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8 Signs That You’ve Left A Manipulator

8 Signs That You’ve Left A Manipulator

Manipulators are skilled at what they do. Whether they’re being overly flattering or downright liars for the purpose of controlling others they do it well. Furthermore, they are often hard to spot, at least initially. By the time you realize you’re being manipulated your self esteem has dropped and perhaps you’re starting to think something is wrong with you. Sometimes you don’t realize you were involved with a manipulator until after you’ve parted ways. Once you’ve had a decent amount of space between you and your manipulator you’ll start to notice that your life is changing for the better. Here are 8 signs that you’ve left a manipulator and are living a better life.

1. You have a better sense of self

Manipulators thrive on control. They mistakenly believe that power exist outside themselves. In order to increase their so called external power they prowl on others. They want you to feel powerless so that you will willingly give them control over your very being. If you feel as though a veil has been lifted off of your life and you finally know who you are you’ve probably left a manipulator.

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2. You are less emotional

With a manipulator, everything you do is wrong. Every fight you’ve had is your fault. Being manipulated will wreak havoc on your emotions. You go from crying to being angry to feeling guilty and unworthy in short order. Then you’re regretful you didn’t stick up for yourself. You’re embarrassed that you let them get over on you yet again. When you’ve left a manipulator you’re emotions are more stable.

3. Your relationships with others are improving

Manipulators often pit people against each other. By creating this division they can continue their manipulations with little interference. There’s no one there to compare notes with. There’s no one to tell you you’re being bullied and you deserve better. If you’re noticing your once strained relationships are starting to improve now that a certain someone has left your life there’s a good chance you left a manipulator.

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4. You doubt yourself less

Manipulators will make you doubt everything you do. Whether it’s your choice of dinner or how much time you spend at the gym they can make you feel as if every decision you make is wrong. You now feel more confident in your decisions and are excited about your future.

5. You do more things you enjoy

Now that you’ve cut ties with your manipulator you actually do things you enjoy. You’re not constantly being coerced into doing things they want to do while neglecting your own desires. Some manipulators will actually say to you, “You don’t really like that” or “You don’t want to do this.” Now that they’re gone, you’re not pretending you like something you don’t just to keep the peace. You’re finally free to live the life you want and it feels great.

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6. You feel more peaceful

Being manipulated is stressful! You never know what to do, believe, or say. You’re always conflicted, on edge, and anxious. Once you’ve removed yourself from a controlling relationship you are more at ease, drama free and peaceful.

7. You are starting to trust again

You’re no longer questioning everything anyone says to you. You’re not wondering what agenda lies behind that story. You’re starting to trust people again. Most importantly, you’re starting to trust yourself again.

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8. You body feels healthier

Manipulation can be a form of mental abuse. You’re constantly being lied to, told half truths, and insulted. That’s why you’re emotions are unstable, you’ve lost your sense of self and your self confidence drops. Science suggests that there’s a relationship between your mental health and your physical health. When you’re constantly plagued with worry, anxiety and insecurity it can manifest itself in the body. You have more headaches than you’ve ever had before. You have aches and pains in places you never knew existed. Your energy is at an all time low. When you’ve removed yourself from that situation the pain suddenly disappears and your energy level increases.

Leaving a manipulative relationship whether it’s an intimate, platonic or professional relationship is one of the best decisions you can make for yourself. Life gets better when you’re in control of your own destiny. You can now live life on your own terms and return to you happy, confident, secure self.

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Last Updated on July 16, 2019

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

Negativity affects ourselves and everyone around us. It limits our potential to become something great and live a fulfilling, purposeful life. Negativity has a tangible effect on our health, too. Research has shown that people who cultivate negative energy experience more stress, more sickness, and less opportunity over the course of their lives than those who choose to live positively.

When we make a decision to become positive, and follow that decision up with action, we will begin to encounter situations and people that are also positive. The negative energy gets edged out by all positive experiences. It’s a snowball effect.

Although negative and positive thoughts will always exist, the key to becoming positive is to limit the amount of negativity that we experience by filling ourselves up with more positivity.

Here are some ways to get rid of negativity and become more positive.

1. Become Grateful for Everything

When life is all about us, it’s easy to believe that we deserve what we have. An attitude of entitlement puts us at the center of the universe and sets up the unrealistic expectation that others should cater to us, our needs, and our wants. This vain state of existence is a surefire way to set yourself up for an unfulfilled life of negativity.

