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Finding “The One” Isn’t Unrealistic, Here’s How

Finding “The One” Isn’t Unrealistic, Here’s How

When it comes to relationships, many people experience the same thing. They either flee happy relationships or stay in poor ones for a single reason: the fear of missing out.

Almost everyone wants to find the perfect mate, known as “The One.” This mate fulfills everything that you ever wanted in a mate and even things you wanted in yourself. This perfect partner is different for everyone; however, one thing is certain, finding the love of your life is not easy.

So many people go through life dating blindly in an attempt to find that special Prince Charming, or looking for that special Cinderella to fit in the glass slipper. Many people settle down when they find someone who they care about enough to consider spending their life with. Plain and simple: this is the wrong way to find your perfect mate.

If you travel through life hoping that the thing you want most will simply hit you in the face, there is a good chance you will never find it. Of course, you will find people and things that you like or even love. However, if you do not have plan to get everything you desire, you will never reach your goals.

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If you have struggled to find “The One”, follow these essential rules for finding and attracting the perfect mate.

Know What You Want In a Mate

The biggest problem that most people have when they look for their perfect partner is that they have no idea what they want. Some people may have a list of arbitrary must-haves. Others will simply go out with anyone who asks them and hope for the best.

To find the person that you are most compatible with, you need to know what you are looking for. Even if you already know the exact qualities you want in another person, it is important to have a real understanding of what these qualities mean.

A great exercise to figure out what is truly important to you is to write out all of the traits you desire in a list. Somethings sound great in your head; yet, when you write them out on paper, you realize this is not what you want at all.

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When you have defined precisely what you want, you will be able to recognize it in another person. When you can recognize whether the person you are with is right for you, it will ease any fears of missing out.

Follow Your Intention with Action

Establishing what you want in a mate is the best way to set your intentions in life and in love. However, it is not enough to set your intentions, you must also follow this with action.

Once you know what you want in another person, you need to go out and get it. The way that you do this is different from how you might have previously tried to meet people. You need to get out into the kind of environment where you might find your perfect mate.

You must stop looking to meet people at bars, clubs, or parties if you have a specific idea of who your soul mate is. Unless “bar-fly” is at the top of your list, you are better suited to be looking in specific places and situations to meet someone special.

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For example, if your perfect mate dedicates much of their time and resources to adventure and foreign travel, then you are better suited looking for someone at Machu Picchu than at the bodega down the street. Yes, the pool of people will be smaller, but you will already have plenty of things in common, thus increasing your chances of finding that special person.

Take Your Time

Falling head over heels in love at first sight is hardly what it seems. In most cases, couples fall head over heels in lust. They also neglect to have important conversations about their priorities in life because they do not want to rock the boat

If you think you have found “The One”, then it is important to take your time when you begin your relationship. Spending time getting to know the person that they are without the pressures attached to dating is the best way to know whether that person is a compatible mate for you. This also prevents the drama of all the ups and downs from clouding your judgement.

There is nothing wrong with taking your time when you begin a meaningful relationship. There is no time lost when you are getting to know your soul-mate because if you do it right, you can spend the rest of your lives together.

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Conclusion

Finding “The One” is not impossible. Just because it’s difficult does not mean it will never happen. However, it is much easier to find something when you know what you are looking for and where to look for it. If you employ this strategy in all areas of your life, you may find yourself getting exactly what you want.

Featured photo credit: mokeywings via flickr.com

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Last Updated on March 25, 2020

How to Crush Your Lack of Motivation and Always Stay Motivated

How to Crush Your Lack of Motivation and Always Stay Motivated

How many times have you not achieved your goals and let yourself down due to your lack of motivation? When you’re not wallowing in sadness and self-pity, you are too busy procrastinating till you can’t anymore and before you know it, you are part of vicious cycle of anxiety and stress.

Whether it’s losing weight or bringing your business to fruition – motivation is essential for growth and success in every sphere of our lives.

That said, it is not easy staying motivated. In order to constantly stay motivated, you need to take ownership of your life and consciously make efforts in that direction.

Well, it’s never too late to take matters in your hands and change the course of your life. Here are 11 effective ways to crush your lack of motivation and always stay motivated:

1. Write Your Goals

The power of writing goals down has always been underestimated. Why write when you can remember, right? Wrong.

Our thoughts are all over the place and the first step to achieve your goals is to organize your thoughts. So, write your goals down, however big or small they might be. Make them as specific as possible and assign deadlines to each of them.

As you write them down and revisit them regularly, they get further drilled in your head, taking you closer to your goals. Doing this small exercise helps you to remain focused, motivated and lets you track your progress with ease.

Start today – take to your laptop or a diary and get down to writing what you wish to achieve in life.

2. Beat Procrastination

Your lack of motivation and procrastination go hand in hand. Every time you procrastinate, your motivation levels take a greater hit. The only way to bring an end to this loop is to stop procrastinating.

Next time you find yourself putting off something for ‘later’, stop and assess the reasons behind it. Get to the root of the cause and eliminate it in order to overcome this poor habit of procrastinating which is sabotaging your life and mental health.

