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These 9 Amazing Things Will Happen When You Show People Who You Really Are

These 9 Amazing Things Will Happen When You Show People Who You Really Are

It’s hard to show people who we truly are. We’re taught that if we don’t build massive walls of protection we’ll get hurt, and it’s these walls that our true selves are hiding behind. The result is us living within the expectations of others and forgetting to take care of ourselves and live our own lives.

Our lives become about everyone else and not about us. We start interpreting ourselves and our lives based on how others are interpreting themselves and their lives. It then becomes a competition on who can externalize themselves the best. You only have to look on Facebook to see this. When you start showing people who you really are, none of this matters. You start to realize that competition is exhausting, boring, and pointless. It becomes a waste of energy that could be better used on positive pursuits.

When you start showing people who you really are, a number of amazing things happen.

1. You’ll have confidence in yourself

This confidence will mean that you’ll be able to achieve anything you put your mind to. You’ll realise that the only person holding you back is you and that your potential is limitless. Want to ask your boss for that well-deserved, long-overdue raise? No problem! Met someone you like and want to ask them out on a date? Bring it on! Your confidence will radiate out and draw in new experiences and new people to share this confidence with. It’ll help you realize your capabilities — you can deliver an excellent and well-informed presentation at work, and you can communicate effectively with your loved ones.

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2. You’ll start to consciously choose the people who you surround yourself with

You’ll begin to realize that sometimes you need to let go of certain types of people. For example, there may be one friend who is always around when you’re feeling good, but they’re nowhere to be found when you’re feeling down. You’ll evaluate whether it’s worth having these kinds of people around you. Your circle of trust will eventually be filled with people who are honest, open, and accepting, people who share your beliefs and values.

3. You’ll let go of the need to impress other people

You will define yourself based on what makes you feel good and not on what makes other people feel good. There’s more to you, and to life, than impressing other people. Other people’s opinions and judgments won’t matter because your sense of self-worth will be solid. You’ll come to realise that people will always have an opinion, but you will have reached a place where their opinions will fly over your head. Everything you do, you’ll be doing for you because you want to and not because it’s the expected thing to do. As Alan Watts says in his book Become Who You Are, “Know WHAT you want, not what you OUGHT to want.”

4. You’ll accept yourself

This goes hand in hand with showing people who you really are. To show someone who you are – warts and all – is to accept yourself. Quite simply, you are who you are. You know this. You know you’re not a morning person, you know slow drivers frustrate you, you know you give honest advice, you know you’re brilliant at your job. You know all this, but you accept that certain things frustrate you and you accept that you’re talented. Acceptance doesn’t mean arrogance. It means you know what does and doesn’t work for you. Most importantly, you accept that no one is perfect. As you accept yourself, acceptance of others will naturally follow. This means that people will gravitate to you because they know you won’t judge them and they can be themselves without fear.

5. You’ll develop an inner strength that no one can take away

This will be reflected in the life choices you make, whether it’s knowing you deserve that promotion at work, consciously choosing a partner that reflects your same beliefs, or even choosing to have some “me time” and not feeling guilty about it. No matter what life may throw your way, you’ll be fully adapted and well equipped to deal with it. Even something like saying “no” and setting clear boundaries takes inner strength that a lot of people don’t utilize as often as they need to.

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6. You’ll find that personal and professional fulfilment will become more important

What is it that makes you tick? What activity makes time disappear and has you forgetting to eat, drink, and go to the toilet? You’ll start focusing on yourself and what it is you want from life and you’ll discover new passions or reignite old ones. You’ve spent so much time hiding who you are that now you have the freedom, the confidence, and the know-how to fulfil long-held dreams and ideas. Through showing people who you really are, you’re unleashing aspects of yourself to yourself. You’ll know yourself better for it, which enables you to make the decision that you want more from life. Now, you’ll want to do something for you.

7. You’ll smile more and your outlook on life will be much more positive

Yes! A smile will never be far from your lips! And because you’ll be smiling more, you’ll attract positive people to you. A smile shows that you’re engaged, you’re actively listening, and you’re a cheerful person. Positivity breeds positivity, and so how you connect with other people changes for the better. Suddenly, you’ll find yourself focusing on other people’s positive attributes as well as your own. As an added bonus, positive people tend to attract other positive people, and so your circle becomes much happier and supportive.

