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10 Small Thoughtful Habits That Tell He Is A Man Worth Marrying

10 Small Thoughtful Habits That Tell He Is A Man Worth Marrying

Marriage is a major decision and you want to make sure the man you are wanting to marry has some good thoughtful habits. This article will discuss 10 thoughtful habits to look for before marrying your man.

Please add a few more of your own in the comment section below.

1. He starts the day by giving you a kiss.

Everyday is a new beginning, he starts his by always giving you a good morning kiss. This is one of the best and simplest ways to know he is consistent, plus it gets you in great mood to start your day.

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2. He would rather listen than talk.

After a long, short, bad or good day, he is ready to hear about your day. He patiently waits until you finish and supports whatever decision you had made for the day. He basically has your back 100% – just like you have his.

3. He cooks.

Sure, it is always easy to order take-out and call it night. However, the ideal man would rather cook a simple meal for his family. There’s nothing like coming home from work and eating a home-cooked pasta with some wine.

4. He cuddles.

Once the day is over and you are relaxing with a glass of wine reading or watching a movie, he is right there hugging you (with his beer). I am not referring to just hugging and sitting on the couch and watching a movie. He will hug you, occasionally kiss you, offer to fill up your glass, and sometimes even massage your feet.

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5. He is a pleaser.

He does whatever is necessary to please you during sex. He is romantic when you are in the mood for romance. He is spontaneous and exciting when you are in the mood for adventure or feel like letting your wild side out. He is not scared of a little adventure, a little sex in the movie theater, a park, or on a rooftop – depending on the mood, of course.

6. He enjoys your friends and family.

Marriage is life-long contract and it is important that everyone involved gets along and respects each other. He is very loving and understanding with your family and friends. He is willing to be the designated driver for you and your friends. He is also willing to shuttle your family back and front from the airport. He does not make a big fuss about where Thanksgiving or Christmas get-togethers should be.

7. He loves the little ones.

He absolutely loves playing with kids. When you go to your sister’s house, he is always playing Hide-N-Go-Seek or playfully chasing your nieces and nephews. He makes children feel safe, reads them stories, and is even willing to babysit occasionally. Imagine watching him crawling on all fours and chasing those adorable kids.

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8. He is financially responsible.

No matter what kind of job he has, he is not the type to live beyond his means. He is responsible and pays his bills on time. He also makes plans for his future – hopefully a future with you.

9. He notices you.

While at a Christmas party or an evening gala, he compliments how good you look. He looks right at you, even when he is in a crowd. He makes you feel like you are the only one that matters. You are indeed the only person that matters to him at that moment and you can feel it without him saying a word. You can tell just by the way he is looking at you.

10. He takes care of himself.

He does some form of physical activity at least 5 times per week – whether it’s weights, running, biking, rock climbing, or Cross-fit.   He takes pride in the way he looks. He has a well groomed beard. He also dresses sharply and always smells good (except of course while training). He reads books and takes care of his mental health as much as his physical health.

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Featured photo credit: Shoes of Couple Holding Hands In London Near Big Ben via stokpic.com

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Last Updated on February 21, 2019

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

In business, in social relationships, in family… In whatever context conflict is always inevitable, especially when you are in the leader role. This role equals “make decisions for the best of majority” and the remaining are not amused. Conflicts arise.

Conflicts arise when we want to push for a better quality work but some members want to take a break from work.

Conflicts arise when we as citizens want more recreational facilities but the Government has to balance the needs to maintain tourism growth.

Conflicts are literally everywhere.

Avoiding Conflicts a No-No and Resolving Conflicts a Win-Win

Avoiding conflicts seem to be a viable option for us. The cruel fact is, it isn’t. Conflicts won’t walk away by themselves. They will, instead, escalate and haunt you back even more when we finally realize that’s no way we can let it be.

Moreover, avoiding conflicts will eventually intensify the misunderstanding among the involved parties. And the misunderstanding severely hinders open communication which later on the parties tend to keep things secret. This is obviously detrimental to teamwork.

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Some may view conflicts as the last step before arguments. And they thus leave it aside as if they never happen. This is not true.

Conflicts are the intersect point between different individuals with different opinions. And this does not necessarily lead to argument.

Instead, proper handling of conflicts can actually result in a win-win situation – both parties are pleased and allies are gained. A better understanding between each other and future conflicts are less likely to happen.

