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7 Phrases Conscientious People Never Say In Daily Conversation

7 Phrases Conscientious People Never Say In Daily Conversation

Whether on social media or in person, smart people think clearly before they speak, bite their tongue, and carefully select words before they deliver them. Many of us are inept at this, unfortunately, and we end up saying things that land us in hot water. Take a look at seven phrases a smart person would never say, so you can rid yourself of these bad habits if you have them.

1. “Congratulations; when are you due?”

Anyone who’s ever made the mistake of assuming someone is pregnant and discovered otherwise understands how embarrassing this can be. The shame can make you want to run the other direction and bury your head.

The problem is that there’s no backtracking from this one. Once you’ve openly assumed someone is pregnant, you have no choice but to apologize. Smart people always wait until someone has volunteered information that indicates she is indeed pregnant before discussing the subject.

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2. “You look really tired.”

You might mean well when you tell someone he or she looks tired, but more likely than not, the person will take offense. The implication is that he or she looks unappealing, worn out, or just plain unattractive.

Instead of saying someone looks tired, ask if everything is okay. After all, most of us are trying to help when we declare someone looks tired. This is a safer method of arriving at the desired conclusion.

3. “I’m willing to pay….”

When it comes to negotiating a purchase or business deal, smart people never tell the other party how much they’re willing to pay. Though it may seem like a practical way of directing the conversation, it removes any leverage you might have had.

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Perhaps the other party was willing, or even expecting, to go much lower than your highest point, but now he realizes he can realistically demand a different figure. Successful bidders and negotiators understand the power of remaining quiet until the right moment.

4. “I never liked him/her anyway.”

Again, you could have good intentions when you drop this line on a friend who’s been dumped, but this isn’t a smart phrase — for two reasons. First, it implies you don’t approve of your friend’s taste or judgment. Second, it could backfire on you if your friend gets back together with the ex. Whether your friend says anything or not, he or she will subconsciously remember that you didn’t like the significant other.

Smart people offer more careful condolences, such as “This situation will make you stronger,” or “I believe there’s someone out there who will be a better match.”

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5. “I know, right?”

Have you ever uttered these words? If you think about it, what are you actually saying here?

Basically, you’re asking the other person if he or she knows what just came out of their mouth is correct. Well, of course they do; they just said it! Instead of employing this redundant query, a smart person would say something more along the lines of: “It certainly is!” or “I agree!”

6. “You look really good for your age!”

This is another ostensibly harmless yet offensive phrase that smart people avoid in daily conversation. It comes across as rude, and indicates that you (or anyone else) would expect the person to look worse. Why add “for your age” to this statement? Just say, “You look really good!” It removes the qualification from the statement and instantly makes it a strong compliment.

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7. “Whatever you want….”

Here’s one you hear all too often and maybe don’t think twice about. By saying “It’s up to you” or “We can do whatever you want,” you’re pretty much intimating that you’re submissive, possess no opinions, or don’t care about the matter.

Instead of saying “whatever you want,” it’s better to suggest multiple options and offer the other person a choice. This shows that you’ve thought about the situation and have opinions, but are in a cooperative mood.

Featured photo credit: Marjan Lazarevski via flic.kr

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Anna Johansson

Anna specializes in entrepreneurship, technology, and social media trends.

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

“When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

The Reinvention Checklist

Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

Resilience

Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

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Support

Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

Self-Care

During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

  • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
  • Spending time with your support system
  • Taking some time to walk in nature
  • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

How to Reinvent Yourself

Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

1. Discover Your Strengths

This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

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To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

2. Plan

This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

3. Try Things Out

Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

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By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

4. Manage Your Finances Well

Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

5. Muster Your Courage

Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

6. Use Your Support Group

As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

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7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

Final Thoughts

If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

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Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

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