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What Becomes of the Broken Hearted?

What Becomes of the Broken Hearted?

I think it all starts with the awkward stage of welcoming someone into our lives.

They say the best way to avoid disappointment is to not expect anything from anyone. After all, you’ve come a long way now giving yourself a pat on the shoulder about how you made it through life’s hard lessons so you have no reasons to be fooled again. You don’t want to repeat the mistakes from the past because you finally understood that not everyone should be trusted with your emotions.

You’ve worked really hard to be the person you are today; independent, emotionally self-sufficient and somewhere in-between… let’s be honest, a bit full of it.

Truth is, no one’s totally heartless and eventually everyone gets their share of love. So after many – and perhaps even way too many – attempts at trying to find your way through the dating world, what was bound to happen finally happened. You’ve finally come across something a bit special. It’s not quite like anything you’ve experienced before and it even feels a bit surreal at times.

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You feel lucky that you’ve been blessed by what feels like an amazing, almost magical encounter so then you do your best to cherish what you’ve just been granted. You try to be careful about your every move, doing your very best not to ruin something that’s bringing so much good into your life. You’re delighted that you’ve let someone like this step into your world. You don’t really know what’s going on and can only be sure that you have no grip on the turn of events.

It’s like jumping off a cliff and into the unknown.

There’s something a bit odd about falling for someone. At a time where dating has become as easy as swiping left and right, it’s about taking our time while still being eager to see what it will feel like. You kind of start feeling things you thought you’d probably never feel, things you thought only existed in cheesy chick lit novels or love songs that other people would sing. It’s as if you don’t even know anymore if what you feel really exists, almost wondering if anyone else has ever felt this way too.

It’s an awkward stage where things slowly start falling into place though you’re unsure of you’re next move. What seems OK for you might be too fast for your newly found other half. So then you start the questioning, the doubts and fear.

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What if you mess up?

What if they mess up and you finally figure you have to let them go? You’ll both walk away from each other, going your separate ways to simply become a memory, someone you once knew. You’ll bruise a little, wondering how someone who brought so much good into your world has now become a complete stranger.

I wonder how many people wake up with a broken heart, with that stinging pain, that hole in their stomach and the ache in their chest?
What’s it like being broken hearted? You feel it when you know the world doesn’t really care if you’re hurting like hell and they still expect you to participate in the tasks of your daily routine. It’s when you drag yourself to work and refrain from crying and still put that smile on.

You do this at least for a little time because when you’re all alone, that’s when it starts, the maddening reasoning, the ‘whys’ and ‘ifs’ and the crippling pain that make you cry yourself to sleep. You turn all your thoughts and attention to your lost one because you have no control over your brain’s filtering system. And that’s the way it should be; you’ll lose your mind before you can find peace again.

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You’ll emotionally drain yourself, swinging back and forth through all sorts of stages: bargaining, denial, anger, depression and somewhere hope.

Always.

After all, some broken love stories still do get their happy ending eventually so why couldn’t you? Perhaps, you’ll go through a relapse and it will work out. And maybe it won’t and eventually you’ll enter the final – liberating yet excruciating – stage: moving on.

In the end, we’re all mending our broken selves the best way we can because we have no choice but to carry on living. Yet, the choice of how heavy a burden our pain will be is up to us.

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Just like C.S Lewis once said:

“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.”

Featured photo credit: you have my back via flickr.com

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Last Updated on October 6, 2020

15 Things Highly Confident People Don’t Do

15 Things Highly Confident People Don’t Do

Highly confident people believe in their ability to achieve. If you don’t believe in yourself, why should anyone else put their faith in you? To walk with swagger and improve your self-confidence, watch out for these fifteen things highly confident people don’t do.

And if you want to know the difference between an arrogant person and a confident person, watch this video first:

 

1. They don’t make excuses.

Highly confident people take ownership of their thoughts and actions. They don’t blame the traffic for being tardy at work; they were late. They don’t excuse their short-comings with excuses like “I don’t have the time” or “I’m just not good enough”; they make the time and they keep on improving until they are good enough.

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2. They don’t avoid doing the scary thing.

Highly confident people don’t let fear dominate their lives. They know that the things they are afraid of doing are often the very same things that they need to do in order to evolve into the person they are meant to be.

3. They don’t live in a bubble of comfort.

Highly confident people avoid the comfort zone, because they know this is a place where dreams die. They actively pursue a feeling of discomfort, because they know stretching themselves is mandatory for their success.

4. They don’t put things off until next week.

Highly confident people know that a good plan executed today is better than a great plan executed someday. They don’t wait for the “right time” or the “right circumstances”, because they know these reactions are based on a fear of change. They take action here, now, today – because that’s where progress happens.

5. They don’t obsess over the opinions of others.

Highly confident people don’t get caught up in negative feedback. While they do care about the well-being of others and aim to make a positive impact in the world, they don’t get caught up in negative opinions that they can’t do anything about. They know that their true friends will accept them as they are, and they don’t concern themselves with the rest.

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6. They don’t judge people.

Highly confident people have no tolerance for unnecessary, self-inflicted drama. They don’t feel the need to insult friends behind their backs, participate in gossip about fellow co-workers or lash out at folks with different opinions. They are so comfortable in who they are that they feel no need to look down on other people.

7. They don’t let lack of resources stop them.

Highly confident people can make use of whatever resources they have, no matter how big or small. They know that all things are possible with creativity and a refusal to quit. They don’t agonize over setbacks, but rather focus on finding a solution.

8. They don’t make comparisons.

Highly confident people know that they are not competing with any other person. They compete with no other individual except the person they were yesterday. They know that every person is living a story so unique that drawing comparisons would be an absurd and simplistic exercise in futility.

9. They don’t find joy in people-pleasing.

Highly confident people have no interest in pleasing every person they meet. They are aware that not all people get along, and that’s just how life works. They focus on the quality of their relationships, instead of the quantity of them.

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10. They don’t need constant reassurance.

Highly confident people aren’t in need of hand-holding. They know that life isn’t fair and things won’t always go their way. While they can’t control every event in their life, they focus on their power to react in a positive way that moves them forward.

11. They don’t avoid life’s inconvenient truths.

Highly confident people confront life’s issues at the root before the disease can spread any farther. They know that problems left unaddressed have a way of multiplying as the days, weeks and months go by. They would rather have an uncomfortable conversation with their partner today than sweep an inconvenient truth under the rug, putting trust at risk.

12. They don’t quit because of minor set-backs.

Highly confident people get back up every time they fall down. They know that failure is an unavoidable part of the growth process. They are like a detective, searching for clues that reveal why this approach didn’t work. After modifying their plan, they try again (but better this time).

13. They don’t require anyone’s permission to act.

Highly confident people take action without hesitation. Every day, they remind themselves, “If not me, who?”

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14. They don’t limit themselves to a small toolbox.

Highly confident people don’t limit themselves to Plan A. They make use of any and all weapons that are at their disposal, relentlessly testing the effectiveness of every approach, until they identify the strategies that offer the most results for the least cost in time and effort.

15. They don’t blindly accept what they read on the Internet as “truth” without thinking about it.

Highly confident people don’t accept articles on the Internet as truth just because some author “said so”. They look at every how-to article from the lens of their unique perspective. They maintain a healthy skepticism, making use of any material that is relevant to their lives, and forgetting about the rest. While articles like this are a fun and interesting thought-exercise, highly confident people know that they are the only person with the power to decide what “confidence” means.

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