Take a look at this guide and learn how to beat procrastination:

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What Is Procrastination (And the Complete Guide to Stop Procrastinating)

When you finally overcome procrastination, you will realize the positive impact it has on your mood and motivation levels.

3. Celebrate Small Wins

In the quest to achieve the bigger goals in life, we often forget to celebrate the smaller wins along the way. An achievement is an achievement – be it big or small, it deserves to be acknowledged and celebrated.

Finished a project on time? Reward yourself. Managed to run on the treadmill for a good one hour? Pat yourself on the back. Found time to meditate? Celebrate it.

It is these small achievements that reinstate that we are on the right path and take us one step closer to the bigger goals.

So, get into the habit of recognizing and appreciating small wins. You will be surprised to see how this practice helps you stay motivated.

4. Practice Gratitude

It’s easier to whine about what we don’t have rather than counting our blessings. Isn’t it?

Making gratefulness a part of your life is a very important step to retain high motivational levels. It revitalizes our spirits and renews our enthusiasm for life.

So, how do you practice gratitude? For starters, keep a gratitude journal to jot down what you are grateful for, express your gratitude to people you love and spread positivity wherever you go. If you need some inspiration to be thankful for, here it is:

60 Things To Be Thankful For In Life

By doing so, you begin to focus more on what you have rather than what you don’t and that is a great start to stay motivated.

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5. Be Optimistic

Life is not always hunky dory. There will be bad days when things aren’t going in your favor, when you feel lost and all you want to do is give up.

At such times, instead of letting negativity take over your life, adopt an optimistic approach to life. Quit overthinking, ask the right questions and focus on finding solutions.

Yes, there will be hurdles along the way but if you hang on to positive affirmations and hopes, the journey will be a lot smoother. So, with every passing day, sow the seeds of positivity and you are sure to build a positive environment around you.

6. Don’t Dwell on the Past

A lot of times, our lack of motivation stems from the habit of dwelling on the past. This gives rise to fear and regrets, preventing us from making progress in the present day.

Dwelling on the past is nothing but a waste of time. Understand that the past is long gone, and you cannot do anything to change that.

What you can do is make your present day worthwhile. Instead of looking back and having regrets, learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself and move on.

So, the next time you find your mind wandering off to the past, be determined to change the way you think and consciously concentrate on living in the present. This guide can help you:

10 Simple Steps To Let Go Of The Past

7. Face your Fears

You can never find motivation where there is fear. Identify the fear that is pulling you back and tackle it.

If you don’t face your fear head on, you cannot expect to conquer it and renew your motivation.

Ask yourself: What is stopping you? What are you scared of?

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Once you accept your fear, you can work on an action plan and think of solutions to overcome it. This article will give you some effective tips on conquering your fears:

How to Overcome Your Irrational Fears (That Stop You from Succeeding)

Seek external help if required but don’t choose to turn a blind eye over your fears – it will only aggravate matters.

8. Visualize your Success

You must have heard the famous quote, ‘see it to believe it’. That is exactly what visualization is about.

One of the most effective self-motivation techniques, visualizing the process to your desired outcome helps you move in a positive direction and achieve your goal.

Close your eyes and focus all your energies on the minutest of details that will take you where you want to reach. Doing this exercise everyday inspires you to keep going and not lose hope. The vision of attaining success will drive you to do better while instilling belief and confidence.

9. Find Inspiration

Can’t seem to find inspiration inwards? Don’t panic. There are plenty of external sources to gain inspiration from.

From motivational books and quotes to speeches, films and apps – it is a good idea to take help from motivational material to rekindle your spirits and regain your motivation.

Everyone is wired differently. For instance, a self-help book might work for your friend, but it might do nothing to move you. So, find what inspires you and turn to it when you are in desperate need for motivation.

Finding inspiration externally fills you with hope and sometimes that is all you need.

10. Enjoy Downtime

You are clearly exhausted with all the running you’re doing in life. So much, that you don’t even have time to stop and think what’s causing you so much unhappiness. All you know is that you are lacking motivation and everyday seems to have become a struggle.

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Now, that’s certainly not how you should live the rest of your life.

You need to schedule downtime for yourself, relax and give your mind and body some rest. Take a vacation, indulge in hobbies, meet some friends, put your hair down and stop with all the overthinking. It is important to do things that make you happy in order to think clearly and stay motivated.

11. Meditate Regularly

Meditation lets you take control of your mind. It improves focus and concentration while helping you relax.

Whenever you have had a tough day or find your thoughts going places, the best way to calm yourself down is by closing your eyes and meditating. It helps you to remove all the unnecessary frills in life and keeps you on the right track.

Include meditation in your daily schedule and you are sure to see an improvement in your productivity and motivation.

The Bottom Line

Practicing these simple exercises isn’t the tough part, what’s tough is religiously doing them every day.

However, don’t expect to get rid of your lack of motivation overnight. There will still be days when you will be low on energy but by making these conscious efforts to stay motivated, you are sure to see a vast change in your perspective and your response to bad days.

So, start today and be committed to making a positive change in your life.

More Tips About Staying Motivated

Featured photo credit: Sonnie Hiles via unsplash.com

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