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10 Reasons Why Single Dads Are Good Lovers

10 Reasons Why Single Dads Are Good Lovers
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If you’re looking for love and not including single dads in your list, maybe it’s time you give a second thought to it. Being a single parent is not easy but there’s some kind of sexiness when it comes to dating single dads. Plus, it’s never too easy to find someone who’s ready to start a relationship and still raising his child.

You might also not be so reluctant to find love in a man who shares children and custody with an ex, but the devotion they have to their children shows their commitment and compassion towards a true relationship. Dating a single dad comes with obstacles, but there are plenty of reasons why you should be avoiding the bedroom because you find out your date has a past and a child.

Check out these reasons why single dads are good lovers to make sure why you might be going to do the best thing in your life.

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1. They are patient.

One thing that’s most necessary to make a relationship work is patience and single dads have mastered the skill. Anyone who needs to prepare meals for their kids, manage their dresses, pack for all eventualities and do daily chores they never wanted to, in some cases dads can be slightly military operation. Single dads know the art of patience and they know how to make things work.

2. They take birth control seriously.

Having a kid is never a mistake but when it comes to existing dependents, single dads know how babies are made- no biology classes required. You never need to worry about the side effects of birth control because they know what’s the right time for them to become a dad again.

3. They are not afraid of their sensitive side.

If your date has a male child, you can imagine times he’s spent during the afternoon playing football and tying his shoes when he’s off to school. Or, if he has a little girl, he must have spent hours doing her nails. Raising kids is a tough thing and there are emotions involved with it. It takes a lot of strength to be soft and keep the kids happy as well. Plus, if you are hand-holding type, you’ll make a perfect match.

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4. They are dynamite in bed.

There’s no doubt that someone with confidence and openness has universally sexy qualities in him. They not only respect your body but understand how to make things work under the sheets. Even if you’re less self-conscious, he’ll never let you down when it comes to having a great time in bed. Believe me or not, but your sexiest fantasies can come true if you date single dads.

5. They are aware of what they want.

One important skill that develops with having children is an ability to adjust to changes and cope up with unexpected plans with a lot of positivity and grace. Things might happen and will happen again in life and even without having a solid game plan for their lives, single dads know what they want and what needs to be done. This should probably the best dateable quality you’re looking for in a man.

6. They give an opportunity to play part in someone else’s life.

A single dad is always looking to protect his children. If he introduces you to his child at some point, it’s because he’s giving you an opportunity to touch someone else’s life. You’re getting to know someone who he values the most in life and there’s no better honor than that. However, you should similarly honor their trust and comprehend the do’s and don’ts of single parent dating.

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7. They are good listeners.

Believe me or not, but a single dad never moves out from having a conversation just because you’re all over him. Maybe it’s just a small thing when you’re asking him to go out for a movie or fighting because he did not call you on time. Single dads listen, understand all of the bits and pieces of you, talk, and solve the problem.

8. They are handy.

Be it fixing a toy, building a LEGO house, finding a t-shirt that matches your complexion, or choosing the right tool for a task, single dads know how to make things work. They’ve already gone through a lot of toil trying to make things work in their previous relationship and keeping their children happy. They know what works right and they’re never shy of working on taking on a new challenge.

9. They know what makes a relationship work.

There are tons of reasons that can end up someone’s life as a single parent. But, what’s important is the experience they’ve went through trying to make their relationship work. Having children teaches a lot about making connections and establishing a healthy relationship.

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They’ll talk you to watch a romantic comedy or walk around the park whenever you want them to. You need to feel lucky when you know you’re dating a single dad, because he just does not know how to break up.

10. They take things slow.

I know you’ve probably dated someone who wanted to get into bed right after you had a cup of coffee. Single dads just don’t have time to be that guy. Some who has kids and is single is always looking for the right time to do the right thing. He knows that he needs to maintain a boundary in between the dating life and kid life and that boundary is what has taught him to take things slow which can be a rock solid foundation for your perfect love.

Featured photo credit: Father via rawstory.com

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Nabin Paudyal

Co-Founder, Siplikan Media Group

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Last Updated on July 20, 2021

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)
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You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

Warming up

If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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  1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
  2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
  3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

Stay hydrated

Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

Meditate

Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

2. Focus on your goal

One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

3. Convert negativity to positivity

There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

4. Understand your content

Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

5. Practice makes perfect

Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

6. Be authentic

There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

7. Post speech evaluation

Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

Improve your next speech

As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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  • How did I do?
  • Are there any areas for improvement?
  • Did I sound or look stressed?
  • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
  • Was I saying “um” too often?
  • How was the flow of the speech?

Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

Reference

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