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6 Thinking Patterns That Will Easily Lead To Depression

6 Thinking Patterns That Will Easily Lead To Depression

We may have eradicated a number of diseases that once plagued humanity, and we tend to live longer than our ancestors, but the modern world has seen a rise in mental disorders, particularly depression and anxiety. Even those living in highly developed countries with a high quality of life are not immune to depression, as those little demons that lurk from the depths of our subconscious and keep putting us down are a lot more powerful in some people.

There are a number of thinking patterns that are really counter-productive and can lead to depression, even in people who haven’t had previous problems with their mental and emotional health. It is important to identify these bad patterns as soon as possible, and work hard on making a positive change.

1. Jumping between two extreme ends of the emotional spectrum

A classic sign that you are on the path leading to depression is the inability to see the complexity of each situation, with grey areas and a number of potential drawbacks, but positive outcomes as well. You start to view the world in black and white, and things are either perfect or your life is in complete shambles. Since perfection is quite difficult, if not impossible to achieve, you end up falling into a dark mood more often, and you keep getting sucked deeper into that pit of despair.

It is important to take a step back when you see this happening, and try to rationalize the situation. It might not be the instant cure you are looking for, but trying to stay rational and reinforcing the belief that thing are not all bad is an important first step in dealing with depression. It is a proactive approach that can really help you get that initial spark of motivation you need to get out of the house and seek out some help.

There are some indications that medicinal marijuana can alleviate some of the symptoms of depression, and that it can be used as a way of kick-starting your recovery or as a method of prevention if you are exhibiting some early signs like those mentioned above. Whatever strategy you decide to use, just know that the first step is being aware of your negative behaviour and having a desire to change it.

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2. Creating defeatist scenarios and giving up before you’ve even started

Sentences like “What’s the point?”, “I’ve tried everything” or “I know it won’t work out” should never roll off your tongue. This is the epitome of defeatism, and you start to get into this kind of habit as you start to fall into the clutches of depression. Because your energy, happiness and motivation are in short supply, and you’ve been focusing on all the bad experiences from the past way more than you should, you start to give up as soon as you are faced with a challenge. While lying in bed and doing nothing may seem like an incredibly safe move, it is the worst thing you can do.

I remember a friend being torn about the fact that some of the neighbors in his building complained about his dog. He dismissed all suggestions about going to the neighbors and having a face-to-face talk to try and see what the problem was and how it can be resolved, and he did it in the worst manner possible – by explaining to us what he knew would happen, and why there was no point in doing this.

“They’ll just say this, they’ll do that, then the landlord will do this, and I’ll have all kinds of extra trouble on my hands, so it’s best if I just leave the dog with my parents in the suburbs.” – this kind of reasoning leads to poor decisions and reduced quality of life, and that’s the last thing you need when you feel depression lurking around the corner.

3. Falling victim to self-loathing

A particularly destructive way of thinking, self-loathing is the fast track to developing depression. It often hits us when we are alone with our thoughts, e.g. after coming home from work/school or before going to bed, and it essentially paints the worse possible picture of our lives.

Instead of identifying problems and trying to find solutions, we begin to hate ourselves for not being able to perform, for making mistakes, for being afraid, and even for being negative all the time.

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You find yourself hating the fact that you hate everything, and there seems to be nothing to look forward. It’s best to have someone with you at low moments like these, but if you don’t feel like talking to or facing anyone, you can get a pet you can cuddle up with. Dogs are particularly good at helping you keep depression at bay.

As long as it’s a smart and small to medium sized breed, puppies can be effectively house trained, so you won’t have to worry about them causing a mess. In fact, these loving creatures will not only make you feel less lonely, but you’ll have to take them out for walks, and this added physical activity is another good way to fight depression. Just taking your mind off those toxic thoughts will help you calm down and take a more rational approach.

4. Seeing only the bad side of things

Nothing brings about feelings of hopelessness quite like turning a blind eye to all the good things in your life and the different possibilities and focusing just on the bad things. The truth is that you can find a fairly positive solution to almost any problem, but there can be times where you forget all about the great progress you’ve been making at work or the good times you’ve had with your partner and just think about your debts, that one deadline that you almost missed and the fight you and your significant other had last week.

I have a close friend who was in a similar situation, and no matter how many examples of him doing good we’d come up with, he’d just shut them down by stubbornly sticking to a few things he saw as major problems. Look, a lot of these life problems can be solved through some intelligent budgeting, a bit of exercise and a willingness to do the research and find effective solutions.

