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13 Things To Remember Before Dating An Outgoing Girl With A Guarded Heart

13 Things To Remember Before Dating An Outgoing Girl With A Guarded Heart

While you may view it as a complex process, dating an outgoing girl with a guarded heart opens your world to exhilarating revelations. There is a lot of intrigue when it comes to dating someone who is defensive. However, you will be more prepared to deal with dating a girl like this when you can remember these things.

1. She is a people person

She is concerned about relationships. And she is happy being with people. But she should not be trampled upon, because she has secured and bordered her own personal territory.

2. She doesn’t make the same mistake twice

She lives for the present. If she has failed or made a mistake, she is learning from it. She simply wants to be right and enjoy where she is at right now — you shouldn’t try to stop her from doing that.

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3. She laughs a lot

She is a cheerful person. She knows her cheer and big smile are attractive and warm people up to her. She rarely puts up a frown or a stern face. She simply wants people to be comfortable and relaxed when they are around her.

4. She is curious

While she smiles and acts defensively, she is inquisitive and wants to know what you are up to. Maybe she likes you, and maybe not, but she still wants to know what you are up to.

5. She needs you to be patient

She is not in a hurry to do anything, or seemingly appears not to be. She wants to do things on her own terms and there is nothing you should do to upset that.

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6. She is worth the wait

Don’t be mistaken or misconstrue her evasiveness, she is not turned off or arrogant, she simply wants to be subjugated. And, yes, she is definitely worth the wait. After giving you such a hard time, she will love you deeply.

7. She is defensive

She is protecting the great things she has stored within herself. She is simply not in a hurry because she has learned that rushing into things doesn’t usually end up well. She is willing to take her time, and building such great walls around her heart will help her through this ordeal of getting what she wants.

8. She is yearning

She may seem solid and formidable, but she yearns for you to do the “manly” thing. She wants to know what you are capable of doing. She actually wants to see it and experience it.

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9. She is focused

She used her guarded heart to identify her objectives and focus on getting them. So, yes, she can be obstinate or dogged, but it doesn’t make her an awful person. She simply wants to get the best of what she wants out of her life and she knows distractions won’t help her get it.

10. She is a mixed breed

Don’t assume that she is simply the fearless type. She also has her concerns, anxieties, and fears. She is actually a mixed breed — a fearful person that displays courage.

11. She appears intimidating

Yes, she uses all her strength for being social and outgoing to intimidate you. But, don’t be intimidated by that. She is as welcoming as any other person you might just meet.

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12. She will never tell you everything

Let her make her conclusions about you first, because as much as she acts verbal and voiced, she is still going to keep a lot of things away from you. Work on the trust first.

13. She is never boring

This is why she is always worth the wait: she is just plain fun to be with. She will always engage you with thoughtful conversations and make you laugh in the process. At the end of the day, you will understand that all her gimmicks are part of her charm and plan to reach happiness.

Featured photo credit: Girl Playfully Laughing Whilst Sitting On A Boat At The Beach/Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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