Having severe insecurity is a hardship for those who feel that way. But for those who love an insecure person, it can be confusing and difficult trying to help. If you keep these few things in mind, it is guaranteed to help the person you love through their hard days and their insecurity.
1. We aren’t trying to drive you crazy
There will be days when we’ve asked you a million times if we just said or did something embarrassing, if our outfit looks bad, or if we look fat. We promise it is not to drive you crazy. How nervous we are about how we appear to others has a lot to do with how insecure we are feeling for the day. If we ask you a million times how we look or if we did something embarrassing, it’s not to drive you crazy- it’s because we’re scared we’re not living up to what we want to be. So go along with us when we need it- it’ll help us both.
2. We don’t mean to feel jealous
We love you very much, you need to know that. The days where we feel jealous or worried that you’re not interested in us anymore- it doesn’t have to do with you. It has everything to do with our own insecurity. It’s us feeling worried that we’re not good enough for you and that one day you will figure that out and shatter our hearts. We don’t want to be crazy with jealousy, but we are so scared to lose you.
3. You make us feel comfortable when you’re near us
Around you, we are our most comfortable. On the good days, we know that we have someone in our lives that we can be ourselves around. Someone that we can let out our loudest laugh with or wear our worst sweatshirt. Please remember how special and important that is to us- there’s not that many people in the world who can take away our insecurity.
4. Some days we just feel down
There will be days when our insecurity is just too much and we’re feeling down. On these days be sensitive to our bad day. We may need an extra hug, compliment, alone time, or all of the above. Remember that it’s okay for us to have a bad day, be there for us and let us know we are loved.
5. It’s not your fault
With insecurity usually comes sensitivity. We can’t help being sensitive any more than you can help saying one little wrong thing. Deep down we know it’s not your fault that you mentioned that the dress we’re wearing doesn’t make us look very good even though we thought it looked great. You weren’t trying to but it still hurt our feelings. Just know that our insecurity is NOT your fault. You did nothing to cause us to feel this way, it’s just who we are.
6. Sex isn’t as simple as it seems
For you it may be as simple as turning out the lights, dropping the clothes and having a little fun under the sheets. For us, it’s so much more than that. Not only are we worried about every aspect of our body, but we also have major insecurity about if we’re doing everything right. Sometimes we get so far into our own head in worry that sex is no longer fun, but stressful. Remember to be extra tender when the lights go out, and let us feel how loved we are.
7. We think you see every single flaw
We would give pretty much anything to see ourselves the way you see us. But we can’t. All we can do is see ourselves through our own eyes. And through our own eyes all of our insecurities come out and we see every single flaw. But the worst feeling is we think you see every single flaw as well. Every wrinkle, blemish, and extra pound we gain. Show us you think we’re attractive and we’ll open up so much more.
8. A new outfit can change a night
When we’re headed for a night out- we absolutely don’t mean to make you late when we can’t find anything to wear and we aren’t trying to be a pain. But we genuinely don’t feel comfortable in anything we’re wearing. There’s nothing worse for a person who has insecurities than to feel like they don’t look good. So give us a few minutes in a department store to shop around and find something we’re comfortable in, it could change the entire night.
9. Only give compliments when you mean it
We know the difference between a true compliment and a false one simply intended to make us feel better. We have enough insecurity, so please only give us the true ones. It’ll only make us worry more if we’re wondering why you’re trying so hard to make us feel good.
10. Love us extra hard because sometimes we forget to love ourselves
We see all of our flaws, we remember every embarrassing thing we’ve ever done, and we let all of our insecurity get the best of us. When all of this piles up, sometimes we forget to love ourselves. So give us extra love, hugs, and kisses. Stand by us on our toughest days and we’ll continue to love you fiercely.
Loving a person with such major insecurity issues is a challenge, but being a person with high insecurity is a challenge as well. The most important thing to remember is to keep loving us, and we’ll give you everything we have.
Featured photo credit: coloredgrey via flickr.com