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5 Reasons Why Serious Breakup Is Actually Good for You

5 Reasons Why Serious Breakup Is Actually Good for You

Breaking up with someone is never easy, especially if it was a serious relationship. No amount of comfort food or Netflix binge watching seems to heal the immense pain that you feel. Even if it is hard to believe, your friends and family were right when they said you will eventually start to move on and feel better.

Despite all the hardships that you are struggling with now, there are some benefits that will come out of this experience. Read on to see what major breakups can teach you in the long-term.

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1. They will spare you the bigger heartbreak in the future.

It may seem like a mistake at the moment, but breaking up with the love of your life happened for a reason. It is better to have come to this conclusion that you are not a good fit now before you make a bigger commitment to each other and are married with children. Believe me that it is infinitely harder to go your separate ways when things are not working out when you are legally bound to one another and share huge life responsibilities like kids between the two of you.

2. They will give you time to reevaluate your life.

One of the benefits of breaking up is having more alone time to reflect on yourself. Moments of hardship within your life tend to provide an opportunity to grow if you are willing to embrace them. At first, it may be difficult to think about positive self-growth since you are dealing with the sadness and array of other difficult emotions that come along with a serious breakup.

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After a while though, you will start to see the benefit of being single and being able to redirect the energy that you used to focus on your relationship to your own needs.

3. They will allow you to be more independent.

Being in a relationship, you always had a built-in companion by your side. Now that you are single, you will have to learn how to navigate life on your own.

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Learning how to be self-reliant is invaluable in all areas of life, whether in work or in your personal daily routine. Learning to be independent will also give you the courage to step out of your comfort zone and try things that you never thought of exploring before. Traveling solo to a new country? Why not. Trying your hand at a cooking class? Bring it on.

4. They will encourage you to be more social.

After the initial pain of the breakup wears off and you feel ready to brave the world that does not include your living room and sweats, going out and being social is crucial to moving on. It may seem awkward and strange at first — going out as a party of one with your friends. But this just means you are more receptive to social invitations. Instead of wanting to stay home with your significant other and watch Homeland on Saturday night, you have more time to hang out with friends and hit the town.

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5. They help you put things in perspective.

After going through a difficult breakup, you realize that you are a lot stronger than you think. You also realize that situations that once seem insurmountable are actually not that big of a deal. Having this new perspective in life can help you gain the courage to confront people in your life that you have been avoiding, or take a leap of faith by attending a writing workshop that you always wanted to try.

Soon, you will come to realize that there is a life after your relationship and that the only way to know this is by enduring the momentary pain of the break-up.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via flickr.com

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Last Updated on December 3, 2019

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

There are so many lessons I wish I had learned while I was young enough to appreciate and apply them. The thing with wisdom, and often with life lessons in general, is that they’re learned in retrospect, long after we needed them. The good news is that other people can benefit from our experiences and the lessons we’ve learned.

Here’re 10 important life lessons you should learn early on:

1. Money Will Never Solve Your Real Problems

Money is a tool; a commodity that buys you necessities and some nice “wants,” but it is not the panacea to your problems.

There are a great many people who are living on very little, yet have wonderfully full and happy lives… and there are sadly a great many people are living on quite a lot, yet have terribly miserable lives.

Money can buy a nice home, a great car, fabulous shoes, even a bit of security and some creature comforts, but it cannot fix a broken relationship, or cure loneliness, and the “happiness” it brings is only fleeting and not the kind that really and truly matters. Happiness is not for sale. If you’re expecting the “stuff” you can buy to “make it better,” you will never be happy.

2. Pace Yourself

Often when we’re young, just beginning our adult journey we feel as though we have to do everything at once. We need to decide everything, plan out our lives, experience everything, get to the top, find true love, figure out our life’s purpose, and do it all at the same time.

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Slow down—don’t rush into things. Let your life unfold. Wait a bit to see where it takes you, and take time to weigh your options. Enjoy every bite of food, take time to look around you, let the other person finish their side of the conversation. Allow yourself time to think, to mull a bit.