8. You’ll be happier

You won’t be hiding yourself away from the world. You won’t be pretending to be something you’re not. You’ll start being honest with the most important person in your life: you. You’ll express your uniqueness and love every second of it. With this happiness will come a sense of inner peace. It’s like a breath of fresh air has just blown into your life and whisked away all the expectations and worries, replacing them with a conscious stillness. This will ripple out into every aspect of your life and to the people around you. Just as positivity attracts positivity, so happiness attracts happiness.

9. You’ll take back your power

No longer will you be led by other people’s ideas or expectations. Before we were taught how we should act or feel, we were children who found amazement and wonder in everything. As you show people who you are, you’re showing them a part of your soul and you will feel amazing about it. Perhaps you’ve always felt strongly about an important social cause but haven’t actively pursued your interest because you’ve been afraid of what other people may think. When you start showing who you really are and standing up for that cause, people may be surprised at first, but they’ll most likely be supportive and may even join you! The point is you’ll know that your life is yours and that you may as well spend it being who you are and showing that gift off to the world.

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In Conclusion

Becoming who you really are and showing this to the world will not result in rejection. Admittedly, it may take others a while to get their heads around the “new you,” but secretly they’re wishing they had the confidence to do it for themselves. If people can’t accept you for who you are, then you don’t need them in your life.

People make the assumption that showing people who you really are is being “too honest,” which often is negatively associated with “brutal honesty.” This is not the case. Yes, you’ll be more honest, but it’ll always be from a place of compassion and never with the intention to hurt someone.

You have the power to show your real self off to the world. The question is, are you allowing people see who you really are, or are you still hiding? Are you allowing other people to show you who they are?

Show people who you really are. Amazing things happen when you do.

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“You cannot fail at being yourself.” – Wayne Dyer

Featured photo credit: Dancing Girl Jumping In Street Looking Happy/Ed Gregory via dl.dropboxusercontent.com

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Last Updated on December 9, 2019

What Makes a Good Leader: 10 Critical Leadership Qualities

What Makes a Good Leader: 10 Critical Leadership Qualities

The word “leader” makes you think of people in charge. High-ranking people – your boss, politicians, presidents, CEOs…

But leadership really isn’t about a particular position or a person’s seniority. Just because someone has worked for many years doesn’t mean he has gained the qualities and skills to lead a team.

Getting promoted to a managerial position doesn’t automatically turn you into a leader either. CEOs and other high-ranking officials don’t always have great leadership skills.

So what makes a good leader? What are the characteristics of a leader?

Good leadership is about acquiring and honing skills. Leadership skills enable you to be a role model for a team in any environment. With great leadership qualities, successful leaders come in all shapes and sizes: in the home, at school, or at the workplace.

The following is a list of characteristics of a leader who successfully leads a great team:

1. Stay Positive, Even in the Worst Situations

Great leaders know that they won’t have a happy and motivated team unless they themselves exhibit a positive attitude. This can be done by remaining positive when things go wrong and, by creating a relaxed and happy atmosphere in the workplace.

Even some simple things like providing cupcakes or beers on Fridays can make the world of difference. An added perk is that team members are likely to work harder and do overtime when needed if they’re happy and appreciated.

Even in the worst situations such as experiencing low team morale or team members having made a big mistake at work, a great leader stays positive and figure out ways to keep the team motivated to solve the problems.

Walt Disney (1901-1966), had his share of hardships and challenges; and like any great leader, he managed to stay positive and find new opportunities. In 1928, Disney found that his film producer, Charles Mintz, wanted to reduce his payments for the Oswald series. Mintz threatened to cut ties entirely if Disney didn’t accept his terms, and Disney chose to part ways. But in leaving Oswald, Disney decided to create something new: the iconic Mickey Mouse.

    What Can You Learn from Walt Disney?

    Break down huge challenges into smaller ones and find ways to tackle them one by one.

    Think about the lessons you can learn from the mistake and jot them down — Because sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.

    2. Exhibit Confidence Everywhere

    All great leaders have to exhibit an air of confidence if they’re going to succeed. Please don’t confuse this with self-satisfaction and arrogance. You want people to look up to you for inspiration, not so they can punch you in the face.

    Confidence is important because people will be looking to you on how to behave, particularly if things aren’t going 100% right. If you remain calm and poised, team members are far more likely to as well. As a result, morale and productivity will remain high and the problem will be solved more quickly.

    If you panic and give up, they will know immediately and things will simply go down hill from there.

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    Elon Musk is a great example of a leader with confidence. He truly believes that Tesla will be successful, which he has shown many times through his actions. He converted 532,000 stock options at $6.63 each, their value on Dec. 4, 2009, before Tesla went public. It was a hefty bargain considering Tesla’s stock price stood at around $195 per share at that time. He doesn’t apologize for his beliefs and has drawn fire from just about everyone for his political actions.

