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Secret Strategies To Help You Win Every Argument

Secret Strategies To Help You Win Every Argument

Have you ever been in a situation where you were engaged in an argument with a ridiculously stubborn person? You know that you are right, and that this person is just spewing out a whole bunch of bull, but you just can’t seem to get them to budge.

If you want to learn the ability to win any argument, there are just a few things that you have to do. Thankfully, they’re listed right here.

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Have them explain their side.

A really good way to win an argument is to ask the opposing person to explain how their side of the argument can be brought to reality. Don’t just have them list a bunch of reasons why they are right. Have them actually explain, in detail, how their idea would be implemented. Make sure they explain the first steps they would take, all the way through the entire process. You will find that they really didn’t put that much thought into it after all.

Acknowledge their plan of attack, but not their conclusion.

If your opponent can explain how their idea would work, a good trick is to acknowledge the fact that they have thought it all out, but don’t agree with the conclusion. Tell them, “Its a good idea on paper, but it would never work in real life”.

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Exaggerate your opponent’s proposition.

Do what you can to make what they are saying sound ridiculous to them. Chances are, they will begin to realize it and give up trying to argue their point. Also, by doing this, you will begin to generalize their proposition, making it easier to poke holes in their story, until it’s beyond repair.

Try to call their bluff.

A lot of times people who are taking a stand in an argument are probably doing so based on only a small number of facts. When you are in an argument, make a statement about what they are saying that is untrue, and try to see if they can actually pick up on it. If they don’t, call them out on it. If they were worth having the argument with, they should know their facts.

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Point out the inconsistencies of their argument.

For example, if the person you are arguing with is stating that the company you both work for is a terrible company, respond by telling them to quit and go somewhere else to work. This person is just contradicting themselves, and is already fighting a losing argument.

Let your opponent get angry.

The more they get angry and worked up, the less logical their thinking becomes. Just remember to not get angry yourself! The calmer you stay, the more likely they will get worked up even more. Eventually, you’ll cause them to just give up on trying to make their point.

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Don’t try to persuade them to take your side.

While this is most people’s goals in an argument, it never turns out the way you want it to. If you get into an argument with the pure intention to try to smooth talk your opponent to your side, you might as well just give up in the beginning. If you can stand strong, state your facts, and (somewhat) respect your opponent’s argument, you have a better chance at winning it.

Actually listen to what they are saying.

If you are just brushing off what they say, and going straight into your argument, your chances of walking away with a win are slim. After all, how are you able to take their points and disassemble them into pointless statements, if you don’t know what the hell they are actually saying? That is when the endless back and forth debates start happening. That is not what we want, right?

Featured photo credit: Tall Tales/Kai Schreiber via flickr.com

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Michael Daws

Aircraft Painter, Sports & Lifestyle Blogger

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

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