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These 9 Amazing Things Will Happen When You Show People Who You Really Are

These 9 Amazing Things Will Happen When You Show People Who You Really Are

It’s hard to show people who we truly are. We’re taught that if we don’t build massive walls of protection we’ll get hurt, and it’s these walls that our true selves are hiding behind. The result is us living within the expectations of others and forgetting to take care of ourselves and live our own lives.

Our lives become about everyone else and not about us. We start interpreting ourselves and our lives based on how others are interpreting themselves and their lives. It then becomes a competition on who can externalize themselves the best. You only have to look on Facebook to see this. When you start showing people who you really are, none of this matters. You start to realize that competition is exhausting, boring, and pointless. It becomes a waste of energy that could be better used on positive pursuits.

When you start showing people who you really are, a number of amazing things happen.

1. You’ll have confidence in yourself

This confidence will mean that you’ll be able to achieve anything you put your mind to. You’ll realise that the only person holding you back is you and that your potential is limitless. Want to ask your boss for that well-deserved, long-overdue raise? No problem! Met someone you like and want to ask them out on a date? Bring it on! Your confidence will radiate out and draw in new experiences and new people to share this confidence with. It’ll help you realize your capabilities — you can deliver an excellent and well-informed presentation at work, and you can communicate effectively with your loved ones.

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2. You’ll start to consciously choose the people who you surround yourself with

You’ll begin to realize that sometimes you need to let go of certain types of people. For example, there may be one friend who is always around when you’re feeling good, but they’re nowhere to be found when you’re feeling down. You’ll evaluate whether it’s worth having these kinds of people around you. Your circle of trust will eventually be filled with people who are honest, open, and accepting, people who share your beliefs and values.

3. You’ll let go of the need to impress other people

You will define yourself based on what makes you feel good and not on what makes other people feel good. There’s more to you, and to life, than impressing other people. Other people’s opinions and judgments won’t matter because your sense of self-worth will be solid. You’ll come to realise that people will always have an opinion, but you will have reached a place where their opinions will fly over your head. Everything you do, you’ll be doing for you because you want to and not because it’s the expected thing to do. As Alan Watts says in his book Become Who You Are, “Know WHAT you want, not what you OUGHT to want.”

4. You’ll accept yourself

This goes hand in hand with showing people who you really are. To show someone who you are – warts and all – is to accept yourself. Quite simply, you are who you are. You know this. You know you’re not a morning person, you know slow drivers frustrate you, you know you give honest advice, you know you’re brilliant at your job. You know all this, but you accept that certain things frustrate you and you accept that you’re talented. Acceptance doesn’t mean arrogance. It means you know what does and doesn’t work for you. Most importantly, you accept that no one is perfect. As you accept yourself, acceptance of others will naturally follow. This means that people will gravitate to you because they know you won’t judge them and they can be themselves without fear.

5. You’ll develop an inner strength that no one can take away

This will be reflected in the life choices you make, whether it’s knowing you deserve that promotion at work, consciously choosing a partner that reflects your same beliefs, or even choosing to have some “me time” and not feeling guilty about it. No matter what life may throw your way, you’ll be fully adapted and well equipped to deal with it. Even something like saying “no” and setting clear boundaries takes inner strength that a lot of people don’t utilize as often as they need to.

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6. You’ll find that personal and professional fulfilment will become more important

What is it that makes you tick? What activity makes time disappear and has you forgetting to eat, drink, and go to the toilet? You’ll start focusing on yourself and what it is you want from life and you’ll discover new passions or reignite old ones. You’ve spent so much time hiding who you are that now you have the freedom, the confidence, and the know-how to fulfil long-held dreams and ideas. Through showing people who you really are, you’re unleashing aspects of yourself to yourself. You’ll know yourself better for it, which enables you to make the decision that you want more from life. Now, you’ll want to do something for you.

7. You’ll smile more and your outlook on life will be much more positive

Yes! A smile will never be far from your lips! And because you’ll be smiling more, you’ll attract positive people to you. A smile shows that you’re engaged, you’re actively listening, and you’re a cheerful person. Positivity breeds positivity, and so how you connect with other people changes for the better. Suddenly, you’ll find yourself focusing on other people’s positive attributes as well as your own. As an added bonus, positive people tend to attract other positive people, and so your circle becomes much happier and supportive.

8. You’ll be happier

You won’t be hiding yourself away from the world. You won’t be pretending to be something you’re not. You’ll start being honest with the most important person in your life: you. You’ll express your uniqueness and love every second of it. With this happiness will come a sense of inner peace. It’s like a breath of fresh air has just blown into your life and whisked away all the expectations and worries, replacing them with a conscious stillness. This will ripple out into every aspect of your life and to the people around you. Just as positivity attracts positivity, so happiness attracts happiness.

