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Small Things Couples Can Do Every Day To Keep Their Relationships Fresh

Small Things Couples Can Do Every Day To Keep Their Relationships Fresh

Anyone who’s been in a long-term relationship will tell you: the overwhelming infatuation you feel at the beginning of a relationship doesn’t last very long. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. When you first meet someone you’re attracted to, it doesn’t take much effort to forge a close bond. What does take work is keeping the relationship from growing stale and boring. But just because it takes work doesn’t mean it’s not worth it. It totally is.

Ask about their day – and listen to their answer

Do ask them how their day went. But this is the equivalent of asking your friend “What’s up?” They will most likely answer “Good” and move on to something else. But if you’re genuine when you ask them this question, it lets them know you truly want to know about their day – the good and the bad. Allow them to open up to you on a daily basis, and you’ll continue growing closer each and every day.

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Show gratitude

You’re definitely thankful for everything your love does, but do they know that? Make it a point to give thanks constantly, even for the littlest favors. If they serve you dinner, be sure to tell them how much you appreciate it. If you come home to a clean house, make it a point to say “thanks” for their hard work. Most importantly, thank them simply for being who they are, and being there for you when you need them most.

Show interest in their passions

You’re both separate people, with separate interests and hobbies. But you should always be willing to try new things together, especially if it’s something your significant other loves to do. Expand your comfort zone; you might end up finding a new passion that you can enjoy together for the rest of your lives.

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Schedule down time together

It’s no secret that we live in a busy world. Because of this, it’s incredibly important to find time to just relax together. Even if it’s ten minutes in the morning or right before bed, make it a point to turn the TV off and spend some quality time together. It may be a while before you get the chance to do so again.

Pull your weight

A relationship simply can’t be one-sided. You both have to put an equal effort into every single part of it. If your significant other’s working, make sure dinner is on the table when they get home. If you both have a night off, don’t make plans with your other friends and leave them sitting at home. Don’t be the one that forgets anniversaries and holidays. Put your all into the relationship; it might be the most important connection you make in your lifetime.

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Be excited for them

Be enthusiastic about every little thing that gets them excited. Maybe they just got a new job, or a new opportunity opened up for them at work. Maybe something interesting happened to them on the way home from class. Whatever it is, be just as excited as they are when they come to you with something worth talking about. They’re only telling you because they want to share their exuberance with you.

Be weird together

Being in a relationship with the person of your dreams should mean you don’t really care what anyone else besides that person thinks. You’d do anything to make them smile, even if it goes against social norms. Be the one to jump in a puddle and start singing in the rain, or the one who to do a cartwheel in the middle of the park while walking to a picnic bench. While taking your relationship seriously, it’s important to remember not to take life too seriously.

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Featured photo credit: Sunset / Laura Gineitytė via farm9.staticflickr.com

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Last Updated on December 3, 2019

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

There are so many lessons I wish I had learned while I was young enough to appreciate and apply them. The thing with wisdom, and often with life lessons in general, is that they’re learned in retrospect, long after we needed them. The good news is that other people can benefit from our experiences and the lessons we’ve learned.

Here’re 10 important life lessons you should learn early on:

1. Money Will Never Solve Your Real Problems

Money is a tool; a commodity that buys you necessities and some nice “wants,” but it is not the panacea to your problems.

There are a great many people who are living on very little, yet have wonderfully full and happy lives… and there are sadly a great many people are living on quite a lot, yet have terribly miserable lives.

Money can buy a nice home, a great car, fabulous shoes, even a bit of security and some creature comforts, but it cannot fix a broken relationship, or cure loneliness, and the “happiness” it brings is only fleeting and not the kind that really and truly matters. Happiness is not for sale. If you’re expecting the “stuff” you can buy to “make it better,” you will never be happy.

2. Pace Yourself

Often when we’re young, just beginning our adult journey we feel as though we have to do everything at once. We need to decide everything, plan out our lives, experience everything, get to the top, find true love, figure out our life’s purpose, and do it all at the same time.

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Slow down—don’t rush into things. Let your life unfold. Wait a bit to see where it takes you, and take time to weigh your options. Enjoy every bite of food, take time to look around you, let the other person finish their side of the conversation. Allow yourself time to think, to mull a bit.

