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5 Unrealistic Expectations Men Have Of Women

5 Unrealistic Expectations Men Have Of Women

Western society is finally getting around to valuing men and women equally. While men widely hold positions of power, it is often thought that women would adopt a less-risk focused, more nurturing approach to leadership. Hell, ask the government of Iceland how they value women. In response to the financial crisis, the existing government of men was voted out and the party that was composed of women was voted in.

When it comes to every day perceptions, men often create bizarrely unreal expectations of women, both of their physicality and of their emotions. For that reason, we have compiled a list of ways that men regularly and consistently put unrealistic expectations on women.

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1. They want women to be kind and caring people – all the time.

One of the recent trends in feminism is to fight against the “smile” admonitions men give women. In it, women are fighting the unrealistic expectation that they have to portray an image of kindness at all times. This is not necessarily true. If men are entitled to fight and curse and generally indulge in their testosterone and anger, then women are also entitled to act whichever way they want. While women may be more predisposed to kindness, nothing gives men the right to try and control the emotions of strangers.

2. They enforce entirely unrealistic expectations of the female body.

Listen, I’m a guy, and I like the female figure as much as the next heterosexual guy; however, I’ve had to teach myself to realize that a woman’s body experiences the same turmoils as any one else’s. Sometimes they fart. Sometimes there’s excess hair. Sometimes a few things jiggle that previously did not jiggle. Whether it’s because of mass media or whatever else, men and society at large have been conditioned to think that women who experience these normal human issues are not good enough. The fact is that’s just not true.

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3. They let women care for them when they cannot even care for themselves.

Most guys are slobs – plain and simple. However, where most guys lack in the cleanliness department, they often make up in the “let-my-girlfriend/wife/female best friend/Tinder date take-care-of-it” department. This unrealistic expectation concerns how women are not only asked to be clean and tidy themselves, but to also make up for their more slovenly counterparts by taking on more of the housework. This does not make sense. If we didn’t place undue burden on females to clean, in addition to work, and have fun, we might just find real equality in our lifetimes.

4. They let women make the decisions, only reacting after the fact.

Many men in long-term relationships eventually stop trying to please women, instead allowing her to go through all of the various options, only to jump on board later. This is another unrealistic expectation men have of women. Men expect women to make the plans, set everything up, and then we expect to just get in the car and drive, hoping that this act of assertiveness will make her happy. Go out of your way to plan something for her. It will be worth it.

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5. They hardly let women have downtime or other hobbies.

As a guy, I watch an unfair amount of sports. Yesterday, I watched baseball, today I am watching hockey, Sunday I might watch football. As a society, we see this a socially acceptable in some way. However, once a woman starts getting obsessed with certain TV shows or other activities, her decisions are thought of as questionable. If I can talk about the Chicago Cubs baseball lineup all day, then she should be able to talk about Project Runway. At the moment, it doesn’t seem like that’s properly balanced.

Featured photo credit: Window Shopping/Jim Smith via flickr.com

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

“When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

The Reinvention Checklist

Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

Resilience

Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

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Support

Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

Self-Care

During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

  • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
  • Spending time with your support system
  • Taking some time to walk in nature
  • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

How to Reinvent Yourself

Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

1. Discover Your Strengths

This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

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To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

2. Plan

This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

3. Try Things Out

Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

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By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

4. Manage Your Finances Well

Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

5. Muster Your Courage

Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

6. Use Your Support Group

As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

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7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

Final Thoughts

If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

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Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

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