People living in this sort of entitlement are “energy suckers”–they are always searching for what they can get out of a situation. People that don’t appreciate the nuances of their lives live in a constant state of lacking. And it’s really difficult to live a positive life this way.

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When we begin to be grateful and appreciate everything in our lives–from the small struggles that make us better, to the car that gets us from A to B every day–we shift our attitude from one of selfishness, to one of appreciation. This appreciation gets noticed by others, and a positive harmony begins to form in our relationships.

We begin to receive more of that which we are grateful for, because we’ve opened ourselves up to the idea of receiving, instead of taking. This will make your life more fulfilling, and more positive.

2. Laugh More, Especially at Yourself

Life gets busy, our schedules fill up, we get into relationships, and work can feel task oriented and routine-driven at times. Being human can feel more like being a robot. But having this work-driven, serious attitude often results in negative and performance oriented thinking.

Becoming positive means taking life less seriously and letting yourself off the hook. This is the only life that you get to live, why not lighten up your mood?

Laughter helps us become positive by lightening our mood and reminding us not to take life so seriously. Are you sensitive to light sarcasm? Do you have trouble laughing at jokes? Usually, people who are stressed out and overly serious get most offended by sarcasm because their life is all work and no play.

If we can learn to laugh at ourselves and our mistakes, life will become more of an experiment in finding out what makes us happy. And finding happiness means finding positivity.

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3. Help Others

Negativity goes hand in hand with selfishness. People that live only for themselves have no higher purpose in their lives. If the whole point of this world is only to take care of yourself and no one else, the road to a long-term fulfillment and purpose is going to be a long one.

Positivity accompanies purpose. The most basic way to create purpose and positivity in your life is to begin doing things for others. Start small; open the door for the person in front of you at Starbucks or ask someone how their day was before telling them about yours.

Helping others will give you an intangible sense of value that will translate into positivity. And people might just appreciate you in the process.

4. Change Your Thinking

We can either be our best coach or our best enemy. Change starts from within. If you want to become more positive, change the wording of your thoughts. We are the hardest on ourselves, and a stream of negative self talk is corrosive to a positive life.

The next time you have a negative thought, write it down and rephrase it with a positive spin. For example, change a thought like, “I can’t believe I did so horribly on the test–I suck.” to “I didn’t do as well as I hoped to on this test. But I know I’m capable and I’ll do better next time.”

Changing our self-talk is powerful.

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5. Surround Yourself with Positive People

We become most like the people that we surround ourselves with. If our friend group is full of negative energy-suckers and drama queens, we will emulate that behavior and become like them. It is very difficult to become more positive when the people around us don’t support or demonstrate positive behavior.

As you become more positive, you’ll find that your existing friends will either appreciate the new you or they will become resistant to your positive changes. This is a natural response.

Change is scary; but cutting out the negative people in your life is a huge step to becoming more positive. Positive people reflect and bounce their perspectives onto one another. Positivity is a step-by-step process when you do it solo, but a positive group of friends can be an escalator.

6. Get into Action

Negative thoughts can be overwhelming and challenging to navigate. Negativity is usually accompanied by a “freak-out” response, especially when tied to relationships, people and to worrying about the future. This is debilitating to becoming positive and usually snowballs into more worry, more stress and more freak-outs.

Turn the negative stress into positive action. The next time you’re in one of these situations, walk away and take a break. With your eyes closed, take a few deep breaths. Once you’re calm, approach the situation or problem with a pen and pad of paper. Write out four or five actions or solutions to begin solving the problem.

Taking yourself out of the emotionally charged negative by moving into the action-oriented positive will help you solve more problems rationally and live in positivity

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7. Take Full Responsibility, Stop Being the Victim

You are responsible for your thoughts.

People that consistently believe that things happen to them handicap themselves to a victim mentality. This is a subtle and deceptive negative thought pattern. Phrases like “I have to work” or “I can’t believe he did that to me” are indicators of a victim mentality. Blaming circumstances and blaming others only handicaps our decision to change something negative into something positive.

Taking full responsibility for your life, your thoughts and your actions is one of the biggest steps in creating a more positive life. We have unlimited potential within to create our own reality, change our life, and change our thoughts. When we begin to really internalize this, we discover that no one can make us feel or do anything. We choose our emotional and behavioral response to people and circumstances.

Make positive choices in favor of yourself.

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny” ― Lao Tzu

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Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

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