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11 Realizations That Defined You Leaving Your Hometown

11 Realizations That Defined You Leaving Your Hometown

Leaving home was something every teenager yearned for, and every 20-something looks back on as a defining time in their lives. Overwhelmed with a wide range of emotion, this is pretty much what you came to realize throughout the process of life after hometown.

1. You can go somewhere without everyone knowing you.

Growing up, your family was involved in the community or neighborhood or some friend group. You knew this because you couldn’t go anywhere without running into someone who recognized you, at which point you had to conjure up your best no-I-swear-I’m-actually-happy-to-see-you face. After leaving your hometown, you had this strange feeling whenever you went out. Eventually you realized that strange sensation was feeling relaxed because you no longer had to worry about who you would run into at the restaurant.

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2. You had the power to recreate your identity.

No longer did you have to deal with people referencing everything about your life, from the time your mother was pregnant to when you accidentally spilled beer all over Sarah Marshall’s hair at the prom after-party (hosted by the “cool parents”). If you wanted to be the mysteriously quiet intellect, you could. If you wanted to be everyone’s favorite bro, you had the power to make that happen.

3. You were no longer associated with your sibling(s).

Rather than waking up to feelings of inadequacy because everyone expected you to be like them, you could now do your thing. So what if big sis was awesome at violin – you hated violin! This meant you could explore your own passions without pressure to live up to family’s expectations of what you should be doing.

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4. You had no idea where you were going.

It kind of sucked at first, when you arrived in your new city that you would’ve thought was awesome if you could actually find anything in that town. And since you probably didn’t have a GPS back then, and certainly weren’t using Google Maps, you basically spent the majority of your free time driving around aimlessly trying to figure out where the heck the nearest coffee shop was.

5. Your past didn’t matter anymore.

At last, at last! Thank God, you were free at last! No more avoiding Michelle because she knows what you did last summer. Forget all the mistakes you made going through puberty. Let’s face it, there’s a large part of your growing up that you always wanted to forget. And leaving your hometown meant leaving all those painful memories behind.

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6. You get new first impressions with everyone.

It’s cool that you didn’t have to worry about running into people you somewhat disliked everyone you went, but now you had to meet new people. Which means you still had to go through that whole I’m-smiling-because-I’m-supposed-to thing. Except at this point the stakes were even higher, because if you didn’t make a good first impression, who were you going to hang out with? Who were you going to date? Who were you going to go with to the mall or semi-formal? Which can lead to our next point.

7. You felt kind of lonely.

You took a massive dose of culture shock going from knowing everyone to no one, and that left you feeling a bit down in the dumps. Even though you were ready to leave home, you were comfortable in your hometown. You knew the people, the places, the back roads, which restaurants had the best deals on which nights. Now you just… you… well, you did nothing, because you didn’t know many people yet, if any, and you felt way to awkward scavenging your new terrain by yourself. But it did give you plenty of time to think.

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8. Your future is now however you wanted to define it.

You felt incredibly refreshed by the idea that you could do whatever the front door you wanted, and nobody could tell you otherwise. But then that freedom became overwhelming. What were you going to do? How is a teenager supposed to figure out what they’re going to do for the next sixty years? Friends and advisors didn’t help you with this debacle, and the only one that seemed to understand you was your pillow. And chocolate.

9. You realized you actually did need your parents’ help.

Sure, mom and pop were intrusive, annoying, infuriating, demanding, and every other negative adjective your angst-ridden self could muster. But after leaving your hometown you came to realize that hey, maybe they did know a thing or two about this crazy, messed up existence we call life. You started talking to them again, asking them for advice, and after several years of being in a new place you finally admitted there was no way you could’ve made it without them.

10. You got punched in the face by the outside world.

You did more growing up in your first year away from home than you did the rest of your life up until that point. But even though you learned a ton, it wasn’t necessarily the most joyous experience. You realized the world, despite the magnificence it holds, is basically the corporeal version of a menopausal psycho’s mind. Eventually you came to embrace and thrive in the world that terrorized you.

11. You actually kind of do like your hometown.

You came to grips with the fact that you wanted to go back and visit your hometown. You wanted to see your old favorite spots, and see how your old friends had changed, and enjoy your mom’s fantastic home-cooked meals that you didn’t realize were so freaking good until you spent the last week of every month eating cheap noodles and frozen pizzas. You realized you love the nostalgia that comes with your old stomping grounds. And most importantly you realized that your hometown really was a pretty great place to grow up.

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Kenneth Burke

Director of Marketing

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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