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8 Reasons Why Introverts Are Irresistibly Attractive

8 Reasons Why Introverts Are Irresistibly Attractive

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing more to take away.

– Antoine de Saint-Exupery

When I was growing up, I thought there was something wrong with me.

Throughout my high-school and early college years, I found myself lacking social confidence and struggling to feel comfortable in social situations.

I had an intense fear of conflict. I was a people pleaser, perfectionist, and I always feared approaching big groups. I never rose my hand in class, and I often dealt with a paralyzing over-analysis of even the most simple social situations.

Perhaps worst of all, I couldn’t attract women to save my life.

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I knew I had to discover more about myself, and find out how I could use my own strengths to my advantage.

As I developed my own style that eliminated my fears of talking to new people, I found myself able to express a new-found authenticity. I became comfortable in my own skin and was constantly learning how to improve my social skills, while at the same time using solitude to manage my energy and focus.

Here are just a few of the ideas I have learned that make introverts irresistibly attractive.

They excel at intimate connections

Introverts are very deep people. Whether it’s interactions with others, understanding the meaning of things, or learning skills, introverts want to get to the root of whatever they’re after.

That being said, they don’t often have the energy to pursue deep interactions with a large number of people. Introverts tend towards deeper interactions with a few people, as opposed to shallower interactions with a lot of people. If an introvert is interested in you, they will open their soul to you.

They will listen to you

Introverts are a type that often listen more than they speak. They crave understanding more than being understood. They want to hear others’ opinions and stories to try and piece together who they are.

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Everyone wants to be heard. As attention spans shrink in our technology-centered world, introverts make people feel important when they give them their precious energy and focus in hearing what they have to say.

They are sensitive

Studies show that introverts are physically more sensitive than extroverts.

In a recent study, lemon juice was placed on the tongues of both introverts and extroverts. Introverts were found to have salivated more when subjected to the lemon juice. This study shows that introverts’ brains are more responsive to stimuli, and this greater response means that introverts are more sensitive to external events.

Introverts feel what others feel. This can range from intense feelings of guilt when they feel like they might have upset someone, to strong feelings of happiness and fulfillment when they do something positive for someone else.

They love deep conversation

Introverts would rather talk about values than the weather. They would rather talk about childhood events that shaped someone’s life as opposed to learning what someone had for dinner last night. They love to talk about things they’re passionate about, and once they start, it can be hard to get them to stop.

These kinds of deep conversations can form a strong connection between two people, and make them feel like they’ve known each other for years. Making yourself vulnerable and talking about deep topics is critical for building attraction.

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They use solitude to improve themselves

It’s no surprise that introverts spend more time in solitude than extroverts. During this alone time, they aren’t just staring blankly at a wall.

They’re reading a fiction novel that excites their imagination. They’re reading “how-to” books, studying great characters in movies and TV shows, and listening to music that makes them feel a certain way. Introverts are always looking for more knowledge, more skills, and more ways to improve themselves.

They aren’t easy

One of the greatest assets of an attractive introvert is their mystery. They don’t share everything with everyone, and they like to keep it that way.

They are quiet around some, and loud around others. They keep people guessing, and can make others feel like they have earned their interest. Introverts are at peace with the fact that some people will never understand them. This lack of complete understanding can spark a curiosity that quickly builds into attraction.

They keep it real

Introverts are not usually salesmen. They’re not known for their ability to spin reality into something that sounds better than it is. What you get from an introvert is an authenticity that can be seen as refreshing and attractive.

They are better at delaying gratification

Introverts are less impulsive and spend more time thinking things through. They are more willing to make sacrifices in the short-term to achieve something greater for themselves and others in the long-run.

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Introverts can be insanely attractive. It just might take some time and effort to get them to open up.

As humans we value things that are scarce. Introverts provide this scarcity in an intriguing way that creates meaningful, lasting relationships.

If you’re an introvert, you might often think that you have to have “more” in order to be attractive. You know what’s more, though? Less is more. You don’t necessarily need more stories or funny lines, you just have to learn how to unleash the skills you do have in the most powerful way.

Featured photo credit: unsplash.com via pexels.com

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Nathan Adlam

Professional Boss

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Last Updated on November 4, 2020

15 Simple Ways To Make Self Improvement That Will Change Your Life

15 Simple Ways To Make Self Improvement That Will Change Your Life

Self-improvement doesn’t have to be big mind-blowing changes; it can actually be simple steps to improve upon what you already have to get you where you want to be.  However, what you will need is consistency, determination and wiliness to try some things that will stretch and challenge you.

Rather than setting your sights way off into the future, which leaves you feeling like you’ll never make it, you can start following these simple and effective self-improvement steps today.  So if you want to make an immediate impact on your life and are willing to take action, then keep reading— you’ll going to love these!

1. Be willing to work hard.

As with anything in life, if you want something, you’ve got to work hard to get it.  This doesn’t mean you burn the candle at both ends, leaving you exhausted and leaving your personal life in ruins.  It merely means that when you want something badly enough, you’ll put in the time to get there.  Action is what’s important here and the more ‘inspired’ the action is, the better the results in the end.

2. Make sure you have friends who you can talk to.

Sharing the load is important as with any self-improvement. If you can communicate with others and get feedback on how you are doing then that’s great.  We all need ‘cheerleaders’ in our corner to keep us going when times get hard, but you also need to have people who will tell you how it is even when you don’t want to hear it.  So make sure you have a good support network around you, especially those people whose opinions you respect.

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3. Adapt to your circumstances rather than over-thinking them.