9. You’ll take back your power

No longer will you be led by other people’s ideas or expectations. Before we were taught how we should act or feel, we were children who found amazement and wonder in everything. As you show people who you are, you’re showing them a part of your soul and you will feel amazing about it. Perhaps you’ve always felt strongly about an important social cause but haven’t actively pursued your interest because you’ve been afraid of what other people may think. When you start showing who you really are and standing up for that cause, people may be surprised at first, but they’ll most likely be supportive and may even join you! The point is you’ll know that your life is yours and that you may as well spend it being who you are and showing that gift off to the world.

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In Conclusion

Becoming who you really are and showing this to the world will not result in rejection. Admittedly, it may take others a while to get their heads around the “new you,” but secretly they’re wishing they had the confidence to do it for themselves. If people can’t accept you for who you are, then you don’t need them in your life.

People make the assumption that showing people who you really are is being “too honest,” which often is negatively associated with “brutal honesty.” This is not the case. Yes, you’ll be more honest, but it’ll always be from a place of compassion and never with the intention to hurt someone.

You have the power to show your real self off to the world. The question is, are you allowing people see who you really are, or are you still hiding? Are you allowing other people to show you who they are?

Show people who you really are. Amazing things happen when you do.

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“You cannot fail at being yourself.” – Wayne Dyer

Featured photo credit: Dancing Girl Jumping In Street Looking Happy/Ed Gregory via dl.dropboxusercontent.com

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Last Updated on January 16, 2020

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

The way you feel about yourself greatly influences how you live and interact with others. If you are confident about yourself, you tend to see yourself positively and actually enjoy spending time with and around people. You don’t feel self-conscious or awkward around others, and that allows you to live your fullest and happiest life.

However, if you’re drowning in a sea of self-doubt, hesitancy and shyness, you often withdraw and isolate yourself from others and avoid interacting and connecting with people. That anxiety you feel in the pit of your stomach when you are around people is holding you back greatly and it is not good for your emotional health and overall well-being. You need to do something about it if you are low in self-confidence or have friends or family members who are not confident.

“Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone” – Anonymous

Here are simple, practical tips to boost your confidence right now and make you feel and act your best.

1. Stop labeling yourself as awkward, timid or shy.

When you label yourself as awkward, timid or shy, you sub-consciously tell your mind to act accordingly and psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. Instead of labeling and entertaining negative self-talk, visualize and affirm yourself as confident and strong. Close your eyes for a minute and visualize yourself in different situation as you would like to be.

Be your own cheerleader. Experts believe that positive affirmation and good mental practices like picturing yourself winning or achieving a goal can lead to greater feelings of self-assurance and prepare your brain for success.[1] As the saying goes, “seeing is believing.” Picture yourself as confident and soon enough you will begin to manifest behavior that gives evidence to this new ‘fact.’

2. Recognize that the world is not focused on you (unless, of course, you are Kanye West).

That means you don’t have to be excessively sensitive about who you are or what you are doing (or not doing). You are not on the center stage; there is no need for preoccupation with self and perfectionism. As rap music star Rocko sings, “You just do you and I will do me, aight?”

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Forget about trying to please everyone or being perfect. Trying to be perfect and being a people-pleaser puts too much pressure on you and creates unnecessary anxiety. Besides, people are too preoccupied with their own issues to pay much attention to your every move unless, of course, you are a mega famous, super celebrity like Beyonce or Kanye West.

3. Focus on other people as opposed to yourself.

If you are low on confidence, self-conscious, nervous and shy in social situations, focus your attention on other people and what they are saying or doing instead of focusing on your own awkwardness.

For example, think about what it is that is interesting about the person who’s the centre of the party or the guy or girl you are talking with. Prompt them to talk more about themselves and be genuinely curious and interested in what they say. You will instantly come across as confident and warmhearted.

People generally want to talk about themselves, be heard and understood. They will love it when you’re eager and willing to listen to them and really hear what they have to say.

This habit of focusing more on what you love in others as opposed to what you dislike in yourself will not only help you become more assertive and comfortable in virtually all social situations, but also instantly make you feel great about yourself.

4. Know (and accept) yourself for who you are.

Chinese military general, strategist and philosopher Sun Tzu, author of the internationally acclaimed book The Art of War, said, “Know yourself and you will win all battles.” Even in the battle with lack of confidence, you will need to know yourself to win.

