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Finding “The One” Isn’t Unrealistic, Here’s How

Finding “The One” Isn’t Unrealistic, Here’s How

When it comes to relationships, many people experience the same thing. They either flee happy relationships or stay in poor ones for a single reason: the fear of missing out.

Almost everyone wants to find the perfect mate, known as “The One.” This mate fulfills everything that you ever wanted in a mate and even things you wanted in yourself. This perfect partner is different for everyone; however, one thing is certain, finding the love of your life is not easy.

So many people go through life dating blindly in an attempt to find that special Prince Charming, or looking for that special Cinderella to fit in the glass slipper. Many people settle down when they find someone who they care about enough to consider spending their life with. Plain and simple: this is the wrong way to find your perfect mate.

If you travel through life hoping that the thing you want most will simply hit you in the face, there is a good chance you will never find it. Of course, you will find people and things that you like or even love. However, if you do not have plan to get everything you desire, you will never reach your goals.

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If you have struggled to find “The One”, follow these essential rules for finding and attracting the perfect mate.

Know What You Want In a Mate

The biggest problem that most people have when they look for their perfect partner is that they have no idea what they want. Some people may have a list of arbitrary must-haves. Others will simply go out with anyone who asks them and hope for the best.

To find the person that you are most compatible with, you need to know what you are looking for. Even if you already know the exact qualities you want in another person, it is important to have a real understanding of what these qualities mean.

A great exercise to figure out what is truly important to you is to write out all of the traits you desire in a list. Somethings sound great in your head; yet, when you write them out on paper, you realize this is not what you want at all.

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When you have defined precisely what you want, you will be able to recognize it in another person. When you can recognize whether the person you are with is right for you, it will ease any fears of missing out.

Follow Your Intention with Action

Establishing what you want in a mate is the best way to set your intentions in life and in love. However, it is not enough to set your intentions, you must also follow this with action.

Once you know what you want in another person, you need to go out and get it. The way that you do this is different from how you might have previously tried to meet people. You need to get out into the kind of environment where you might find your perfect mate.

You must stop looking to meet people at bars, clubs, or parties if you have a specific idea of who your soul mate is. Unless “bar-fly” is at the top of your list, you are better suited to be looking in specific places and situations to meet someone special.

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For example, if your perfect mate dedicates much of their time and resources to adventure and foreign travel, then you are better suited looking for someone at Machu Picchu than at the bodega down the street. Yes, the pool of people will be smaller, but you will already have plenty of things in common, thus increasing your chances of finding that special person.

Take Your Time

Falling head over heels in love at first sight is hardly what it seems. In most cases, couples fall head over heels in lust. They also neglect to have important conversations about their priorities in life because they do not want to rock the boat

If you think you have found “The One”, then it is important to take your time when you begin your relationship. Spending time getting to know the person that they are without the pressures attached to dating is the best way to know whether that person is a compatible mate for you. This also prevents the drama of all the ups and downs from clouding your judgement.

There is nothing wrong with taking your time when you begin a meaningful relationship. There is no time lost when you are getting to know your soul-mate because if you do it right, you can spend the rest of your lives together.

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Conclusion

Finding “The One” is not impossible. Just because it’s difficult does not mean it will never happen. However, it is much easier to find something when you know what you are looking for and where to look for it. If you employ this strategy in all areas of your life, you may find yourself getting exactly what you want.

Featured photo credit: mokeywings via flickr.com

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Last Updated on September 12, 2019

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

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Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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