Sometimes, we can hit a hard period. Perhaps you’ve lost your job or your partner has left you.  Instead of over analyzing the situation, learn to adapt to your circumstances and accept them as they are.  It’s not about making your circumstances into some kind of a drama; remember, what you focus on expands which means you’ll get more of it.  You then don’t become your problems and you’ll feel a lot less burdened by them.

4. Ensure that you use your time wisely.

Time is of the essence, some might say; whilst others will say that time is an illusion.  One thing we do know is that you have one life on this planet, so how you use that time is of the utmost importance.  So how can you use your time wisely? Only you know how to do that, but look at how you currently spend your days: do you sit working all day, get home, eat and then sit slumped in front of the TV for the rest of the evening?  Your time on this earth is precious, so isn’t it time to make use of the time you have left? Try something new, go for a walk, learn a new language or meditate but make sure it’s something you absolutely love.

5. Always be consistent.

A wonderful way to self-improvement is to make changes to how you do things.  For example, with your friends, are you always the unreliable one who bows out of an arrangement just before it happens? Or are you someone who starts a new exercise routine and then stops doing it 3 weeks into it?  Whatever it is and whatever you do, always be consistent. When you make a commitment, stick to it. It will improve your life immeasurably you’ll feel more confident and happier with yourself, especially because you’ll know that whatever you tackle, you’ll be able to consistently do it!

6. Go and find your happy place.

No, I’m not saying “place” as in popping to your local bar or restaurant and gorging yourself on your favorite drinks or food. What I’m saying is to find out what you love to do, what makes you happy and go there.  Your happy place is a place where you find peace, where you lose yourself and feel contented.  Meditation is a great way to find your happy place; it brings you back to you and ensures that you are always living in the present moment.

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7. Make sure you embrace all your emotions.

In life you are going to find that it throws you some difficult challenges, sometimes it will bring out your fears and lead you into uncertainty, and other times it will be joyful.  It’s important to embrace all emotions that come up in your life, embrace them wholeheartedly and understand why they are there and then let them go.  Try not to dismiss or resist them because remember “what you resist, persists,” so embrace them each and every time.

8. Always be prepared to step out of your comfort zone.

The idea of stepping out of your comfort zone for some people can leave you paralyzed with fear; however for any changing in your life, your comfort zone will always have to be stepped out of.  It doesn’t have to be something big, like doing a sky-dive or something just as crazy. However, it’s worthwhile to change something that you’d once have feared, like going to the cinema on your own or eating at a sushi restaurant when the thought of trying raw fish which would normally mean you running for the hills.

So try something new—it doesn’t have to be wacky, but it has to challenge you!

9. Be on hand to help others.

Whether it’s helping a stranger on the street or a family member or a friend helping someone else either in their time of need, lending a helping hand is a wonderful and simple self-improvement to make.  Giving to others is not only beneficial to those you are helping but also to yourself; it can give you a sense of purpose, of contribution and also takes your mind of your own troubles and worries.

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10. Live in the present moment.

A wonderful self-improvement tool is to live in the present moment, to live in the now.  It is within this moment that you’ll appreciate all that you have and see the beauty in the simplest of things.  Being mindful of your current circumstances and bringing your mind back to where it belongs will bring about a happier way of life instead of constant worry or stressing about the past or future—both of which do not exist. Only the present moment exists. When you get used to living that way, you’ll never want to go back!

11. Learn something new.

There is nothing so liberating as learning something new; it can lift both your confidence and self-esteem and give you a great reason to meet new people.  If you continually top up your brain activity by learning something new all the time, you’ll feel on top of your game and want to share the knowledge you have learned. There is nothing quite so empowering as learning a new tool in life that can either improve your circle of friends or raise confidence levels—or both!

Reading is also a great way to help you learn something new:

12. Exercise daily.

This seems an obvious one, but exercise is so important not only to your health but also to your spirit.  We all know that after exercise, the world can feel a brighter and more positive place, so why don’t we do it more often?  Exercise isn’t about getting the perfect body or losing weight; it’s more about feeling good inside and out!  With a healthy body comes a healthy mind—so start something today. Even if it’s just a daily walk, it’s better than staying on that couch, again.

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13. Go to new places, travel a bit.

I’m not saying go fly off to some far away distant forgotten land—although you can if you so wish. It’s more about going to new places and experiencing life outside of your own back yard.  Too many of us stay in one place too often. We only see the same people, the same streets and do the same things each and every day.  If you want to improve your life, get out there and see the world and what it can offer.  You can start by going to a town or city you’ve never been to in your own country and checking out the architecture, the landscapes and the people.  Anything new is good, so get out there!

14. Listen to uplifting music and dance.

If there’s one thing that can really improve your life and get you excited about it, it’s listening to great uplifting music and dancing.  When was the last time you really let go?  Let it all hang loose and got into a piece of music and let yourself go?  Dancing, like exercise, makes you feel great. It releases all kinds of emotions and can make you feel unbelievably good.  Self-improvement isn’t all about the serious stuff; it can be something as simple as finding new music, music that inspires you and makes you dance and have fun!

15. Get up earlier than normal.

This is the last one, and it’s last because it’s one of those self-improvement tips that we all know is a good thing, yet we seem to avoid it at all costs!  If you think about it, the earliest part of the day is when your brain is most active because it’s been turned off for the last 7 hours or so.  So don’t you think it’s best to get all those things above done in the morning?  Things like exercise, meditation and dancing, which can all be done in the first part of the day.  Take it from me: this early morning stuff can really get your day started with a bang!

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Featured photo credit: Laura Chouette via unsplash.com

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