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12 Signs That You’re Loving One That You Shouldn’t

12 Signs That You’re Loving One That You Shouldn’t

Love is a powerful feeling and most times it is very important to take the position such feeling puts you in seriously. Rather than loving the person you shouldn’t be loving you should be in the right relationship, one that brings out the best in you and makes you feel loved. Here are signs to make you aware that you are loving the one you shouldn’t be in love with.

1. Every encounter leaves you burnt out

You should feel energized with the right person, not stressed and overwhelmed after you have spent some time with them.

2. You are more aware in the relationship

Many decisions should be made spontaneously and automatically when you’re loving the right person. But when you’re loving the wrong person it is as if you are burdened with the decision of including them in every plan you make. For example decisions about your future should not be the one you are anxious about, you should be glad to have them be a part of your future.

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3. You do not look forward to every time you want to hang out with them

You are not expectant or excited at the times you will be hanging out with them. Rather it seems to be more like an obligation to be spending time with them.

4. You have arguments a lot

Arguments are important to every relationship, since no one is perfect. But every argument shouldn’t be one where you battle it out to know which one is right or wrong or who is deserving of a win or a defeat.

5. You feel inferior in the relationship

You do not feel complimented by the other person, rather you feel bruised and totally dominated by the other person. As much as you would love the relationship to improve your self-esteem, it diminishes it the more.

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6. You do not feel any spark in the relationship

The relationship seems drudgery and boring. While the relationship should make you happy and bring out the light and enthusiasm in you, it is as if it strains you.

7. You do not see things working out in the future

You are not certain about the relationship. You have a lot of doubts, and it is more like “if you are still going to be together.” Such does not make your plans accurate and precise.

8. You do not reveal your true self to them

You are pretending and you are not real in the relationship. You would prefer to present a false persona just to be more appealing and make the other person more comfortable with you.

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9. You are very cautious in the relationship

You are not comfortable when you say or do something because you are always worried about how the other person will feel or what they will say about your actions. You tend to over-think every single thing you want to say and how you are going to present your statement to them.

10. You are always defensive and protective of everything you have with them

You are not willing to share or offer your items or resources to them. You see them as a disturbance and an obstacle to living the fullness of your life.

11. You are not willing to show them off to your friends and family

You are not proud of them around you. You do not showcase them and you really do not care about how your friends or family views them.

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12. You have a stagnant relationship with them

Your relationship is not progressive, it lacks growth and it never seems as if it is going to the next phase. It is not like any of you cares about where you are in the relationship or even notice the stagnation in the relationship. It actually seems more comforting or assuring for you to stay in the current situation forever rather than make an effort to improve it.

Featured photo credit: http://www.compfight.com via compfight.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

“When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

The Reinvention Checklist

Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

Resilience

Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

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Support

Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

Self-Care

During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

  • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
  • Spending time with your support system
  • Taking some time to walk in nature
  • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

How to Reinvent Yourself

Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

1. Discover Your Strengths

This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

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To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

2. Plan

This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

3. Try Things Out

Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

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By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

4. Manage Your Finances Well

Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

5. Muster Your Courage

Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

6. Use Your Support Group

As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

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7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

Final Thoughts

If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

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Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

Reference

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