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6 Small Things You Can Do To Make A Big Difference In Your Relationship

6 Small Things You Can Do To Make A Big Difference In Your Relationship

Successful relationships don’t just come together haphazardly. They take effort from both people involved to continue building upon the foundation on which the relationship began. Too often, life gets in the way, and many of the little things fall through the cracks. Because of this, it’s important to remember that a relationship should be one of the most meaningful aspects of a person’s life, and it’s worth every ounce of energy you put into it.

Here are a few small things that can make a big difference in your relationship.

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1. Give long embraces

Emo band Saves the Day once said “nothing’s like being held sometimes.” While I’d advise you to take caution when taking advice from an emo band, you should definitely hold onto this one. After a long day’s work, there really isn’t much better than spending a few minutes wrapped in each other’s arms. It allows you to forget the outside world, if only for a few moments, and remember why you both work so hard in the first place.

2. Leave little reminders around for them to find

I don’t think there’s much else that makes me smile more than seeing a little note from my wife attached to my windshield when getting in my car in the morning. The little things that let your significant other know that you’re thinking of them can completely turn their day around. Even texting a picture of something that reminded you of them is enough. Everyone loves to feel important; show the person you love the most just how important they are every chance you get.

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3. Show gratitude for everything they do for you

You undoubtedly appreciate your significant other very much. But do you show it all the time? Don’t just show your thankfulness around birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays. Make it a point to thank them every day for even the tiniest of favors. Whenever they do something for you, they’re allowing you to relax just a little longer. Thank them for it. It shows you don’t take them for granted, and you acknowledge just how much they mean to you.

4. Make their life easier whenever you can

On the flip side of the last point, you should do everything you can to make their life easier. Even if that means stopping at the store at the end of a long day or running back out if they forgot to grab something. Clean the house or have dinner ready on the table when they get home. Keep in mind everything they’ve given you, tangible and intangible, as a reminder for when you don’t “feel like” doing something, and do it anyway, knowing it will ease their troubles a little more.

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5. Take a break from busyness for them

We all lead busy lives. But you should never be so busy that you don’t have time to spend with your significant other. Otherwise, what’s the point of working so hard? I’m not saying you should completely blow off your responsibilities to spend time with your significant other, but definitely recognize when you’ve spent way too much time on work-related obligations and hit the pause button. Sometimes, you just need to put everything else on the back burner and enjoy some quality time with your love.

6. Tell them why you love them

You probably tell one another you love each other all the time. Obviously, there’s nothing wrong with that. But take it a step further: tell them why you love them. Make them understand exactly what it is that keeps you tied to them. Put some thought into it, too. You’ll likely end up finding even more reasons to love them than you had realized in the first place.

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Featured photo credit: Here Are The 4 Key Ingredients For A Loving Relationship / Derek Collinson via farm6.staticflickr.com

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Last Updated on December 3, 2019

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

There are so many lessons I wish I had learned while I was young enough to appreciate and apply them. The thing with wisdom, and often with life lessons in general, is that they’re learned in retrospect, long after we needed them. The good news is that other people can benefit from our experiences and the lessons we’ve learned.

Here’re 10 important life lessons you should learn early on:

1. Money Will Never Solve Your Real Problems

Money is a tool; a commodity that buys you necessities and some nice “wants,” but it is not the panacea to your problems.

There are a great many people who are living on very little, yet have wonderfully full and happy lives… and there are sadly a great many people are living on quite a lot, yet have terribly miserable lives.

Money can buy a nice home, a great car, fabulous shoes, even a bit of security and some creature comforts, but it cannot fix a broken relationship, or cure loneliness, and the “happiness” it brings is only fleeting and not the kind that really and truly matters. Happiness is not for sale. If you’re expecting the “stuff” you can buy to “make it better,” you will never be happy.

2. Pace Yourself

Often when we’re young, just beginning our adult journey we feel as though we have to do everything at once. We need to decide everything, plan out our lives, experience everything, get to the top, find true love, figure out our life’s purpose, and do it all at the same time.

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Slow down—don’t rush into things. Let your life unfold. Wait a bit to see where it takes you, and take time to weigh your options. Enjoy every bite of food, take time to look around you, let the other person finish their side of the conversation. Allow yourself time to think, to mull a bit.

