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6 Things Only Women With Breast Cancer Can Relate To

6 Things Only Women With Breast Cancer Can Relate To

Most people know someone who has struggled with breast cancer — and there is a good reason for that. According to  statistics from the Breast Cancer Society, 1 in 8 American women will develop this serious condition and it is estimated that in 2015 alone, 231,840 women will be newly diagnosed.  Survival rates depend on many factors — but no matter what the outcome, a woman fighting this disease faces some unique challenges, such as those below.

They Can Have Difficulty Eating

Breast cancer patients, like all cancer patients, benefit from a balanced diet that helps them to strengthen their bodies and immune systems and to heal up from surgery. Women know that this is the case and will try to eat healthy as much as possible. However, side effects of cancer treatments — such as nausea, mouth sores, fatigue and constipation or diarrhea — can make good nutrition an ongoing challenge. That is one of the reasons why women can lose so much weight during their cancer battle. Small, frequent meals, high-quality snacks and even supplemental nutritional shakes like Boost or Ensure can help with this problem.

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They Can Have Chronic Fatigue

Many women report that, from one day to the next, the symptom of cancer which is most difficult to deal with is fatigue.  Often, someone battling breast cancer can wake up feeling exhausted even after a good night’s sleep. This can make everyday activities like bathing, dressing or preparing a meal a lot more difficult.  What’s also hard about this is that the fatigue can last a long time, even when the cancer is in remission. Because of this, many women will take naps throughout the day and alternate periods of rest with periods of activity. Also, pacing activities throughout the day can help.

They Can Have Low Libido and Fear of Intimacy

Many cancer patients suffer from low libido or sex drive during the course of their treatment, mostly because of issues like pain, fatigue and nausea.  However, if part of a woman’s treatment is the removal of one or both breasts, this issue can be heightened even further.  Breasts are a large part of many women’s sexuality and dealing with their loss can be difficult.  Many women will opt for lingerie or other slinky wear for intimate moments and it can take a long time for a woman to feel comfortable with her partner seeing her naked again.  Good communication and a lot of patience and loving support can make coping with this issue easier.

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They Can Have Problems at Work

Many women – especially those in the thirties, forties or fifties — will choose to continue working even as they receive cancer treatment.  However, there are a lot of factors which make worse more — or less – difficult to handle, including whether or not the job is very physical, if it is possible to telecommute or work from home and even the willingness of one’s supervisor to be flexible about job duties and working hours. Also, women can sometimes face discrimination at work during or after their cancer battle, such as being passed up for promotion due to their illness.  Many women have brought law suits up due to this particular problem.

They Appreciate Emotional Support

Sometimes coworkers, family or friends can have a hard time knowing what to say to someone who is going through cancer treatments.  But shows of support do help and can mean a lot to someone who is fighting this disease.  “Get well” cards, offers to help with housekeeping or dog-walking, or even just coming over for a cup of coffee and a chat can all help a breast cancer patient feel less lonely and also help them realize that they are loved and appreciated. This emotional support can make the fight against breast cancer a little easier.

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They Still Like to be Fashionable!

Between fatigue, hair loss from chemo and too much weight loss, breast cancer can take a toll on the way a woman looks — and more importantly how she feels about herself.  This can lead to problems like social isolation and even depression if women choose to withdraw from others due to their altered appearance. However, wigs or fashionable hats or scarves to cover hair loss and the use of prosthetic bras under clothing can help a woman feel attractive again and promote an overall good quality of life during and after cancer treatment.

In short, breast cancer is a complicated disease — and for the women who are battling it, life can seem complicated, too, and there are many challenges that they face that others have not thought about.  However, just a show of emotional support — even with something as simple as a hug — can make these challenges easier to overcome.

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Brian Wu

Health Writer, Author

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Last Updated on November 28, 2018

Why Do I Have Bad Luck? 2 Simple Things to Change Your Destiny

Why Do I Have Bad Luck? 2 Simple Things to Change Your Destiny

Are you one of those people who are always suffering setbacks? Does little ever seem to go right for you? Do you sometimes feel that the universe is out to get you? Do you wonder:

Why do I have bad luck? Is bad luck real?

A couple of months ago, I met up with an old friend of mine who I hadn’t seen since last year. Over lunch, we talked about all kinds of things, including our careers, relationships and hobbies.

My friend told me his job had become dull and uninteresting to him, and despite applying for promotion – he’d been turned down. His personal life wasn’t great either, as he told me that he’d recently separated from his long-term girlfriend.

When I asked him why things had seemingly gone wrong at home and work, he paused for a moment, and then replied:

“I’m having a run of bad luck.”

I was surprised by his response as I’d never thought of him as someone who thought that luck controlled his life. He always appeared to be someone who knew what he wanted – and went after it with gusto.

He told me he did believe in bad luck because of everything happened to me.