      What Can You Learn from Elon Musk?

      You can’t instantly become a very confident person, but all the small things you do every day will gradually make you more confident:

      • List 10 things you like about yourself every day (something different every day), and you’ll be more confident about yourself.
      • Work on your strengths, do your best to enhance them.

      3. Have a Sense of Humor

      It’s imperative for any kind of leader to have a sense of humor, particularly when things go wrong. And they will.

      Your team members are going to be looking to you for how to react in a seemingly dire situation. It would probably be best if you weren’t stringing up a noose for yourself in the corner. You need to be able to laugh things off, because if staff morale goes down, so will productivity.

      Establish this environment prior to any kind of meltdown by encouraging humor and personal discussions in the work place.

      As president, Barack Obama exuded confidence and calm during stressful situations. But he was also known for his “dad jokes”,[1] his genuinely funny speeches at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, and appearing on Zack Galifianakis’s Between Two Ferns.[2] Obama’s sense of humor made him grounded, realistic, and honest – no doubt that helped during some tense moments in the White House!

        What Can You Learn from Barak Obama?

        Laugh at yourself. Confident people laugh about their own silly mistakes, others will also trust you more because you’re willing to share your experiences.

        Be observant and learn from the jokes others make. You can also get a lot of inspirations from the internet.

        4. Embrace Failures and Manage Set Backs

        No matter how hard you try to avoid it, failures will happen; that’s okay. You just need to know how to deal with them.

        Great leaders take them in strides. They remain calm and logically think through the situation and utilize their resources. What they don’t do is fall apart and reveal to their team how worried they are, which leads to negative morale, fear and binge-drinking under desks.

        Great leaders do in fact lead, even when they’re faced with setbacks.

        Henry Ford experienced a major setback after designing and improving the Ford Quadricycle. He founded the Detroit Automobile Company in 1899, but the resulting cars they produced did not live up to his standards and were too expensive. The company dissolved in 1901. Ford took this in stride and formed the Henry Ford Company. The sales were slow and the company had financial problems; it wasn’t until 1903 that the Ford Motor Company was successful and put the Ford on the map.

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          What Can You Learn from Walt Disney?

          Get to the root cause of any problem so you can prevent it from happening again and learn from the mistake.

          To do this, use the 5 Whys problem solving framework.

          By asking “why” for 5 times (or more) on why something happened, you can find out the key factor that caused the problem and can find the best solution to tackle the problem.

          You’ll also learn how to prevent this from happening again in the future after finding out a problem’s root cause.

          5. Listen, and Give Feedback

          This is far more complex than it actually sounds. Good communication skills are essential for a great leader. You may very well understand the cave of crazy that is your brain, but that doesn’t mean that you can adequately take the ideas out of it and explain them to someone else.

          The best leaders need to be able to communicate clearly with the people around them. They also need to be able to interpret other people properly and not take what they say personally.

          The Dalai Lama, as a symbol of the unification of the state of Tibet, represents and practices Buddhist values. The Dalai Lama’s leadership is benevolent and aims toward truth and understanding, alongside the other Buddhist precepts. This is a great example for all leaders: if you want to give good directions to others, you have to get feedback from others to understand the situation properly.

            What Can You Learn from Dalai Lama?

            Encourage communication between team members and establishing an open door policy.

            Practice not to interrupt team members when they’re talking.

            Summarize what they say and ask for feedback every time after you have talked about your ideas.

            6. Know How and When to Delegate

            No matter how much you might want to, you can’t actually do everything yourself. Even if you could, in a team environment that would be a terrible idea anyway.

            Good leaders recognize that delegation does more than simply alleviate their own stress levels (although that’s obviously a nice perk). Delegating to others shows that you have confidence in their abilities, which subsequently results in higher morale in the workplace, as well as loyalty from your staff. They want to feel appreciated and trusted.

            Although Steve Jobs is known for focusing in on the smallest of details, he knew how to delegate. By finding, cultivating, and trusting capable team members – like Tim Cook – Jobs was able to make Apple run smoothly, even while he had to be absent for extended periods of time.

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              What Can You Learn from Steve Jobs?

              To know when and how to delegate work to team members, you have to be very familiar with each of them:

              • List out all of their strengths, weaknesses and personalities.
              • Talk with your team members more too to know more about their passion and interests.