Taking action is critical. Working towards your goals and making plans for the future is commendable and often very useful, but rushing full-speed ahead towards anything is a one-way ticket to burnout and a good way to miss your life as it passes you by.

3. You Can’t Please Everyone

“I don’t know the secret to success, but the secret to failure is trying to please everyone” – Bill Cosby.

You don’t need everyone to agree with you or even like you. It’s human nature to want to belong, to be liked, respected and valued, but not at the expense of your integrity and happiness. Other people cannot give you the validation you seek. That has to come from inside.

Speak up, stick to your guns, assert yourself when you need to, demand respect, stay true to your values.

4. Your Health Is Your Most Valuable Asset

Health is an invaluable treasure—always appreciate, nurture, and protect it. Good health is often wasted on the young before they have a chance to appreciate it for what it’s worth.

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We tend to take our good health for granted, because it’s just there. We don’t have to worry about it, so we don’t really pay attention to it… until we have to.

Heart disease, bone density, stroke, many cancers—the list of many largely preventable diseases is long, so take care of your health now, or you’ll regret it later on.

5. You Don’t Always Get What You Want

“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon

No matter how carefully you plan and how hard you work, sometimes things just don’t work out the way you want them to… and that’s okay.

We have all of these expectations; predetermined visions of what our “ideal” life will look like, but all too often, that’s not the reality of the life we end up with. Sometimes our dreams fail and sometimes we just change our minds mid-course. Sometimes we have to flop to find the right course and sometimes we just have to try a few things before we find the right direction.

6. It’s Not All About You

You are not the epicenter of the universe. It’s very difficult to view the world from a perspective outside of your own, since we are always so focused on what’s happening in our own lives. What do I have to do today? What will this mean for me, for my career, for my life? What do I want?

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It’s normal to be intensely aware of everything that’s going on in your own life, but you need to pay as much attention to what’s happening around you, and how things affect other people in the world as you do to your own life. It helps to keep things in perspective.

7. There’s No Shame in Not Knowing

No one has it all figured out. Nobody has all the answers. There’s no shame in saying “I don’t know.” Pretending to be perfect doesn’t make you perfect. It just makes you neurotic to keep up the pretense of manufactured perfection.

We have this idea that there is some kind of stigma or shame in admitting our limitations or uncertainly, but we can’t possibly know everything. We all make mistakes and mess up occasionally. We learn as we go, that’s life.

Besides—nobody likes a know-it-all. A little vulnerability makes you human and oh so much more relatable.

8. Love Is More Than a Feeling; It’s a Choice

That burst of initial exhilaration, pulse quickening love and passion does not last long. But that doesn’t mean long-lasting love is not possible.

Love is not just a feeling; it’s a choice that you make every day. We have to choose to let annoyances pass, to forgive, to be kind, to respect, to support, to be faithful.

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Relationships take work. Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it’s incredibly hard. It is up to us to choose how we want to act, think and speak in a relationship.

9. Perspective Is a Beautiful Thing

Typically, when we’re worried or upset, it’s because we’ve lost perspective. Everything that is happening in our lives seems so big, so important, so do or die, but in the grand picture, this single hiccup often means next to nothing.

The fight we’re having, the job we didn’t get, the real or imagined slight, the unexpected need to shift course, the thing we wanted, but didn’t get. Most of it won’t matter 20, 30, 40 years from now. It’s hard to see long term when all you know is short term, but unless it’s life-threatening, let it go, and move on.

10. Don’t Take Anything for Granted

We often don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone: that includes your health, your family and friends, your job, the money you have or think you will have tomorrow.

When you’re young, it seems that your parents will always be there, but they won’t. You think you have plenty of time to get back in touch with your old friends or spend time with new ones, but you don’t. You have the money to spend, or you think you’ll have it next month, but you might not.

Nothing in your life is not guaranteed to be there tomorrow, including those you love.

This is a hard life lesson to learn, but it may be the most important of all: Life can change in an instant. Make sure you appreciate what you have, while you still have it.

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Featured photo credit: Ben Eaton via unsplash.com

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