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It was at this point, that I shared my opinion on luck and destiny:

While chance events certainly occur, they are purely random in nature. In other words, good luck and bad luck don’t exist in the way that people believe. And more importantly, even if random negative events do come along, our perspective and reaction can turn them into positive things.

Your luck is no worse—and no better—than anyone else’s. It just feels that way. Better still, there are two simple things you can do which will reverse your feelings of being unlucky and change your luck.

1. Stop believing that what happens in life is out of your control.

Stop believing that what happens in your life is down to the vagaries of luck, destiny, supernatural forces, malevolent other people, or anything else outside yourself.

Psychologists call this “external locus of control.” It’s a kind of fatalism, where people believe that they can do little or nothing personally to change their lives.

Because of this, they either merely hope for the best, focus on trying to change their luck by various kinds of superstition, or submit passively to whatever comes—while complaining that it doesn’t match their hopes.

Most successful people take the opposite view. They have “internal locus of control.” They believe that what happens in their life is nearly all down to them; and that even when chance events occur, what is important is not the event itself, but how you respond to it.

This makes them pro-active, engaged, ready to try new things, and keen to find the means to change whatever in their lives they don’t like.

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They aren’t fatalistic and they don’t blame bad luck for what isn’t right in their world. They look for a way to make things better.

Are they luckier than the others? Of course not.

Luck is random—that’s what chance means—so they are just as likely to suffer setbacks as anyone else.

What’s different is their response. When things go wrong, they quickly look for ways to put them right. They don’t whine, pity themselves, or complain about “bad luck.” They try to learn from what happened to avoid or correct it next time and get on with living their life as best they can. They have this Motivation Engine, which most people lack, to keep them going.

No one is habitually luckier or unluckier than anyone else. It may seem so, over the short term (Random events often come in groups, just as random numbers often lie close together for several instances—which is why gamblers tend to see patterns where none exist).

When you take a longer perspective, random chance is just . . . random. Yet those who feel that they are less lucky, typically pay far more attention to short-term instances of bad luck, convincing themselves of the correctness of their belief.

Your locus of control isn’t genetic. You learned it somehow. If it isn’t working for you, change it.

2. Remember that whatever you pay attention to grows in your mind.

If you focus on what’s going wrong in your life—especially if you see it as “bad luck” you can do nothing about—it will seem blacker and more malevolent.

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In a short time, you’ll become so convinced that everything is against you that you’ll notice more and more instances where this appears to be true. As a result, you will drown yourself in negative energy and almost certainly stop trying, convinced that nothing you can do will improve your prospects.

Not long ago, a reader (I’ll call her Kelly) has shared with me about how frustrated she felt and how unlucky she was. Kelly’s an aspiring entrepreneur. She had been trying to find investors to invest in her project. It hadn’t been going well as she was always rejected by the potential investors. And at her most stressful time, her boyfriend broke up with her. And the day after her breakup, she missed an important opportunity to meet an interested investor. She was about to give up because she felt that she’d not be lucky enough to build her business successfully.

It definitely wasn’t an easy time for her. She was stressful and tired. But it wasn’t bad luck that was playing the role.

Fatalism feeds on itself until people become passive “victims” of life’s blows. The “losers” in life are those who are convinced they will fail before they start anything; sure that their “bad luck” will ruin any prospects of success.

They rarely notice that the true reasons for their failure are ignorance, laziness, lack of skill, lack of forethought, or just plain foolishness—all of which they could do something to correct, if only they would stop blaming other people or “bad luck” for their personal deficiencies.

Your attention is under your control. Send it where you want it to go. Starve the negative thoughts until they die.

I explained to Kelly that to improve her fortune and have “good luck”, first decide that what happens is nearly always down to her; then try to focus on what works and what turns out well, not the bad stuff.

Then Kelly tried to review her current situation objectively. She realized that she only needed a short break for herself — from work and her just broken-up relationship. She really needed some time to clear up her mind before moving on with her work and life. When she got her emotions settled down from her heartbreak, she started to work on improving her business’ selling points and looked for new investors that are more suitable.

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A few months later, she told me that she finally found two investors who were really interested in her project and would like to work with her to grow the business. I was really glad that she could take back control of her destiny and achieved what she wanted.

Your “fate” really does depend on the choices that you make. When random events happen, as they always will, do you choose to try to turn them to your advantage or just complain about them?

What’s Next?

Now that you’ve learned the 2 simple things you can do to take control of your fate and create your own luck. But this isn’t it! These simple techniques you’ve learned here are just part of the essential 7 Cornerstone Skills — a skillset that will give you the power to create permanent solutions to big problems in life — any problem in any area of your life!

If you think you’re “suffering from bad luck”, you can really change things up and start life over with these 7 Cornerstone Skills. It may even be a lot easier than you thought:

How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

Thomas Jefferson is said to have used these words:

“I’m a great believer in luck and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.”

Your luck, in the end, is pretty much what you choose it to be.

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Featured photo credit: LoboStudio Hamburg via unsplash.com

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