someone who wants the same thing.

Once you’ve found them, learn their imperfections, and if you still love them at the end of the day, don’t let go.

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Last Updated on December 10, 2019

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

Here’s the truth: your effectiveness at life is not what it could be. You’re missing out.

Each day passes by and you have nothing to prove that it even happened. Did you achieve something? Go on a date? Have an emotional breakthrough? Who knows?

But what you do know is that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

Our lives are full of hidden gems of knowledge and insight, and the most recent events in our lives contain the most useful gems of all. Do you know why? It’s simple, those hidden lessons are the most up to date, meaning they have the largest impact on what we’re doing right now.

But the question is, how do you get those lessons? There’s a simple way to do it, and it doesn’t involve time machines:

Journal writing.

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Improved mental clarity, the ability to see our lives in the big picture, as well as serving as a piece of evidence cataloguing every success we’ve ever had; we are provided all of the above and more by doing some journal writing.

Journal writing is a useful and flexible tool to help shed light on achieving your goals.

Here’s 5 smart reasons why you should do journal writing:

1. Journals Help You Have a Better Connection with Your Values, Emotions, and Goals

By journaling about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you understand your relationships with these things better. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.

Consider this:

Perhaps you’ve spent the last year or so working at a job you don’t like. It would be easy to just suck it up and keep working with your head down, going on as if it’s supposed to be normal to not like your job. Nobody else is complaining, so why should you, right?

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But a little journal writing will set things straight for you. You don’t like your job. You feel like it’s robbing you of happiness and satisfaction, and you don’t see yourself better there in the future.

The other workers? Maybe they don’t know, maybe they don’t care. But you do, you know and care enough to do something about it. And you’re capable of fixing this problem because your journal writing allows you to finally be honest with yourself about it.

2. Journals Improve Mental Clarity and Help Improve Your Focus

If there’s one thing journal writing is good for, it’s clearing the mental clutter.

How does it work? Simply, whenever you have a problem and write about it in a journal, you transfer the problem from your head to the paper. This empties the mind, allowing allocation of precious resources to problem-solving rather than problem-storing.

Let’s say you’ve been juggling several tasks at work. You’ve got data entry, testing, e-mails, problems with the boss, and so on—enough to overwhelm you—but as you start journal writing, things become clearer and easier to understand: Data entry can actually wait till Thursday; Bill kindly offered earlier to do my testing; For e-mails, I can check them now; the boss is just upset because Becky called in sick, etc.

You become better able to focus and reason your tasks out, and this is an indispensable and useful skill to have.

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3. Journals Improve Insight and Understanding

As a positive consequence of improving your mental clarity, you become more open to insights you may have missed before. As you write your notes out, you’re essentially having a dialogue with yourself. This draws out insights that you would have missed otherwise; it’s almost as if two people are working together to better understand each other. This kind of insight is only available to the person who has taken the time to connect with and understand themselves in the form of writing.

Once you’ve gotten a few entries written down, new insights can be gleaned from reading over them. What themes do you see in your life? Do you keep switching goals halfway through? Are you constantly dating the same type of people who aren’t good for you? Have you slowly but surely pushed people out of your life for fear of being hurt?

All of these questions can be answered by simply self-reflecting, but you can only discover the answers if you’ve captured them in writing. These questions are going to be tough to answer without a journal of your actions and experiences.

4. Journals Track Your Overall Development

Life happens, and it can happen fast. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and look around at what’s happening to us at each moment. We don’t get to see the step-by-step progress that we’re making in our own lives. So what happens? One day it’s the future, and you have no idea how you’ve gotten there.

Journal writing allows you to see how you’ve changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you took a misstep and fell.

The great thing about journals is that you’ll know what that misstep was, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen again—all because you made sure to log it, allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes.

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5. Journals Facilitate Personal Growth

The best thing about journal writing is that no matter what you end up writing about, it’s hard to not grow from it. You can’t just look at a past entry in which you acted shamefully and say “that was dumb, anyway!” No, we say “I will never make a dumb choice like that again!”

It’s impossible not to grow when it comes to journal writing. That’s what makes journal writing such a powerful tool, whether it’s about achieving goals, becoming a better person, or just general personal-development. No matter what you use it for, you’ll eventually see yourself growing as a person.

Kickstart Journaling

How can journaling best be of use to you? To vent your emotions? To help achieve your goals? To help clear your mind? What do you think makes journaling such a useful life skill?

Know the answer? Then it’s about time you reap the benefits of journal writing and start putting pen to paper.

Here’s what you can do to start journaling:

Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com

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