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10 Small Thoughtful Habits That Tell He Is A Man Worth Marrying

10 Small Thoughtful Habits That Tell He Is A Man Worth Marrying

Marriage is a major decision and you want to make sure the man you are wanting to marry has some good thoughtful habits. This article will discuss 10 thoughtful habits to look for before marrying your man.

Please add a few more of your own in the comment section below.

1. He starts the day by giving you a kiss.

Everyday is a new beginning, he starts his by always giving you a good morning kiss. This is one of the best and simplest ways to know he is consistent, plus it gets you in great mood to start your day.

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2. He would rather listen than talk.

After a long, short, bad or good day, he is ready to hear about your day. He patiently waits until you finish and supports whatever decision you had made for the day. He basically has your back 100% – just like you have his.

3. He cooks.

Sure, it is always easy to order take-out and call it night. However, the ideal man would rather cook a simple meal for his family. There’s nothing like coming home from work and eating a home-cooked pasta with some wine.

4. He cuddles.

Once the day is over and you are relaxing with a glass of wine reading or watching a movie, he is right there hugging you (with his beer). I am not referring to just hugging and sitting on the couch and watching a movie. He will hug you, occasionally kiss you, offer to fill up your glass, and sometimes even massage your feet.

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5. He is a pleaser.

He does whatever is necessary to please you during sex. He is romantic when you are in the mood for romance. He is spontaneous and exciting when you are in the mood for adventure or feel like letting your wild side out. He is not scared of a little adventure, a little sex in the movie theater, a park, or on a rooftop – depending on the mood, of course.

6. He enjoys your friends and family.

Marriage is life-long contract and it is important that everyone involved gets along and respects each other. He is very loving and understanding with your family and friends. He is willing to be the designated driver for you and your friends. He is also willing to shuttle your family back and front from the airport. He does not make a big fuss about where Thanksgiving or Christmas get-togethers should be.

7. He loves the little ones.

He absolutely loves playing with kids. When you go to your sister’s house, he is always playing Hide-N-Go-Seek or playfully chasing your nieces and nephews. He makes children feel safe, reads them stories, and is even willing to babysit occasionally. Imagine watching him crawling on all fours and chasing those adorable kids.

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8. He is financially responsible.

No matter what kind of job he has, he is not the type to live beyond his means. He is responsible and pays his bills on time. He also makes plans for his future – hopefully a future with you.

9. He notices you.

While at a Christmas party or an evening gala, he compliments how good you look. He looks right at you, even when he is in a crowd. He makes you feel like you are the only one that matters. You are indeed the only person that matters to him at that moment and you can feel it without him saying a word. You can tell just by the way he is looking at you.

10. He takes care of himself.

He does some form of physical activity at least 5 times per week – whether it’s weights, running, biking, rock climbing, or Cross-fit.   He takes pride in the way he looks. He has a well groomed beard. He also dresses sharply and always smells good (except of course while training). He reads books and takes care of his mental health as much as his physical health.

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Featured photo credit: Shoes of Couple Holding Hands In London Near Big Ben via stokpic.com

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Last Updated on October 14, 2020

The Art of Humble Confidence

The Art of Humble Confidence

To be confident or not to be confident, that is the question. I’m not sure about you, but I’ve been a bit confused about all this discussion about the subject of confidence. Do you really need to be more confident or should you try to be more humble? I think the answer is both – you just have to know where to use it.

East VS West – Confidence, It’s a Cultural Thing

In typical Western countries, the answer to the confidence debate is obvious – more is better. Our heros are rebellious, independent and shoot first, ask questions later. I think this snippet of dialog from The Matrix sums it up best:

Agent Smith – “We’re willing to wipe the slate clean, give you a fresh start. All that we’re asking in return is your cooperation in bringing a known terrorist to justice.”
Neo – “Yeah. Well, that sounds like a pretty good deal. But I think I may have a better one. How about, I give you the finger”
[He does]
Neo -“ …and you give me my phone call.”

In Eastern countries, the tone is often considerably different. Elders are supposed to be revered not dismissed. The words ‘guru,’ meaning a teacher, and the philosophy of dharma, loosely translated to mean ‘duty,’ come from here. In Eastern cultures humility and respect are more important than confidence.

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These perspectives are generalizations, but it shows how the confidence debate goes back deep into our culture. I think that both extremes of pure confidence or pure humility are misguided. Instead of rectifying this situation by simply blending the two: becoming somewhat humble, somewhat confident all the time, I believe the answer is to know when to be confident and when to be humble.

Humble Confidence – Know When to Use It

I’m going to make another broad generalization. I believe that virtually every relationship you are going to have is going to fit into one of two major archetypes, either master or student. In peer relationships this master/student role may switch frequently, but it is extremely rare that the relationship never leans to one side.

In the master role, you are displaying confidence to get what you want. This is public speaker, leader or seducer. Being the master has advantages. You have more control and ability to influence from this role.

The student role is the opposite. You are intentionally displaying humility. This is the student, disciple or follower. Being the student has advantages too. You can learn a lot more in this role and are more likely to win the trust of the other person.

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Know When to Shut Up and Learn

If you are a typical Westerner, you are probably already thinking about which role you prefer. Being the leader is great. You get respect and a higher status. Most of all you get a greater degree of control.

But the problem is that you can’t and shouldn’t always try to be the leader. Trying to assume that role without the skills, resources or status to back it up will lead to conflict. More importantly, there are many times when you purposely want to display humility. Some of the benefits to the student role include:

  • You learn more.
  • Smooths relationships.
  • Makes others more willing to lend a helping hand.

Knowing when taking the humble route is to your advantage. It is far easier to get mentors and advisors if you use humility rather than arrogance. A small sacrifice to your ego can open up the potential to learn a lot.

Confidence to Persuade, Humility to Learn

In reality almost no relationship is as clearly defined as master/student. Within our connections, people have overlapping areas of expertise. I might be an expert in blogging to a non-blogger, but they might be an expert in finance. In each area there are different roles to take.

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Before any interaction ask yourself what the purpose is. Are you trying to learn or persuade?

Persuasion requires confidence. If you are trying to sell, instruct or lead you need to display the confidence to match your message. But learning requires humility. You won’t learn anything if you are constantly arguing with your professors, mentors or employers. Taking a dose of humility and temporarily making yourself a student gives you the opportunity to absorb.

Persuade Less, Learn More

Persuasion is great for immediate effect, but learning matters over the long-haul. Instead of washing over all your communication with pure confidence, look for opportunities to learn. Persuading someone to follow you may give you an immediate boost of satisfaction, but it doesn’t last. Learning, however, is an investment for the future.

Whenever I make a connection with someone and realize they have a skill or understanding I want, I am careful to express humility in that area. That means listening with what they say even if I don’t immediately agree and being patient with their response. This method often drastically cuts down the time I need to spend on trial and error to learn by myself.

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Confidence/Humility Doesn’t Replace Communication Skills

This approach of selectively using confidence and humility for different purposes doesn’t replace communication skills. Humility isn’t going to work if the other person thinks you’re an irritating whiner. Confidence won’t work if the entire room thinks you are an arrogant jerk. Knowing how to display these two qualities takes practice.

The next time you are about to enter into an interaction ask yourself why you are doing it. Are you trying to persuade or learn? Depending on which you can take a completely different tact for far better results.

Featured photo credit: BBH Singapore via unsplash.com

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