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Finding “The One” Isn’t Unrealistic, Here’s How

Finding “The One” Isn’t Unrealistic, Here’s How

When it comes to relationships, many people experience the same thing. They either flee happy relationships or stay in poor ones for a single reason: the fear of missing out.

Almost everyone wants to find the perfect mate, known as “The One.” This mate fulfills everything that you ever wanted in a mate and even things you wanted in yourself. This perfect partner is different for everyone; however, one thing is certain, finding the love of your life is not easy.

So many people go through life dating blindly in an attempt to find that special Prince Charming, or looking for that special Cinderella to fit in the glass slipper. Many people settle down when they find someone who they care about enough to consider spending their life with. Plain and simple: this is the wrong way to find your perfect mate.

If you travel through life hoping that the thing you want most will simply hit you in the face, there is a good chance you will never find it. Of course, you will find people and things that you like or even love. However, if you do not have plan to get everything you desire, you will never reach your goals.

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If you have struggled to find “The One”, follow these essential rules for finding and attracting the perfect mate.

Know What You Want In a Mate

The biggest problem that most people have when they look for their perfect partner is that they have no idea what they want. Some people may have a list of arbitrary must-haves. Others will simply go out with anyone who asks them and hope for the best.

To find the person that you are most compatible with, you need to know what you are looking for. Even if you already know the exact qualities you want in another person, it is important to have a real understanding of what these qualities mean.

A great exercise to figure out what is truly important to you is to write out all of the traits you desire in a list. Somethings sound great in your head; yet, when you write them out on paper, you realize this is not what you want at all.

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When you have defined precisely what you want, you will be able to recognize it in another person. When you can recognize whether the person you are with is right for you, it will ease any fears of missing out.

Follow Your Intention with Action

Establishing what you want in a mate is the best way to set your intentions in life and in love. However, it is not enough to set your intentions, you must also follow this with action.

Once you know what you want in another person, you need to go out and get it. The way that you do this is different from how you might have previously tried to meet people. You need to get out into the kind of environment where you might find your perfect mate.

You must stop looking to meet people at bars, clubs, or parties if you have a specific idea of who your soul mate is. Unless “bar-fly” is at the top of your list, you are better suited to be looking in specific places and situations to meet someone special.

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For example, if your perfect mate dedicates much of their time and resources to adventure and foreign travel, then you are better suited looking for someone at Machu Picchu than at the bodega down the street. Yes, the pool of people will be smaller, but you will already have plenty of things in common, thus increasing your chances of finding that special person.

Take Your Time

Falling head over heels in love at first sight is hardly what it seems. In most cases, couples fall head over heels in lust. They also neglect to have important conversations about their priorities in life because they do not want to rock the boat

If you think you have found “The One”, then it is important to take your time when you begin your relationship. Spending time getting to know the person that they are without the pressures attached to dating is the best way to know whether that person is a compatible mate for you. This also prevents the drama of all the ups and downs from clouding your judgement.

There is nothing wrong with taking your time when you begin a meaningful relationship. There is no time lost when you are getting to know your soul-mate because if you do it right, you can spend the rest of your lives together.

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Conclusion

Finding “The One” is not impossible. Just because it’s difficult does not mean it will never happen. However, it is much easier to find something when you know what you are looking for and where to look for it. If you employ this strategy in all areas of your life, you may find yourself getting exactly what you want.

Featured photo credit: mokeywings via flickr.com

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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