Taking action is critical. Working towards your goals and making plans for the future is commendable and often very useful, but rushing full-speed ahead towards anything is a one-way ticket to burnout and a good way to miss your life as it passes you by.

3. You Can’t Please Everyone

“I don’t know the secret to success, but the secret to failure is trying to please everyone” – Bill Cosby.

You don’t need everyone to agree with you or even like you. It’s human nature to want to belong, to be liked, respected and valued, but not at the expense of your integrity and happiness. Other people cannot give you the validation you seek. That has to come from inside.

Speak up, stick to your guns, assert yourself when you need to, demand respect, stay true to your values.

4. Your Health Is Your Most Valuable Asset

Health is an invaluable treasure—always appreciate, nurture, and protect it. Good health is often wasted on the young before they have a chance to appreciate it for what it’s worth.

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We tend to take our good health for granted, because it’s just there. We don’t have to worry about it, so we don’t really pay attention to it… until we have to.

Heart disease, bone density, stroke, many cancers—the list of many largely preventable diseases is long, so take care of your health now, or you’ll regret it later on.

5. You Don’t Always Get What You Want

“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon

No matter how carefully you plan and how hard you work, sometimes things just don’t work out the way you want them to… and that’s okay.

We have all of these expectations; predetermined visions of what our “ideal” life will look like, but all too often, that’s not the reality of the life we end up with. Sometimes our dreams fail and sometimes we just change our minds mid-course. Sometimes we have to flop to find the right course and sometimes we just have to try a few things before we find the right direction.

6. It’s Not All About You

You are not the epicenter of the universe. It’s very difficult to view the world from a perspective outside of your own, since we are always so focused on what’s happening in our own lives. What do I have to do today? What will this mean for me, for my career, for my life? What do I want?

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It’s normal to be intensely aware of everything that’s going on in your own life, but you need to pay as much attention to what’s happening around you, and how things affect other people in the world as you do to your own life. It helps to keep things in perspective.

7. There’s No Shame in Not Knowing

No one has it all figured out. Nobody has all the answers. There’s no shame in saying “I don’t know.” Pretending to be perfect doesn’t make you perfect. It just makes you neurotic to keep up the pretense of manufactured perfection.

We have this idea that there is some kind of stigma or shame in admitting our limitations or uncertainly, but we can’t possibly know everything. We all make mistakes and mess up occasionally. We learn as we go, that’s life.

Besides—nobody likes a know-it-all. A little vulnerability makes you human and oh so much more relatable.

8. Love Is More Than a Feeling; It’s a Choice

That burst of initial exhilaration, pulse quickening love and passion does not last long. But that doesn’t mean long-lasting love is not possible.

Love is not just a feeling; it’s a choice that you make every day. We have to choose to let annoyances pass, to forgive, to be kind, to respect, to support, to be faithful.

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Relationships take work. Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it’s incredibly hard. It is up to us to choose how we want to act, think and speak in a relationship.

9. Perspective Is a Beautiful Thing

Typically, when we’re worried or upset, it’s because we’ve lost perspective. Everything that is happening in our lives seems so big, so important, so do or die, but in the grand picture, this single hiccup often means next to nothing.

The fight we’re having, the job we didn’t get, the real or imagined slight, the unexpected need to shift course, the thing we wanted, but didn’t get. Most of it won’t matter 20, 30, 40 years from now. It’s hard to see long term when all you know is short term, but unless it’s life-threatening, let it go, and move on.

10. Don’t Take Anything for Granted

We often don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone: that includes your health, your family and friends, your job, the money you have or think you will have tomorrow.

When you’re young, it seems that your parents will always be there, but they won’t. You think you have plenty of time to get back in touch with your old friends or spend time with new ones, but you don’t. You have the money to spend, or you think you’ll have it next month, but you might not.

Nothing in your life is not guaranteed to be there tomorrow, including those you love.

This is a hard life lesson to learn, but it may be the most important of all: Life can change in an instant. Make sure you appreciate what you have, while you still have it.

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Featured photo credit: Ben Eaton via unsplash.com

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