Taking action is critical. Working towards your goals and making plans for the future is commendable and often very useful, but rushing full-speed ahead towards anything is a one-way ticket to burnout and a good way to miss your life as it passes you by.

3. You Can’t Please Everyone

“I don’t know the secret to success, but the secret to failure is trying to please everyone” – Bill Cosby.

You don’t need everyone to agree with you or even like you. It’s human nature to want to belong, to be liked, respected and valued, but not at the expense of your integrity and happiness. Other people cannot give you the validation you seek. That has to come from inside.

Speak up, stick to your guns, assert yourself when you need to, demand respect, stay true to your values.

4. Your Health Is Your Most Valuable Asset

Health is an invaluable treasure—always appreciate, nurture, and protect it. Good health is often wasted on the young before they have a chance to appreciate it for what it’s worth.

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We tend to take our good health for granted, because it’s just there. We don’t have to worry about it, so we don’t really pay attention to it… until we have to.

Heart disease, bone density, stroke, many cancers—the list of many largely preventable diseases is long, so take care of your health now, or you’ll regret it later on.

5. You Don’t Always Get What You Want

“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon

No matter how carefully you plan and how hard you work, sometimes things just don’t work out the way you want them to… and that’s okay.

We have all of these expectations; predetermined visions of what our “ideal” life will look like, but all too often, that’s not the reality of the life we end up with. Sometimes our dreams fail and sometimes we just change our minds mid-course. Sometimes we have to flop to find the right course and sometimes we just have to try a few things before we find the right direction.

6. It’s Not All About You

You are not the epicenter of the universe. It’s very difficult to view the world from a perspective outside of your own, since we are always so focused on what’s happening in our own lives. What do I have to do today? What will this mean for me, for my career, for my life? What do I want?

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It’s normal to be intensely aware of everything that’s going on in your own life, but you need to pay as much attention to what’s happening around you, and how things affect other people in the world as you do to your own life. It helps to keep things in perspective.

7. There’s No Shame in Not Knowing

No one has it all figured out. Nobody has all the answers. There’s no shame in saying “I don’t know.” Pretending to be perfect doesn’t make you perfect. It just makes you neurotic to keep up the pretense of manufactured perfection.

We have this idea that there is some kind of stigma or shame in admitting our limitations or uncertainly, but we can’t possibly know everything. We all make mistakes and mess up occasionally. We learn as we go, that’s life.

Besides—nobody likes a know-it-all. A little vulnerability makes you human and oh so much more relatable.

8. Love Is More Than a Feeling; It’s a Choice

That burst of initial exhilaration, pulse quickening love and passion does not last long. But that doesn’t mean long-lasting love is not possible.

Love is not just a feeling; it’s a choice that you make every day. We have to choose to let annoyances pass, to forgive, to be kind, to respect, to support, to be faithful.

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Relationships take work. Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it’s incredibly hard. It is up to us to choose how we want to act, think and speak in a relationship.

9. Perspective Is a Beautiful Thing

Typically, when we’re worried or upset, it’s because we’ve lost perspective. Everything that is happening in our lives seems so big, so important, so do or die, but in the grand picture, this single hiccup often means next to nothing.

The fight we’re having, the job we didn’t get, the real or imagined slight, the unexpected need to shift course, the thing we wanted, but didn’t get. Most of it won’t matter 20, 30, 40 years from now. It’s hard to see long term when all you know is short term, but unless it’s life-threatening, let it go, and move on.

10. Don’t Take Anything for Granted

We often don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone: that includes your health, your family and friends, your job, the money you have or think you will have tomorrow.

When you’re young, it seems that your parents will always be there, but they won’t. You think you have plenty of time to get back in touch with your old friends or spend time with new ones, but you don’t. You have the money to spend, or you think you’ll have it next month, but you might not.

Nothing in your life is not guaranteed to be there tomorrow, including those you love.

This is a hard life lesson to learn, but it may be the most important of all: Life can change in an instant. Make sure you appreciate what you have, while you still have it.

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Featured photo credit: Ben Eaton via unsplash.com

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