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5 Things You Should Keep In Mind About Dating A Gentlelady

5 Things You Should Keep In Mind About Dating A Gentlelady

While you may not be as familiar with the term “gentlelady” as your are with the term “gentleman”, the term has a similar meaning but in a female context. A gentlelady carries herself with class and is often proud to be associated with this group. Whether you are one or you are dating one, here are some tips for dating and loving a person that is a gentlelady.

1. They are not easy

Gentleladies are not in a hurry to “get to the second base” or to “seal the deal” as they value high quality relationships and love to enjoy each moment of the courtship process. They will appreciate taking more time to know you and discover what kind of person you really are before becoming more intimate. Also, they feel it is simply inappropriate to burn through the steps, as it could lead them to be disrespected further along the way. For that reason, it is better to not go with an “end goal” in mind, especially if you are on a date with her for the first time.

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2. They love protective gestures

Gentleladies don’t feel the need to always prove how strong they are or to challenge others on a constant basis, for they prefer to simply be themselves and entrust their delicate nature to a partner who will take care of them. When walking together, they love if you walk on the street side protecting them from the cars, but they also love when you remove obstacles from in front of them, for example, opening doors might be a great chance to prove this trait. If there is a staircase, they will appreciate if you hold their hands, and if it rains, you hold the umbrella over them. Those are mainly symbolic gestures but they reflect the fact that you respect them, love them and, more importantly, you are capable of protecting them.

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3. They expect you to follow etiquette

Pulling her chair out and allowing her to face the room in a restaurant, using the utensils properly, paying the bill, or not criticizing her cooking if she is the host are considered the polite basics that you should always abide by. Gentleladies are more traditional and will surely appreciate your effort for being a little more classy. If you have a date with her, be on time, and if you really like her, after a few dates, she would greatly value if you demonstrated interest in meeting her parents or siblings. Not only because it is a proper etiquette but also because it reveals that you really respect and care for her.

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4. They are very loyal and have high standards

Even if you have just recently started dating her, a gentlelady will always be loyal to you and will expect the same from you in return. She will also expect you to keep the private information she tells you for yourself, and to never hit on another women. Gentleladies assume that you have some integrity and that you take the relationship seriously. It is of primary importance for her to be able to fully trust you and your commitments to her. Dating a gentlelady will require more diligence but keep in mind that if you do it, you can expect the same in return.

5. They prefer that you take charge

Unlike a more independent woman, a gentlelady will expect you to take charge in certain situations. If you plan to have dinner with her in a restaurant, make sure to have a reservation first! She will appreciate the fact that she can entrust you with the planning of the date. From picking her up to bringing her safely back home at the end of the date will greatly increases your chances with her, and who does not love a well-planned romantic date, right? Dating a “take-charge” gentleman who has taste and creativity will allow her to feel safe and predispose her to the enjoyment of life’s pleasures without having to worry about petty details.

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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