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7 Phrases Conscientious People Never Say In Daily Conversation

7 Phrases Conscientious People Never Say In Daily Conversation

Whether on social media or in person, smart people think clearly before they speak, bite their tongue, and carefully select words before they deliver them. Many of us are inept at this, unfortunately, and we end up saying things that land us in hot water. Take a look at seven phrases a smart person would never say, so you can rid yourself of these bad habits if you have them.

1. “Congratulations; when are you due?”

Anyone who’s ever made the mistake of assuming someone is pregnant and discovered otherwise understands how embarrassing this can be. The shame can make you want to run the other direction and bury your head.

The problem is that there’s no backtracking from this one. Once you’ve openly assumed someone is pregnant, you have no choice but to apologize. Smart people always wait until someone has volunteered information that indicates she is indeed pregnant before discussing the subject.

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2. “You look really tired.”

You might mean well when you tell someone he or she looks tired, but more likely than not, the person will take offense. The implication is that he or she looks unappealing, worn out, or just plain unattractive.

Instead of saying someone looks tired, ask if everything is okay. After all, most of us are trying to help when we declare someone looks tired. This is a safer method of arriving at the desired conclusion.

3. “I’m willing to pay….”

When it comes to negotiating a purchase or business deal, smart people never tell the other party how much they’re willing to pay. Though it may seem like a practical way of directing the conversation, it removes any leverage you might have had.

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Perhaps the other party was willing, or even expecting, to go much lower than your highest point, but now he realizes he can realistically demand a different figure. Successful bidders and negotiators understand the power of remaining quiet until the right moment.

4. “I never liked him/her anyway.”

Again, you could have good intentions when you drop this line on a friend who’s been dumped, but this isn’t a smart phrase — for two reasons. First, it implies you don’t approve of your friend’s taste or judgment. Second, it could backfire on you if your friend gets back together with the ex. Whether your friend says anything or not, he or she will subconsciously remember that you didn’t like the significant other.

Smart people offer more careful condolences, such as “This situation will make you stronger,” or “I believe there’s someone out there who will be a better match.”

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5. “I know, right?”

Have you ever uttered these words? If you think about it, what are you actually saying here?

Basically, you’re asking the other person if he or she knows what just came out of their mouth is correct. Well, of course they do; they just said it! Instead of employing this redundant query, a smart person would say something more along the lines of: “It certainly is!” or “I agree!”

6. “You look really good for your age!”

This is another ostensibly harmless yet offensive phrase that smart people avoid in daily conversation. It comes across as rude, and indicates that you (or anyone else) would expect the person to look worse. Why add “for your age” to this statement? Just say, “You look really good!” It removes the qualification from the statement and instantly makes it a strong compliment.

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7. “Whatever you want….”

Here’s one you hear all too often and maybe don’t think twice about. By saying “It’s up to you” or “We can do whatever you want,” you’re pretty much intimating that you’re submissive, possess no opinions, or don’t care about the matter.

Instead of saying “whatever you want,” it’s better to suggest multiple options and offer the other person a choice. This shows that you’ve thought about the situation and have opinions, but are in a cooperative mood.

Featured photo credit: Marjan Lazarevski via flic.kr

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Anna Johansson

Anna specializes in entrepreneurship, technology, and social media trends.

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Last Updated on June 24, 2019

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

A study [1] published in Depression and Anxiety found that social media users are more likely to be depressed. This was just one of the huge number of studies linking social media and depression[2] . But why exactly do platforms like Facebook and Instagram make people so unhappy? Well, we don’t know yet for sure, but there are some explanations.

Social Media Could Lead to Depression

Depression is a serious medical condition that affects how you think, feel, and behave. Social media may lead to depression in predisposed individuals or make existing symptoms of depression[3] worse explains[4] the study above’s senior author Dr. Brian Primack. So, the problem may not be in social media per se, but how we use it.

Signs You’re Suffering From “Social Media Depression”

If you feel like social media is having a negative impact on your mood, then you may be suffering from “social media depression.” Look for symptoms like:

• low self-esteem,

• negative self-talk,

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• a low mood,

• irritability,

• a lack of interest in activities once enjoyed,

• and social withdrawal.

If you’ve had these symptoms for more than two weeks and if this is how you feel most of the time, then you are likely depressed. Although “social media depression “is not a term recognized in the medical setting, social media depression seems to be a real phenomenon affecting around 50% of social media users. As explained in a review study[5] published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, if a person has a certain predisposition to depression and other mental disorders, social media use may only worsen their mental health.

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Social Media Could Crush Self-Esteem

We know that social media and depression are in some way linked, but why is this so? Well, according to Igor Pantic, MD, Ph.D.[6], social media use skews your perception about other people’s lives and traits. To explain this further, most people like to portray an idealized image of their lives, personal traits, and appearance on sites like Facebook and Instagram. If you confuse this idealized image with reality, you may be under the false impression that everyone is better than you which can crush your self-esteem and lead to depression. This is especially true for teens and young adults who are more likely to compare themselves to others. If you already suffer from low self-esteem, the illusion that everyone has it better off than you will just make you feel worse.

Causing Social Isolation and Other Negative Emotions

Another commonly cited reason for the negative impact of social media on mental health is its link with social isolation. Depressed people are more likely to isolate themselves socially and chose only to interact indirectly through social media platforms. But communication online tends to be superficial and is lacking when compared to real-life interaction explains Panic. What this means is not that social media leads to isolation but the other way around, possibly explaining why we find so many depressed persons on these sites.

Lastly, social media use may generate negative emotions in you like envy, jealousy, dislike, loneliness, and many others and this may worsen your depressive symptoms.

Why We Need to Take This Seriously

Both depression and social media use are on the rise according to epidemiological studies. Since each one has an impact on the other, we have to start thinking of healthier ways to use social media. Teens and young adults are especially vulnerable to the negative impact of social media on mental health.

Advice on Social Media Use

Although these findings did not provide any cause-effect explanation regarding Facebook and depression[7], they still do prove that social media use may not be a good way to handle depression. For this reason, the leading authors of these studies gave some suggestions as to how clinicians and people can make use of such findings.

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One suggestion is that clinicians should ask patients about their social media habits. Then they can advise them on how to change their outlook on social media use or even suggest limiting their time spent on social media.

Some social media users may also exhibit addictive behavior; they may spend too much time due to compulsive urges. Any compulsive behavior is bound to lead to feelings of guilt which can worsen depressive symptoms.

Having Unhealthy Relationship with Social Media

If you feel like your relationship with social media is unhealthy, then consider the advice on healthy social media use provided by psychology experts from Links Psychology[8]:

Avoid negative social comparison – always keep in mind that how people portray themselves and their lives on social media is not a realistic picture, but rather an idealized one. Also, avoid comparing yourself to others because this behavior can lead to negative self-talk.

Remember that social media is not a replacement for real life – Social media is great for staying in touch and having fun, but it should never replace real-world interactions.

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Avoid releasing personal information – For your safety and privacy, make sure to be careful with what you post online.

Report users who bully and harass you – It’s easy to be a bully in the anonymous and distant world of social media. Don’t take such offense personally and report those who abuse social media to harass others.

The bits of advice listed above can help you establish a healthy relationship with social media. Always keep these things in mind to avoid losing an objective perspective of what social media is and how it is different from real life. If you are currently suffering from depression, talk to your doctor about what is bothering you so that you can get the treatment you need to get better. Tell your doctor about your social media use and see if they could give you some advice on this topic.

Reference

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