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5 Unrealistic Expectations Men Have Of Women

5 Unrealistic Expectations Men Have Of Women

Western society is finally getting around to valuing men and women equally. While men widely hold positions of power, it is often thought that women would adopt a less-risk focused, more nurturing approach to leadership. Hell, ask the government of Iceland how they value women. In response to the financial crisis, the existing government of men was voted out and the party that was composed of women was voted in.

When it comes to every day perceptions, men often create bizarrely unreal expectations of women, both of their physicality and of their emotions. For that reason, we have compiled a list of ways that men regularly and consistently put unrealistic expectations on women.

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1. They want women to be kind and caring people – all the time.

One of the recent trends in feminism is to fight against the “smile” admonitions men give women. In it, women are fighting the unrealistic expectation that they have to portray an image of kindness at all times. This is not necessarily true. If men are entitled to fight and curse and generally indulge in their testosterone and anger, then women are also entitled to act whichever way they want. While women may be more predisposed to kindness, nothing gives men the right to try and control the emotions of strangers.

2. They enforce entirely unrealistic expectations of the female body.

Listen, I’m a guy, and I like the female figure as much as the next heterosexual guy; however, I’ve had to teach myself to realize that a woman’s body experiences the same turmoils as any one else’s. Sometimes they fart. Sometimes there’s excess hair. Sometimes a few things jiggle that previously did not jiggle. Whether it’s because of mass media or whatever else, men and society at large have been conditioned to think that women who experience these normal human issues are not good enough. The fact is that’s just not true.

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3. They let women care for them when they cannot even care for themselves.

Most guys are slobs – plain and simple. However, where most guys lack in the cleanliness department, they often make up in the “let-my-girlfriend/wife/female best friend/Tinder date take-care-of-it” department. This unrealistic expectation concerns how women are not only asked to be clean and tidy themselves, but to also make up for their more slovenly counterparts by taking on more of the housework. This does not make sense. If we didn’t place undue burden on females to clean, in addition to work, and have fun, we might just find real equality in our lifetimes.

4. They let women make the decisions, only reacting after the fact.

Many men in long-term relationships eventually stop trying to please women, instead allowing her to go through all of the various options, only to jump on board later. This is another unrealistic expectation men have of women. Men expect women to make the plans, set everything up, and then we expect to just get in the car and drive, hoping that this act of assertiveness will make her happy. Go out of your way to plan something for her. It will be worth it.

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5. They hardly let women have downtime or other hobbies.

As a guy, I watch an unfair amount of sports. Yesterday, I watched baseball, today I am watching hockey, Sunday I might watch football. As a society, we see this a socially acceptable in some way. However, once a woman starts getting obsessed with certain TV shows or other activities, her decisions are thought of as questionable. If I can talk about the Chicago Cubs baseball lineup all day, then she should be able to talk about Project Runway. At the moment, it doesn’t seem like that’s properly balanced.

Featured photo credit: Window Shopping/Jim Smith via flickr.com

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Last Updated on November 26, 2020

How Relationships Building Helps Achieve Career Success

How Relationships Building Helps Achieve Career Success

As playwright Wilson Mizner supposedly said all the way back in the 1930s,

“Be kind to everyone on the way up; you will meet the same people on the way down.”

The adage is the perfect prototype for relationship building in 2020, although we may want to expand Mizner’s definition of “kind” to include being helpful, respectful, grateful, and above all, crediting your colleagues along the way.

5 Ways to Switch on Your Relationship Building Magnetism

Relationship building does not come easily to all. Today’s computer culture makes us more insular and less likely to reach out—not to mention our new work-from-home situation in which we are only able to interact virtually. Still, relationship building remains an important part of career engagement and success, and it gets better with practice.

Here are five ways you can strengthen your relationships:

1. Advocate for Other’s Ideas

Take the initiative to speak up in support of other team members’ good ideas. Doing so lets others know that the team’s success takes precedence over your needs for personal success. Get behind any colleague’s innovative approach or clever solution and offer whatever help you can give to see it through. Teammates will value your vote of confidence and your support.

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2. Show Compassion

If you learn that someone whom you work with has encountered difficult times, reach out. If it’s not someone you know well, a hand-written card expressing your sympathy and hopes for better times ahead could be an initial gesture. If it’s someone with whom you interact regularly, the act could involve offering to take on some of the person’s work to provide a needed reprieve or even bringing in a home-cooked dish as a way to offer comfort. The show of compassion will not go unnoticed, and your relationship building will have found a foothold.

3. Communicate Regularly

Make an effort to share any information with team members that will help them do their jobs more effectively. Keeping people in the loop says a lot about your consideration for what others need to deliver their best results.

Try to discover the preferred mode of communication for each team member. Some people are fine relying on emails; others like to have a phone conversation. And once we can finally return to working together in offices, you may determine that face-to-face updates may be most advantageous for some members.

