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12 Signs That You’re Loving One That You Shouldn’t

12 Signs That You’re Loving One That You Shouldn’t

Love is a powerful feeling and most times it is very important to take the position such feeling puts you in seriously. Rather than loving the person you shouldn’t be loving you should be in the right relationship, one that brings out the best in you and makes you feel loved. Here are signs to make you aware that you are loving the one you shouldn’t be in love with.

1. Every encounter leaves you burnt out

You should feel energized with the right person, not stressed and overwhelmed after you have spent some time with them.

2. You are more aware in the relationship

Many decisions should be made spontaneously and automatically when you’re loving the right person. But when you’re loving the wrong person it is as if you are burdened with the decision of including them in every plan you make. For example decisions about your future should not be the one you are anxious about, you should be glad to have them be a part of your future.

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3. You do not look forward to every time you want to hang out with them

You are not expectant or excited at the times you will be hanging out with them. Rather it seems to be more like an obligation to be spending time with them.

4. You have arguments a lot

Arguments are important to every relationship, since no one is perfect. But every argument shouldn’t be one where you battle it out to know which one is right or wrong or who is deserving of a win or a defeat.

5. You feel inferior in the relationship

You do not feel complimented by the other person, rather you feel bruised and totally dominated by the other person. As much as you would love the relationship to improve your self-esteem, it diminishes it the more.

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6. You do not feel any spark in the relationship

The relationship seems drudgery and boring. While the relationship should make you happy and bring out the light and enthusiasm in you, it is as if it strains you.

7. You do not see things working out in the future

You are not certain about the relationship. You have a lot of doubts, and it is more like “if you are still going to be together.” Such does not make your plans accurate and precise.

8. You do not reveal your true self to them

You are pretending and you are not real in the relationship. You would prefer to present a false persona just to be more appealing and make the other person more comfortable with you.

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9. You are very cautious in the relationship

You are not comfortable when you say or do something because you are always worried about how the other person will feel or what they will say about your actions. You tend to over-think every single thing you want to say and how you are going to present your statement to them.

10. You are always defensive and protective of everything you have with them

You are not willing to share or offer your items or resources to them. You see them as a disturbance and an obstacle to living the fullness of your life.

11. You are not willing to show them off to your friends and family

You are not proud of them around you. You do not showcase them and you really do not care about how your friends or family views them.

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12. You have a stagnant relationship with them

Your relationship is not progressive, it lacks growth and it never seems as if it is going to the next phase. It is not like any of you cares about where you are in the relationship or even notice the stagnation in the relationship. It actually seems more comforting or assuring for you to stay in the current situation forever rather than make an effort to improve it.

Featured photo credit: http://www.compfight.com via compfight.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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