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How People Who Don’t Love Us Back Make Us Grow Stronger

How People Who Don’t Love Us Back Make Us Grow Stronger

“That which does not kill us, makes us stronger.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

No one likes to be broken and hurt. As sentient beings, we were created with the ability to love and be loved. But what do you do when you love someone and the person fails to return your feelings?

It is important not to focus on disappointment or feel that you have failed somehow. Instead, focus on the opportunity to grow from the situation. Loving someone means you are willing to give and offer a piece of yourself to make another person happier. When this is returned, you will feel wonderful. But when it is not, you will pass through a period that gives you opportunity to evolve — and become stronger. Here is why.

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You have a deeper understanding of what life and love really means

Being vulnerable is consuming. You need strength to love and you also need to be able to define what love or loving someone truly means. Without any risk or cause for pain, no knowledge is gained. When enduring a devastating period of loving someone who doesn’t love you back, you are able to evaluate the situation and prepare for something similar in the future.

You are more conscious of your feelings and you won’t readily dive in to relationships on impulse. This helps you to protect yourself from similar circumstances.

You learn to accept yourself

The reality is that not everyone in this world will love and accept you. By accepting that fact, you also learn to accept yourself and the way life works. The best way to retain strength and swim through the tides with your emotions is to accept who you are and that whatever feelings you do express should be valued.

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You are solid

Such a period of loving someone who doesn’t love you back makes you solid. You are stable and more self-assured when you go through a period of panic, pain and suffering. You evolve. You stop fighting against what is and believe in what will. You become stronger, smarter and more defined as an individual.

You have clarity

Through the process of not being loved by someone you love, you discover yourself and what you want from another person. You have clearer expectations — not only from the person you love, but also from yourself.

You can define your expectations and self-worth and can ascertain if you want to go the whole nine yards or not.

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You can grow

You certainly will meet new people and have new experiences. You can yearn to cherish what is ahead and be better prepared for it. Lessons engage our thoughts and help us grow mentally. You really can learn to be whole again after such an experience with someone who does not love you back.

You can understand your uniqueness

You must know your value and know what you need to improve in your world to become a better person. While he/she may have not loved you for a flaw, you can learn what it is and identify with it. You can either work on it or appreciate it. You know that you do not have to live your life according to another person’s standard, yet you just realize how distinct you are.

You are happy

You can be happy about your individuality. People who have not been loved by those who they love have learned to be optimistic. They can see the future and cherish it by remaining positive. It sort of gives them a clearer perspective and defines how they appreciate themselves.

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You can learn to love again

“Have enough courage to trust love one more time, and always one more time.” – Maya Angelou

Who says the world was built on emptiness and dissatisfaction? Your strength is in appreciating another person and valuing another person more than you did before — because this time you are smarter, clearer and more courageous about it.

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on September 17, 2019

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

Positive thinking can lead to a lot of positive change in your life. Developing an optimistic outlook can be good for both your physical and mental health.

But sometimes, certain situations arise in life that makes it hard to keep a positive outlook. Take steps to make positive thinking become more like your second nature and you’ll reap the biggest benefits.

Here are 10 ways to make thinking positive thoughts easy:

1. Spend Time with Positive People

If you surround yourself with constant complainers, their negativity is likely to rub off on you.

Spend time with positive friends and family members to increase the likelihood that their positive thinking habits will become yours too. It’s hard to be negative when everyone around you is so positive.

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2. Take Responsibility for Your Behavior

When you encounter problems and difficulties in life, don’t play the role of the victim. Acknowledge your role in the situation and take responsibility for your behavior.

Accepting responsibility can help you learn from mistakes and prevent you from blaming others unfairly.

3. Contribute to the Community

One of the best ways to feel good about what you have, is to focus on what you have to give.

Volunteer in some manner and give back to the community. Helping others can give you a new outlook on the world and can assist you with positive thinking.

4. Read Positive and Inspirational Materials

Spend time each day reading something that encourages positive thinking. Read the Bible, spiritual material, or inspirational quotes to help you focus on what’s important to you in life. It can be a great way to start and end your day.

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Some recommendations for you:

5. Recognize and Replace Negative Thoughts

You won’t be successful at positive thinking if you’re still plagued by frequent negative thoughts. Learn to recognize and replace thoughts that are overly negative. Often, thoughts that include words like “always” and “never” signal that they aren’t true.

If you find yourself thinking something such as, “I always mess everything up,” replace it with something more realistic such as, “Sometimes I make mistakes but I learn from them.”

There’s no need to make your thoughts unrealistically positive, but instead, make them more realistic.

6. Establish and Work Toward Goals

It’s easier to be positive about problems and setbacks when you have goals that you’re working toward. Goals will give you motivation to overcome those obstacles when you encounter problems along the way. Without clear goals, it’s harder to make decisions and gauge your progress.

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Learn to set SMART goals to help you achieve more.

7. Consider the Consequences of Negativity

Spend some time thinking about the consequences of negative thinking. Often, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

For example, a person who thinks, “I probably won’t get this job interview,” may put less effort into the interview. As a result, he may decrease his chances of getting the job.

Create a list of all the ways negative thinking impacts your life. It likely influences your behavior, your relationships, and your feelings. Then, create a list of the ways in which positive thinking could be beneficial.

8. Offer Compliments to Others

Look for reasons to compliment others. Be genuine in your praise and compliments, but offer it frequently. This will help you look for the good in other people.

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9. Create a Daily Gratitude List

If you start keeping a daily gratitude list, you’ll start noticing exactly how much you have to be thankful for. This can help you focus on the positive in your life instead of thinking about all the bad things that have happened in the day.

Getting in the habit of showing an attitude of gratitude makes positive thinking more of a habit. Here’re 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.

10. Practice Self-Care

Take good care of yourself and you’ll be more equipped to think positively.

Get plenty of rest and exercise and practice managing your stress well. Taking care of your physical and mental health will provide you with more energy to focus on positive thinking.

Learn about these 30 Self-Care Habits for a Strong and Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit.

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Featured photo credit: DESIGNECOLOGIST via unsplash.com

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