4. Ask for Feedback

Showing your willingness to reach out for advice and guidance will make a positive impression on your boss. When you make it clear that you welcome and can accept pointers, you display candor and trust in what opinions your superior has to offer. Your proclivity towards considering ways of improving your performance and strengthening any working interactions will signal your strong relationship skills.

If you are in a work environment where you are asked to give feedback, be generous and compassionate. That does not mean being wishy-washy. Try always to give the type of feedback that you wouldn’t mind receiving.

5. Give Credit Where It’s Due

Be the worker who remembers to credit staffers with their contributions. It’s a surprisingly rare talent to credit others, but when you do so, they will remember to credit you, and the collective credit your team will accrue will be well worth the effort.

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How Does Relationship Building Build Careers?

Once you have strengthened and deepened your relationships, here are some of the great benefits:

Work Doesn’t Feel So Much Like Work

According to a Gallup poll, when you have a best friend at work, you are more likely to feel engaged with your job. Work is more fun when you have positive, productive relationships with your colleagues. Instead of spending time and energy overcoming difficult personalities, you can spend time enjoying the camaraderie with colleagues as you work congenially on projects together. When your coworkers are your friends, time goes by quickly and challenges don’t weigh as heavily.

You Can Find Good Help

It’s easier to ask for assistance when you have a good working relationship with a colleague. And with office tasks changing at the speed of technology, chances are that you are going to need some help acclimating—especially now that work has gone remote due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

Much of relationship building rests on your genuine expressions of appreciation toward others. Showing gratitude for another’s help or for their willingness to put in the extra effort will let them know you value them.

Mentors Come Out of the Woodwork

Mentors are proven to advance your professional and career development. A mentor can help you navigate how to approach your work and keep you apprised of industry trends. They have a plethora of experience to draw from that can be invaluable when advising you on achieving career success and advancement.

Mentors flock to those who are skilled at relationship building. So, work on your relationships and keep your eyes peeled for a worthy mentor.

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You Pull Together as a Team

Great teamwork starts with having an “abundance mentality” rather than a scarcity mentality. Too often, workers view all projects through a scarcity mentality lens. This leads to office strife as coworkers compete for their piece of the pie. But in an abundance mentality mode, you focus on the strengths that others bring rather than the possibility that they are potential competitors.

Instead, you can commit relationship building efforts to ensure a positive work environment rather than an adversarial one. When you let others know that you intend to support their efforts and contribute to their success, they will respond in kind. Go, team!

Your Network Expands and So Does Your Paycheck

Expand your relationship building scope beyond your coworkers to include customers, suppliers, and other industry stakeholders. Your extra efforts can lead to extra sales, a more rewarding career, and even speedy professional advancement. And don’t overlook the importance of building warm relationships with assistants, receptionists, or even interns.

Take care to build bridges, not just to your boss and your boss’s boss but with those that work under you as well. You may find that someone who you wouldn’t expect will put in a good word for you with your supervisor.

Building and maintaining good working relationships with everyone you come in contact with can pay off in unforeseen ways. You never know when that underling will turn out to be the company’s “golden child.” Six years from now you may be turning to them for a job. If you have built up a good, trusting work relationship with others along your way, you will more likely be considered for positions that any of these people may be looking to fill.

Your Job Won’t Stress You Out

Study shows that some 83 percent of American workers experience work-related stress.[1] Granted, some of that stress is now likely caused by the new pandemic-triggered workplace adjustments, yet bosses and management, in general, are reportedly the predominant source of stress for more than one-third of workers.

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Having meaningful connections among coworkers is the best way to make work less stressful. Whether it is having others whom to commiserate with, bounce ideas off, or bring out your best performance, friendships strengthen the group’s esprit de corps and lower the stress level of your job.

Your Career Shines Bright

Who would you feel better about approaching to provide a recommendation or ask for promotion: a cold, aloof boss with whom you have only an impersonal relationship or one that knows you as a person and with whom you have built a warm, trusting relationship?

Your career advancement will always excel when you have a mutual bond of friendship and appreciation with those who can recommend you. Consider the plug you could receive from a supervisor who knows you as a friend versus one who remains detached and only notices you in terms of your ability to meet deadlines or attain goals.

When people fully know your skills, strengths, personality, and aspirations, you have promoters who will sing your praises with any opportunity for advancement.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, it is “who you know” not “what you know.” When you build relationships, you build a pipeline of colleagues, work partners, team members, current bosses, and former bosses who want to help you—who want to see you succeed.

At its core, every business is a people business. Making a point to take the small but meaningful actions that build the foundation of a good relationship can be instrumental in cultivating better relationships at work.

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Featured photo credit: Adam Winger via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] The American Institute of Stress: 42 Worrying Workplace Stress Statistics

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