Advertising
Advertising

13 Things To Remember Before Dating An Outgoing Girl With A Guarded Heart

13 Things To Remember Before Dating An Outgoing Girl With A Guarded Heart

While you may view it as a complex process, dating an outgoing girl with a guarded heart opens your world to exhilarating revelations. There is a lot of intrigue when it comes to dating someone who is defensive. However, you will be more prepared to deal with dating a girl like this when you can remember these things.

1. She is a people person

She is concerned about relationships. And she is happy being with people. But she should not be trampled upon, because she has secured and bordered her own personal territory.

2. She doesn’t make the same mistake twice

She lives for the present. If she has failed or made a mistake, she is learning from it. She simply wants to be right and enjoy where she is at right now — you shouldn’t try to stop her from doing that.

Advertising

3. She laughs a lot

She is a cheerful person. She knows her cheer and big smile are attractive and warm people up to her. She rarely puts up a frown or a stern face. She simply wants people to be comfortable and relaxed when they are around her.

4. She is curious

While she smiles and acts defensively, she is inquisitive and wants to know what you are up to. Maybe she likes you, and maybe not, but she still wants to know what you are up to.

5. She needs you to be patient

She is not in a hurry to do anything, or seemingly appears not to be. She wants to do things on her own terms and there is nothing you should do to upset that.

Advertising

6. She is worth the wait

Don’t be mistaken or misconstrue her evasiveness, she is not turned off or arrogant, she simply wants to be subjugated. And, yes, she is definitely worth the wait. After giving you such a hard time, she will love you deeply.

7. She is defensive

She is protecting the great things she has stored within herself. She is simply not in a hurry because she has learned that rushing into things doesn’t usually end up well. She is willing to take her time, and building such great walls around her heart will help her through this ordeal of getting what she wants.

8. She is yearning

She may seem solid and formidable, but she yearns for you to do the “manly” thing. She wants to know what you are capable of doing. She actually wants to see it and experience it.

Advertising

9. She is focused

She used her guarded heart to identify her objectives and focus on getting them. So, yes, she can be obstinate or dogged, but it doesn’t make her an awful person. She simply wants to get the best of what she wants out of her life and she knows distractions won’t help her get it.

10. She is a mixed breed

Don’t assume that she is simply the fearless type. She also has her concerns, anxieties, and fears. She is actually a mixed breed — a fearful person that displays courage.

11. She appears intimidating

Yes, she uses all her strength for being social and outgoing to intimidate you. But, don’t be intimidated by that. She is as welcoming as any other person you might just meet.

Advertising

12. She will never tell you everything

Let her make her conclusions about you first, because as much as she acts verbal and voiced, she is still going to keep a lot of things away from you. Work on the trust first.

13. She is never boring

This is why she is always worth the wait: she is just plain fun to be with. She will always engage you with thoughtful conversations and make you laugh in the process. At the end of the day, you will understand that all her gimmicks are part of her charm and plan to reach happiness.

Featured photo credit: Girl Playfully Laughing Whilst Sitting On A Boat At The Beach/Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

More by this author

Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

10 Habits Of People Who Are Highly Successful At Work How to Form Your Success Formula to Get Unstuck in Life 6 Things To Do Every Day To Ensure You Stick To Your Goals 13 Signs You’re A Pretty Quick Learner 8 Reasons Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful

Trending in Communication

1 7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language 2 How to Apologize When You Have Made a Mistake 3 7 Science-Backed Books About Spirituality That Will Change Your Life 4 20 Things Life Is Too Short to Worry About 5 How to Find Inner Peace and Lasting Happiness

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on January 15, 2021

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

Posture

First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

  • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
  • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
  • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
  • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

Facial Expressions

Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

  • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
  • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
  • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

Advertising

1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

2. Relax Your Face

New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

Advertising

3. Improve Your Eye Contact

Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

3. Smile More

There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

4. Hand Gestures

Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

Advertising

It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

5. Enhance Your Handshake

In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

“Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

Advertising

Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

Final Takeaways

Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next