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10 Amazing Things Only People Who Date Their Best Friend Would Understand

10 Amazing Things Only People Who Date Their Best Friend Would Understand

Best friends are a rare gem in life. They’re precious and must be held carefully to keep the friendship safe. The same exact thing can be said about romantic relationships. But the most rare find of all is finding that your best friend is also the same person you are in a relationship with. Sometimes a friendship turns into romance or the relationship ends up creating the bond of best friends.

No matter how it happens, it’s only when you are lucky enough to find a relationship with your best friend that you realize how truly amazing it is.

If you’ve found love with your best friend, you know the following to be true.

1. You can read their mind

It often feels like best friends can read each others’ minds. By simply looking at each other, they know exactly what the other is thinking.

When you are in a relationship with your best friend, this phenomenon becomes even better. The emotional bond in a relationship becomes so strong, not only can you tell what they are thinking, but you are most often thinking the same thing.

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2. You are always together

People love taking road trips with their best friends, and they love taking vacations with their significant others. When your significant other is your best friend, you get to be with them for all of these trips.

You never have to choose if you should be taking a trip with your best friend or your significant other — because you’re lucky enough that they are the same person.

3. They understand you like no one else

Best friends know you inside and out. When you are in a relationhsip, your significant other also knows everything that’s in your heart. But often times there are a few secrets you hide from either one. Things that you would feel uncomfortable telling your best friend, or a secret you’re not sure if you should share with your significant other.

But when you’re in a relationship with your best friend, you find yourself opening up a whole new part of yourself, exposing every secret. It makes you, as a couple, that much stronger.

4. Nights in become infinitely better

Spending a night in as a couple becomes infinitely more fun when your significant other is also your best friend. You feel you couldn’t ask for a better Friday night than binge watching movies, a nice bottle of wine, and of course, some junk food.

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This makes for the perfect romantic night in — all the while having lots of fun because you’re with your best friend.

5. They will be there for you like no one else

Best friends are a shoulder to cry on; romantic partners hold you tightly when things go wrong.

When you’re in a relationship with your best friend, they are there for you like no one else. They will protect you fiercely, and care for you with every ounce they have — because you are their entire world.

6. You can trust them with your heart

Knowing that your significant other is also your best friend adds a comforting layer of security that makes your heart feel protected. You’ve trusted them with so much, like your secrets and your friendship, that it becomes easy to trust them with your heart. You feel that they will do anything to keep it safe.

7. Dinners out become way more fun

Dining out is such a fun thing to do when you’re out with your best friend. You gorge on anything and everything you want and have no worries about ordering that second drink. When you are out with your significant other, you have the fun and excitement of romance.

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When these two get combined, a couple who is also best friends get double dining-out fun. Not only do you feel comfortable having the extra drink and ordering that loaded baked potato instead of a salad, but you also get to share your significant other’s food, all while having a romantic night together.

8. You can find them in a crowded room just by sensing them

In a crowded party, you always want to be able to find your best friend and your significant other. But when a room is really crowded, it can obviously be tough. When you’re in a relationship with your best friend, you can almost feel their presence — which makes finding them completely easy.

There’s some type of unexplained bond which gives you a very specific type of feel when your best friend and significant other is around. Something that fills in from your heart and flows through your veins, alerting every part of you that they are near.

9. You can be your true self around them

Best friends have seen each other with no makeup, sweatpants, and in dirty t-shirts. It’s a level of comfort you gain when you are around those that know you best.

When a couple is best friends, that level of comfort is even better. You don’t have to be in a constant state of dressing to impress, you can be seen in your ratty pajamas and your significant other will find you just as attractive and love you just the same.

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10. They will never judge you

The reason a best friend is a best friend is because they love you for who you are and they will never judge you for anything that you do. When you are lucky enough to date your best friend, you know that your opinions, actions, and deepest fears will never be judged.

Being in a relationship with your significant other has so many amazing qualities; it is a relationship most people strive for. Best of all is knowing that no matter what, they are on your side and will love you through it all.

Featured photo credit: www.ChristianCrush.com via flickr.com

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

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Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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