The IBR Approach to Resolve Conflicts

Here, we introduce to you an effective approach to resolve conflicts – the Interest-Based Relational (IBR) approach. The IBR approach was developed by Roger Fisher and William Ury in their 1981 book Getting to Yes. It stresses the importance of the separation between people and their emotions from the problem. Another focus of the approach is to build mutual understanding and respect as they strengthen bonds among parties and can ultimately help resolve conflicts in a harmonious way. The approach suggests a 6-step procedure for conflict resolution:

Step 1: Prioritize Good Relationships

How? Before addressing the problem or even starting the discussion, make it clear the conflict can result in a mutual trouble and through subsequent respectful negotiation the conflict can be resolved peacefully. And that brings the best outcome to the whole team by working together.

Why? It is easy to overlook own cause of the conflict and point the finger to the members with different opinions. With such a mindset, it is likely to blame rather than to listen to the others and fail to acknowledge the problem completely. Such a discussion manner will undermine the good relationships among the members and aggravate the problem.

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Example: Before discussion, stress that the problem is never one’s complete fault. Everyone is responsible for it. Then, it is important to point out our own involvement in the problem and state clearly we are here to listen to everyone’s opinions rather than accusing others.

Step 2: People Are NOT the Cause of Problem

How? State clearly the problem is never one-sided. Collaborative effort is needed. More importantly, note the problem should not be taken personally. We are not making accusations on persons but addressing the problem itself.

Why? Once things taken personally, everything will go out of control. People will become irrational and neglect others’ opinions. We are then unable to address the problem properly because we cannot grasp a fuller and clearer picture of the problem due to presumption.

Example: In spite of the confronting opinions, we have to emphasize that the problem is not a result of the persons but probably the different perspectives to view it. So, if we try to look at the problem from the other’s perspective, we may understand why there are varied opinions.

Step 3: Listen From ALL Stances

How? Do NOT blame others. It is of utmost importance. Ask for everyone’s opinions. It is important to let everyone feel that they contribute to the discussion. Tell them their involvement is essential to solve the problem and their effort is very much appreciated.

Why? None wants to be ignored. If one feels neglected, it is very likely for he/she to be aggressive. It is definitely not what we hope to see in a discussion. Acknowledging and being acknowledged are equally important. So, make sure everyone has equal opportunity to express their views. Also, realizing their opinions are not neglected, they will be more receptive to other opinions.

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Example: A little trick can played here: Invite others to talk first. It is an easy way to let others feel involved and ,more importantly, know their voices are heard. Also, we can show that we are actively listening to them by giving direct eye-contact and nodding. One important to note is that never interrupt anyone. Always let them finish first beforeanother one begins.

Step 4: Listen Comes First, Talk Follows

How? Ensure everyone has listened to one another points of view. It can be done by taking turn to speak and leaving the discussion part at last. State once again the problem is nothing personal and no accusation should be made.

Why? By turn-taking, everyone can finish talking and voices of all sides can be heard indiscriminantly. This can promote willingness to listen to opposing opinions.

Example: We can prepare pieces of paper with different numbers written on them. Then, ask different members to pick one and talk according to the sequence of the number. After everyone’s finished, advise everyone to use “I” more than “You” in the discussion period to avoid others thinking that it is an accusation.

Step 5: Understand the Facts, Then Address the Problem

How? List out ALL the facts first. Ask everyone to tell what they know about the problems.

Why? Sometimes your facts are unknown to the others while they may know something we don’t. Missing out on these facts could possibly lead to inaccurate capture of the problem. Also, different known facts can lead to different perception of the matter. It also helps everyone better understand the problem and can eventually help reach a solution.

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Example: While everyone is expressing their own views, ask them to write down everything they know that is true to the problem. As soon as everyone has finished, all facts can be noted and everyone’s understanding of the problem is raised.

Step 6: Solve the Problem Together

How? Knowing what everyone’s thinking, it is now time to resolve the conflict. Up to this point, everyone should have understood the problem better. So, it is everyone’s time to suggest some solutions. It is important not to have one giving all the solutions.

Why? Having everyone suggesting their solutions is important as they will not feel excluded and their opinions are considered. Besides, it may also generate more solutions that can better resolve the conflicts. Everyone will more likely be satisfied with the result.

Example: After discussion, ask all members to suggest any possible solutions and stress that all solutions are welcomed. State clearly that we are looking for the best outcomes for everyone’s sake rather than battling to win over one another. Then, evaluate all the solutions and pick the one that is in favor of everyone.

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