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If You’ve Been Doing These 4 Things, You’re Not Far Away From Success

If You’ve Been Doing These 4 Things, You’re Not Far Away From Success

Success is a tricky thing. It is defined differently by every person. Whether you are the richest person on the Forbes list or you are a broke college kid, we are all striving for our definition of success. Often times it seems so distant. Do you ever feel like giving up?

Success can never be bought — it can only be rented. The best part about that is that anyone can be successful if they keep trying and paying the rent. If you are doing the 5 things below, you are closer to success than you might realize.

You are not far away from success if…

1. You have friends who are more successful than you.

Have you ever heard the term “Success by association?” The term was coined by Harvard professor David McClelland. He devoted most of his life to studying the most common characteristics in successful people. He discovered that the single most important factor in determining success or failure is your reference group. Who you associate with is even more important than how hard you try.

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If you are anything like me, you get filled with jealousy when someone else gets the raise you thought you deserved. You get angry when your friend get’s the promotion or they get the bigger deal than you. It’s extremely common to be jealous, but if you continue to surround yourself with those types of people, you will be that much closer to your success.

If your friends are more successful than you, you are in a very good place.

2. You hate to lose.

Everyone loves to win, but not everyone hates to lose.

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Don Yaeger, one of the sports writing greats, penned a book called The 16 characteristics of True Champions . The number one characteristic of champions was that they hate to lose more than they love to win. He studied all the greats — from Michael Jordan to UCLA coach John Wooden — and that was the #1 thing that every single champion had in common.

Do you hate it when your sibling beats you in Monopoly? Do you hate it when your spouse wins in a “friendly” game of pool? If you hate losing in the small parts of life all the way to the big time, you are not from away from success.

3. You read.

President Harry S. Truman said, “Not all readers are leaders, but all leaders are readers.”

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It has been proven over and over that the children who read more than average are more successful in school. They score higher on tests and are more literate. Do you think this carries over once you are out of school? Of course it does. I would take a wild guess that you are reading this article because you strive for success in at least one area of your life.

People who are not looking for success don’t look in books or articles. The single fact that you are reading this article proves you are that much closer to success than you realize.

4. You have failed.

“Failure is success in progress.” –Albert Einstein

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What does success have to do with failure? Everything. The title of Tim Harford’s latest best selling book was called Adapt: Why Success Always Starts with Failure. Failure leads to success because it does a lot of things to you:

  • It makes you change.
  • You learn what doesn’t work.
  • It gives you thick skin.
  • It helps you not fear failure.

Darren Hardy describes failure and success like a pendulum. On one side, you have success, growth and achievement. On the other side, you have failure, rejection and pain. The further you swing the pendulum to the failure side, the further the pendulum will swing to the success side. If you have ever failed, or you have been failing recently, you are not far away from success.

Success is a tricky thing. Sometimes it feels like our success is miles away and headed the other way. But if you are doing these four things, it’s not as far away as you think.

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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