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13 Things To Remember Before Dating An Outgoing Girl With A Guarded Heart

13 Things To Remember Before Dating An Outgoing Girl With A Guarded Heart

While you may view it as a complex process, dating an outgoing girl with a guarded heart opens your world to exhilarating revelations. There is a lot of intrigue when it comes to dating someone who is defensive. However, you will be more prepared to deal with dating a girl like this when you can remember these things.

1. She is a people person

She is concerned about relationships. And she is happy being with people. But she should not be trampled upon, because she has secured and bordered her own personal territory.

2. She doesn’t make the same mistake twice

She lives for the present. If she has failed or made a mistake, she is learning from it. She simply wants to be right and enjoy where she is at right now — you shouldn’t try to stop her from doing that.

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3. She laughs a lot

She is a cheerful person. She knows her cheer and big smile are attractive and warm people up to her. She rarely puts up a frown or a stern face. She simply wants people to be comfortable and relaxed when they are around her.

4. She is curious

While she smiles and acts defensively, she is inquisitive and wants to know what you are up to. Maybe she likes you, and maybe not, but she still wants to know what you are up to.

5. She needs you to be patient

She is not in a hurry to do anything, or seemingly appears not to be. She wants to do things on her own terms and there is nothing you should do to upset that.

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6. She is worth the wait

Don’t be mistaken or misconstrue her evasiveness, she is not turned off or arrogant, she simply wants to be subjugated. And, yes, she is definitely worth the wait. After giving you such a hard time, she will love you deeply.

7. She is defensive

She is protecting the great things she has stored within herself. She is simply not in a hurry because she has learned that rushing into things doesn’t usually end up well. She is willing to take her time, and building such great walls around her heart will help her through this ordeal of getting what she wants.

8. She is yearning

She may seem solid and formidable, but she yearns for you to do the “manly” thing. She wants to know what you are capable of doing. She actually wants to see it and experience it.

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9. She is focused

She used her guarded heart to identify her objectives and focus on getting them. So, yes, she can be obstinate or dogged, but it doesn’t make her an awful person. She simply wants to get the best of what she wants out of her life and she knows distractions won’t help her get it.

10. She is a mixed breed

Don’t assume that she is simply the fearless type. She also has her concerns, anxieties, and fears. She is actually a mixed breed — a fearful person that displays courage.

11. She appears intimidating

Yes, she uses all her strength for being social and outgoing to intimidate you. But, don’t be intimidated by that. She is as welcoming as any other person you might just meet.

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12. She will never tell you everything

Let her make her conclusions about you first, because as much as she acts verbal and voiced, she is still going to keep a lot of things away from you. Work on the trust first.

13. She is never boring

This is why she is always worth the wait: she is just plain fun to be with. She will always engage you with thoughtful conversations and make you laugh in the process. At the end of the day, you will understand that all her gimmicks are part of her charm and plan to reach happiness.

Featured photo credit: Girl Playfully Laughing Whilst Sitting On A Boat At The Beach/Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on June 24, 2019

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

A study [1] published in Depression and Anxiety found that social media users are more likely to be depressed. This was just one of the huge number of studies linking social media and depression[2] . But why exactly do platforms like Facebook and Instagram make people so unhappy? Well, we don’t know yet for sure, but there are some explanations.

Social Media Could Lead to Depression

Depression is a serious medical condition that affects how you think, feel, and behave. Social media may lead to depression in predisposed individuals or make existing symptoms of depression[3] worse explains[4] the study above’s senior author Dr. Brian Primack. So, the problem may not be in social media per se, but how we use it.

Signs You’re Suffering From “Social Media Depression”

If you feel like social media is having a negative impact on your mood, then you may be suffering from “social media depression.” Look for symptoms like:

• low self-esteem,

• negative self-talk,

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• a low mood,

• irritability,

• a lack of interest in activities once enjoyed,

• and social withdrawal.

If you’ve had these symptoms for more than two weeks and if this is how you feel most of the time, then you are likely depressed. Although “social media depression “is not a term recognized in the medical setting, social media depression seems to be a real phenomenon affecting around 50% of social media users. As explained in a review study[5] published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, if a person has a certain predisposition to depression and other mental disorders, social media use may only worsen their mental health.

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Social Media Could Crush Self-Esteem

We know that social media and depression are in some way linked, but why is this so? Well, according to Igor Pantic, MD, Ph.D.[6], social media use skews your perception about other people’s lives and traits. To explain this further, most people like to portray an idealized image of their lives, personal traits, and appearance on sites like Facebook and Instagram. If you confuse this idealized image with reality, you may be under the false impression that everyone is better than you which can crush your self-esteem and lead to depression. This is especially true for teens and young adults who are more likely to compare themselves to others. If you already suffer from low self-esteem, the illusion that everyone has it better off than you will just make you feel worse.

Causing Social Isolation and Other Negative Emotions

Another commonly cited reason for the negative impact of social media on mental health is its link with social isolation. Depressed people are more likely to isolate themselves socially and chose only to interact indirectly through social media platforms. But communication online tends to be superficial and is lacking when compared to real-life interaction explains Panic. What this means is not that social media leads to isolation but the other way around, possibly explaining why we find so many depressed persons on these sites.

Lastly, social media use may generate negative emotions in you like envy, jealousy, dislike, loneliness, and many others and this may worsen your depressive symptoms.

Why We Need to Take This Seriously

Both depression and social media use are on the rise according to epidemiological studies. Since each one has an impact on the other, we have to start thinking of healthier ways to use social media. Teens and young adults are especially vulnerable to the negative impact of social media on mental health.

Advice on Social Media Use

Although these findings did not provide any cause-effect explanation regarding Facebook and depression[7], they still do prove that social media use may not be a good way to handle depression. For this reason, the leading authors of these studies gave some suggestions as to how clinicians and people can make use of such findings.

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One suggestion is that clinicians should ask patients about their social media habits. Then they can advise them on how to change their outlook on social media use or even suggest limiting their time spent on social media.

Some social media users may also exhibit addictive behavior; they may spend too much time due to compulsive urges. Any compulsive behavior is bound to lead to feelings of guilt which can worsen depressive symptoms.

Having Unhealthy Relationship with Social Media

If you feel like your relationship with social media is unhealthy, then consider the advice on healthy social media use provided by psychology experts from Links Psychology[8]:

Avoid negative social comparison – always keep in mind that how people portray themselves and their lives on social media is not a realistic picture, but rather an idealized one. Also, avoid comparing yourself to others because this behavior can lead to negative self-talk.

Remember that social media is not a replacement for real life – Social media is great for staying in touch and having fun, but it should never replace real-world interactions.

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Avoid releasing personal information – For your safety and privacy, make sure to be careful with what you post online.

Report users who bully and harass you – It’s easy to be a bully in the anonymous and distant world of social media. Don’t take such offense personally and report those who abuse social media to harass others.

The bits of advice listed above can help you establish a healthy relationship with social media. Always keep these things in mind to avoid losing an objective perspective of what social media is and how it is different from real life. If you are currently suffering from depression, talk to your doctor about what is bothering you so that you can get the treatment you need to get better. Tell your doctor about your social media use and see if they could give you some advice on this topic.

Reference

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