Knowing yourself starts with understanding that people are not all the same, neither are all social situation suitable for everyone. You might not be confident in large gatherings, but you could be bold and confident in one-on-one and small group interactions. We all have our own unique gifts and unique ways of expressing ourselves. Embrace yours!

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Introverts, for example, have a quiet confidence that is, unfortunately, often confused for shyness. They are naturally low key and prefer to spend time alone. However, this natural disposition affords them certain unique gifts, such as an ability to listen better than most people and notice things that others don’t.

Your uniqueness is where your strength and advantage lies. You won’t be comfortable and confident in all situations all the time. Albert Einstein said,

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

5. Crack a smile.

If there is one sure way to instantly boost your confidence, it’s cracking a smile. Christine Clapp, a public speaking expert at The George Washington University, says that flashing those pretty, pearly white teeth will immediately make you appear both confident and composed. But, the effect of smiling is not just external. Studies show that smiling can also help nix feelings of stress and pave the way for a happier and more relaxed you.[2]

Not a bad return for something seemingly so trite, wouldn’t you agree?

6. Break a sweat—with exercise.

Working out is another great way to make yourself feel amazing and confident. Science has shown that exercising increases your endorphins, helps reduce stress, tones your muscles and makes you feel happy and confident.[3]

And hey, all you have to do is take a walk a few times a week and you’ll see the benefits. What seems to matter—as far as your confidence goes—is whether you break a sweat, not how strenuous your session is, which is pretty cool. Start working out now.

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7. Groom yourself.

This might seem mundane, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and shave can have on your confidence and self-image. And when you spritz on a scent, the boost on confidence and self-esteem is incredible. As it turns out, your favorite fragrance does more than make you smell oh-so-nice.

A study found that a fragrance can inspire confidence in men. Interestingly, the study also found that the more a man likes the fragrance, the more confident he might feel. Another study found that 90% of women feel more confident while wearing a scent than those who go fragrance-free.

8. Dress nicely.

Another one that might seem trite, but it works. If you dress nicely, you’ll instantly feel good about yourself and give your confidence a real boost. That is largely because you’ll feel attractive, presentable and sometimes even successful in nice clothes.

While dressing nicely means something different for everyone, it does not necessarily mean wearing $500 designer outfits. It means wearing clothes that are clean, that you are comfortable in and that are nice-looking and presentable, including casual clothes.

9. Do activities you enjoy.

Whether it is reading a book, playing a musical instrument, riding your bicycle or going fishing, do what you really enjoy and what makes you truly happy often. It will boost your self-esteem, soothe your ego and allow you to identify with your gifts and talents. That will in turn bolster your self-belief and grow your confidence exponentially.

You might not become popular for doing what you love, but you might not even want to be popular at all. Being popular doesn’t make you happy; doing what you love does.

10. Prepare for the possibility of rejection / setback.

Late World No. 1 professional tennis player Arthur Ashe said, “One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation.” You need to prepare for the possibility of rejection and setback.

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Why?

Everybody suffers rejection and setback at one point or another. You are not exempted. The question on your mind, therefore, should not be if you will be rejected, but how you will handle rejection when it comes.

Prepare yourself adequately in every situation to minimize the risk and effect of rejection and so that your confidence is not broken. For example, learn public speaking and rehearse what you are going to say beforehand if you have landed a public speaking engagement. That way, you are sure of yourself and confident you have what it takes to hack it. If you are rejected, don’t take it personally.

Rejection and setbacks happen to the best of us. Take it as a learning experience. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

11. Face uncomfortable situations square in the face.

Don’t run away from uncomfortable situations. Running away from people or situations because you feel scared, shy or timid only confirms and reinforces your shyness. Instead, face the situation that makes you uneasy square in the face. For example, go ahead and talk to that person you are afraid to approach, or go straight to the front of your yoga class! What’s the worst that can happen?

Prepare and be ready for any eventuality. The more you face your fears, the more you realize you are stronger than you thought and the more confident you get. This simple, yet admittedly courageous, act makes you unstoppable. You get comfortable being uncomfortable and begin to feel like you can take on the world. And that is the hallmark of someone destined for great things.

12. Sit up straight and walk tall—you are awesome!

Yes, sit up straight and believe you are awesome. Don’t slump in your chair or slouch your shoulders. Experts say the right stance can not only keep your self-esteem and mood lifted, but also lead to more confidence in your own thoughts.[4]

The way to sit is to open up your chest and keep your head level so that you look and feel poised and assured. And when you get up, stand tall and walk like you’re on a mission. People who sit up straight and walk tall are more attractive and instantly feel more confident. Try it now: you’ll feel fierce and confident just by sitting up straight and walking tall.

Featured photo credit: Freshh Connection via unsplash.com

Reference

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