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8 Reasons Why Introverts Are Irresistibly Attractive

8 Reasons Why Introverts Are Irresistibly Attractive

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing more to take away.

– Antoine de Saint-Exupery

When I was growing up, I thought there was something wrong with me.

Throughout my high-school and early college years, I found myself lacking social confidence and struggling to feel comfortable in social situations.

I had an intense fear of conflict. I was a people pleaser, perfectionist, and I always feared approaching big groups. I never rose my hand in class, and I often dealt with a paralyzing over-analysis of even the most simple social situations.

Perhaps worst of all, I couldn’t attract women to save my life.

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I knew I had to discover more about myself, and find out how I could use my own strengths to my advantage.

As I developed my own style that eliminated my fears of talking to new people, I found myself able to express a new-found authenticity. I became comfortable in my own skin and was constantly learning how to improve my social skills, while at the same time using solitude to manage my energy and focus.

Here are just a few of the ideas I have learned that make introverts irresistibly attractive.

They excel at intimate connections

Introverts are very deep people. Whether it’s interactions with others, understanding the meaning of things, or learning skills, introverts want to get to the root of whatever they’re after.

That being said, they don’t often have the energy to pursue deep interactions with a large number of people. Introverts tend towards deeper interactions with a few people, as opposed to shallower interactions with a lot of people. If an introvert is interested in you, they will open their soul to you.

They will listen to you

Introverts are a type that often listen more than they speak. They crave understanding more than being understood. They want to hear others’ opinions and stories to try and piece together who they are.

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Everyone wants to be heard. As attention spans shrink in our technology-centered world, introverts make people feel important when they give them their precious energy and focus in hearing what they have to say.

They are sensitive

Studies show that introverts are physically more sensitive than extroverts.

In a recent study, lemon juice was placed on the tongues of both introverts and extroverts. Introverts were found to have salivated more when subjected to the lemon juice. This study shows that introverts’ brains are more responsive to stimuli, and this greater response means that introverts are more sensitive to external events.

Introverts feel what others feel. This can range from intense feelings of guilt when they feel like they might have upset someone, to strong feelings of happiness and fulfillment when they do something positive for someone else.

They love deep conversation

Introverts would rather talk about values than the weather. They would rather talk about childhood events that shaped someone’s life as opposed to learning what someone had for dinner last night. They love to talk about things they’re passionate about, and once they start, it can be hard to get them to stop.

These kinds of deep conversations can form a strong connection between two people, and make them feel like they’ve known each other for years. Making yourself vulnerable and talking about deep topics is critical for building attraction.

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They use solitude to improve themselves

It’s no surprise that introverts spend more time in solitude than extroverts. During this alone time, they aren’t just staring blankly at a wall.

They’re reading a fiction novel that excites their imagination. They’re reading “how-to” books, studying great characters in movies and TV shows, and listening to music that makes them feel a certain way. Introverts are always looking for more knowledge, more skills, and more ways to improve themselves.

They aren’t easy

One of the greatest assets of an attractive introvert is their mystery. They don’t share everything with everyone, and they like to keep it that way.

They are quiet around some, and loud around others. They keep people guessing, and can make others feel like they have earned their interest. Introverts are at peace with the fact that some people will never understand them. This lack of complete understanding can spark a curiosity that quickly builds into attraction.

They keep it real

Introverts are not usually salesmen. They’re not known for their ability to spin reality into something that sounds better than it is. What you get from an introvert is an authenticity that can be seen as refreshing and attractive.

They are better at delaying gratification

Introverts are less impulsive and spend more time thinking things through. They are more willing to make sacrifices in the short-term to achieve something greater for themselves and others in the long-run.

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Introverts can be insanely attractive. It just might take some time and effort to get them to open up.

As humans we value things that are scarce. Introverts provide this scarcity in an intriguing way that creates meaningful, lasting relationships.

If you’re an introvert, you might often think that you have to have “more” in order to be attractive. You know what’s more, though? Less is more. You don’t necessarily need more stories or funny lines, you just have to learn how to unleash the skills you do have in the most powerful way.

Featured photo credit: unsplash.com via pexels.com

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Nathan Adlam

Professional Boss

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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