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What Couples That Stay Together Don’t Do

What Couples That Stay Together Don’t Do

Being in a relationship requires hard work. There are so many things that you have to take into consideration in order to keep the relationship healthy, but you ultimately know every effort you make is completely worth it. Sometimes, though, it’s what you don’t do as a couple that keeps the two of you growing stronger and stronger every day.

They don’t complain to friends about their significant other

I’ve seen enough Seinfeld episodes to know that talking about your mate with your friends is only going to get you in trouble. You really shouldn’t talk about anyone at all behind their backs, but your significant other should be completely off limits. The only reason you should ever bring up your love to anyone else is if you have something amazing to say about them.

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They don’t compare themselves to other couples

Strong couples have faith in their own relationship, and don’t feel the need to be ahead of the curve in any way. They live at their own pace, and make major moves when they’re ready. There really is no need to live by a timeline, or think about what stage in the relationship society says you should be after a certain amount of time together. Keeping up with the Jonses is so 1950s, anyway.

They don’t place blame or play the victim

Couples who always blame each other for shortcomings end up falling apart pretty easily, as do couples in which one person constantly makes a martyr out of him or herself. Couples should share the blame, and discuss went wrong when things go south. Working through your problems in a calm manner ensures that you’ll continue to grow together as a couple.

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They don’t criticize one another

Everyone has faults, and strong couples know this. They don’t harp on one another’s shortcomings, and instead learn to accept them. The best couples are made up of two individuals who focus on strengthening their own weaknesses in order to make themselves worthy of the other person.

They don’t attempt to read the others mind, or expect them to read theirs

In other words, strong couples communicate. Like I said earlier, they are able to discuss what’s bothering them without fear of it turning into a massive blowout argument. It should always be a nice surprise when your significant other has read your mind (like when he knows you’ve had a long day so he prepares your favorite meal), but it should never be a requirement.

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They don’t nag

Remember Married…With Children? Peggy was the absolute definition of a nag. And the Bundys hated each other. Don’t be that person that’s constantly telling the other one to clean up their mess, do the dishes, cook dinner. If it gets to a breaking point, of course you should bring it up and have a serious conversation about what’s bugging you (see above), but if every tiny little thing is starting to get to you, maybe you’re not as happy as you thought you were in the first place.

They don’t take things too seriously

This goes along with the last point. If your significant other left his shoes in the middle of the floor, or she forgot to put your clothes in the dryer like you asked, is it really worth making a big deal about it? Strong couples know when to let things go, because they realize the relationship is made up of two human beings who are prone to mistakes every once in a while. Give one another a break every once in a while, and you’ll surely be a much happier couple.

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Featured photo credit: kozzi-couple-having-argument-1674-x-1254 / Ahmet Kaya via farm6.staticflickr.com

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Last Updated on February 13, 2019

10 Things Happy People Do Differently

10 Things Happy People Do Differently

Think being happy is something that happens as a result of luck, circumstance, having money, etc.? Think again.

Happiness is a mindset. And if you’re looking to improve your ability to find happiness, then check out these 10 things happy people do differently.

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. -Dalai Lama

1. Happy people find balance in their lives.

Folks who are happy have this in common: they’re content with what they have, and don’t waste a whole lot of time worrying and stressing over things they don’t. Unhappy people do the opposite: they spend too much time thinking about what they don’t have. Happy people lead balanced lives. This means they make time for all the things that are important to them, whether it’s family, friends, career, health, religion, etc.

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2. Happy people abide by the golden rule.

You know that saying you heard when you were a kid, “Do unto others as you would have them do to you.” Well, happy people truly embody this principle. They treat others with respect. They’re sensitive to the thoughts and feelings of other people. They’re compassionate. And they get treated this way (most of the time) in return.

3. Happy people don’t sweat the small stuff.

One of the biggest things happy people do differently compared to unhappy people is they let stuff go. Bad things happen to good people sometimes. Happy people realize this, are able to take things in stride, and move on. Unhappy people tend to dwell on minor inconveniences and issues, which can perpetuate feelings of sadness, guilt, resentment, greed, and anger.

4. Happy people take responsibility for their actions.

Happy people aren’t perfect, and they’re well aware of that. When they screw up, they admit it. They recognize their faults and work to improve on them. Unhappy people tend to blame others and always find an excuse why things aren’t going their way. Happy people, on the other hand, live by the mantra:

“There are two types of people in the world: those that do and those that make excuses why they don’t.”

5. Happy people surround themselves with other happy people.

happiness surrounding

    One defining characteristic of happy people is they tend to hang out with other happy people. Misery loves company, and unhappy people gravitate toward others who share their negative sentiments. If you’re struggling with a bout of sadness, depression, worry, or anger, spend more time with your happiest friends or family members. Chances are, you’ll find that their positive attitude rubs off on you.

    6. Happy people are honest with themselves and others.

    People who are happy often exhibit the virtues of honesty and trustworthiness. They would rather give you candid feedback, even when the truth hurts, and they expect the same in return. Happy people respect people who give them an honest opinion.

    7. Happy people show signs of happiness.

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    smile

      This one may sound obvious but it’s a key differentiator between happy and unhappy people. Think about your happiest friends. Chances are, the mental image you form is of them smiling, laughing, and appearing genuinely happy. On the flip side, those who aren’t happy tend to look the part. Their posture may be slouched and you may perceive a lack of confidence.

      8. Happy people are passionate.

      Another thing happy people have in common is their ability to find their passions in life and pursue those passions to the fullest. Happy people have found what they’re looking for, and they spend their time doing what they love.

      9. Happy people see challenges as opportunities.

      Folks who are happy accept challenges and use them as opportunities to learn and grow. They turn negatives into positives and make the best out of seemingly bad situations. They don’t dwell on things that are out of their control; rather, they seek solutions and creative ways of overcoming obstacles.

      10. Happy people live in the present.

      While unhappy people tend to dwell on the past and worry about the future, happy people live in the moment. They are grateful for “the now” and focus their efforts on living life to the fullest in the present. Their philosophy is:

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      There’s a reason it’s called “the present.” Because life is a gift.

      So if you’d like to bring a little more happiness into your life, think about the 10 principles above and how you can use them to make yourself better.

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