There are always options – if you’ve worked in public service for a decade you may be able to apply for student loan forgiveness, if you give up smoking and cook your own food you can save some money, if you take the time to talk to your partner and schedule regular date nights you can work through problems, if stop watching TV shows late at night you’ll be able to get up earlier and feel fresh and focused at work, etc.

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Look at the positives, sing a song of praise to all your accomplishments in front of the mirror every morning and look at all the options available to you, instead of laser focusing on one or two bad things in your life.

5. Becoming Captain Hindsight

There is a great episode of South Park with a powerful superhero called “Captain Hindsight”. He swoops in after a big disaster and tells everyone what could have been done to prevent it, and has three trusty sidekicks: could’ve, should’ve and would’ve. As you slide further down the slippery slope of depression you will find yourself evoking these sidekicks yourself, constantly relieving the past and re-evaluating your decision, dreaming of what your life would look like, if only a specific set of magical circumstances all fell into place.

It’s kind of like a kid who gets shoved around by a bully at the playground and spends the afternoon vividly imagining a situation where he fought back and pounded the bully into submission. Well, here the bully is your own mind and it is never too late to stand your ground and tell it to back off.

It’s one thing to learn from your mistakes, but you shouldn’t let the past eat away at your confidence. A good way to deal with the issues is to keep your mind engaged with new projects, household chores or learning new skills, so that you’ll have a way to anchor yourself in the present and a good incentive to keep moving forward.

6. Holding yourself responsible for everything wrong with the world

Things never quite work out as planned, and life is full of unpleasant little surprises. While you can directly or indirectly affect some of these things, a lot of it is out of your control, and there is always that freaky random factor some like to call luck. There was a time when I took everything a little too personal and blamed myself for every little thing that might have gone wrong at work, at home and in my relationships.

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This is an offshoot of that could’ve mentality, but unlike moping and thinking up different scenarios that seem more pleasant, I was just left a chilling feeling of regret and sorrow. Totally irrational, yet completely unshakable, it burdened my mind and left an acidic taste in my mouth. I eventually shook it off through many a long serious talk with good friends, fueled by generous amounts of whiskey and vodka.

I’m just being honest here, but I have to categorically state that alcohol is not a solution or cure for anything – I knew that I could drink it responsibly, and that it was the only thing that would allow me to truly open up. Find people who care about you and are ready to listen, and schedule a night where you can get some alone time and engage in a bit of “real talk”. You’d be surprised how much better you’ll feel afterwards.

You won’t find yourself on a crossroads where one path is shiny and paved with gold, and the other is dark covered in weeds and thorns – the road leading to depression often looks like the easier option, and the feelings of emptiness and sorrow can just creep up on you if you don’t know what to look for. This is why you should look out for these destructive thinking patterns, and prepare some serious counter-measures when you find yourself turning to this kind of defeatist mindset.

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Vladimir Zivanovic

CMO at MyCity-Web

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Last Updated on October 15, 2019

How To Be Successful In Life? 13 Tips From The Most Successful People

How To Be Successful In Life? 13 Tips From The Most Successful People

What is success to you? How to be successful in life?

To some, when they think of success, they imagine wealth; others want power; some just want to make a positive impact on the world.

All of these are perfectly valid, indeed success is a concept that means different things to different people. Though no matter what success is to you, it almost certainly isn’t something will come easily.

There are countless guides and books to being successful, however, as success is personal and unique to each individual. The advice contained in these books can often not be relevant. Therefore following the advice of a single individual can often be unhelpful.

With this in mind, considering the advice of a great many people, people whose ideas of success were different both to each other, and quite possibly, to you can be a good alternative.

What follows is a list of thirteen of the best pieces of advice from some of the most successful people who have ever lived. If you want to learn how to be successful, these 13 tips are essential:

1. Think Big

    From Michelangelo Buonarroti, Great Renaissance Artist:

    “The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.”

    There are few artists as influential as Michaelangelo. Today centuries after his death, his work still inspires and connects to people. His work is world famous, just think of his statue of David, or the Mural in the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican.

    Imagine then, if he decided not to work as an artist.

    Being a successful artist has always been extremely difficult, imagine if he decided to give up this ambition in favour of something easier?

    Oftentimes, people often decided to put their dreams aside for something more “realistic”. To give up their dream for something easier. This quote teaches us the danger of such a point of view.
    Instead be ambitious.

