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10 Reasons Why Single Dads Are Good Lovers

10 Reasons Why Single Dads Are Good Lovers

If you’re looking for love and not including single dads in your list, maybe it’s time you give a second thought to it. Being a single parent is not easy but there’s some kind of sexiness when it comes to dating single dads. Plus, it’s never too easy to find someone who’s ready to start a relationship and still raising his child.

You might also not be so reluctant to find love in a man who shares children and custody with an ex, but the devotion they have to their children shows their commitment and compassion towards a true relationship. Dating a single dad comes with obstacles, but there are plenty of reasons why you should be avoiding the bedroom because you find out your date has a past and a child.

Check out these reasons why single dads are good lovers to make sure why you might be going to do the best thing in your life.

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1. They are patient.

One thing that’s most necessary to make a relationship work is patience and single dads have mastered the skill. Anyone who needs to prepare meals for their kids, manage their dresses, pack for all eventualities and do daily chores they never wanted to, in some cases dads can be slightly military operation. Single dads know the art of patience and they know how to make things work.

2. They take birth control seriously.

Having a kid is never a mistake but when it comes to existing dependents, single dads know how babies are made- no biology classes required. You never need to worry about the side effects of birth control because they know what’s the right time for them to become a dad again.

3. They are not afraid of their sensitive side.

If your date has a male child, you can imagine times he’s spent during the afternoon playing football and tying his shoes when he’s off to school. Or, if he has a little girl, he must have spent hours doing her nails. Raising kids is a tough thing and there are emotions involved with it. It takes a lot of strength to be soft and keep the kids happy as well. Plus, if you are hand-holding type, you’ll make a perfect match.

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4. They are dynamite in bed.

There’s no doubt that someone with confidence and openness has universally sexy qualities in him. They not only respect your body but understand how to make things work under the sheets. Even if you’re less self-conscious, he’ll never let you down when it comes to having a great time in bed. Believe me or not, but your sexiest fantasies can come true if you date single dads.

5. They are aware of what they want.

One important skill that develops with having children is an ability to adjust to changes and cope up with unexpected plans with a lot of positivity and grace. Things might happen and will happen again in life and even without having a solid game plan for their lives, single dads know what they want and what needs to be done. This should probably the best dateable quality you’re looking for in a man.

6. They give an opportunity to play part in someone else’s life.

A single dad is always looking to protect his children. If he introduces you to his child at some point, it’s because he’s giving you an opportunity to touch someone else’s life. You’re getting to know someone who he values the most in life and there’s no better honor than that. However, you should similarly honor their trust and comprehend the do’s and don’ts of single parent dating.

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7. They are good listeners.

Believe me or not, but a single dad never moves out from having a conversation just because you’re all over him. Maybe it’s just a small thing when you’re asking him to go out for a movie or fighting because he did not call you on time. Single dads listen, understand all of the bits and pieces of you, talk, and solve the problem.

8. They are handy.

Be it fixing a toy, building a LEGO house, finding a t-shirt that matches your complexion, or choosing the right tool for a task, single dads know how to make things work. They’ve already gone through a lot of toil trying to make things work in their previous relationship and keeping their children happy. They know what works right and they’re never shy of working on taking on a new challenge.

9. They know what makes a relationship work.

There are tons of reasons that can end up someone’s life as a single parent. But, what’s important is the experience they’ve went through trying to make their relationship work. Having children teaches a lot about making connections and establishing a healthy relationship.

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They’ll talk you to watch a romantic comedy or walk around the park whenever you want them to. You need to feel lucky when you know you’re dating a single dad, because he just does not know how to break up.

10. They take things slow.

I know you’ve probably dated someone who wanted to get into bed right after you had a cup of coffee. Single dads just don’t have time to be that guy. Some who has kids and is single is always looking for the right time to do the right thing. He knows that he needs to maintain a boundary in between the dating life and kid life and that boundary is what has taught him to take things slow which can be a rock solid foundation for your perfect love.

Featured photo credit: Father via rawstory.com

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Nabin Paudyal

Co-Founder, Siplikan Media Group

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Last Updated on July 8, 2020

How to Say No When You Say Yes Too Often

How to Say No When You Say Yes Too Often

Do you say yes so often that you realize you aren’t really happy about this, wondering how to say no to people?

For years, I was a serial people pleaser. Known as someone who would step up, I would gladly make time especially when it came to volunteering for certain causes. I proudly carried this role all through grade school, college, even through law school. For years, I thought saying “no” meant I would disappoint a good friend or someone I respected.

But somewhere along the way, I noticed I wasn’t quite living my life. Instead, I seem to have created a schedule that was a strange combination of meeting the expectations of others, what I thought I should be doing, and some of what I actually wanted to do. The result? I had a packed schedule that left me overwhelmed and unfulfilled.

It took a long while but I learned the art of saying no. Saying ‘no’ meant I no longer catered fully to everyone else’s needs and could make more room for what I really wanted to do. Instead of cramming too much in, I chose to pursue what really mattered. I started to manage my time more around my own needs and interests. When that happened, I became a lot happier. And guess what? I hardly disappointed anyone.

The Importance of Saying No

When you learn the art of saying ‘no,’ you begin to look at the world differently. Rather than seeing all of the things you could or should be doing (and aren’t doing), you start to look at how to say yes to what’s important.

In other words, you aren’t just reacting to what life throws at you. You seek the opportunities that move you to where you want to be.

Successful people aren’t afraid to say no. Oprah Winfrey considered one of the most successful women in the world confessed that it was much later in life when she learned how to say no. Even after she had become internationally famous, she felt she had to say yes to virtually everything. It was only when she realized that after years of struggling with saying no, I finally got to this question: “What do I want?”

