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Stand Up for Yourself: 4 Struggles That People Who Are Too Nice Know All Too Well

Stand Up for Yourself: 4 Struggles That People Who Are Too Nice Know All Too Well

Everybody has heard the proverb: “Nice guys finish last.” In many cases, this saying has proved all too true. While being super nice all the time may have certain advantages, it most certainly has just as many, if not more, downfalls. You need to be able to learn how to dial down on the niceness, without it turning you into a complete dick.

If you find that you are one of those guys or girls that are “too nice”, you can probably relate to some of these points. Hopefully you’ll learn from something here to benefit yourself, for once.

1. People constantly walk all over you.

Because you are a nice, helpful person by nature, people notice that you are always willing to go out of your way to help. The problem is, this often ends up later biting you in the butt.

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While I am not suggesting that you should not try to help others, you shouldn’t let people take advantage of you. Discern when to say “no” — for example, to those who are out only for themselves. Learn to speak up for yourself if people are always trying to speak for you in a situation. People will respect you more if you show a little bit of assertiveness.

2. People hardly take you seriously.

If you are the kind of person that is always in a positive mood for everything, many persons will have a very hard time taking you seriously. Of course, going through life with a lighthearted attitude can be good for the soul. But people will often interpret too much optimism as your inability to take anything serious; in the end, this will invalidate any good points you may have.

Stay positive when the situation call for it…But remember to tone down the happy-go lucky attitude when there is business to be done.

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3. You forgive and forget too easily.

Being a nice guy (or gal), it makes sense that you will often not want to deal with confrontation. So, you choose to forgive people, even when you know they don’t deserve it. What you may or may not know is that this is only a temporary solution to your problems, and what you need to realize is that this person will more than likely end up screwing you over again in the future.

If you want to be able to resolve issues with others effectively, force them to take responsibility for actions that affect you (or others) negatively. They will either realize that they were in the wrong and not do you wrong in the future, or they will simply do it again, without care for your feelings. In which case, you need to start letting these negative people out of your life.

4. You love fast and fall hard.

You meet somebody, and you start to really care for them. You want to do whatever it takes to make this person happy. You start to make changes and sacrifices in your own life, just to please this person. The problem? The other person doesn’t exactly feel the same way about you, leaving you in deep trouble.

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Often times, the person gets used to everything that you do for them, and starts to take advantage of you. You get so caught up in your feelings with this person, you aren’t able to see how they’re hurting you.

So, how do you prevent this situation? Don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve. If you are giving your all for someone and they aren’t giving back, you need to simply walk away from this situation. Making someone else happy is not worth it if you can’t be happy yourself.

One of these days, you’ll find that one person who will truly appreciate what you have to offer. Once you find this person, your nice personality will never be an issue again.

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Featured photo credit: https://pixabay.com/en/users/nazmusshadhat0-1193233/ via pixabay.com

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Michael Daws

Aircraft Painter, Sports & Lifestyle Blogger

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Last Updated on September 17, 2019

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

Positive thinking can lead to a lot of positive change in your life. Developing an optimistic outlook can be good for both your physical and mental health.

But sometimes, certain situations arise in life that makes it hard to keep a positive outlook. Take steps to make positive thinking become more like your second nature and you’ll reap the biggest benefits.

Here are 10 ways to make thinking positive thoughts easy:

1. Spend Time with Positive People

If you surround yourself with constant complainers, their negativity is likely to rub off on you.

Spend time with positive friends and family members to increase the likelihood that their positive thinking habits will become yours too. It’s hard to be negative when everyone around you is so positive.

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2. Take Responsibility for Your Behavior

When you encounter problems and difficulties in life, don’t play the role of the victim. Acknowledge your role in the situation and take responsibility for your behavior.

Accepting responsibility can help you learn from mistakes and prevent you from blaming others unfairly.

3. Contribute to the Community

One of the best ways to feel good about what you have, is to focus on what you have to give.

Volunteer in some manner and give back to the community. Helping others can give you a new outlook on the world and can assist you with positive thinking.

4. Read Positive and Inspirational Materials

Spend time each day reading something that encourages positive thinking. Read the Bible, spiritual material, or inspirational quotes to help you focus on what’s important to you in life. It can be a great way to start and end your day.

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Some recommendations for you:

5. Recognize and Replace Negative Thoughts

You won’t be successful at positive thinking if you’re still plagued by frequent negative thoughts. Learn to recognize and replace thoughts that are overly negative. Often, thoughts that include words like “always” and “never” signal that they aren’t true.

If you find yourself thinking something such as, “I always mess everything up,” replace it with something more realistic such as, “Sometimes I make mistakes but I learn from them.”

There’s no need to make your thoughts unrealistically positive, but instead, make them more realistic.

6. Establish and Work Toward Goals

It’s easier to be positive about problems and setbacks when you have goals that you’re working toward. Goals will give you motivation to overcome those obstacles when you encounter problems along the way. Without clear goals, it’s harder to make decisions and gauge your progress.

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Learn to set SMART goals to help you achieve more.

7. Consider the Consequences of Negativity

Spend some time thinking about the consequences of negative thinking. Often, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

For example, a person who thinks, “I probably won’t get this job interview,” may put less effort into the interview. As a result, he may decrease his chances of getting the job.

Create a list of all the ways negative thinking impacts your life. It likely influences your behavior, your relationships, and your feelings. Then, create a list of the ways in which positive thinking could be beneficial.

8. Offer Compliments to Others

Look for reasons to compliment others. Be genuine in your praise and compliments, but offer it frequently. This will help you look for the good in other people.

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9. Create a Daily Gratitude List

If you start keeping a daily gratitude list, you’ll start noticing exactly how much you have to be thankful for. This can help you focus on the positive in your life instead of thinking about all the bad things that have happened in the day.

Getting in the habit of showing an attitude of gratitude makes positive thinking more of a habit. Here’re 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.

10. Practice Self-Care

Take good care of yourself and you’ll be more equipped to think positively.

Get plenty of rest and exercise and practice managing your stress well. Taking care of your physical and mental health will provide you with more energy to focus on positive thinking.

Learn about these 30 Self-Care Habits for a Strong and Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit.

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Featured photo credit: DESIGNECOLOGIST via unsplash.com

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