    2. Find What You Love to Do and Do It

      From Oprah Winfrey, Media Mogul:

      “You know you are on the road to success if you would do your job and not be paid for it.”

      This is a good quote to remember and think about when you’re at work.

      Imagine being as successful as possible in your current job. Ultimately you’ll probably find yourself working extremely hard and this it will take up much of your time.

      If it’s a job you hate, then being successful at it might only mean filling your life with something you hate to do. What’s the sense in this?

      Instead, why not focus on doing something you love? When you’ve found what you’re passionate about, you get the motivation to keep you moving. Success at this means the fulfilment of your dreams.

      Not sure what your passion is yet? You should learn about this Motivation Engine first.

      Even if you’re not successful, you still filled your time with something you love to do. Many successful musicians spent years of their lives doing unpaid performances, the only reason they kept playing was because they loved to perform.

      3. Learn How to Balance Life

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        From Phil Knight, CEO of Nike Inc.:

        “There is an immutable conflict at work in life and in business, a constant battle between peace and chaos. Neither can be mastered, but both can be influenced. How you go about that is the key to success.”

        All too often, people think that to be successful, they need to make the object of their success their life.

        If a person thinks their job will lead them to success, then they may spend countless hours per day, and well into the evening working hard.

        However this comes at the cost of rest, your health and having an enjoyable life. Ultimately they may burn out and cease to be successful at their job anyway.

        If success comes from having a strong social life and a good group of friends, their job may suffer; meaning that they may lose their job, and then be unable to afford going out with friends.

        In these ways, success, as Phil Knight says above, is helped by balance. Think of it as a balance between rest and work, or work and play.

        To achieve that balance, this Ultimate Guide to Prioritizing Your Work And Life can help you.

        4. Do Not Be Afraid of Failure

          From Henry Ford, Founder of Ford Motors:

          “Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.”

          There is a story, it’s unconfirmed whether it actually happened, yet the message within is none the less true:

          Thomas Edison inventing the lightbulb was the result of several hundred failed attempts. In an interview, he was asked “How do you feel after all of your failed attempts?”

          His response was great, “I didn’t fail, I learned hundreds of ways not to invent the lightbulb”

          He saw each “failure” as a lesson. From that lesson he learned what won’t work, and also might work instead.

          Each failed attempt, each rejection, were key steps on his path to success. It is easy to feel like you should give up after a failure. But perhaps in that failure is a lesson.

          Pay attention to your failures, study them. Perhaps then you’ll learn how to succeed.

          If you find it difficult to fight your fear of failure, here’s a guide for you: Why You Have the Fear of Failure (And How to Conquer It Step-By-Step)

          5. Have an Unwavering Resolution to Succeed

            From Colonel Sanders, Founder of KFC:

            “I made a resolve then that I was going to amount to something if I could. And no hours, nor amount of labor, nor amount of money would deter me from giving the best that there was in me. And I have done that ever since, and I win by it. I know.”

            This, in many ways relates to the above quote about learning from your failures.

            It’s the easiest thing in the world to give up from a failure. The only way to push on is if you have the true burning desire to succeed, to not be moved or dissuaded from your goals.

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            If you are not truly dedicated towards success, then each failure will hurt more, each set back will slow you down.

            Success is hard; without the unwavering desire to succeed, this difficulty may seem insurmountable. With the desire, it is merely an obstacle to go through.

            6. Be a Person of Action

              From Leonardo da Vinci, Renaissance Genius:

              “It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.”

              Though it was said hundreds of years ago, it works just as much today as it ever had. It applies to literally any successful person.

              Think about it, picture someone like William Shakespeare:

              When we think of the time he lived in, we think of the time in a way shaped by him. When we think of Renaissance era Italy, we think of Michelangelo and Leonardo Da Vinci. Or think about the present day, Bill Gates or Steve Jobs. Our current way of life would simply be incomparably different if they didn’t accomplish what they did.

              You’re probably reading this article on a device by a company that they either founded or companies influenced by them.

              All these figures were proactive, they saw ways to do things differently and did them. If they let the world shape them, then they’d simply fit into the background. Instead they shaped the world.

              Applying this to you?

              Don’t be afraid of going outside the norm. If you can think of a better way to do something, do it that way. If you fail, try again.

              7. Cultivate Positive Relationships

                From Theodore Roosevelt, 26th President of America: “

                The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people.”