Being able to say no also helps you manage your time better.

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Warren Buffett views no as essential to his success. He said,

“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

When I made ‘no’ a part of my toolbox, I drove more of my own success focusing on fewer things and doing them well.

How We Are Pressured to Say Yes

It’s no wonder a lot of us find it hard to say ‘no.’

From an early age, we are conditioned to say ‘yes.’ We said yes probably hundreds of time in order to graduate from high school and then get into college. We said yes to find work. We said yes get a promotion. We said yes to find love and then yes again to stay in a relationship. We said yes to find and keep friends.

We say yes because it feels better to help someone. We say yes because it can seem like the right thing to do. We say yes because we think that is key to success. And we say yes because the request might come from someone who is hard to resist like the boss.

And that’s not all. The pressure to say yes doesn’t just come from others. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves. At work, we say yes because we compare ourselves to others who seem to be doing more than we are. Outside of work, we say yes because we feel guilty we aren’t doing enough to spend time with family or friends.

The message no matter where we turn is nearly always, “You really could be doing more.” The result? When people ask us for our time, we are heavily conditioned to say yes.

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How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty

Deciding to add the word ‘no’ to your toolbox is no small thing. Perhaps you already say ‘no’ but not as much as you would like. Maybe you have an instinct that if you were to learn the art of ‘no’ that you could finally create more time for things you care about. But let’s be honest, using the word ‘no’ doesn’t come easily for many people.

The 3 Rules of Thumbs for Saying No

1. You Need to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Let’s face it. It is hard to say no. Setting boundaries around your time especially you haven’t done it much in the past will feel awkward.

2. You Are the Air Traffic Controller of Your Time

Remember that you are the only one who understands the demands for your time. Think about it, who else knows about all of the demands on your time? No one. Only you are at the center of all of these requests. are the only one that understands what time you really have.

3. Saying ‘No’ Means Saying ‘Yes’ to Something That Matters

When we decide not to do something, it means we can say yes to something else. You have a unique opportunity to decide how you spend your precious time.

6 Ways to Start Saying No

Incorporating that little word ‘no’ into your life can be transformational. Turning some things down will mean you can open doors to what really matters. Here are some essential tips to learn the art of no:

1. Check in With Your Obligation Meter

One of the biggest challenges to saying ‘no’ is a feeling of obligation. Do you feel you have a responsibility to say yes and worry that saying no reflect poorly on you?

Ask yourself whether you truly have the duty to say yes. Check your assumptions or beliefs about whether you carry the responsibility to say yes. Turn it around and instead ask what duty you owe to yourself.

2. Resist the Fear of Missing out (FOMO)

Do you have a fear of missing out (FOMO)? FOMO can follow us around in so many ways. At work, we volunteer our time because we fear we won’t move ahead. In our personal lives, we agree to join the crowd because FOMO even while we ourselves aren’t enjoying the fun.

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Check in with yourself. Are you saying yes because of FOMO or because you really want to say yes? More often than not, running after fear doesn’t make us feel better.

3. Check Your Assumptions About What It Means to Say ‘No’

Do you dread the reaction you will get if you say no? Often, we say ‘yes’ because we worry about how others will respond or the consequences of saying no or because of the consequences. We may be afraid to disappoint others or think we will lose respect from others. We often forget how much we are disappointing ourselves along the way.

Keep in mind that saying ‘no’ can be exactly what is needed to send the right message that you have limited time. In the tips below, you will see how to communicate your no in a gentle and loving way. You might disappoint someone initially but drawing a boundary can bring you the freedom you need so that you can give freely of yourself when you truly want to.

4. When the Request Comes In, Sit on It

Sometimes, when we are in the moment, we instinctively agree. The request might make sense at first. Or we typically have said yes to this request in the past.

Give yourself a little time to reflect on whether you really have the time, or can do the task properly. You may decide the best option is to say ‘no.’ There is no harm in giving yourself the time to decide.

5. Communicate Your ‘No’ with Transparency and Kindness

When you are ready to tell someone no, communicate your decision clearly. The message can be open and honest to ensure the recipient that your reasons have to do with your limited time.

Resist the temptation not to respond or communicate all. But do not feel obligated to provide a lengthy account about why you are saying no.

A clear communication with a short explanation is all that is needed. I have found it useful to tell people that I have many demands and need to be careful with how I allocate my time. I will sometimes say I really appreciate that they came to me and for them to check in again if the opportunity arises another time.

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6. Consider How to Use a Modified ‘No’

If you are under pressure to say yes but want to say no, you may want to consider downgrading a “yes” to a “yes but…” giving you an opportunity to condition your agreement to what works best for you.

Sometimes, the condition can be to do the task but not in the time frame that was originally requested. Or perhaps you can do part of what has been asked.

Final Thoughts

Beginning right now, you can change how you respond to requests for your time. When the request comes in, take yourself off autopilot where you might normally say yes.

Use the request as a fresh request to draw a healthy boundary around your time. Pay particular attention to when you place certain demands on yourself. If you are the one placing the demand on yourself, try to evaluate the demand as if it were coming from somewhere else.

Try it now. Say no to a friend who continues to take advantage of your goodwill. Or, draw the line with a workaholic colleague and tell them you will complete the project but not by working all weekend. Or, tell someone in your family you can’t loan them money again because they never paid you back the last time. You’ll find yourself much happier.

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Featured photo credit: Chris Ainsworth via unsplash.com

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