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Stand Up for Yourself: 4 Struggles That People Who Are Too Nice Know All Too Well

Stand Up for Yourself: 4 Struggles That People Who Are Too Nice Know All Too Well

Everybody has heard the proverb: “Nice guys finish last.” In many cases, this saying has proved all too true. While being super nice all the time may have certain advantages, it most certainly has just as many, if not more, downfalls. You need to be able to learn how to dial down on the niceness, without it turning you into a complete dick.

If you find that you are one of those guys or girls that are “too nice”, you can probably relate to some of these points. Hopefully you’ll learn from something here to benefit yourself, for once.

1. People constantly walk all over you.

Because you are a nice, helpful person by nature, people notice that you are always willing to go out of your way to help. The problem is, this often ends up later biting you in the butt.

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While I am not suggesting that you should not try to help others, you shouldn’t let people take advantage of you. Discern when to say “no” — for example, to those who are out only for themselves. Learn to speak up for yourself if people are always trying to speak for you in a situation. People will respect you more if you show a little bit of assertiveness.

2. People hardly take you seriously.

If you are the kind of person that is always in a positive mood for everything, many persons will have a very hard time taking you seriously. Of course, going through life with a lighthearted attitude can be good for the soul. But people will often interpret too much optimism as your inability to take anything serious; in the end, this will invalidate any good points you may have.

Stay positive when the situation call for it…But remember to tone down the happy-go lucky attitude when there is business to be done.

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3. You forgive and forget too easily.

Being a nice guy (or gal), it makes sense that you will often not want to deal with confrontation. So, you choose to forgive people, even when you know they don’t deserve it. What you may or may not know is that this is only a temporary solution to your problems, and what you need to realize is that this person will more than likely end up screwing you over again in the future.

If you want to be able to resolve issues with others effectively, force them to take responsibility for actions that affect you (or others) negatively. They will either realize that they were in the wrong and not do you wrong in the future, or they will simply do it again, without care for your feelings. In which case, you need to start letting these negative people out of your life.

4. You love fast and fall hard.

You meet somebody, and you start to really care for them. You want to do whatever it takes to make this person happy. You start to make changes and sacrifices in your own life, just to please this person. The problem? The other person doesn’t exactly feel the same way about you, leaving you in deep trouble.

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Often times, the person gets used to everything that you do for them, and starts to take advantage of you. You get so caught up in your feelings with this person, you aren’t able to see how they’re hurting you.

So, how do you prevent this situation? Don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve. If you are giving your all for someone and they aren’t giving back, you need to simply walk away from this situation. Making someone else happy is not worth it if you can’t be happy yourself.

One of these days, you’ll find that one person who will truly appreciate what you have to offer. Once you find this person, your nice personality will never be an issue again.

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Featured photo credit: https://pixabay.com/en/users/nazmusshadhat0-1193233/ via pixabay.com

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Michael Daws

Aircraft Painter, Sports & Lifestyle Blogger

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

What do I want to do with my life? It’s a question all of us think about at one point or another.

For some, the answer comes easily. For others, it takes a lifetime to figure out.

It’s easy to just go through the motions and continue to do what’s comfortable and familiar. But for those of you who seek fulfillment, who want to do more, these questions will help you paint a clearer picture of what you want to do with your life.

1. What are the things I’m most passionate about?

The first step to living a more fulfilling life is to think about the things that you’re passionate about.

What do you love? What fulfills you? What “work” do you do that doesn’t feel like work? Maybe you enjoy writing, maybe you love working with animals or maybe you have a knack for photography.

The point is, figure out what you love doing, then do more of it.

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2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?

Think about your past experiences and the things in your life you’re most proud of.

How did those accomplishments make you feel? Pretty darn good, right? So why not try and emulate those experiences and feelings?

If you ran a marathon once and loved the feeling you had afterwards, start training for another one. If your child grew up to be a star athlete or musician because of your teachings, then be a coach or mentor for other kids.

Continue to do the things that have been most fulfilling for you.

3. If my life had absolutely no limits, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

Here’s a cool exercise: Think about what you would do if you had no limits.

If you had all the money and time in the world, where would you go? What would you do? Who would you spend time with?

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These answers can help you figure out what you want to do with your life. It doesn’t mean you need millions of dollars to be happy though.

What it does mean is answering these questions will help you set goals to reach certain milestones and create a path toward happiness and fulfillment. Which leads to our next question …

4. What are my goals in life?

Goals are a necessary component to set you up for a happy future. So answer these questions:

Once you figure out the answers to each of these, you’ll have a much better idea of what you should do with your life.

5. Whom do I admire most in the world?

Following the path of successful people can set you up for success.

Think about the people you respect and admire most. What are their best qualities? Why do you respect them? What can you learn from them?

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You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.[1] So don’t waste your time with people who hold you back from achieving your dreams.

Spend more time with happy, successful, optimistic people and you’ll become one of them.

6. What do I not like to do?

An important part of figuring out what you want to do with your life is honestly assessing what you don’t want to do.

What are the things you despise? What bugs you the most about your current job?

Maybe you hate meetings even though you sit through 6 hours of them every day. If that’s the case, find a job where you can work more independently.

The point is, if you want something to change in your life, you need to take action. Which leads to our final question …

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7. How hard am I willing to work to get what I want?

Great accomplishments never come easy. If you want to do great things with your life, you’re going to have to make a great effort. That will probably mean putting in more hours the average person, getting outside your comfort zone and learning as much as you can to achieve as much as you can.

But here’s the cool part: it’s often the journey that is the most fulfilling part. It’s during these seemingly small, insignificant moments that you’ll often find that “aha” moments that helps you answer the question,

“What do I want to do with my life?”

So take the first step toward improving your life. You won’t regret it.

Featured photo credit: Andrew Ly via unsplash.com

Reference

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