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8 Signs That You’ve Left A Manipulator

8 Signs That You’ve Left A Manipulator

Manipulators are skilled at what they do. Whether they’re being overly flattering or downright liars for the purpose of controlling others they do it well. Furthermore, they are often hard to spot, at least initially. By the time you realize you’re being manipulated your self esteem has dropped and perhaps you’re starting to think something is wrong with you. Sometimes you don’t realize you were involved with a manipulator until after you’ve parted ways. Once you’ve had a decent amount of space between you and your manipulator you’ll start to notice that your life is changing for the better. Here are 8 signs that you’ve left a manipulator and are living a better life.

1. You have a better sense of self

Manipulators thrive on control. They mistakenly believe that power exist outside themselves. In order to increase their so called external power they prowl on others. They want you to feel powerless so that you will willingly give them control over your very being. If you feel as though a veil has been lifted off of your life and you finally know who you are you’ve probably left a manipulator.

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2. You are less emotional

With a manipulator, everything you do is wrong. Every fight you’ve had is your fault. Being manipulated will wreak havoc on your emotions. You go from crying to being angry to feeling guilty and unworthy in short order. Then you’re regretful you didn’t stick up for yourself. You’re embarrassed that you let them get over on you yet again. When you’ve left a manipulator you’re emotions are more stable.

3. Your relationships with others are improving

Manipulators often pit people against each other. By creating this division they can continue their manipulations with little interference. There’s no one there to compare notes with. There’s no one to tell you you’re being bullied and you deserve better. If you’re noticing your once strained relationships are starting to improve now that a certain someone has left your life there’s a good chance you left a manipulator.

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4. You doubt yourself less

Manipulators will make you doubt everything you do. Whether it’s your choice of dinner or how much time you spend at the gym they can make you feel as if every decision you make is wrong. You now feel more confident in your decisions and are excited about your future.

5. You do more things you enjoy

Now that you’ve cut ties with your manipulator you actually do things you enjoy. You’re not constantly being coerced into doing things they want to do while neglecting your own desires. Some manipulators will actually say to you, “You don’t really like that” or “You don’t want to do this.” Now that they’re gone, you’re not pretending you like something you don’t just to keep the peace. You’re finally free to live the life you want and it feels great.

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6. You feel more peaceful

Being manipulated is stressful! You never know what to do, believe, or say. You’re always conflicted, on edge, and anxious. Once you’ve removed yourself from a controlling relationship you are more at ease, drama free and peaceful.

7. You are starting to trust again

You’re no longer questioning everything anyone says to you. You’re not wondering what agenda lies behind that story. You’re starting to trust people again. Most importantly, you’re starting to trust yourself again.

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8. You body feels healthier

Manipulation can be a form of mental abuse. You’re constantly being lied to, told half truths, and insulted. That’s why you’re emotions are unstable, you’ve lost your sense of self and your self confidence drops. Science suggests that there’s a relationship between your mental health and your physical health. When you’re constantly plagued with worry, anxiety and insecurity it can manifest itself in the body. You have more headaches than you’ve ever had before. You have aches and pains in places you never knew existed. Your energy is at an all time low. When you’ve removed yourself from that situation the pain suddenly disappears and your energy level increases.

Leaving a manipulative relationship whether it’s an intimate, platonic or professional relationship is one of the best decisions you can make for yourself. Life gets better when you’re in control of your own destiny. You can now live life on your own terms and return to you happy, confident, secure self.

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Last Updated on September 12, 2019

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

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Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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