“That which does not kill us, makes us stronger.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
No one likes to be broken and hurt. As sentient beings, we were created with the ability to love and be loved. But what do you do when you love someone and the person fails to return your feelings?
It is important not to focus on disappointment or feel that you have failed somehow. Instead, focus on the opportunity to grow from the situation. Loving someone means you are willing to give and offer a piece of yourself to make another person happier. When this is returned, you will feel wonderful. But when it is not, you will pass through a period that gives you opportunity to evolve — and become stronger. Here is why.
You have a deeper understanding of what life and love really means
Being vulnerable is consuming. You need strength to love and you also need to be able to define what love or loving someone truly means. Without any risk or cause for pain, no knowledge is gained. When enduring a devastating period of loving someone who doesn’t love you back, you are able to evaluate the situation and prepare for something similar in the future.
You are more conscious of your feelings and you won’t readily dive in to relationships on impulse. This helps you to protect yourself from similar circumstances.
You learn to accept yourself
The reality is that not everyone in this world will love and accept you. By accepting that fact, you also learn to accept yourself and the way life works. The best way to retain strength and swim through the tides with your emotions is to accept who you are and that whatever feelings you do express should be valued.
You are solid
Such a period of loving someone who doesn’t love you back makes you solid. You are stable and more self-assured when you go through a period of panic, pain and suffering. You evolve. You stop fighting against what is and believe in what will. You become stronger, smarter and more defined as an individual.
You have clarity
Through the process of not being loved by someone you love, you discover yourself and what you want from another person. You have clearer expectations — not only from the person you love, but also from yourself.
You can define your expectations and self-worth and can ascertain if you want to go the whole nine yards or not.
You can grow
You certainly will meet new people and have new experiences. You can yearn to cherish what is ahead and be better prepared for it. Lessons engage our thoughts and help us grow mentally. You really can learn to be whole again after such an experience with someone who does not love you back.
You can understand your uniqueness
You must know your value and know what you need to improve in your world to become a better person. While he/she may have not loved you for a flaw, you can learn what it is and identify with it. You can either work on it or appreciate it. You know that you do not have to live your life according to another person’s standard, yet you just realize how distinct you are.
You are happy
You can be happy about your individuality. People who have not been loved by those who they love have learned to be optimistic. They can see the future and cherish it by remaining positive. It sort of gives them a clearer perspective and defines how they appreciate themselves.
You can learn to love again
“Have enough courage to trust love one more time, and always one more time.” – Maya Angelou
Who says the world was built on emptiness and dissatisfaction? Your strength is in appreciating another person and valuing another person more than you did before — because this time you are smarter, clearer and more courageous about it.
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