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Last Updated on January 3, 2018

8 Signs That You’ve Left A Manipulator

8 Signs That You’ve Left A Manipulator

Manipulators are skilled at what they do. Whether they’re being overly flattering or downright liars for the purpose of controlling others they do it well. Furthermore, they are often hard to spot, at least initially. By the time you realize you’re being manipulated your self esteem has dropped and perhaps you’re starting to think something is wrong with you. Sometimes you don’t realize you were involved with a manipulator until after you’ve parted ways. Once you’ve had a decent amount of space between you and your manipulator you’ll start to notice that your life is changing for the better. Here are 8 signs that you’ve left a manipulator and are living a better life.

1. You have a better sense of self

Manipulators thrive on control. They mistakenly believe that power exist outside themselves. In order to increase their so called external power they prowl on others. They want you to feel powerless so that you will willingly give them control over your very being. If you feel as though a veil has been lifted off of your life and you finally know who you are you’ve probably left a manipulator.

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2. You are less emotional

With a manipulator, everything you do is wrong. Every fight you’ve had is your fault. Being manipulated will wreak havoc on your emotions. You go from crying to being angry to feeling guilty and unworthy in short order. Then you’re regretful you didn’t stick up for yourself. You’re embarrassed that you let them get over on you yet again. When you’ve left a manipulator you’re emotions are more stable.

3. Your relationships with others are improving

Manipulators often pit people against each other. By creating this division they can continue their manipulations with little interference. There’s no one there to compare notes with. There’s no one to tell you you’re being bullied and you deserve better. If you’re noticing your once strained relationships are starting to improve now that a certain someone has left your life there’s a good chance you left a manipulator.

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4. You doubt yourself less

Manipulators will make you doubt everything you do. Whether it’s your choice of dinner or how much time you spend at the gym they can make you feel as if every decision you make is wrong. You now feel more confident in your decisions and are excited about your future.

5. You do more things you enjoy

Now that you’ve cut ties with your manipulator you actually do things you enjoy. You’re not constantly being coerced into doing things they want to do while neglecting your own desires. Some manipulators will actually say to you, “You don’t really like that” or “You don’t want to do this.” Now that they’re gone, you’re not pretending you like something you don’t just to keep the peace. You’re finally free to live the life you want and it feels great.

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6. You feel more peaceful

Being manipulated is stressful! You never know what to do, believe, or say. You’re always conflicted, on edge, and anxious. Once you’ve removed yourself from a controlling relationship you are more at ease, drama free and peaceful.

7. You are starting to trust again

You’re no longer questioning everything anyone says to you. You’re not wondering what agenda lies behind that story. You’re starting to trust people again. Most importantly, you’re starting to trust yourself again.

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8. You body feels healthier

Manipulation can be a form of mental abuse. You’re constantly being lied to, told half truths, and insulted. That’s why you’re emotions are unstable, you’ve lost your sense of self and your self confidence drops. Science suggests that there’s a relationship between your mental health and your physical health. When you’re constantly plagued with worry, anxiety and insecurity it can manifest itself in the body. You have more headaches than you’ve ever had before. You have aches and pains in places you never knew existed. Your energy is at an all time low. When you’ve removed yourself from that situation the pain suddenly disappears and your energy level increases.

Leaving a manipulative relationship whether it’s an intimate, platonic or professional relationship is one of the best decisions you can make for yourself. Life gets better when you’re in control of your own destiny. You can now live life on your own terms and return to you happy, confident, secure self.

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Last Updated on November 5, 2018

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

We’ve all got our enemies; people who take pleasure in causing us pain and misery. Sometimes, the development of an enemy is due to certain differences in your characters and events have led to that. Other times, some people end up hating you for apparently no reason at all.

Regardless of how you got this enemy, as opposed to the paradigm of fighting fire with fire, consider the following reasons and see why you should actually appreciate your enemies. This article will show you not only how to not be bothered by your enemies, but how to actually foster love for them.

Read on to learn the secret.

1. It’s a practical lesson in anger management

To be honest, your enemies are the best people to help you understand your sense of anger management. When it might be true that your enemies have a way of bringing out the worst in you as regards anger, it is also true that they can help you in your quest to have that anger managed. You can’t get truly angry at someone you love and it is only in that time when you get truly annoyed that you learn how to manage it.

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Anger management is more effective when it is in practice and not in theory

Your enemies are like the therapists who you need, but actually don’t want. Inasmuch as you might want to hate them, they provide you an opportunity to control the anger impulse that you have.

2. It’s an opportunity for healthy competition

You might not know it, but your enemies make for great rivals as they help harness the competitor in you (sometimes, you might not even know or bee conversant with this competitive side until you come across an adversary). You get the right motivation to compete and this can go a long way to spur you to victory.

However, while doing so, it is also essential that you remember not to become a worse version of yourself while competing. Working against an adversary is tricky, and you need to ensure that you don’t cause harm to yourself or your morals in the process. Healthy competition is all you need to get out of this.

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3. Their negative comments can help you make a breakthrough

It is true that your enemies never really have much good to say about you. However, in as much as they might be talking out of a place of hate, there might be some truth to what they’re saying.

To wit, whenever you hear something mean or nasty from an enemy, you might want to take a step back and evaluate yourself. There is a chance that what this enemy is saying is true and coming to face that fact is a major step in helping you to become a better person overall. This is another testament to the fact that enemies can be therapists in their own way.

4. Enemies can also be powerful allies

Loving your enemies can also mean making an effort to interact and make peace with them. In the end, if you are able to establish some common ground and patch things up, you’ll have succeeded in making another friend. And who doesn’t need friends?

This can also help you in working with people in the long run. You get to hone your inter-personal skills, and that can be a big plus to your ledger.

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5. It gives you the ability to realize positivity

In a multitude of negativity, a speck of positivity always seems to find its way through.

Sometimes, a knowledge of the fact that you have enemies will also help you to focus on the many positives and good things that are in your life. A lot of times, we neglect what really matters in life. This can be due to being overly concerned with the enemies we have.

However, it is also possible for this acknowledgement to spur you to take a step back and appreciate the goo things (and people who surround you).

6. There might just be a misunderstanding

Sometimes, the reason why you have an enemy might be something very innocuous. You might not have known the cause of this fractured relationship and your enemy will help complete the picture.

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Simply approaching them will help you to understand the reason for the fracture. This, in turn, can help you to work towards healing your relationship moving forward. Misunderstandings happen, and you need to be able to work around them.

7. You learn to appreciate love as well

A constant reminder of the fact that there are enemies will also help you not to take those who love you for granted. Love and hate are two opposing emotions and it is possible for one to momentarily overshadow the other.

However, while you’ll always have enemies, there will also always be people who love you. These people need to be appreciated for what they do for you. Never let the hate projected to you from your enemies take the place of that.

8. Do you really need the hate?

The truth is that enemies bring only toxic emotions and generate bad reactions from you. If you’re truly to live a prosperous life, you can’t really be carrying all this baggage around.

Hate is bad and you should try all you can to get rid of it. It is a well-known fact that nobody can get really far in life while carrying a lot of emotional baggage. Well, hate is the biggest form of emotional baggage there is.

Featured photo credit: rawpixel via unsplash.com

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