              Take a look at this guide and learn more about delegation: How to Delegate Work Effectively (The Definitive Guide for Leaders)

              7. Inspire and Grow People Around

              Any good leader knows how important it is to develop the skills of those around them. The best can recognize those skills early on. Not only will development make work easier as they improve and grow, it will also foster morale. In addition, they may develop some skills that you don’t possess that will be beneficial to the workplace.

              Great leaders share their knowledge with the team and give them the opportunity to achieve. This is how leaders gain their respect and loyalty.

              Pope Francis has been unusually popular with many Catholics and many non-Catholics. His position isn’t totally traditional, which is part of his appeal, but he also has admirable leadership skills. Pope Francis’s TED talk drew attention, because he encouraged leaders to be humble and to demonstrate solidarity with others. This inclusive, kind, and respectful style of leadership is incredibly important for any situation.

                What Can You Learn from Pope Francis?

                Spend time to talk with other team members individually to understand them.

                Find out team members’ current challenges and try to give feedback and encouragement so they will grow and do better.

                8. Take Responsibility and Never Blame Others

                Great leaders know that when it comes to their company, work place or whatever situation they’re in, they need to take personal responsibility for failure. How can they expect employees to hold themselves accountable if they themselves don’t?

                The best leaders don’t make excuses; they take the blame and then work out how to fix the problem as soon as possible. This proves that they’re trustworthy and possess integrity.

                Howard Gillman is the chancellor of UC Irvine. You might have heard of how the university rescinded a bunch of acceptances, and then changed its mind.[3] This past spring, an unusually high number of accepted students decided to matriculate; the school initially responded by rescinding offers over things like missed deadlines. But the college realized this was a mistake and reversed its decision. Gillman and the university accepted responsibility and decided to move past their earlier bad decision.

                  What Can You Learn from Howard Gillman?

                  Ask yourself what you could have done better to prevent this from happening.

                  Take the responsibility and think about what you can do better to prevent this from happening next time.

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                  9. Make Decisions Based on Lessons Learned in the Past

                  It’s safe to say that all great leaders will have to enter unchartered waters at some point during their career (figuratively, of course). Because of this, they have to be able to trust their intuition and draw on past experiences to guide them.

                  Great leaders know that there’s always something to learn from everything they have experienced before. They are able to connect the present challenges with the lessons learned in the past to make decisions and take actions promptly.

                  You can either recall what you’ve learned from your memories, or search from your notes (ideally, a software that you can access anywhere with things well-organized).

                  Warren Buffett, one of the richest people in the world, has mostly made the right calls. But in dealing with huge amounts of money, Buffett has also made several multi-million (and sometimes multi-billion) dollar mistakes. He has stated that buying the company Berkshire Hathaway was his biggest mistake.[4] From that poor choice, he realized that it was unwise to pursue “improvements” and “expansions” in the existing textile industry. Despite mistakes like this, Buffett has invested wisely – and it shows.

                    What Can You Learn from Warren Buffett?

                    Write down lessons you’ve learned from any mistakes you’ve made.

                    Have all the lessons well organized and  when similar things happen again in future, take these lessons as references.

                    10. Lead by Example and Commit to Do the Best

                    Great leaders stick to their commitments and promises, and they are the most committed and hard working ones on the job. All great leaders lead by example.

                    Why should your staff and team members give it their all if you don’t bother to? By proving your own commitment, great leaders will inspire others to do the same, as well as earn their respect and instill a good work ethic.

                    After 15 years of house arrest, Aung San Suu Kyi was voted state counsellor in Myanmar – one of the highest-profile and most powerful positions in the country. She became a symbol of peaceful resistance when she attempted to bring democracy to her country.[5] In the early years of her detention, she was often in solitary confinement. Suu Kyi is a perfect example of committed and belief-driven leadership, which she openly demonstrated during her many years of house arrest.

                      What Can You Learn from Aung San Suu Kyi?

                      Some people learn by observing the way you perform a task, some need more detailed guidelines.

                      So dedicate time to demonstrate your work to team members, let them observe how you do it. Summarize the skills you use and let team members know how you make difficult things work.

                      The Bottom Line

                      Leadership traits are learnable. If you practice consistently, you can be a great leader too.

                      Make small changes your habits when you work with your team – wherever that may be. Most of us aren’t presidents or CEOs.

                      But we all work with other people, and our actions always impact others. This gives every person the chance to develop leadership skills and to stand out from the crowd.

                      More About Leadership

                      Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

                      Reference

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