                The best leaders and some of the most influential people (and Theodore Roosevelt is one of the best leaders and one of the most influential people to have lived) were not those who caused commotions, who fought with people or disregarded people; but were people who were friendly to those around them.

                People liked them. They wanted them to do well.

                This is key to good leadership.

                It’s logical. If someone likes you, they want to help you; if you give them a suggestion, they’ll gladly follow through with it.

                But if someone doesn’t like you, they may either refuse to help or actively get in your way.

                What’s more, it’s always a good idea to cultivate good relationships. You can never tell who will prove to become someone who’ll be able to help you in a big way, or even be a good and supportive friend.

                As such, help people and they may help you; and be good to people, and they my be good to you.

                8. Don’t Be Afraid of Introducing New Ideas

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                  From Mark Twain, Famed Author:

                  “A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”

                  It is an unfortunate truth that those with the boldest ideas are often disregarded.

                  Most of us are taught from an early age to think and do things similarly to everyone else. This can be great to fill an existing role. But to truly do things differently (and all successful people did things differently), you need to think differently.

                  If you have a new idea, don’t throw it away because it’s new and different; instead, celebrate it. Your strange new idea might one day be the one that leads you to success.

                  9. Believe in Your Capacity to Succeed

                    From Walter Disney, Founder of Walt Disney Company:

                    “If you can dream it, you can do it.”

                    Success has to be something you can imagine yourself achieving.

                    It is possible that you will come across those who doubt you and your ability to succeed. You must not become one of these people because the moment you cease believing and dreaming is the moment these dreams fall away.

                    Keep dreaming!

                    10. Always Maintain a Positive Mental Attitude

                      From Thomas Jefferson, 3rd President of America:

                      “Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.”

                      Like the above quote says, you need to trust in your ability to succeed. This is the only way to cultivate the right mindset.

                      Replace negative thoughts with the positive ones. You need to approach problems, not as obstacles stopping you, but merely tasks that need to be completed for you to keep going.

                      If you stay positive and think like this, setbacks won’t affect you so much, people’s doubts won’t impact you and even the biggest obstacles will seem like minor problems.

                      However with the wrong mindset of doubt, you’ll be much easier to stop.

                      11. Don’t Let Discouragement Stop You from Pressing On

                        From Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of America:

                        “Let no feeling of discouragement prey upon you, and in the end you are sure to succeed.”

                        It is an unfortunate fact of human nature — all of us in some way, doubt ourselves. This can be made far worse if others doubt us too.

                        When surrounded by doubts, giving up can actually seem like a good idea.

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                        Don’t pay attention to the doubts. If you are discouraged, ignore it.

                        If this discouragement moves into your mind and you begin to doubt yourself. It is important to ignore this too.

                        This is How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck and How to Overcome It

                        12. Be Willing to Work Hard

                          From JC Penny, Founder of JC Penney Inc.:

                          “Unless you are willing to drench yourself in your work beyond the capacity of the average man, you are just not cut out for positions at the top.”

                          You might have heard the quote that “success is 1% inspiration, 99% perspiration” or you may have heard about the 10,000 hours idea.

                          Whichever way you frame it, they say one thing:

                          True success comes from work.

                          You’ll never become successful if you don’t work towards your goal in life and keep working towards it.

                          Check out this article and you’ll understand Why Hard Work Beats Talent.

                          13. Be Brave Enough to Follow Your Intuition

                            From Steve Jobs, Co-founder of Apple Inc.:

                            “Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

                            In ancient Greece, there was a group of Oracles who lived in Delphi. Everyone who needed advice or to know their future visited them, from the poorest of society to kings. Above the doorway of the temple were the words “know thyself”.

                            If you strongly believe and desire something, chances are that you already have an idea how to get there. If not, you may naturally know what things will help you and what things will slow you down.

                            It’s like how your body can detect danger even when things seem safe.

                            Ultimately then, you need to trust your own instincts.

                            Final Thoughts

                            What you might have noticed is that many of the above lessons are similar — most are about developing the right state of mind. This clearly suggests that the key to achieving success, in whatever you wish, comes down to the way you approach it mentally.

                            Moreover, no matter what stage of life you’re at now, you can still make a difference and pursue success. You can make resetting your life possible when you do this: How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

                            More to Help You Succeed in Life

                            Featured photo credit: Ryan Wong via unsplash.com

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