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10 Reasons Why Single Dads Are Good Lovers

10 Reasons Why Single Dads Are Good Lovers

If you’re looking for love and not including single dads in your list, maybe it’s time you give a second thought to it. Being a single parent is not easy but there’s some kind of sexiness when it comes to dating single dads. Plus, it’s never too easy to find someone who’s ready to start a relationship and still raising his child.

You might also not be so reluctant to find love in a man who shares children and custody with an ex, but the devotion they have to their children shows their commitment and compassion towards a true relationship. Dating a single dad comes with obstacles, but there are plenty of reasons why you should be avoiding the bedroom because you find out your date has a past and a child.

Check out these reasons why single dads are good lovers to make sure why you might be going to do the best thing in your life.

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1. They are patient.

One thing that’s most necessary to make a relationship work is patience and single dads have mastered the skill. Anyone who needs to prepare meals for their kids, manage their dresses, pack for all eventualities and do daily chores they never wanted to, in some cases dads can be slightly military operation. Single dads know the art of patience and they know how to make things work.

2. They take birth control seriously.

Having a kid is never a mistake but when it comes to existing dependents, single dads know how babies are made- no biology classes required. You never need to worry about the side effects of birth control because they know what’s the right time for them to become a dad again.

3. They are not afraid of their sensitive side.

If your date has a male child, you can imagine times he’s spent during the afternoon playing football and tying his shoes when he’s off to school. Or, if he has a little girl, he must have spent hours doing her nails. Raising kids is a tough thing and there are emotions involved with it. It takes a lot of strength to be soft and keep the kids happy as well. Plus, if you are hand-holding type, you’ll make a perfect match.

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4. They are dynamite in bed.

There’s no doubt that someone with confidence and openness has universally sexy qualities in him. They not only respect your body but understand how to make things work under the sheets. Even if you’re less self-conscious, he’ll never let you down when it comes to having a great time in bed. Believe me or not, but your sexiest fantasies can come true if you date single dads.

5. They are aware of what they want.

One important skill that develops with having children is an ability to adjust to changes and cope up with unexpected plans with a lot of positivity and grace. Things might happen and will happen again in life and even without having a solid game plan for their lives, single dads know what they want and what needs to be done. This should probably the best dateable quality you’re looking for in a man.

6. They give an opportunity to play part in someone else’s life.

A single dad is always looking to protect his children. If he introduces you to his child at some point, it’s because he’s giving you an opportunity to touch someone else’s life. You’re getting to know someone who he values the most in life and there’s no better honor than that. However, you should similarly honor their trust and comprehend the do’s and don’ts of single parent dating.

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7. They are good listeners.

Believe me or not, but a single dad never moves out from having a conversation just because you’re all over him. Maybe it’s just a small thing when you’re asking him to go out for a movie or fighting because he did not call you on time. Single dads listen, understand all of the bits and pieces of you, talk, and solve the problem.

8. They are handy.

Be it fixing a toy, building a LEGO house, finding a t-shirt that matches your complexion, or choosing the right tool for a task, single dads know how to make things work. They’ve already gone through a lot of toil trying to make things work in their previous relationship and keeping their children happy. They know what works right and they’re never shy of working on taking on a new challenge.

9. They know what makes a relationship work.

There are tons of reasons that can end up someone’s life as a single parent. But, what’s important is the experience they’ve went through trying to make their relationship work. Having children teaches a lot about making connections and establishing a healthy relationship.

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They’ll talk you to watch a romantic comedy or walk around the park whenever you want them to. You need to feel lucky when you know you’re dating a single dad, because he just does not know how to break up.

10. They take things slow.

I know you’ve probably dated someone who wanted to get into bed right after you had a cup of coffee. Single dads just don’t have time to be that guy. Some who has kids and is single is always looking for the right time to do the right thing. He knows that he needs to maintain a boundary in between the dating life and kid life and that boundary is what has taught him to take things slow which can be a rock solid foundation for your perfect love.

Featured photo credit: Father via rawstory.com

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Nabin Paudyal

Co-Founder, Siplikan Media Group

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Last Updated on March 30, 2020

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

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1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

2. Be Honest

A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

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If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

4. Succeed at Something

When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

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6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

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In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

Final Thoughts

When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
[2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
[3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
[4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
[5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
[6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
[7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
[8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

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