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13 Things To Remember Before Dating An Outgoing Girl With A Guarded Heart

13 Things To Remember Before Dating An Outgoing Girl With A Guarded Heart

While you may view it as a complex process, dating an outgoing girl with a guarded heart opens your world to exhilarating revelations. There is a lot of intrigue when it comes to dating someone who is defensive. However, you will be more prepared to deal with dating a girl like this when you can remember these things.

1. She is a people person

She is concerned about relationships. And she is happy being with people. But she should not be trampled upon, because she has secured and bordered her own personal territory.

2. She doesn’t make the same mistake twice

She lives for the present. If she has failed or made a mistake, she is learning from it. She simply wants to be right and enjoy where she is at right now — you shouldn’t try to stop her from doing that.

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3. She laughs a lot

She is a cheerful person. She knows her cheer and big smile are attractive and warm people up to her. She rarely puts up a frown or a stern face. She simply wants people to be comfortable and relaxed when they are around her.

4. She is curious

While she smiles and acts defensively, she is inquisitive and wants to know what you are up to. Maybe she likes you, and maybe not, but she still wants to know what you are up to.

5. She needs you to be patient

She is not in a hurry to do anything, or seemingly appears not to be. She wants to do things on her own terms and there is nothing you should do to upset that.

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6. She is worth the wait

Don’t be mistaken or misconstrue her evasiveness, she is not turned off or arrogant, she simply wants to be subjugated. And, yes, she is definitely worth the wait. After giving you such a hard time, she will love you deeply.

7. She is defensive

She is protecting the great things she has stored within herself. She is simply not in a hurry because she has learned that rushing into things doesn’t usually end up well. She is willing to take her time, and building such great walls around her heart will help her through this ordeal of getting what she wants.

8. She is yearning

She may seem solid and formidable, but she yearns for you to do the “manly” thing. She wants to know what you are capable of doing. She actually wants to see it and experience it.

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9. She is focused

She used her guarded heart to identify her objectives and focus on getting them. So, yes, she can be obstinate or dogged, but it doesn’t make her an awful person. She simply wants to get the best of what she wants out of her life and she knows distractions won’t help her get it.

10. She is a mixed breed

Don’t assume that she is simply the fearless type. She also has her concerns, anxieties, and fears. She is actually a mixed breed — a fearful person that displays courage.

11. She appears intimidating

Yes, she uses all her strength for being social and outgoing to intimidate you. But, don’t be intimidated by that. She is as welcoming as any other person you might just meet.

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12. She will never tell you everything

Let her make her conclusions about you first, because as much as she acts verbal and voiced, she is still going to keep a lot of things away from you. Work on the trust first.

13. She is never boring

This is why she is always worth the wait: she is just plain fun to be with. She will always engage you with thoughtful conversations and make you laugh in the process. At the end of the day, you will understand that all her gimmicks are part of her charm and plan to reach happiness.

Featured photo credit: Girl Playfully Laughing Whilst Sitting On A Boat At The Beach/Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on December 16, 2018

12 Simple Ways You Can Build A Positive Attitude

12 Simple Ways You Can Build A Positive Attitude

We all look for a better and happier life, but somehow we realize it’s our attitude that makes it hard to lead the life we want. How can we build a positive attitude? Grant Mathews has listed out the things (from the easiest to the hardest) we can do to cultivate this attitude on Quora:

1. Listen to good music.

Music definitely improves your mood, and it’s a really simple thing to do.

2. Don’t watch television passively.

Studies have shown that people who watch TV less are happier, which leads me to my next point…

3. Don’t do anything passively.

Whenever I do something, I like to ask myself if, at the end of the day, I would be content saying that I had spent time doing it. (This is why I block sites I find myself wasting too much time on. I enjoy them, but they’re just not worth it when I could be learning something new, or working on projects I care about.)

Time is incredibly valuable.

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4. Be aware of negativity

A community that considers itself intelligent tends to be negativity because criticizing is seen as a signaling mechanism to indicate that you’re more intelligent than the person you corrected. This was irrationally frustrating for me – it’s one of those things you’ll stay up all night to think about.

5. Make time to be alone.

I initially said “take time just to be alone.” I changed it because if you don’t ensure you can take a break, you’ll surely be interrupted.

Being with other people is something you can do to make you happy, but I don’t include it in this list because nearly everyone finds time to talk with friends. On the other hand, spending time just with yourself is almost considered a taboo.

Take some time to figure out who you are.

6. Exercise.

This is the best way to improve your immediate happiness.

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Exercise probably makes you happy. Try and go on a run. You’ll hate yourself while doing it, but the gratification that you get towards the end vastly outweighs the frustration of the first few attempts. I can’t say enough good things about exercise.

Exercising is also fantastic because it gives you time alone.

7. Have projects.

Having a goal, and moving towards it, is a key to happiness.

You have to realize though that achieving the goal is not necessarily what makes you happy – it’s the process. When I write music, I write it because writing is inherently enjoyable, not because I want to get popular (as if!).

8. Take time to do the things you enjoy.

That’s very general, so let me give you a good example.

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One of the things that has really changed my life was finding small communities centered around activities I enjoy. For instance, I like writing music, so I’m part of a community that meets up to write a song for an hour every week. I love the community. I’ve also written a song every week, 37 weeks in a row, which has gradually moved me towards larger goals and makes me feel very satisfied.

9. Change your definition of happiness.

Another reason I think I’m more happy than other people is because my definition of happiness is a lot more relaxed than most people’s. I don’t seek for some sort of constant euphoria; I don’t think it’s possible to live like that. My happiness is closer to stability.

10. Ignore things that don’t make you happy.

I get varying reactions to this one.

The argument goes “if something is making you unhappy, then you should find out why and improve it, not ignore it.” If you can do that, great. But on the other hand, there’s no reason to mope about a bad score on a test.

There’s another counterargument: perhaps you’re moping because your brain is trying to work out how to improve. In fact, this is the key purpose of depression: Depression’s Upside – NYTimes.com

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I can think of examples that go both ways. I remember, for instance, when I was debating a year or two ago and my partner and I would lose a round, I would mull over what we had done wrong for a long time. In that way, I got immensely better at debate (and public speaking in general – did you know debate has amazing effects on your public speaking ability? But now I really digress).

On the other hand, there’s no way that mulling over how dumb you were for missing that +x term on the left hand side will make you better at math. So stop worrying about it, and go practice math instead.

11. Find a way to measure your progress, and then measure it.

Video games are addictive for a reason: filling up an experience bar and making it to the next level is immensely satisfying. I think that it would be really cool if we could apply this concept to the real world.

I put this near the bottom of the list because, unfortunately, this hasn’t been done too often in the real world – startup idea, anyone? So you would have to do it yourself, which is difficult when you don’t even know how much you’ve progressed.

For a while, I kept a log of the runs I had taken, and my average speed. It was really cool to see my improvement over the weeks. (Also, I was exercising. Combining the two was fantastic for boosting happiness.)

12. Realize that happiness is an evolutionary reward, not an objective truth.

It’s easy to see that this is correct, but this is at the bottom of the list for a reason.

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